


Torn

by Snowfall



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2017-11-16 00:52:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 104,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowfall/pseuds/Snowfall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>YAOI, Sess/Inu, Kouga/Inu - Two unlikely candidates war over one distraught hanyou. Between love, friendship, longing, distrust, and betrayal, Inuyasha must make his choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in response to ayame hiwatari’s challenge some years ago and posted on adultfanfiction dot net. It has been down for some years. Some chapters have since been edited, some haven't. Hope you enjoy.

“Kaze no Kizu!” yelled the red clad figure as his sword came crashing to the ground, flinging angry walls of flames, the ground cracking and groaning as it split from the force. The burning winds created by the firestorm scorched the young hanyou’s face and singed his billowing waist length white hair. Once the flames died down, Inuyasha searched with keen amber eyes for the target of his deadly blast. The triangular puppy dog ears atop his head strained in an effort to confirm his victory.

“Ha, ha, ha, ha.” the disembodied voice of his arch nemesis boomed across the miasma ridden ruins of the battlefield.

“Where the fuck is he, Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha nearly screamed, his chest heaving in frustration. “Why aren’t you dead, Naraku? Show yourself, you bastard!”

“Inuyasha. Calm yourself,” admonished the great Lord of the Western Lands, always in control, always calculating, never surprised. Well, rarely. The flat monotone of his voice belied the fierce desire for revenge. Naraku had had the gall to kidnap his Rin. His Rin! No one touched what belonged to him. Sesshoumaru’s reputation as the perfect assassin had been besmirched by his inability to destroy Naraku. But at least Rin was safe. Now to destroy the sonofabitch that did it.

Sesshoumaru scanned the area with golden eyes as intense as Inuyasha’s. They were, after all, half brothers. But whereas Inuyasha was average height, Sesshoumaru was at least six foot five. Silver satin tresses flowed to his ankles. In contrast to Inuyasha’s plain red garments, Sesshoumaru wore gleaming white, trimmed in intricate patterns of gold and red. Strong metal armor protected his chest and what was left of his left arm. His face bore the markings of his family, a crescent moon on his forehead and two lavender stripes on his cheeks. He didn’t have Inuyasha’s ears. He had the ears of a full demon, nicely proportioned and pointy against the side of his head. None of that dog eared crap his hanyou brother was cursed with.

The brothers stood, several yards between them, both searching for some sign of their enemy. The fire neko circled overhead with the demon exterminator, Sango, astride her back. Her dark brown ponytail flew behind her as her dark piercing eyes viewed the carnage. Kagome, a highschool girl from the future, stood clothed in a green skirt and white sailor top. Her bow was drawn as her soul poured purifying energy into an arrow. But her target had disappeared.

Saimyoshou invaded the skies. Kilala, the fire neko, dodged the poisonous wasps. Sango’s boomerang, hiraikotzu, swept through the throng taking out dozens. But it wasn’t enough. They headed straight for Kagome and the jewel shards hanging around her neck in a small glass bottle. Sesshoumaru ignored them, sniffing out Naraku, unaffected by the miasma.

Inuyasha’s sword was useless against the insects because his friends might get fried by the wide range of destruction. With their safety in mind, he took a clawed finger, using it to slit a gash his arm. Blood flowed freely while he dipped his fingers in the blood, flinging it in sweeping arcs.

“Blades of Blood!” Swathes of bloody blades cut through the swarm and still it wasn’t enough.

It was time for the monk to take his turn. Purple and black robes wrestled with the wind while he unwrapped the prayer beads from his right hand. Deep, violet eyes set in a masculine, handsome face concentrated on the evil before him. This was a risk that could kill him, but he would always protect those he loved

“Wind tunnel!”

“No, Miroku!” screamed Kagome, running toward him, her short green skirt nearly giving away her undergarments as she sprinted to the monk.

The black hole in Miroku’s hand drew the saimyoshou to him.

“The poison will kill you, idiot!” yelled Inuyasha as he took off behind Kagome.

Screaming ensued as wasps swarmed the group. Sesshoumaru sighed upon hearing their frantic attempts to stop the monk.

“You will not escape so easily, Naraku,” he muttered underneath his breath before heading in the direction of the group of misfits.

“Get down!” commanded the elegant assassin. He didn’t even wait to see if they had obeyed.

Luminescent green energy ribbons flew from the palm of his hand as his body became a whirl of silver and white. Bloody bits of organs and wasp husks rained from the sky while the wasps of lesser intelligence were caught in the blender of Sesshoumaru’s making. A very few raced away saving themselves from a gruesome fate. The ribbons retracted as Sesshoumaru slowed into a graceful dance of color and landed in front of the group.

Kagome lay on the ground in Inuyasha’s protective embrace. The monk lay safely beneath the exterminator, his hand carefully making its way up her thigh to her buttocks.

“Pervert! How can you even think of that right now!?” Sango screamed as Miroku was dealt a near deadly blow to his face.

“Ah, it was worth the pain,” he sighed with satisfaction while closing his eyes and caressing his swollen cheek.

It was all Naraku needed. The distraction he had so carefully choreographed days in advance had come to fruition. It was the monk’s keen senses that first picked up the vibration along his back. He rolled away from the area, calling out to Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru picked up Inuyasha by his haori and flung both Inuyasha and Kagome toward Sango and Miroku.

For some unexplainable reason, Sesshoumaru had been more concerned about his brother’s welfare than his own well-being. He simply acted without thought, not bothering to lift himself from the ground as hardened tentacles pierced the earth and ran him through. A shoulder blade exploded. Before he had time to even attempt to dislodge it, he watched in horror as another branch of the evil hanyou shot out from his gut. The perfect assassin would not have fallen from these wounds. However, they were joined by another injury to the inner thigh of his left leg.

Naraku burst from the ground while, with a sickening slurp, his tentacles withdrew from the taiyoukai’s flesh. Sesshoumaru fell as their wicked enemy raced toward the misfits who were gaping at Inuyasha’s brother. He had saved them, those that he openly appeared to despise. As Sesshoumaru fell, he managed to make a sweeping swing of Tokijin, taking out several of Naraku’s spider legs, slowing down the demon’s attempt to reach the small band of misfits.

Kagome, the reluctant priestess, had already nocked an arrow, pouring her purifying power into it. Inuyasha’s amber eyes glowed with anger as he lifted his father’s fang, his sword, Tetsusaiga.

“Where’s the jewel, Kagome?” Inuyasha yelled.

“In the center of his back,” Kagome hissed between gritted teeth.

Inuyasha grabbed her and leapt high into a tree above the beast.

“You aim for the jewel and let the arrow loose after I send out the wind scar. You’ll be able the see the jewel. Can you handle that?”

“No prob, Inuyasha. Just do it.”

Inuyasha never lost his grip on Kagome as he let loose the power of his sword.

“Kaze no Kizu!”

Through the center of the backlash, Kagome could see the jewel and let loose her arrow.

“Do it, do it, do it,” she chanted in a near whisper as the arrow sought its target.

The world exploded in a blinding white light only to rain brown goo on the exhausted warriors. Inuyasha jumped to the ground, losing his footing in the slime. Kagome ended up on sitting on top of his hips as he attempted to suck in breath.

“Get off me, wench. We need to find the jewel before that asshole decides to come back to life again!” demanded Inuyasha.

“Humph, idiot,” she muttered under her breath, though she knew he had a valid point.

“Where is it, Kagome?” asked Inuyasha as he stood up and pulled a clump of wriggling something from his hair.

“There,” she said, pointing to the center of the mess they had made.

Inuyasha grabbed her by the waist, again, and hopped on what solid patches there were. He dug his sword into what appeared to be the center of Naraku’s back, working the nearly completed jewel loose. The deep purple color confirmed the vile taint of the evil Naraku. Inuyasha was almost afraid to touch it for fear it would bring out his demon side, though becoming full demon had originally been his purpose for seeking the jewel. But now he knew what being a full demon meant and killing everything in his path, including his friends, was not a pleasant thought.

Kagome noticed his reluctance to retrieve the jewel and bent down, instantly purifying the evil as her fingers wrapped around it. The bulk beneath them turned to ash, never to be reborn. Naraku was finally dead. But, only Miroku could verify that fact. Kagome turned from Inuyasha as she slipped the jewel into her bra.

‘ _This is what Inuyasha has wanted all this time. Now he will have it,’_ she thought, sighing as she realized that her mission was over and she would be going home, for good. Never to see her friends again. Never to see Inuyasha again. It hurt. It seemed that she had spent the better part of three years in the feudal era, trying to piece together the jewel she had accidentally shattered. Fighting for their lives together had forged tight bonds that would never be broken. Her heart was silently breaking. It wasn’t just her friends; she loved Inuyasha with all that was in her.

“Wake up! We need to check on the others,” grumbled Inuyasha, his own heart breaking. _‘I’ll never see her again.’_

“Yeah, well…just don’t grab me again!” Kagome hid her grief behind harsh words and trudged after the man that she loved.

“Pervert!”

Whap!

“But, Sango dear, the battle is over,” groaned the perverted monk.

“It doesn’t matter. Can’t you think of anything else!? We have injured people to attend to,” shouted the angry demon slayer.

“You know, you are quite beautiful when you are angry, my dear Sango. Would you do me the honor of bearing my children?” rasped Miroku from his prone position, sprawled out flat on his back.

Sango’s jaw dropped and the crimson of her anger turned to the deepest blush Miroku had ever seen.

“Well?”

“But…but, you’ve never asked me before. Why now, houshi?” she stammered.

“Naraku is gone, our children will be safe. I would not curse a child with my wind tunnel. Now that I can truly have a child… would you bear my child?” Miroku almost seemed to plead.

“You were never serious when you asked all those other women?”

“How could I be when I already have the most beautiful woman in the world by my side? Marry me; have my children.”

“Hou…Houshi!”

“I love you,” he whispered.

“You’re just a pervert,” declared Inuyasha as he and Kagome strode up to the couple.

Kagome elbowed Inuyasha in the side and glared at him, giving him the _‘I’ll sit you into the ground five feet deep’_ stare. Inuyasha certainly didn’t want the bewitched beads around his neck to yank his face down into the dirt. He’d be spitting dirt from his nose and mouth for a week.

“Humph,” he grumbled half-heartedly. _‘I wonder if the beads will disappear once she is gone.’_

“Is your wind tunnel gone, monk?” scowled Inuyasha.

Miroku stared at his right hand, almost afraid to loose his prayer beads, afraid to take that final peek. The black hole had been there since he had been a teenager. He had almost resigned himself to the fact that one day it would draw him in and he would be forever lost to the world of the living. He shifted nervously in his black and purple robes, the sound of fabric sliding together almost too loud in his anticipation.

‘ _Well, there’s nothing for it but to do it,’_ he thought. Carefully removing the string of white beads from his hand and wrist, Miroku hesitantly pulled back the purple cloth. Nothing happened. He just stared at his hand. It was whole. He flexed his fingers and, for the first time since he was a child, marveled at the feel of his hand in its normal state.

“It’s gone,” he whispered. _‘Gone!’_

Suddenly there were cheers and Miroku was being drawn to his feet as everyone danced around, hugging him.

Sango wasn’t about to be deterred from the conversation with Miroku though. She had longed for this day and wouldn’t let it slip away. She grabbed him from the front of his robe, holding him firmly in place. Miroku’s deep violet eyes held her in thrall as she answered.

“It would be an honor and a pleasure,” she announced, loud enough that all the others could hear.

It took Miroku a moment to realize where this seemingly strange declaration had originated. Suddenly, his eyebrows flew up and he crushed her against his body.

“Oh, Sango, Sango,” he whispered into her ear as relief flooded him. “We will rebuild your village and you will bear many children, I promise.”

“Finally!” A small fox demon hopped out from behind a tree and jumped onto Kagome’s shoulder.

“Shippou! You’re not supposed to be here! How could you disobey me?” Kagome complained, her stomach rising to her throat at the thought that her adopted child could have been killed.

“I couldn’t leave you, mama. I just couldn’t,” he pouted.

She would have admonished him, but remembered that she would be leaving him and didn’t want him to remember her with a scowl on her face.

“Well, you kept yourself from getting hurt, so I guess it’s okay.”

Inuyasha left the group, wandering over to his half-brother who had managed to crawl to a large old tree. He lay propped on his white fluffy pelt against the trunk beneath wide spreading branches, devoid of leaves because of the poisonous miasma. His head lay to the right, half buried in the fur. Inuyasha knelt beside him, noting that his once white regal attire was soaked in blood. He studied Sesshoumaru’s face, looking for some sign of life. The blue crescent moon in the center of Sesshoumaru’s forehead seemed to have faded, as well as the two maroon stripes on each cheek.

‘ _His markings are so pale and he looks so pasty. Could he really be dead? He doesn’t smell like it.’_ Inuyasha was unsure of whether or not he wanted the half brother, who had always seemed to be trying to kill him and take Tetsusaiga, to actually die.

‘ _He did save my life and he didn’t have to. Damn it.’_ Furrowing his brow, Inuyasha felt the large vein that protruded from Sesshoumaru’s neck. There was a pulse, but it was weak, and getting weaker by the moment.

Inuyasha looked up to find his friends standing behind him.

“Kagome, get that backpack thing of yours. Sesshoumaru needs help if we’re gonna save him.”

Kagome looked at Inuyasha quizzically. “But why, Inuyasha?”

“He saved us, remember?”

Kagome nodded and ran off to retrieve the overstuffed, yellow backpack that held her first aid kit.

“Do you think this is wise, Inuyasha?” asked Miroku.

“Who knows? But I can’t let him die after helping us defeat Naraku and saving our lives now, can I?” Inuyasha sighed

“I guess not. But he will probably try to kill you again. You know that,” said Sango.

“Yeah, I know,” mumbled Inuyasha, disheartened that he would once again be on opposite sides of the fence with his brother.

’ _Why can’t he accept me? I can’t help it that father gave me this sword and that he made a barrier so Sesshoumaru couldn’t use it. It’s not my fault that I’m hanyou. He’s such a fucking bastard. That’s all there is to it.’_

Inuyasha was startled out of his thoughts when Kagome dropped the backpack while flopping onto the ground in order to dig through it.

“I don’t know how much help these bandages will be. But, it will have to do ‘til we can get him to Kaede. We are going to take him to Kaede, right?” she asked.

“I guess we’ll have to. I don’t know how to help him,” said Inuyasha as he removed Sesshoumaru’s clothing. He searched about for something to wipe away the blood. The wounds weren’t very visible beneath all the blood.

“Here, Inuyasha,” said Miroku.

A swath of purple cloth fell into view as Miroku held his outer robe in front of him.

“Thanks.”

“You’re more than welcome, my friend.”

Inuyasha found he needed help. Miroku held Sesshoumaru up from under the shoulders while Sango held her hands against the small of his back. While Inuyasha kept entrails from falling out of the exit wounds, Kagome ran bandages around Sesshoumaru’s torso. The maneuvers required to keep the bandages tight while being applied was no easy feat. But they managed it, amazed that the most powerful demon in the land never once showed any sign of leaving his state of unconsciousness.

With the most serious injuries treated, Inuyasha stared at the tear in the fabric at his brother’s thigh and considered his options.

’ _I can’t believe I’m going to have to do this. He’s going to be royally pissed.’_

He took the small pair of scissors from the first aid kit and began carefully cutting away at Sesshoumaru’s hakama just above the wound. Kagome pulled the pant leg free while Inuyasha made a quick study and used the last of the bandages to wrap the leg.

“I think we can go now,” said Inuyasha, receiving nods all around. “Sango, do you think Kilala could carry him? I’m strong enough, but the balance would be off and wouldn’t be the most gentle on him.”

“Consider it done, Inuyasha,” replied Sango. “Kilala,” she called to her fire neko.

The little, blonde, two-tailed kitten transformed into her full size cat demon form, saber teeth growing long from her jaws, fire spitting from her paws. Though she was the epitome of ferocity, she was a sweet and brave creature, often flying into battle with Sango astride her back. It was a small thing for her to carry three or even four people and she was always happy to help her friends. However, Sesshoumaru wasn’t really a friend at all, perhaps even an enemy.

“Kilala, would you mind carrying Sesshoumaru to Kaede’s?” Sango asked.

Kilala looked from Sango to the fallen demon lord then back to Sango as though contemplating the risks.

“I’ll go with you, Kilala, just to make sure the bastard doesn’t wake up and get out of hand,” assured Inuyasha.

Nodding, Kilala gave her consent.

“I don’t want anyone going with us. Sesshoumaru is too dangerous,” warned Inuyasha.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” said Miroku, raising his brows and waving his hands in front of his chest as though warding off imminent danger.

“You’re going to have to help me get him onto Kilala’s back though, monk,” said Inuyasha, narrowing his eyes at Miroku.

“We’ll all help,” interjected Kagome.

Sango nodded. “I’ll get on Kilala with you. Miroku and Kagome can lift up his legs.”

“Alright. Let’s get going,” grumbled Inuyasha as he slid his right arm behind Sesshoumaru’s bare back and under his right arm.

Kilala lay down on the ground and waited. Sango hopped up as Inuyasha and Miroku brought Sesshoumaru up beside Kilala, lifting him up to her. Sango slid her arms under Sesshoumaru’s arms and locked her hands, holding him in place as Inuyasha jumped up beside her and hauled Sesshoumaru onto Kilala’s back. Kagome and Miroku lifted his legs while Inuyasha wrapped his left arm around Sesshoumaru’s waist and hauled him the rest of the way up.

Sesshoumaru was just so tall that his legs hung from Kilala’s side and Inuyasha would have to be content with holding his half brother the entire journey just to make sure neither one of them slid off. He couldn’t very well have Sesshoumaru straddling Kilala as that would aggravate his injuries. Instead, Sesshoumaru would have to ride side-saddle, as it were.

“You are such a pain in the ass, Sesshoumaru,” mumbled Inuyasha as he tried to get comfortable, adjusting Sesshoumaru this way and that. Holding his brother would never be comfortable no matter how hard he tried, so he just gave up and did what he needed to do.

‘ _This is so embarrassing.’_ The best he could do was wrap his right arm around Sesshoumaru’s shoulders and clutch Sesshoumaru’s upper thigh with his left hand. _‘You better appreciate this, you…Damn it. Why would it even occur to me that the bastard would ever appreciate anything anyone ever did for him? God, I hate him.’_

At least, that is what Inuyasha believed.

“Off you go, Inuyasha. You know it would take us forever to catch up, so send Kilala back to us when you get there. And…be careful,” said Kagome, smiling up at him, though she worried about the danger this situation presented for Inuyasha.

“Keh! I can take care of myself just fine,” Inuyasha snorted, sticking his nose up in the air.

As soon as Kilala had taken flight, Inuyasha studied his brother, making sure there were still life signs. He had never seen Sesshoumaru look vulnerable, almost ordinary. Almost. Sesshoumaru would never be ordinary. Even in his unconscious half dressed state, his face and body spoke of high breeding. It was amazing how his clothes and armor made him appear thin, almost small, except for his height. Gazing at him, Inuyasha marveled at his well muscled build, everything well defined, not skin and bone. He exuded strength and power from beneath his skin, just as his stance and demeanor did when he was on his feet. There was nothing weak about him. Inuyasha sighed.

’ _I wish I could be like him. He’s so fucking strong and sure of himself. So full of shit. All that_ “I am better you” _attitude, I would do without. But, I could sure use some of his confidence.’_

Inuyasha felt the smooth satin of Sesshoumaru’s clothing. Of course, he was not fondling Sesshoumaru. Not in the least.

‘ _It looks so…princely. Not like my fire rat robe. The screaming red thing has saved my life more times than I can count, but it sure isn’t refined like his. It serves its purpose though. Protect the weak hanyou. But you don’t need anything like that, do you?’_

His eyes moved back to make sure that Sesshoumaru’s chest was rising and falling as it should. It wasn’t, of course. He had to put his ear to the skin to actually feel the small movement. There was rattling inside and he checked Sesshoumaru’s face. Blood was trickling in a thin line from the right side of Sesshoumaru’s mouth.

“Fuck, Sesshoumaru! Don’t you die on me! You’re not supposed to be able to die, you bastard!”

Panic rose from his chest to settle into his throat and he didn’t even question why. He looped his left leg under Sesshoumaru’s thighs so he could free his left hand.

“Sess, wake up!” he demanded, grabbing Sesshoumaru’s chin and giving it a hard shake. “Wake up, you bastard!”

Somewhere, under pitch black skies and standing precariously on the precipice of death, muffled words floated on a silent breeze.

‘ _Sess…no one has called me that since...’_

Images of a small hanyou child with white hair and puppy ears racing toward him with a big smile on his face seeped through his mind.

” _Do not touch me, half-breed.”_

“ _But, Sesshie,” pouted the small boy._ Even the large golden eyes seemed to pout.

“ _Have I not told you? Never call me by that name again, hanyou. Never speak to me again.”_

Wide eyes filled with tears as the entire being before him seemed to droop. If it weren’t for the fact that the child had replaced him in his father’s heart, he would have comforted the endearing creature, been the brother he should have been.

Then the images started to fade, drifting back into the cloying darkness.

” _Sesshoumaru!”_ That voice, so annoying, and so damn loud _. “Wake up, you bastard! WAKE UP!”_

‘ _Wake up? But I’m not asleep. Why is it so dark?’_

Something warm was pressed up against him, holding him down. At least that’s what it felt like. Sesshoumaru tried to move, but his limbs would not obey and there was something strange about his left arm. Even his eyes did not want to open, as though they were leaden weights. Perhaps they weren’t closed and he was blind.

’ _What’s wrong with my arm? Why can’t I feel my fingers? Oh, not there anymore.’_

More images. Tetsusaiga sliced through his left arm, wielded by the adult version of that small child. The arm was gone. It would grow back, with time, much time.

‘ _How long will it take? A decade? A century?’_

It didn’t occur to him to be angry. The lack of his arm was simply a fact of life. Something shook his face, rattling his brain it seemed, as he regained some feeling. He tried harder and through slits encountered large amber eyes, full of concern and…

‘ _Why does he look so panicked? Inuyasha never shows fear. It’s just not his style. Wait a minute... What the hell is going on!?’_

“Damn it, Sesshoumaru. Don’t do that.”

Sesshoumaru’s throat wouldn’t work, not that it mattered since his chest wasn’t up the task of drawing enough breath to vibrate his vocal cords.

‘ _Do what, you ignorant half-breed?’_

As though reading his thoughts, Inuyasha answered in barely a whisper. “Don’t you die, Sess. Don’t die, okay?”

’ _Sess…Sess…’_

Darkness crept in, erasing those amber eyes, taking the images with it.

Inuyasha froze as his brother’s eyes glazed over then drifted shut. When they didn’t fall open in a dead stare, he sighed in relief.

“At least you’re not dead yet,” he muttered, hugging Sesshoumaru to his chest and nestling his cheek into the silky silver bangs covering his brother’s forehead.

‘ _He would’ve never let me do this to him under any circumstances. Why do you hate me so much, Sesshoumaru? What did I ever do to you? You hated me before we found the Tetsusaiga. Well, I’m not gonna let you die as long as you still hate me. You’re not getting away from me that easy. Oh yeah. You deserve to stay here and let me piss you off. If you can’t accept me, I’ll make sure you stay miserable, you ass.’_

Inuyasha watched the landscape fly by while Kilala streaked toward Edo. The old priestess would fix up his brother. He was sure of that. He had to be sure. And after that? What would Sesshoumaru do?

‘ _Leave, with some snide remark of course. That is if the bastard doesn’t try killing me first.’_

“Asshole,” Inuyasha smirked.

Seeping through the darkness, Sesshoumaru thought he could hear the voice of Inuyasha.

” _You know, I think you’re just a spoiled rotten brat. Your mama probably did everything for you and you’re just pissed that you have to take care of yourself now.”_

Chuckling whispered through the inky fog of his semi-consciousness.

“ _I know, it’s stupid. Just kidding. I wish I did know why you hate me so much, Sess…Sesshoumaru. I really do. You don’t despise me like you do humans. You reeeeally hate me, like I’ve killed your favorite pet or something. What did I do to make you hate me? I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it, Sess?”_ Fingers brushed his hair back and tucked it behind his ear. _“You’ll get better and then we’ll keep trying to kill each other. Well, I’m not going to try to kill you, just keep you from killing me. Life will go on just like always…won’t it, Sess. Just like always…”_

‘ _He’s babbling. Naraku’s miasma must have addled his brain. Why do I hate him so much? It’s a reasonable question. Mmm. Why…Because he’s an idiot, human? No, father gave him what should have been mine. But, like he said, I hated him before that. Father, yes it was father. He took that human wench and I wouldn’t see him for days. Then he had that brat and never even knew when I was in the same room. I hate you, Inuyasha. I’ve hated you since the day you were born, since before you were born. And I’m tired, so tired. Is it really worth the effort to hate you this much? Like you said, you never did anything to hurt me personally.’_

Sesshoumaru sank back into the comforting darkness where neither sight, sound nor smell, could disturb his rest.

Sometimes we fight most fiercely when we know we are about to lose the battle.


	2. Reluctant Patient

Outside the old priestess’s hut, Kagome sat with the Jewel of Four Souls cradled in the palm of her hand. Inuyasha sat next to her, gazing off into the distance. Sango and Miroku watched the two with trepidation.

“I told you, I don’t want it. I don’t need to make a wish on it,” Inuyasha sighed as he turned to look at her.

“But…that’s all you’ve talked about the past three years. Why not?” asked Kagome.

“Look Kagome, that thing has done nothing but corrupt and destroy. If I were to use it, there’s no telling what I would become. I don’t want that. Only you can purify the evil that it seems to crave. I can’t do it. You’ve made me happy being what I am. I don’t want to be a full demon anymore.”

Kagome nodded her head. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Go home and use it to seal the well,” he said, pain etched in his face.

“But…that’s all you’ve talked about the past three years and…and I won’t be able to see all of you again!” she exclaimed.

“You can’t live in two different times, Kagome. What if you have children here? Where would they belong? Where would their home be? You weren’t meant to stay here. The jewel was inside of you. It doesn’t belong here either. It wasn’t meant for me. Go home to the future and…be happy,” he muttered with finality, shifting his face to the ground and swallowing the lump in his throat.

“You’re right. You know, you’re pretty smart for such a hard-headed idiot,” she conceded, giving him a weak smile while tears streaked down her face.

Then she surprised him. “You won’t need these anymore,” she whispered, lifting the enchanted beads from around his neck. “I want to keep them so I will know that this was all real. That it really did happen.”

Inuyasha nodded before raising his eyebrows and making a surprising demand. “I want your backpack and everything that’s in it.”

“Not my school books, Inuyasha. You can’t have those. Besides, leaving that kind of knowledge here in the past could be dangerous. Promise me that one day you will burn the backpack. It can’t be found in my time by people digging up old bones.”

Inuyasha sighed. “Isn’t there something I can keep?”

Kagome emptied all the contents of her backpack, spilling it onto the ground. She sifted through everything then something sparkling in the sunlight caught her attention.

“How did that get in there?” she asked herself, picking up a pair of gold studded earrings. “Oh! I had to take them out when I took a shower after gym at school.”

She looked up at Inuyasha’s ears, imagining what they would look like. “Here, keep one of these in your ear and I’ll keep one in mine. I’ll show you.” She proceeded to demonstrate by putting one of the earrings in her ear.

“Mmm. When I put it in my ear, the skin will grow around it and it will never come out.” Inuyasha was silent for a moment while he contemplated whether or not he wanted such a permanent reminder of his relationship with her then took the one earring out of her hand and studied it. “Take that thing off the back. My claws are too big.”

Kagome took the back from the earring post and handed it to him. She held up her mirror while he proceeded to pierce his right ear, lodging the earring permanently near the base. Though she knew it had to hurt his very sensitive ears, he didn’t even wince.

Kagome took hers out. “I know you can do this fast enough that it won’t hurt me too much. Put it in the top of my ear. It will stay better up there.”

As Kagome held her breath, Inuyasha did as he was asked, even though he was afraid of slicing her with his claws. A rush of air escaped her lungs when he was finished. He had been so quick that she hadn’t even felt it.

“Happy now?” she asked, smiling at the connection that would bind them across five hundred years.

“Yes. Let’s take you home.”

After saying her sad goodbyes, Inuyasha escorted Kagome through the well and gave his last farewell to her family. They stood at the lip of the well in her time, not wanting to part, not wanting it to be the end.

“Inuyasha?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have a goodbye kiss?” she asked as a flaming blush lit up her cheeks.

Inuyasha gaped at her in stunned silence.

‘ _I guess that’s a_ “no”,’ she sighed to herself. “Stupid jerk!”

“Oi, wench! What was that for?” Inuyasha grabbed her and pressed his lips to hers, hard and rough, but chaste. “Be happy, Kagome,” he whispered in her ear.

In a flash he was gone…forever. By some power he possessed, perhaps not belonging in Kagome’s time, the well had waited for him. Once he was through, the portal to her time closed behind him, never to be opened again.

Back in the feudal era, Shippou was waiting for Inuyasha on the other side of the well. “Can I stay with you, Inuyasha? You can teach me how to be a strong youkai.”

Inuyasha studied the whelp for a moment. “Sure Shippou. Just don’t piss me off and I won’t have to bonk you on the head. You can’t go running to Kagome now.”

Tears started forming in the kitsune’s eyes.

“I know. I’ll miss her too,” Inuyasha said as his features softened.

“Oi, dog breath! Where’s my woman?” called Kouga, the wolf prince as he sped toward the well.

“She’s already gone home and she’s not coming back. You should’ve gotten here sooner, stupid idiot. She wanted to say goodbye to you,” reprimanded Inuyasha. “Though I have no idea why, you wimpy wolf,” he added, glaring at his rival for Kagome’s affections.

Kouga was crestfallen and once again Inuyasha felt like scum. They were all hurting with Kagome’s departure. There was no reason for him and the wolf prince to be at odds with each other anymore.

“Come on. You can come with us to check on Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha softly offered without even glancing at Kouga.

Inuyasha picked up Shippou by the tail and set the kitsune on his shoulder. “Just don’t touch the ears, kid.”

The bronze-skinned wolf demon fell into step beside Inuyasha as they headed toward the village. A flowing white mane of waist length hair was met by the raven hair of the wolf’s long ponytail as a breeze wafted through their path. Steely blue eyes glanced at the hanyou and Kouga wondered how Inuyasha would live without his Kagome now that the priestess Kikyou was also gone. Kouga had watched her new clay body when it had been destroyed on the battlefield at the hands of Naraku. For a fraction of a moment, Inuyasha’s eyes had reflected the fifty year void that had been taken from him and Kikyou. Then it had vanished, as the priestess had over fifty years ago. But Kagome had remained, so Inuyasha had continued to have a reason to defeat Naraku. Both women were out of Inuyasha’s reach now.

In Inuyasha’s long centuries, they had been the first to accept him, the first to offer him friendship. Through them, he had, for the first time in his life, developed bonds with others. Now, once again, his rival would be alone; no one to speak with, no one to protect and no one to comfort him.

Kouga worried that the sensitive half-breed might not have the will to live once his friends went their separate ways. The monk and demon exterminator would be leaving to rebuild their village. They would become their own pack. There was Shippou, but how long could the temperamental hanyou be able to handle raising a fox kit? Not that he really had a reason to even consider it. However, strangely enough, it did concern him. Over the past few years, the entire crew had lived through a series of life and death struggles. That camaraderie created an unbreakable bond. For Inuyasha, all of those ties would be broken. The humans would go their separate ways, and he doubted that Inuyasha would continue to keep the kit around.

Kouga had thought long and hard about it. He and Inuyasha weren’t exactly mortal enemies. Perhaps he should poke around and see if Inuyasha might be willing to come home with him to his own pack. Of course, he would have to approach the subject carefully. Wouldn’t want to hurt Inuyasha’s pride.

~*~

“You know, you can be such a fucking asshole!? I should have left you with the old priestess, Kaede,” Inuyasha huffed.

Sesshoumaru gave Inuyasha a bored glance before turning his gaze back to the ceiling. He was back in his auspicious castle, in his own bed and feeling right at home tormenting his half-brother. It wasn’t as though he had the ability to kill the hanyou. Not yet.

“I brought fresh meat with the blood still hot, just how you like it, mister ‘I don’t eat human food’,” Inuyasha sneered.

Kouga watched in amusement while the two brothers battled it out. They might not be using swords, but their tongues were just as sharp.

“I said I was not hungry, hanyou. My servants will see to my care. Leave my lands.”

“Humph, like I trust them. You can’t even sit up yet,” Inuyasha growled.

“Why do you not leave me in peace?” Sesshoumaru sighed, closing his eyes in exasperation.

“It’s the least I can do for you since you saved all our lives,” said Inuyasha as he strode over to the side table and once again picked up a strip of meat.

“See? Look, fresh.” He waved the piece of meat under Sesshoumaru’s nose.

Sesshoumaru glared at Inuyasha and, growling, raised his right hand, dripping with noxious fumes and acidic gas. Inuyasha scoffed as he slapped Sesshoumaru’s hand down and sat on it.

“You don’t have the strength to threaten me, you overgrown brat.”

“You do not comprehend your fate. As soon as I am able, I will kill you,” growled Sesshoumaru.

“I know. You’ve only said it ten times this morning. It’s not like I didn’t already know that. So don’t keep repeating yourself. You’re just wasting your energy. Here, eat.”

“I am in hell,” muttered Sesshoumaru as he closed his eyes. He had no idea just how close it sounded to whining.

The sound of light footfalls drew the brothers’ attention to the doorway. Sesshoumaru’s little human ward, Rin, stood just outside the room with a cup in her hand. Her dark eyes looked at them questioningly.

“Rin has some cold water for Sesshoumaru-sama. Can Rin come in?”

Inuyasha was pleased to have the chance to annoy Sesshoumaru even more. He didn’t give the great lord the opportunity to make his own decision.

“Sure, sweetheart. Just be careful not to touch him too hard,” he said as he rose from the bed.

Sesshoumaru glared at him once again, but his gaze softened as he watched the dark haired girl carefully walk to the bed so that not a drop spilled from the cup. She was so small that the massive bed needed for the tall youkai was as high as her chest.

She was a pathetic human, but Sesshoumaru’s healing sword had prompted him to save her life. After taking to following him, Sesshoumaru had decided it was his responsibility to care for her. Since he had given her life back to her, she essentially belonged to him. He had accepted that. What he hadn’t expected was to become fond of the little human, not that he would ever admit that to anyone, much less to himself.

Rin looked helplessly at the big bed in front of her. It would be difficult enough to climb onto it without the cup, but impossible to do so with a full cup of water occupying her hands and, from where she stood, she couldn’t even reach far enough to hand Sesshoumaru the cup.

“Here ya go,” said Inuyasha, gently lifting her to the bed while being careful of his long, sharp claws.

“Thank you Inuyasha-sama,” Rin said, smiling up at him.

“Sesshoumaru-sama? Rin got this right from a cold spring all by herself and already drank some when she was there to make sure it wouldn’t hurt you. So, it’s okay,” she said, holding the cup out to him.

’ _Even though she thought it might be contaminated, she drank it. For me?’_ That little bit of knowledge helped to further his understanding of just how attached Rin had become. _’I must show proper respect for such a sacrifice.’_

Sesshoumaru took the cup from Rin and, slightly raising his head, took a drink.

“Thank you, Rin,” he solemnly told her. “You have shown great courage,” he nodded. _‘Why did I do that? I am becoming soft, weak.’_ Sesshoumaru growled under his breath.

“Oh, does it hurt, Sesshoumaru-sama? Can Rin help?” she asked, concern pouring from her.

How he hated pity. However, she was just a child. What was unexpected was her hand going up to brush his bangs from his face.

“Rin is sorry Sesshoumaru-sama got hurt. But, Inuyasha-sama said you did some very great things. You beat Naraku and saved him and his friends. He said you weren’t as much of a baka as he thought you were.”

“Rin!” Sesshoumaru’s eyes widened. “That word is not appropriate for a lady. You will never speak thus in my presence again,” said Sesshoumaru as his golden gaze gradually narrowed and slid its way to Inuyasha. “You will not use such inappropriate language in the presence of my daughter, Inuyasha.”

“Did I just say ‘ _daughter_ ’?” Sesshoumaru groaned, not realizing he had spoken aloud.

“Yup,” said Inuyasha with a very pleased smile on his face.

‘ _I would never say anything like that. It has to be the injuries. They should have been healed by now though. Strange.’_

“You are going to die, hanyou. I will see to it personally,” muttered Sesshoumaru, covering his eyes with his hand.

‘ _He is driving me insane. Killing him is my first priority once I am able to move.’_

“But Sesshoumaru-sama? Inuyasha took care of you. He loves you.” The innocent declaration left both males completely speechless. “And you love him because you don’t talk to anyone else so much.”

The little girl looked back and forth between them with wide-eyes. “Please don’t fight,” she pleaded with them.

“Okay Rin-chan. We won’t fight. I promise. Now let’s go and let ‘ _Sesshoumaru-sama’_ get some rest,” said Inuyasha while lifting her from the bed.

“As for you, eat!” shot Inuyasha from over his shoulder as he carried Rin from the room. “Kouga, you mind keeping an eye on him so he doesn’t do anything stupid like trying to get out of bed again?”

“Sure thing, Inuyasha.”

It was amazing. With Kagome out of the picture, Inuyasha and Kouga had actually become quite close. Of course, tending to a dangerous, wounded taiyoukai proved to be a bonding experience. Kouga always found his thoughts coming back to Inuyasha anytime he wandered off alone. Perhaps it was time to check in on his pack. Having been gone so long must have made him lonely. At least, that was his reasoning.

‘ _I swear by the seven hells, I am going to kill him.’_ Sesshoumaru frowned for a moment. _‘But what Rin said is true. I have not spoken so many words in the past few months. No, I do not love him. I simply cannot escape the constant irritation of his presence.’_

He almost had himself convinced too.

~*~

“Inuyasha-sama? Can we go pick some flowers for Sesshoumaru-sama?”

Inuyasha thought for a moment, unable to stop himself from picturing Sesshoumaru with flowers woven throughout his hair. A wicked grin spread across his face.

“Sure, Rin! We’ll pick a whole bunch. One basket for you and one basket for me. But we can’t take them to him until he’s asleep. Okay?”

Rin’s eyes lit up as she gave him her brightest smile. _‘Sesshoumaru-sama will be happy that his brother is bringing him a present. Maybe they won’t be so mean to each other.’_

“Oh, Shippou will want to come with us! I’ll go and get him.” With that, Rin took off while Inuyasha went in search of baskets, being sure to grab one for Shippou.

Once the troupe was ready to move out—albeit with fervent protestations from Sesshoumaru’s toad of a servant—Rin led them to her favorite flower garden. She informed them that Sesshoumaru seemed to have a special liking for the yellow poppies. Of course, Inuyasha made certain that they picked a variety of flowers so that there would be something left. Their next stop was a field filled with wild flowers, another place that Sesshoumaru often took her.

“Rin wishes she had claws like yours, Inuyasha-sama. You can pick flowers so much faster!”

“Feh,” Inuyasha shrugged without giving it much thought as he swiped through the stems of a cluster of pink flowers.

All that work had paid off and, by late afternoon, they had arrived back at the castle loaded down with all manner of flowers.

“Let’s go see if your ‘ _father_ ’ is awake, okay? But we need to be quiet,” Inuyasha whispered.

“Okay,” Rin whispered then giggled.

Inuyasha, Rin and Shippou tiptoed up to the door and peeked inside. Well aware of Inuyasha’s pending prank, Jakken’s sense of survival aided him and he slip off to some safe, dark corner. Kouga was sitting in his chair, looking exhausted, when Inuyasha motioned him out into the corridor.

“Is he asleep?” Inuyasha whispered.

“That dumbass better be. I had to fight with him for an hour to keep his mangy ass in bed. He started bleeding all over the place again. We had to change all the bed coverings. I swear I wanted to kick his arrogant ass so bad.”

“Hey! Watch your language around Rin unless you want him to lop off your head,” Inuyasha grinned, “I have something much better than kicking his…behind. Watch this,” he said, waving the baskets in front of Kouga.

“Come on, Rin, but be very quiet. I want you to put flowers in his hair first and then we’ll put the rest all over the bed. He will like the pretty colors and all the pretty smells.”

Rin nodded and motioned for Shippou to follow. Sure enough, Sesshoumaru was dead to the world and slightly snoring.

‘ _How undignified! He must’ve worn himself out fighting with Kouga.’_

Inuyasha had to squelch a snicker. He pulled a lock of silver hair over each of Sesshoumaru’s shoulders, the breathtaking porcelain beauty of his brother not going unnoticed. After shaking his head in annoyance at his own thoughts, he lifted Rin above his brother. With her hands full of flowers, she carefully tucked their stems between the long, silvery strands. Together, they silently filled the bed with the rest then Inuyasha led the children out of the room.

“You kids go play. Kouga, would you keep an eye on him for a few more minutes?”

“Yeah. Whatcha gonna do?”

“Nothin’. I’ll be right back.”

With that, Inuyasha took off at breakneck speed. He cut a swath through the field they had recently visited then rushed back loaded down with even more flowers. Carefully, he arranged them in the various vases he had found sitting about the castle then hauled them to Sesshoumaru’s room.

Kouga waited and watched with incredulity while Inuyasha studiously selected each spot that suited him, arranging the vases in a wide array around the room then followed him back out into the corridor.

“What’s this all about?” he asked, motioning toward the room.

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders and stared at the floor, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment at his odd display. “Just felt like it.”

“I think you like your brother,” Kouga teased, though the accusation rang true.

“Do not!” Inuyasha protested.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Kouga smirked, cocking an eyebrow before all teasing left his tone of voice.

“Why you…” Inuyasha raised a clawed hand and Kouga took off running.

“Too slow, dog breath,” Kouga called out as he sped away. “I’m going home, but I’ll be back!”

Instead of following, Inuyasha went back into the room, grumbling at Kouga’s audacity. Sure, he wanted to see the annoyance on Sesshoumaru’s face when his brother realized he was covered in flowers. Maybe Kouga was right. He had felt compelled to make some gesture of appreciation, even though he wasn’t about to confess that to his baka brother. Inuyasha frowned. There was no sense lying to himself. It wasn’t just appreciation.

‘ _I care for the stupid baka. I guess, even if he hates me, that’s okay.’_

The thought that Sesshoumaru would always hate him sent a twinge through his chest.

As he sat there, sulking in his chair, something unpleasant began to tickle his nose, a scent that was slowly poisoning the room, making its stench known even through the fragrant perfume of the flowers. Inuyasha sniffed and rose from his chair to find the source. Treading lightly so as to not disturb his brother’s sleep, he followed it.

The closer he came to Sesshoumaru, the stronger the scent became until he was leaning over Sesshoumaru’s prone form, sniffing up and down. There it was, under the covers. He no longer cared if he woke the sleeping lord. Inuyasha tore back the sheet and blanket. At each wound, thick black liquid stained Sesshoumaru’s white sleeping garments.

“Sesshoumaru?”

No movement.

“Sesshoumaru.”

No response.

Inuyasha put his nose to his brother’s face. There was breath, but only the barest wisp, and tepid. Sesshoumaru needed warmth.

“Damn Naraku and his poison miasma. You should be immune to that shit, bastard! You should have eaten to stay strong. Damn it to hell. Jakken! Jakken!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	3. Realizations

“Go get the old healer, toad,” ordered Inuyasha.

“Why should I obey you? I only obey my Lord Sesshoumaru’s commands!” croaked the old toad.

“Yeah, and Sesshoumaru’s decided to go all rotting on us,” Inuyasha huffed as he sliced open Sesshoumaru’s bandages with his claws. “If you want a lord to command you, you’d better do what I tell you. Can’t you smell that shit!?” Inuyasha yelled, giving Jakken a nice lump on his head.

Jakken screeched and scampered across the room before sniffing the air, and if his yellow eyes could have bugged out of his pea green skull any further, they would have fallen to the floor. The two foot high imp scurried from the room, waving his arms and grumbling out curses at Naraku.

Inuyasha gazed down at his brother’s face. Sesshoumaru seemed so serene in his sleep. But then again, it was rare that Sesshoumaru didn’t appear serene, or at least cold and unaffected.

‘ _I wish Kouga hadn’t left. We could really use his help now. Even if he is a wimpy wolf.’_

For some reason, Inuyasha felt a little hollow at the loss of the wolf. They had been constant companions and caretakers over the past couple of weeks.

‘ _Just like Naraku to leave some slow working, deadly poison behind to screw everything up. The two people that were most important to me are gone. I wasn’t ready to let them go. I’m not ready to let Sesshoumaru go either. Is it always like this? Will I ever be ready to let someone go?’_ hethought while cleaning away the black, viscous fluid _. ‘No. Life for a half-breed is always fucked up. Maybe the bastard was right all along.’_

‘ _Will I be ready when Sango or Miroku die? I will live a lot longer than they will. Is Shippou going to get killed before I have a chance to raise him? I can’t stand it anymore. I just can’t do it. When this is done, I’m taking Shippou back to Sango and Miroku. I don’t need anyone to make my life more of a nightmare than it already is. They always leave, one way or another. I’d rather be alone. That’s how a hanyou is supposed to live anyway. Eventually, I’ll be alone again. Just like before…no home, no family, no friends.’_

A single tear slid down his cheek. How many centuries before mercy finally killed him? Sent him to be with his friends? Would he live long enough to see Kagome in her time? Being a hanyou with human blood in him, he highly doubted it.

He took great care to be gentle with Sesshoumaru. After all, when his brother healed, they would become enemies once more. He only had this one chance to be close to Sesshoumaru. Then he would make sure to get enough distance between them that he would never be reminded of his longing to be at his brother’s side.

The old healer relieved him of his brooding when she rushed into the room bearing poultices and potions. Inuyasha stepped away from the bed and watched with detachment. At some point, Sesshoumaru’s recovery would force him to leave. Best to begin preparing for it now.

Inuyasha left the room to seek out some private place to cleanse his mind and wash his heart clean of any emotions he might be tempted to wallow in upon his departure.

~*~

Without the jewel shards in his legs, Kouga couldn’t travel as quickly in his bipedal form. He took to his wolf form and raced to check on his pack. He had no reason to believe that they couldn’t handle themselves, but a leader must have some presence and he had been gone way too long. Still, he missed Inuyasha. They had become like brothers. Well, maybe closer than that.

‘ _Well, he was the closest person to Kagome. It’s no wonder I miss him. He hasn’t lost her scent yet. I guess that’s all it is. Yeah, I’m just confused. It’s her that I miss.’_

With that rationalization in place, Kouga felt a weight lift from his shoulders and was able to increase his speed as his concentration on the terrain became more focused.

~*~

“What do you think you are doing?” questioned Sesshoumaru, though he couldn’t say that it wasn’t pleasant having Inuyasha’s fingers grazing his skin.

“So, you’re finally awake and back to your idiot self. I’m changing your bandages…dumb ass,” grumbled Inuyasha.

Well, the flower scheme had gone down the tubes, but it was for the best. Sesshoumaru was in no condition to be agitated.

“What is that horrid scent on these bandages? I will relish taking my revenge on you, half-breed.”

“Well, you’ll just have to wait for the kill. And, that horrid smell is what got rid of Naraku’s poison. You’ve been out since Kouga left four days ago,” Inuyasha said absentmindedly while dressing the wounds.

“You’re healing now. I won’t be around much longer if you’ll just take it easy and eat like I told you to before. I’ll let you have your peace when I’m sure you’re well enough to take care of your oh, so perfect self. It won’t be long. How’s that for motivation?” Inuyasha looked up and gave Sesshoumaru a small, melancholy smile.

Although Sesshoumaru kept his gaze on Inuyasha, his expression was as blank as ever, never giving away the thoughts weaving their way through his mind.

‘ _I will be well enough to kill him soon. Why should he be sad when speaking of leaving? It’s written all over him.’_ Sesshoumaru’s mind seemed to be more keen than it had been while Naraku’s poison was corrupting his blood.

“You rest now. Wouldn’t want to delay your kill. I’ll be back to check on you later.” Inuyasha made his way to the door then looked back. Sesshoumaru was still watching him. Inuyasha gave Sesshoumaru his best smirk. “You’re too much of an asshole to kick the bucket. I should have just left you alone in the first place.”

Sesshoumaru could have sworn he saw the bright reflection of tears along the bottom edge of Inuyasha’s eyes before the hanyou turned and, with slumped shoulders, left him to his thoughts.

”… _I wish I did know why you hate me so much, Sess. I really do. You don’t despise me like you do humans. You reeeeally hate me, like I’ve killed your favorite pet or something. What did I do to make you hate me? I guess it doesn’t really matter, does it, Sess? You’ll get better and then we’ll keep trying to kill each other. Well, I’m not going to try to kill you, just keep you from killing me. Life will go on just like always…won’t it, Sess. Just like always…”_

‘ _Mmm. That was on our way to the village, I suppose. He also sounded saddened at that time. Why? Considering the questions he posed, it seems he has had some feelings for quite some time. How far back does it go? He has never sought me out to do harm. I have been the one to intrude upon his life.’_

Sesshoumaru didn’t much care for being confused, or thoughtful of another being’s condition. It shouldn’t matter to him. Nevertheless, it did. A great deal, it seemed, as he couldn’t refrain from pondering his brother’s behavior. Why he was even bothering to take an interest in Inuyasha’s emotional state was a mystery that he promptly chose to ignore, at least, for the moment. He had never had so many headaches in his life.

Sesshoumaru drifted off into a fitful sleep, visions of an exotic creature with soft, white, triangular ears and brilliant golden eyes following him around like a lost puppy, plaguing his dreams.

“ _Wake up, Sesshoumaru. Time to eat.”_ The voice was unusually soft for the owner. Yet, it had the desired effect, despite the gentle tone.

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to gaze into the same brilliant gold of those orbs, once vibrant with amorous affection, that had haunted his dreams. He examined his half-brother. The expression there was not that much different than it had been on the day when he had ordered the child to leave him be. The only difference was that this expression was accepting, despite the slight droop in the ears. Defeat. Why did Inuyasha feel defeated?

‘ _Was it the disappearance of that priestess of his that has changed him so?’_

“The old healer said to start out with some broth instead of meat. I’m going to feed it to you so you don’t have to strain yourself sitting up. Don’t fight me, alright?” Inuyasha said as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

‘ _Not ‘baka’, ‘asshole’, or ‘bastard’?’_ thought Sesshoumaru with no small bit of wonder.

Unwanted emotions stirred in Sesshoumaru’s heart. He never stopped gazing at Inuyasha as he was fed, the wheels of his mind examining his feelings about his little brother. Had there never been a bit of compassion toward the little half-breed? Ever?

“I’m not going to poison you, if that’s what you are worried about,” Inuyasha said, completely misunderstanding Sesshoumaru’s attention.

“The thought never crossed my mind, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru snorted.

“Aren’t we being civil today? Did you forget I’m a worthless half-breed?” Inuyasha chuckled, but it was laced with a deep well of sadness. “You ate. I’ll send Rin. She’ll let me know if you try to get out of bed, so don’t even think about it.”

Inuyasha made to stand up, but was surprised when caught by a hand on his forearm.

“Inuyasha?”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t help me just because I saved you and your friends.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“No big deal, Sesshoumaru.” Inuyasha gave him a rare smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I would prefer to understand before you leave,” said Sesshoumaru. Though not quite a demand, it was obvious he wouldn’t be denied an answer.

“You’re the only family I have. That should be enough. Now let go of my arm.”

“No.”

Sesshoumaru didn’t understand his own actions. He only knew that he didn’t want Inuyasha to leave just yet.

Nevertheless, Inuyasha wanted to leave more than anything. However, he knew he should prevent Sesshoumaru from becoming irritated. He sighed in resignation and set the bowl on the night stand.

“What do you want, Sesshoumaru?”

“You still want to be with me as you had when you were a pup. Is this not true?”

Sesshoumaru studied Inuyasha’s face expecting a lie.

“Maybe. Never happened, never will. Stop asking questions. The answers don’t matter,” Inuyasha scowled, impatient to leave the irritating questions that delved much too deep.

Inuyasha didn’t volunteer anymore information. He simply sat staring out the window that was located on the opposite wall. Did Sesshoumaru enjoy torturing him?

A long silence stretched out between them before Sesshoumaru spoke.

“I heard your questions when we were on the back of the fire cat and have had time to ponder them. Do you wish for an answer? ” Sesshoumaru waited patiently, giving his brother time to mull it over.

“Would it make any difference?” Inuyasha asked, turning to gaze at his brother.

He really wanted to get out of that room. Sesshoumaru’s attention was slowly killing him. This was not going to help him leave when the time came.

Sesshoumaru cleared his throat and forced his gaze to stay on Inuyasha. He couldn’t understand why he desperately wished to look away. He spoke as though it took everything in him to get the words past his lips.

“I was jealous. You and your mother took father’s attention from me. Such a humiliating emotion. I was angry at father. It is a dishonorable thing that I used you as a convenient target.” He took a shuddering breath and finally let his gaze fall to the hand that was still on Inuyasha’s arm.

“Thank you,” came the softly spoken reply.

To Sesshoumaru’s astonishment, Inuyasha leaned down and gave him a light peck on the cheek, surreptitiously slipping his arm out of Sesshoumaru’s grasp. Then he was gone.

What were these emotions running through his chest? Why had he said anything at all to Inuyasha? His head burned with confusion and dismay. It would be so easy to slip back into a warring relationship with Inuyasha and it would certainly simplify matters. But was that what he really wanted now? Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate an oncoming headache. Fortunately, dreamless sleep soon extinguished his thoughts.

Inuyasha quickly scented Rin’s location and sent her to his brother. He wasted no time finding his room and locking the door behind him. Leaning against the window frame, a breeze shifted his hair from his face while somewhat soothing his aching chest.

‘ _Stupid, fucking, brother!’_

~*~

Racing through the western lands, Kouga found that he was more than anxious to be back in Inuyasha’s company. On the other hand, he could do without Inuyasha’s brother. Hopefully, Sesshoumaru was well enough that he and Inuyasha could soon leave. That was an uplifting thought. It suddenly occurred to Kouga that he might be becoming a bit obsessed with Inuyasha and it gave him pause to wonder if it was actually Kagome that motivated his feelings for Inuyasha.

His disturbing thoughts slowed his pace as the castle walls came into view. Finally, he sat down and stared ahead while trying to decipher the meaning of his feelings and behavior. A patch of red caught his eyes. Squinting, he focused on the lone figure of Inuyasha, leaning against the frame of an open window.

‘ _Inuyasha really doesn’t have a home. Sure, he has friends, but they’re all humans, doing human things. And they will die one day. He will be alone again. He needs a real home. Why should I care though? But…I do._ ’

It wasn’t like Kouga to question his motivations, but if he were to ask Inuyasha to come home with him, he would have to give Inuyasha an acceptable reason. And it simply didn’t sit well with him that he had developed such a strong desire to be with the hanyou. He had never been so compelled to be with Kagome, even after he had claimed her as his woman. It had been too easy to leave her in Inuyasha’s care. Had he trusted the half-breed so much that he now felt a responsibility?

‘ _Whatever it is, I’ll just do what comes to me when I get there, I guess,’_ Kouga thought as he took off in a dead run.

~*~

” _Hey, Sesshoumaru, guess where I found Jakken today? He was hanging by a rope from one of your trees. You should’ve seen it! He was ranting and raving about how he was going to get those two little brats.”_

Through his haze, Sesshoumaru could hear Inuyasha chuckling.

“ _Well, I don’t know if you think it’s funny, but I sure do. I haven’t had this much fun in awhile. About the only fun I ever had was seeing Sango knock the shit out of Miroku for feeling her up…I wonder what you would think is funny? I can’t see anything making you laugh. That’s not good for you, you know. You should laugh every once in awhile. It feels good. Ah, you probably don’t care about that kind of stuff. Maybe you get your kicks trying to kill me. Well, I’ll be more than happy to fight you as soon as you get well. I’m not very patient though so you better hurry it up or I won’t do it. So there. Stupid bastard. I can hear the old healer coming so I’ll leave you alone.”_

Sesshoumaru felt the edge of the bed shift as Inuyasha moved away.

‘ _Why does he speak to me with such familiarity? More important, why do I feel so alone when he leaves? I have never felt alone. It is good to have no ties with others. They all die. You will die, Inuyasha. And why does that thought annoy me? I should choose the time of his death. Dispatch him myself. No other, not even time itself, has that right.’_

Sesshoumaru felt his head being lifted and heard the old healer speak through the murkiness of his thoughts.

“Here. Drink this, Lord Sesshoumaru. I know it makes you groggy, but that is a good thing. You need to rest in order to heal.”

Sesshoumaru reluctantly swallowed as she poured the nasty potion down his throat. Though being helpless was new to him, he was relieved to know that Inuyasha would protect him during his time of weakness. On the plus side, Rin would also be taken care of and no one in his household would dare consider revolting. He was fortunate that Inuyasha was there for him, but wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Well, it felt good, but his mind railed against it. Inuyasha was a half-breed, a half-breed that had interfered, in a less than desirable fashion, in his life as a child. But it was true that none of it was Inuyasha’s doing. He hadn’t asked to be born, much less born a hanyou.

It had to have been the fault of the medicine. His mind was so confused and couldn’t follow one simple train of thought.

‘ _Has he ever really wanted to die, to undo what his parents had done?’_

Sesshoumaru wondered how it would feel to want to die and really couldn’t fathom such pits of despair, though he realized it was a distinct possibility that Inuyasha had gone through such a thing. After all, Inuyasha had had no home. His entire life, up to the past couple of years, had been lived as an unwanted half-breed.

‘ _Why is he still alive? He should be dead. If not by another’s hand, then by his own. What has kept him alive?’_

Sesshoumaru didn’t have the opportunity to ponder that last question as the darkness of sleep crept in, postponing desperately needed answers to a multitude of questions.

~*~

Inuyasha wandered the halls, occasionally fondling the earring Kagome had given him. Letting his thoughts settle on her seemed to help him overcome the sadness prompted by the knowledge that he would soon be leaving. He found himself, once again, back in his room, staring out the window and searching the area for any sign of Kouga. He needed to leave, to get away from Sesshoumaru. It was just too hard to have his brother’s intense gaze on him.

‘ _Why does he stare at me like that? He hasn’t said anything hateful in awhile.’_

Inuyasha fondled the earring again.

‘ _Probably thinks he can stare me away._ ’ Inuyasha chuckled, but the smile soon faded. _‘He’ll be on his feet any day now and I can go. Guess I’ll take Shippou to see Sango and Miroku. He should probably stay there since I don’t have a home for him.’_

“Hey, Inuyasha!”

“Eh? Oh. Hi, runt. What’re you and Rin up to?” he asked Shippou with a frown. The two always seemed to be getting into something.

“Well, I was wondering if you would come with me and Rin to see Sesshoumaru.”

“Nah, he’s fine. Why don’t you two go pester him for me?”

“Why don’t you want to come with us?” Shippou asked.

“Yeah?” asked Rin, peeking in from around the door.

“Feh! We don’t like each other, remember?”

Rin put her arms behind her back and rocked back and forth on her feet. “I think you do. I can tell.”

“Come on, Inuyasha, let’s go see him,” prodded Shippou.

“No.”

“Please?” asked Rin.

“I said ‘no’,” Inuyasha growled.

“Do not growl at Rin,” came a solemn voice from the hall.

“Lord Sesshoumaru! You’re walking!” exclaimed Rin as she hurled herself in his direction, coming to a screeching halt only two inches from his person before blinding him with a smile of one hundred suns.

“Quite observant of you. Now go play and take the fox with you,” Sesshoumaru instructed, a bit unnerved by her constant ability to startle the hell out of him.

“Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru,” beamed Rin. Grabbing Shippou’s hand, she obediently ran out the door.

Sesshoumaru carefully made his way to a large cloth covered, wing-back chair that sat in the corner as Inuyasha turned his face back to the window.

“What do you want, Sesshoumaru?”

Only silence greeted him.

“I know. It’s almost time for me to leave. You can walk, but you’re not strong enough to fight yet. You still can’t defend yourself, so you’ll just have to wait.”

After a long period of silence, Inuyasha turned his gaze to the chair. Sesshoumaru’s head was resting against one of the wings, fast asleep.

“Stupid idiot. You’ll just have to sleep there. I’m not dragging your mangy ass back to bed.”

Inuyasha stared at the slumped figure. The walk must have been very hard on Sesshoumaru. What did he want that was so important? Whatever it was, Inuyasha wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Sesshoumaru wasn’t in any shape to be left alone yet.

“Okay, I won’t drag you all the way back to your bed, so you can have mine.”

It wasn’t that Sesshoumaru was too heavy for Inuyasha to carry. Balancing his tall frame was simply awkward. After pulling back the sheets on his bed, Inuyasha slid one arm beneath Sesshoumaru’s knees and one around his shoulders, lifting him as gently as possible. Once he had Sesshoumaru situated, Inuyasha stared at his brother for a long moment then strolled back to the window.

‘ _Admit it. This feels like home and you don’t want to leave. Stupid.’_

Inuyasha felt tears prick the back of his eyes. _‘I’m an idiot.’_

Kagome had been his home. Where ever she had been, everything was right with the world. Now, there was no other place that had ever felt so much like home as right here, with Sesshoumaru. Gazing over at his bed, he suddenly felt weary and wanted nothing more than to sleep off the sadness.

‘ _It’s big enough. I don’t think Sesshoumaru has any intention of killing me right now.’_

Inuyasha shuffled over to the side of the bed opposite Sesshoumaru, climbed in to lie on his side, and gazed at the refined profile of his brother. He watched the rise and fall of Sesshoumaru’s chest.

The scent of sickness had disappeared, yet Inuyasha worried that it would return. Nothing was impossible where Naraku was concerned. He suspected that the poison in Sesshoumaru’s blood stream had been injected by Naraku’s tentacles. Devious spider. That damn bastard had probably used a shard or some sort of witchcraft in order to make a poison powerful enough to affect Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru was impervious to poison. This was a first. Leave it to Naraku to manage something like this.

“You know, Naraku probably believed that you’d die from that poison? I guess we showed him, huh?”

Inuyasha was surprised when Sesshoumaru turned his head and his eyelids slid partially open.

“You have a habit of speaking to me when I’m asleep,” Sesshoumaru slowly drawled in his stupor. His lips remained parted while his eyes drifted shut.

“Keh, it’s the only time I get a decent conversation from you, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha grinned. There was no answer. “See what I mean?”

Inuyasha sighed as he gazed at Sesshoumaru. He would miss their ‘conversations’, he mused, as his mind drifted back to the inevitability of his departure. Suddenly, he was overcome with the urge to touch Sesshoumaru in more than just a caretaker’s capacity. Tentatively, he reached out and caressed Sesshoumaru’s cheek with the pads of his fingers then let his palm rest against the side of Sesshoumaru’s face.

“For a cold sonofabitch, you’re awfully pretty. I think I’m going to miss you.”

He was startled by Sesshoumaru’s hand appearing around his wrist and tugged at the iron grip, believing he was about to be burned by green acid. But, Sesshoumaru only held Inuyasha’s hand to his face as his hooded eyes slid open for a fraction of a second.

“Stay…,” whispered Sesshoumaru.

“Are you awake?” Inuyasha scowled at Sesshoumaru. He didn’t get an answer as Sesshoumaru’s hand slipped away.

“Stupid bastard,” snorted Inuyasha as he rolled over onto his back. “You shouldn’t say shit you don’t mean.” Pain shot through his chest at the thought that Sesshoumaru was just tormenting him or saying something else altogether.

‘ _I hate you. And I’m leaving just as soon as I get the chance.’_

Tears silently trailed from Inuyasha’s eyes as he drifted off to sleep.

~*~

Rin and Shippou peeked around the door facing.

“Now?” asked Shippou with a mischievous grin.

“Yeah,” whispered Rin.

They both crept into the room bearing armloads of flowers, crayons and drawing parchment.

~*~

Inuyasha woke to the sound of chuckling and the fragrant smell of too many flowers. Through a slit in one eye, he saw Sesshoumaru facing him, still asleep. There were flowers braided throughout Sesshoumaru’s hair. He looked like a fairy. A very pretty fairy. Inuyasha let his gaze travel down the length of Sesshoumaru’s outline and found the bed covered in flowers.

More snickering brought his attention to the chair that Sesshoumaru had been sleeping in. Sitting with his right ankle propped on his left knee, one arm draped over a wing of the chair, and the other on the arm of the chair, was Kouga, obviously amused. Inuyasha rose up and rubbed his eyes. Flowers fell from his hair and he looked over, narrowing his eyes at Kouga.

“Hey, don’t look at me!” he said, pointing to the floor at Rin and Shippou, who were drawing portraits of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, sleeping in a bed of flowers.

“You’re awake, Inuyasha!” chirped Shippou. “Look!” he exclaimed, proudly holding up one of his pictures.

“Yeah. Now be quiet, runt. You’ll wake up Sesshoumaru,” scowled Inuyasha.

Shippou’s eyebrows rose as he nodded his head and plopped back down beside Rin. He looked at her current drawing and blushed at what he saw, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru embracing one another.

‘ _Flowers…and salt? Too soft to be on the ground.’_

Sesshoumaru sniffed before slitting his eyes open to see the empty pillow beside him. The bed shook, bringing his attention to the red clad figure rising from the bed to shoo everyone out of the room and couldn’t help but overhear the conversation outside the door.

“Sooo, what’s the great lord doing in your bed, dog turd?” Kouga raised a mocking eyebrow at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha didn’t take the bait. “The stupid baka thought he was strong enough to be up runnin’ around. Dunno why he decided to come to my room, but he fell asleep in the chair as soon as he sat down. I wasn’t about to carry him all the way back to his bed.”

“Yeah, but you were there with him,” Kouga said with a grin that looked more vicious than playful.

“Where else do you want me to sleep, you wimpy wolf? His bed? No thanks.”

“There are other beds, you know. But you climbed in there with him. I still say you like him,” said Kouga, pressing the issue.

“I’m not in the mood, Kouga. What do you want?”

‘ _What do I want?’_ thought Kouga, shifting his weight to his other foot.

“Nothin’. Just don’t get too comfortable. You’ll be leaving soon.”

“I know that.”

“Look, you don’t have a home. Thought I’d ask if you want to come live with my pack.”

That was a surprise. Leaving dominated most of his thoughts lately. However, going home with Kouga had never entered his mind. He wasn’t sure if he could handle being around a crowded area, even if he wanted to. At least, here he wasn’t bothered by having too many people around. It was quiet for the most part. He didn’t have to live with Sango and Miroku, just check in on them every once in awhile. Old Kaede would need looking after too.

He’d never realized it before, but he liked his freedom even if it did mean being cold and hungry every now and then. That wouldn’t be any kind of life for Shippou. Demons pretty much left the human villages alone. Shippou would be better off in one of them, but Kouga’s den? He couldn’t imagine that.

“I dunno if I could stand the smell of your tribe, Kouga,” Inuyasha said, giving an exaggerated sigh and quirking a smile.

“Just think about it. You might change your mind,” said Kouga, patting him on the back.

“I will,” Inuyasha said, wondering if he would change his mind.

Everything was so different since the jewel had been completed and Kagome had gone back to her time. He hadn’t quite gotten accustomed to the change. It was just so odd. He reached up and caressed the earring. Kouga didn’t miss it.

“She’s gone, Inuyasha.”

“I know. It’s stupid, but this place feels like home and I don’t really want to leave.”

Inuyasha wasn’t sure why he had confided in Kouga. Since Kagome’s departure, he had felt as though there were a hole in his soul and nothing appeared to be able to fill it. He had been attempting to prepare himself to wander the wilds as he had before the priestesses had taken a shine to him. But this, here…it helped to ease some of that emptiness.

“Accept it, mutt-face. Sesshoumaru’s gonna try to kill you as soon as he has the strength. You won’t have to deal with that around my pack.”

Inuyasha was shocked when Kouga reached out and squeezed his arm.

“Lay off, flea bag,” he said, slapping Kouga’s hand away.

“Geeze, a person tries to be nice and you go all shitty.” Kouga himself wasn’t quite certain why he had made the gesture, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

“Whatever. I’m going for walk.” With that said, Inuyasha turned on his heel and headed for the gardens, Kouga trailing behind him.

“Stop following me,” Inuyasha growled.

“I ain’t got anything better to do, mutt-face.”

“Whatever,” said Inuyasha, though somewhat pleased that he wouldn’t be completely alone. He had, after all, been anxious for Kouga’s return. Maybe a little company wouldn’t be so bad.

“You sure I can’t talk you into coming back with me?” asked Kouga, strolling alongside Inuyasha. “I…would really like for you to come.”

“You are out of your mind, but I appreciate the offer.” Inuyasha was a bit surprised at Kouga’s persistence, and it was nice to be wanted. However, Kouga had always been persistent with his courting of Kagome despite her rebuffs. This might not be so different.

Kouga stepped in front of Inuyasha and turned to stop the hanyou, but he had been too quick and Inuyasha walked right into him. Kouga grabbed Inuyasha’s upper arms to steady him, but didn’t let go once Inuyasha had his balance back.

Inuyasha stared at him in surprise.

“Kouga?”

“Please, Inuyasha. You can at least try it out for awhile and leave if you decide it’s not what you want.”

“What’s gotten into you, Kouga?”

Kouga just stared down at him before leaning in to plant a barely there kiss on Inuyasha’s lips. Both were surprised at Kouga’s actions. Inuyasha raised his fingers to his lips while staring up at Kouga, too stunned for words.

“Come with me. I promise you won’t be alone,” Kouga whispered.

“I…uh. You kissed me,” Inuyasha stammered.

“Yeah, and I’ll do it again if you’ll let me.”

‘ _It felt good_ , _but…’_

Inuyasha dropped his hand and Kouga took advantage, planting another kiss on Inuyasha’s lips. Only this one wasn’t so chaste.

He wrapped his arms around Inuyasha in a tight embrace as though Inuyasha would run from him, but was pleasantly surprised when Inuyasha hesitantly returned the embrace. It was a few moments before Inuyasha began to give in to the kiss.

‘ _What am I doing? Am I that lonely?’_ Inuyasha thought to himself. Confusion warred with desire, but curiosity got the best of him and he gave in to the wolf.

Reality crept in and Inuyasha pulled away. “I don’t know what just happened, Kouga, but I think I need to go back inside and look in on Sesshoumaru.”

Kouga smiled. He hadn’t gotten socked in the jaw. That was a good sign.

~*~

Rin looked at Shippou from behind a tree. “This isn’t good,” she whispered.

“I know. We’ll have to do something about it,” answered Shippou.

“Yeah. Maybe Jakken can help,” Rin replied.

“We better think up something fast or Inuyasha might take off with Kouga,” Rin said, frowning.

Both sat in silence for some time. “I know! We’ll write Inuyasha notes and pretend they are from Sesshoumaru and then we’ll write notes for Sesshoumaru and pretend they are from Inuyasha,” exclaimed Rin.

“That’s a great idea, Rin! But, we might need to do more than that.”

“We’ll think something up.”

~*~

Sesshoumaru stood on his balcony, observing the intimate moment between the hanyou and wolf. A possessive growl rolled off his lips, surprising him. He wasn’t near as annoyed to find his body, as well as Inuyasha’s bed, littered with flowers. It hadn’t been the first time Rin had been so bold as to do something like that. He frequently found his bath filled with flower petals. Still, this little stunt had been disconcerting, more so than the small annoyance of Rin’s previous escapades.

‘ _It is not my concern,’_ he assured himself and turned to make his way back into his room, but his body was not willing to cooperate.

“This is unacceptable,” he informed his body before slumping to the ground and leaning back against the concrete railing.

The sun beat down upon him as though mocking his predicament while a sheen of sweat broke out on his body as the weakness became more pronounced.

‘ _Extremely unacceptable,_ ’ he thought as his chin dropped to his chest and blackness began to creep into his vision, blocking out his view of the floor.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing out there, you idiot!?” exclaimed Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru’s vision had already blackened to non-existence and he found himself equally devoid of the ability to speak.

“Help me out here, Kouga.”

To Sesshoumaru, it all seemed like background noise slowly being overcome by a soft buzzing sound, but he could feel strong arms lifting and jostling him. Though he was thankful to be out of the sun and in the cool comfort of his bed, it was disquieting to be found as he was, weak and helpless. Once he regained his voice, he took out his frustration on the one person he shouldn’t have.

“You know that I will kill you once I am able?” he rasped.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve made that clear too many times, you fucking asshole,” fumed Inuyasha. “Maybe I should take Kouga up on his offer. I don’t know why I should think you’d care. Heartless sonofabitch.”

Sesshoumaru growled at Inuyasha’s threat to leave with Kouga. “You will not leave with that wolf.”

Kouga raised an eyebrow. Why would Sesshoumaru care? It didn’t really matter since Inuyasha was considering his request. He couldn’t hold back the small smile that crept across his face.

“It’s none of your business now, is it? Go to sleep. You’re getting on my nerves. Kouga, would you make sure this jerk stays in bed? I can’t stand to be around him right now.”

“No prob, mutt-face,” answered Kouga. The smile disappeared from his face when he noticed that Inuyasha’s expression didn’t only hold anger, but pain as well.

Once Inuyasha had left the room, Kouga turned his attention to Sesshoumaru.

“You know he cares about you. Why do you have to treat him like shit?”

Sesshoumaru didn’t bother to open his eyes. “Why did you kiss him, wolf?”

Kouga was shocked at the sudden change in subject, but rose to the occasion. “What’s it to you? You treat him like shit. You don’t want him around and I’ll take him off your hands. Isn’t that enough?”

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to glare at Kouga. “It’s bad enough that he is a half-breed, but you would defile him further.”

“Like I said, what’s it to you?”

“My father’s blood runs through his veins. I will not allow you to defile that.”

“According to you, he’s already defiled by the blood of a dirty human. So. Answer my question. What’s it to you?”

Sesshoumaru growled at the persistent wolf. “Regardless, you are not good enough for him.”

“Then who is? Do you see any other Inu-youkai running around? I’m the strongest of my pack. No one else is as good for him as I am, unless you want him,” he added as a joke, but realized he might have hit the mark.

“I’ll be damned! You want him, don’t you?”

“No,” Sesshoumaru growled.

But somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if that wasn’t true.

“No, I do not want him,” he whispered in protest before slipping into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	4. Between Love and Hate

Someone once said that there is a thin line between love and hate…

” _Aw, come on, Sess. I love you. Don’t you love me too?” Wide golden eyes stared up at the pure-bred inu-youkai._

“ _Do. Not. Call me ‘Sess’,” Sesshoumaru scowled at the little boy._

“ _But…”_

“ _No!”_

“ _You don’t love me? I know you do. I see you watch me play,” whimpered the little creature gifted with white tufted puppy ears on top of his head and with absurdly wide, expressive golden eyes._

_Sesshoumaru sighed at his persistent younger sibling. “What is it you want, half-breed?”_

“ _Say you love me too?” mumbled the half-breed child as his golden orbs peered up through a lacy curtain of black eyelashes._

“ _You are a fool. Flee or die,” growled Sesshoumaru in his most menacing voice while burning the child with narrowed amber eyes._

_Half-breed born child, Inuyasha, hid his smirk as he darted around the tall regal figure of Sesshoumaru. Strands of white hair flew through the air as the wind from deadly claws swiped at his back and ruffled his tiny triangular ears. Behind the pitter-patter of little feet giggles bubbled down the corridor. Claws once again swiped the air above his ears._

“ _Aaaaah! Sesshoumaru! What do you think you’re doing!?” screamed one of the maid servants. “Your father will hear about this!”_

_Both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru skidded to a halt, Inuyasha nearly falling over and Sesshoumaru gliding to a graceful erect figure that was the perfect picture of complacency. They watched in tense silence as the servant approached. Inuyasha’s eyes grew wide at the dismay on the old hardened face._

“ _We were just playing! Sess would never hurt me. Right, Sess?” Inuyasha’s gaze flicked between the two. The last thing he wanted to do was get his brother into trouble._

_Steely, gray eyes met the cool amber gaze of a silent and aloof Sesshoumaru. The servant scooped up Inuyasha in one swift motion and whipped around. Back stiff as board, she strode off in the opposite direction._

“ _Bye, Sess! I’ll come back later and we can play some more!” grinned Inuyasha over the shoulder of his current savior and nemesis._

_Sesshoumaru lifted his nose and snorted. Turning away and clasping his hands behind his back, he made his dismissal clear._

“ _I love you, Sessy!” called Inuyasha._

‘ _Brat,’ thought Sesshoumaru as a ghost of a smile haunted his face…_

“ _I came back just like I said I would, Sess,” Inuyasha informed Sesshoumaru while his sunshine eyes beamed up at the eldest._

“ _Hm.”_

“ _Do you love me, Sess?” asked Inuyasha, barely keeping the grin from his face._

“ _Do you wish to die today?”_

“ _You love me. Just say it,” demanded the child._

“ _Die!” Sesshoumaru responded, unable to keep the smirk from his lips._

_In a blur of red and white, the chase was on…_

~*~

The morning’s mist had long since evaporated from the silky petals of ‘Rin’s’ favorite flowers. Sesshoumaru allowed the back of his hand to sweep against the soft petals of a yellow rose. While gazing at the color that mirrored the gold of Inuyasha’s eyes, a scowl marred his pristine features.

‘ _He must be planning his departure by now. Times have changed. We are no longer children, yet not quite enemies_ ,’ thought Sesshoumaru as he debated whether or not to invite his brother to continue residing in his home. It was a confusing matter. While desirous of his brother’s presence, it presented him with problems that he would prefer to avoid.

Sesshoumaru knew that once he watched the red clad figure walk out of the gate, there would be little chance for reconciliation. What did he really want? He meandered through the pleasing aroma of his garden. When the afternoon sun became unpleasantly warm, he made his way back to his chambers and was glad for the solitude it offered.

He needed to make a decision before the door of opportunity slammed shut in his face. Indecion was unfamiliar and disconcerting.

‘ _If only I had more time. Time has never been on our side, little brother.’’_

~*~

“Do you think it’ll work, Rin?” Shippou whined.

“Of course! And since we had Jakken take it to their rooms, they’ll never think we did it,” whispered Rin.

“I don’t know. Sesshoumaru is so smart and Inuyasha gets mad about everything.”

“It’ll be alright, Shippou. What could go wrong?” asked Rin, trying to reassure her friend.

What could go wrong? A good question indeed.

Both little instigators fidgeted as they played games to pass the time until they could watch their magnificent plan succeed.

~*~

‘ _What is this?’_ Sesshoumaru thought as he lifted from his divan a rolled piece of parchment tied with a red satin bow. He opened the scroll and read the simple lines.

‘ _Sesshoumaru,_

_Please meet me at the picnic area by the brook after dinner. I don’t want to leave._

_Love,_

_Inuyasha’_

“Love? How odd,” Sesshoumaru thought aloud.

Considering Inuyasha’s brash attitude and misunderstanding of Sesshoumaru’s actions, Sesshoumaru was suspicious of the note’s origins. However, with no writings from Inuyasha to use as a comparison, he was left with no alternative but to honor the request.

~*~

“Huh?” Inuyasha opened the scroll he found lying on his bed.

‘ _Inuyasha,_

_Meet me in at the picnic area by the brook after dinner. I don’t want you to leave._

_Love,_

_Sesshoumaru’_

“Yeah right. Guess I didn’t make it out in time not to have to battle with the stupid jerk. But, this is so low, just as low as presenting the noh-mother as my own mother. Bastard,” grumbled Inuyasha.

‘ _And this hurts even more_.’

~*~

Between stealing glances at Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow while he observed Rin and Shippou practically breathing down their food.

“Inuyasha, I believe that your detestable eating habits have adversely affected ‘our children’,” Sesshoumaru commented, attempting to get a rise out of his unusually silent brother. Perhaps it was Inuyasha who had written the note.

As though he had not heard Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha continued to uncharacteristically play with his food. His stomach was tied in knots and his anger with Sesshoumaru buzzed through his entire body. Even his hair follicles seemed to be causing temporary deafness. He didn’t want to look at Sesshoumaru, afraid that he would be too tempted to kill his brother right where he bastard sat. However, innocent eyes were not meant to see such things.

‘ _Just wait ‘til I get your mangy ass outsid_ e,’ he repeated over and over to himself. Scowling at his helpless food while he mutilated it, he took a small amount of comfort in the fact that things were back to normal. This time, he would finally put Sesshoumaru out of his own misery.

‘ _You will die today, bastard, if it’s that last thing I ever do.’_

Kouga poked Inuyasha in his side. “What’s up, mutt?”

Inuyasha shook his head and, under the table, cracked the knuckles of his left hand. Kouga took that as a sign to leave it alone. Nevertheless, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t ponder the source of Inuyasha’s unrest.

Shippou and Rin were the first to leave the table, quickly scurrying outside. Little did the room’s occupants suspect that the children would soon be masking their scent by bathing their entire bodies with mud from the bottom of the brook then hiding under the brush to await the victims of their well-intended machinations.

“Hey guys, I’ve had a long day. Think I’m gonna take a nap. See ya,” Kouga said, yawning for effect.

“I’m outta here too,” said Inuyasha, quickly rising to his feet, nearly knocking over his chair in the process. Avoiding eye contact with Sesshoumaru, he beat a hasty retreat. “Later, Kouga.”

Sesshoumaru crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. Everyone had been acting so strange, except Kouga. It made him somewhat uncomfortable. This was his home and he would not tolerate the behavior of his guests affecting him in such manner. It was not in his character to take others into consideration. It was time to put a stop to unwelcome thoughts.

‘ _I believe I will take my swords with me.’_

~*~

Some distance away from the picnic area, two oddly shaped little piles of mud lay drying beneath the overgrowth. One had the prettiest pair of emerald eyes while the other sported fathomless dark, brown orbs. The first victim to enter their line of sight was Inuyasha. As was customary, he was muttering curses under his breath.

“I told you he would be mad,” whispered Shippou.

“He won’t stay mad. You’ll see,” said Rin with absolute confidence.

When they heard Inuyasha growl, both children became as silent as possible.

“Just what are you playing at, Sesshoumaru?” rumbled Inuyasha low in his chest and drawing his sword, Tetsusaiga.

“I might ask you the same, little brother,” said Sesshoumaru with his usual bored expression as he drew, not his sword, but a parchment from his haori, allowing the scroll to roll open.

“What are you talkin’ about?” Inuyasha huffed indignantly.

“For your inspection,” scowled Sesshoumaru, walking forward and flinging the parchment at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha caught the scroll with his left hand and read it while keeping Sesshoumaru in his sights.

“Hey! I got one just like this! I had nothing to do with it. Are you saying this wasn’t from you?” Inuyasha asked, pulling out his own version and holding it out to Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru quickly skimmed the note.

“It seems that we have been duped, little brother.”

“Yeah, well…” Inuyasha trailed off as he sheathed his sword. “Don’t worry about it. I’m leaving tonight and taking Shippou with me. I’m sure he had something to do with this.”

Sesshoumaru stood silent, not quite sure how to respond. This was the perfect opportunity, but he had no words. His mind seemed to have decided to take a vacation. As Inuyasha brushed by him, he impulsively reached out and grabbed Inuyasha’s arm.

Inuyasha looked up wide-eyed. Why did it seem that everyone seemed to want to touch him lately?

“What?”

Sesshoumaru dug around in his brain.

“Just say it,” Sesshoumaru said, repeating Inuyasha’s childhood words.

“Huh?” asked Inuyasha, thoroughly confused.

“Don’t you remember, little brother?”

“Uh, what are you talking about, Sess?”

“You call me _‘Sess’_ now, just as you did when we were children.”

“That was a friggin’ hundred years ago!”

“You remember, do you not?” coaxed Sesshoumaru.

“Not everything,” Inuyasha admitted.

Sesshoumaru sighed. Inuyasha was not going to make this easy for him.

“You are welcome to stay here as long as you wish,” he said, but quickly added, “Simply refrain from being a constant irritant.” For the sake of his dignity, he had to retain some superiority.

“Aw, Sess loves me!” Inuyasha exclaimed in mock surprise.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. “Do you wish to die today?”

“Just say it!” Inuyasha’s memory clicked. “Sess,” he whispered, staring at his brother in wonderment.

“Brat,” Sesshoumaru smirked.

Inuyasha made the bold move of stepping directly in front of his brother and reaching up a hand to trace his fingers along Sesshoumaru’s cheekbones.

“I can hear it…even if you don’t say it,” Inuyasha murmured. “I thought…you hated me.”

“Father’s sword…” Sesshoumaru’s lips thinned, “I was angry.”

“You mean this rusty old thing?” Inuyasha teased, slapping the hilt of Tetsusaiga.

Sesshoumaru’s claws dug into the palm of his hand. “It should have been mine,” he growled under his breath.

“I could share it with you. Oh, I forgot, it doesn’t like you very much,” Inuyasha cajoled.

“Do not test me, Inuyasha.”

“Okay. I shouldn’t have said it, but you really are very pretty when you’re angry,” Inuyasha smirked.

Amber eyes narrowed at the hanyou. Golden eyes stared sheepishly up through a curtain of black eyelashes.

“Just say it, Sess,” whispered Inuyasha trying to control the muscles tempting to spread a grin across his face.

Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow. “Do you wish to die today?”

Both jumped away and drew their swords.

“Oh no! They’re going to fight!” Shippou would have screamed had Rin not slapped her hand over his mouth.

“Shhhh!”

“Mmrrlllmmlllrr!”

“Just watch, Shippou!” whispered Rin as she wrapped her arm around Shippou’s neck in a choke hold.

Swords clashed, sending lightening and thunder into the surrounding air.

“Mmmrrchllll!!”

“They’re not trying to kill each other. Be quiet.”

Tokijin arced downward and was met by the upsweep of Tetsusaiga. Sesshoumaru flicked his wrist, circling his blade beneath Tetsusaiga then yanked upward, sending Inuyasha’s sword into flight then rushed in for the kill.

“lllmmmeeeengooo!”

“Shh!”

Inuyasha was still watching his sword sail through the air when he felt the brunt of Sesshoumaru’s force and was knocked to the ground. He hit with a thud and a sudden expulsion of air.

“As you can see, little brother, you are no match for me. And it has always been thus,” announced Sesshoumaru as he stood over Inuyasha, sheathing his sword.

“Ah, you just got lucky,” grunted Inuyasha as he peeled his back from the ground.

He looked up to see a pale hand outstretched in offering. Inuyasha eyed the hand suspiciously, contemplating the danger. He gazed at the purple stripes on Sesshoumaru’s wrists as the hand advanced toward him.

“Take my hand, Inuyasha. I mean you no harm,” Sesshoumaru reassured him.

“iumkay?” Shippou mumbled.

“Yeah, everything is fine,” said Rin, taking her hand from Shippou’s mouth.

“You’re strong for a human,” Shippou commented.

“Watch,” admonished Rin.

As soon as Inuyasha’s hand was in Sesshoumaru’s, an iron grip yanked him to his feet, causing him to stumble into Sesshoumaru’s armor plated chest.

“Sorry…”

His air supply was cut off in the steel embrace of his brother, but he was just as quickly released. The feel of that warm embrace clung to him like a heavy coat, blanketing his thoughts, not that he knew what to think.

‘ _Did Sesshoumaru just…hug me?’_

Inuyasha gathered himself and allowed his gaze to trail up his brother’s figure. They were standing close, close enough that Inuyasha could feel and smell Sesshoumaru’s breath. Sesshoumaru was watching him, seeming as though he were studying Inuyasha, waiting. Something was behind those amber orbs, some emotion of which Inuyasha could only guess the meaning. It was far from the frigid cold that Inuyasha had come to expect. He felt as though Sesshoumaru were intentionally giving him a peek at what lay beneath the surface of those carefully controlled, refined features. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Sesshoumaru was supposed to fight him, send him on his way, anything but this.

Inuyasha felt himself becoming overwhelmed. Even as children, Sesshoumaru had never shown him true affection. And though he was almost certain that Sesshoumaru had come to accept him, up to the point that he had claimed Tetsusaiga, Sesshoumaru had always distanced himself.

Sesshoumaru was a puzzle that Inuyasha really hadn’t put much effort into piecing together. Today revealed a piece of the puzzle that just didn’t seem to fit. Sesshoumaru did not allow himself to be affected by much, especially by humans and half-breeds. But he was affected, and he was allowing it to show. This was a rare offering. A thing to be prized, to be grasped and cherished, to never be faded by time. But what did he have to give in return?

“Sesshoumaru…thank you,” Inuyasha murmured softly as he rose up on his tiptoes and brushed his cheek against Sesshoumaru’s.

Sesshoumaru stood silently, still as a statue. He could not, could never, bring himself to be so weak as to speak the words he wanted so much to say. Inuyasha should be thanked for saving his life, for drawing him out when they were children…Then he growled, remembering that it was Inuyasha who had taken his left arm along with the sword that should have been his.

The growl resonated against Inuyasha’s cheek and he immediately withdrew. Unable to hide the pain of rejection, he quickly turned and strode away only to be halted by a hand on his shoulder.

“Stay here, with me, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru softly murmured from behind.

“Give me one good reason why I should, Sesshoumaru,” said Inuyasha without turning to face his brother.

Oh, how to express what he wanted without sounding weak. Sesshoumaru steeled himself to do what he must.

“Do you really want me to ‘ _Just say_ _it_ ’? Is that what you need to hear?”

“Yes. I have to know for sure, Sesshoumaru.” Inuyasha turned and stared up at his brother with conviction.

“I will do this once, and only for you. You will never speak of it. Agreed?” demanded the most powerful youkai in the land.

“Agreed.”

Sesshoumaru leaned down until his lips were brushing Inuyasha’s right ear, his whisper barely audible.

“I love you, too, Inuyasha.”

The words twisted his stomach into knots. It didn’t matter that he had no belief in such niceties. Sesshoumaru knew it was the right thing to do. Saying them the only way he would be able to keep his brother by his side. And he desperately wanted his brother.

Once again, to Sesshoumaru’s surprise, Inuyasha lifted his face, resting his lips on Sesshoumaru’s cheek.

“Show me, Sess. Make me believe you,” Inuyasha whispered.

It was a challenge to prove that he wasn’t a liar. How impudent. Nevertheless, he knew Inuyasha had every reason to doubt him, so he made the only concession he knew would to be enough. Carefully, so as not to lose the touch of Inuyasha’s cheek, he turned his face until their lips met. To his surprise, a tiny whine hummed against his lips, drawing him in, making him want to taste Inuyasha. And he did. Tentatively, and oh so gently, he touched Inuyasha’s bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Hot breath rushed across his sensitive skin as Inuyasha parted his lips. Was it an invitation? Did it matter?

Sesshoumaru knew what he wanted and took full advantage, slipping his tongue into Inuyasha’s mouth, tenderly exploring the heated, wet warmth. When Inuyasha deepened the kiss instead of drawing away in disgust, he slid his arm around the small of Inuyasha’s back and proceeded to lavish attention on those sweet succulent lips, nibbling and suckling. Warmth invaded his chest and began a creeping slide to his groin.

This was not what Sesshoumaru had expected or imagined, yet it pleased him beyond words. Had he always had this secret desire? Is this why he fought so hard to keep a wall of hatred between himself and his half-breed brother? He decided that this was not the time to ponder such things. This was a time to revel in something so miraculous that it left him breathless with fulfillment.

Stunned, shocked, surprised, afraid, confused, warmed and comforted all blended together to take Inuyasha’s breath away.

‘ _How long…how long has he wanted me like this? Why didn’t I see it? I’m not alone anymore…not alone.’_ His thoughts melted away as he slid his arms up to encircled Sesshoumaru’s neck. Secure, comfort, home.

“Ahem.” The deep, mock clearing from the throat of Kouga rudely intruded on their passionate moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	5. Who is Worthy?

Sesshoumaru glared at the wolf and got as good as he gave.

“You don’t deserve him,” Kouga growled.

“Who are you to make such a determination?” Sesshoumaru asked, raising a brow.

“I’m his friend. In all the years I’ve known him, you haven’t been a brother, much less a friend. Just how many times have you tried to kill him?” Kouga asked as his hands balled into fists at his side. If anyone deserved Inuyasha’s trust and affection, it was him. They had been through a lot in their fight against Naraku and had come out friends, despite Naraku’s trickery. They had fought over the same woman, but never with killing intent. Perhaps that had brought them even closer.

“Do you believe for one moment that I want a carrier of my father’s blood living in a den of wolves? It is unacceptable.” Sesshoumaru could barely keep his face from contorting into a grimace.

“You never cared before. It’s too late now,” Kouga heatedly replied.

“Stop talking like I’m not here. Neither one of you own me. I make my own decisions,” Inuyasha growled. “You both are stupid idiots. Kouga’s got a point. I’ve never been good enough for you before. Why now? Why are both of you acting so strange? It’s fucking weird. Did someone put a spell on you? All the sudden, both of you want me around. Too much too soon, or is it ‘ _too little too late’_?”

Inuyasha lowered his eyes and shook his head. “Fuck both of you,” he muttered then stalked away, leaving Sesshoumaru and Kouga to glare at each other.

“You have not the power to be worthy of him,” snapped Sesshoumaru.

“And you didn’t want him until, what, a few minutes ago?” hissed Kouga. “What’s your game? Gonna lock him up in a dungeon or somethin’?”

“Do not insult me, wolf. And do not change the subject. You haven’t the strength to provide a proper environment. He needs challenge, comfort…”

“Love? Is that what you were going to say? Like he could ever get that from you! Or have you forgotten that he’s just a filthy hanyou?”

Sesshoumaru nearly winced at having his own words thrown in his face. But the wolf was correct, as was the questioning of his motives. Even he was not quite prepared for his change of heart. He still battled that part of himself that warred against Inuyasha’s presence. In the end, he decided to ignore Kouga’s statement. Inuyasha was too important to second guess himself.

“Wolf, you are meddling in affairs that do not concern you. Were it not for your status as Inuyasha’s…companion, I would have long ago disposed of you,” Sesshoumaru stated with such frigidity that Kouga could feel the ice creeping down his spine.

“After all your years of tormenting Inuyasha, you have no right to demand his favor now!” Kouga could barely restrain the rising level of his voice. The excruciating amount of pain that Sesshoumaru had caused Inuyasha was enough to drive him to kill the bastard standing in front of him.

“You simply have not accepted that I have already accomplished as much.”

“We’ll just see about that,” Kouga sneered.

“Do you wish to challenge me?” asked Sesshoumaru, amused by the wolf’s audacity.

That made Kouga pause. _‘Now that’s not a bad idea.’_

“Sure, you’re on. Think you’re up to it?”

‘ _Mangy dog,’_ Kouga thought to himself. He was too intelligent to not keep it to himself. Keeping his smart mouth in check had been very draining.

“Your arrogance will one day be the death of you.” The wolf’s audacity to challenge him was unbelievable. His power far exceeded Kouga’s. That was one fact weighing in his favor. However, it was the more intimate details of a relationship, the small things that would give him difficulty.

“My arrogance!? You should look at your own reflection sometime! Do we have a deal or not?” Kouga’s ability to keep his tongue in check was quickly waning.

Sesshoumaru said nothing, merely nodded and casually strode away while Kouga planned his courting of his one time rival.

‘ _How could Inuyasha possibly want to stay with that cold bastard? And how can I convince him to leave when it’s obvious that he is getting attached to this place? It is kinda nice here with servants and all. And he really wants his brother’s acceptance. My plan better be pretty good.’_

‘ _What did he like about the people in his pack? They were gentle for the most part. Not weak because they were a big part of defeating Naraku. That makes them loyal too. They shared in the responsibilities. Kagome always brought them sweets. Inuyasha liked the ones that were always really salty or sweet and he always smelled like those noodles._

‘ _Oh man, they took a lot of baths too. Okay, so maybe I should be nice to him, get him food like what Kagome’s tasted like…and take a bath. If I hunted, he would see just how good we could eat. Not that there is anything he couldn’t get here, but I’ll kill it with my own hands. Sesshoumaru’s bound to have all different kinds of food, but he didn’t use his own strength to get it. Yeah, maybe killing on the bastard’s land means that it belongs to the mutt, but presentation can make a world of difference. Tonight we feast!_ ’

With that thought in mind, Kouga took off to find Inuyasha and invite him to a campfire dinner beneath the stars. He just knew that Inuyasha would be impressed with his hunting skills. _‘Sesshoumaru might as well give up now.’_

~*~

Rin and Shippou crept out of their hiding place and headed back.

“Well, it would have worked if Kouga hadn’t shown up, but at least Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were nice to each other,” asserted Rin. Her cup was always half full.

“It could’ve been a lot worse though. Sesshoumaru could’ve killed Inuyasha. That was so scary.” Shippou shivered as images of a blood bath flashed through his mind.

“We’re just going to have to get them together again. I know! You could distract Kouga while I get Lord Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha together. Now I just have to figure out how to do it,” Rin schemed. “Okay, you could pretend that you want to go live with Kouga.”

“Ew!”

Rin didn’t skip a beat. “And ask him all kinds of questions about how wolves live. You could keep him talking for a long time. Especially if you ask him about all the enemies he’s defeated. He would probably like talking about that.”

“I think I can do that,” Shippou nodded.

“Now, how can I get them together?” Rin pondered. “We already used the note thing. Oh no! They know that we did it! What do you think they’ll do to us!? I’ve never gone against my Lord’s wishes!”

“Probably nothing. Inuyasha would be embarrassed that he actually even believed it. I don’t know about Sesshoumaru,” Shippou said.

“He will think it was foolish and won’t say a word, I hope,” said Rin, crossing her fingers that Sesshoumaru would behave as always. “Maybe he’ll blame it all on you and he wouldn’t hurt you because of Inuyasha. He would never hurt me. But...he might make me stay here while he travels,” she said dejectedly. She never wanted to be without her lord. He was her hero to the end.

“You better be right about that, Rin,” Shippou said sternly. It was bad enough that he would have to tiptoe around Inuyasha, much less dodge the Lord of the Western Lands.

“Fine, but how do I get them together?”

“I don’t know, Rin. We’d better hurry though. Sesshoumaru is almost well enough that he won’t need Inuyasha anymore.”

“You’re right.”

The two walked on in silence, racking their brains for a solution. Neither one of them wanted to be separated as they had no peers to keep them company. Both children had the sneaking suspicion that their parents would be a lot happier being together. In fact, they knew it to be an undeniable truth.

“Rin, what is the meaning of this?” came a deep resounding voice from behind.

Both children jumped, startled at the sudden appearance of Sesshoumaru.

“Oh, hi, Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin said with a bright and cheerful smile, all the while hoping that her earlier conversation with Shippou had not been overheard.

“You will bathe immediately.” Sesshoumaru glanced at Shippou. “Go to Inuyasha and bathe yourself elsewhere, fox,” he commanded.

“Ye..yes sir,” Shippou stuttered.

Both children scurried off with their hearts in their throats.

Sesshoumaru went back to pondering the dilemma of Inuyasha, which he had been in the process of doing before he had been so rudely interrupted by two blobs of shuffling clay.

‘ _Why were they in such a state of filth?’_ Sesshoumaru wondered then promptly shoved the question away, deigning it to be unimportant. _‘How will I be able to convince Inuyasha that I truly do wish for his presence? He still doubts me. One kiss and a few words are not enough. It is understandable.’_

Sesshoumaru sighed. This was not going to be an easily won battle, but he had always been the victor and so he would be again. Of that, he had no doubt. What was the most frustrating was that he had never been in a position to court the friendship…or affections of anyone and hadn’t the slightest idea of how to go about such a task. It was an alien thing. A very uncomfortable position in which to find one’s self.

‘ _What does Inuyasha want? What does he need? Of course he has no home. Even Kouga can provide that. I can provide for every physical need. That is the crux. What he needs is emotional and that is simply too much to ask.’_

But the great Sesshoumaru would not be deterred from his goal. If it was necessary, he would re-train himself. And it was that thought that brought on a sudden fit of anger. “Why should I, Sesshoumaru, re-order my life and lower myself for anyone!? Unacceptable. The hanyou must die. Problem solved,” the frustrated inu-youkai growled. Confusion was a weakness and the blame lay on the half-breed’s shoulders. Never in all of his life had he been brought so low.

Sesshoumaru rolled around in his mind all the different methods he could use to execute Inuyasha. There was Tokijin; a powerful blast, the strength of which he had muted in the past. He imagined Inuyasha’s body as it blew apart into tiny chunks. Too messy, and to his mind, probably very painful. Then there was the energy whip. He imagined watching Inuyasha’s head fall from his shoulders and felt his stomach turn. No, though it would be quick and painless, he didn’t want to see his brother decapitated. Acid. Now that definitely would be painful.

‘ _Why does the thought of him being in pain or being mutilated have any weight in this decision?’_

The past fought him, once again rearing its ugly head. _”Just say it, Sess.” Brilliant golden eyes peered up at him through that fall of black eyelashes…_

‘ _I love you too, Inuyasha.’ The child was beautiful. Too beautiful for his own good. Too innocent and too tempting._

Even more so now.

‘ _Yes, Inuyasha must die,’_ Sesshoumaru concluded. _‘Why had I been so adamant as to fight for him when everything he has done has made me weak?’_

Sesshoumaru lifted his hand and watched green noxious fumes dissipate into the air. No liquid _. ‘Under the proper conditions, it could be fairly painless. Yes…’_

He reached out and cupped a pink tea rose in his hand and watched it wilt away under his touch until only dried brown petals remained. He gave it a light tap and watched as the brown dried and wrinkled petals came unglued and drifted to the ground.

‘ _Tonight, little brother.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	6. Last Rites

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

Shippou skipped into the room and nearly fell when he saw Inuyasha stuffing their few meager belongings, most of which were Shippou’s, into the yellow backpack that Kagome had left for them.

“Wha…What are you doing, Inuyasha?” Shippou asked as Inuyasha carefully tucked Shippou’s crayons and drawings into the bag.

“It’s time to leave,” Inuyasha said flatly.

“But…but, why?” Shippou whined, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, runt! Just do what I tell you.” Inuyasha couldn’t even look Shippou in the eye.

“Inuyasha?” Shippou knew that this would be a long-shot, but he had to try.

“What!?”

“Do you remember what tonight is?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Can you smell my scent?” Shippou asked in a small voice.

“Of course, I…” Inuyasha sniffed experimentally. “Dammit! Not now,” he groaned.

“You don’t want to be out in the woods on a moonless night. Not if you don’t have to,” Shippou said, knowing how stubborn the hanyou could be.

Inuyasha plopped down on the floor. “How could I forget? Shit, shit, shit.”

‘ _If he ever hated me before, he would certainly hate the scent of me being human. Why did it have to be tonight?’_ Inuyasha’s mind complained uselessly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Sesshoumaru. Just lock the door and he’ll never know.”

“He’ll smell that I’m human, even with the door closed. That’s another good reason to leave.”

“No! I’ll tell Rin to keep him busy!” Shippou offered, realizing that his plan had just backfired. “You know she can do it. He’ll do almost anything she asks.” Shippou mentally patted himself on the back. _‘Nice save.’_

Inuyasha thought for a moment. _‘It could work. There’s no reason to be out there while I’m human if I can be in here, especially since I won’t be able to protect Shippou as well while in my human form.’_

“You think Rin could handle it, runt?”

“Sure! I’ll go tell her to keep Sesshoumaru busy when the sun starts going down and to keep him away from you. Okay?”

“Go for it, Shippou,” Inuyasha said, giving Shippou a slight nod.

Shippou’s heart leapt. They weren’t going anywhere tonight. That gave him and Rin a few more hours to put their plan into action. He ran off at top speed to sniff out his new best friend.

Inuyasha walked over to his window while fondling Kagome’s earring, something that was becoming a habit lately. Shadows had begun to fall into the courtyard as the sun descended toward the western horizon.

‘ _Four or five hours. Damn! Why tonight?’_

The clear tinkling of Rin’s cheerful laughter drew Inuyasha away from his thoughts. From the window, he watched as she ran up to Sesshoumaru, who was reclining beneath a tree. She had taken hold of Sesshoumaru’s hand and tugged on it. Instead of pushing her away, Sesshoumaru stood and followed her, or rather, allowed his person to be pulled along.

‘ _The girl certainly has a way with people’_ , he thought to himself. _‘How could he have hated me so much, but do just about anything for a little human girl? But the question really is; does he still hate me?’_

Inuyasha sighed. This was going to be one of the longest nights that he had ever spent as a human. It was bad enough that he had so many conflicting thoughts and emotions as his normal hanyou self. His humanity would only soften him further, leaving him so much more vulnerable to his feelings concerning his current predicament.

“Hey, Inuyasha! Wanna have a campout dinner with me this evening?” Kouga asked through the door.

“Nah. Come on in, Kouga.” Inuyasha was glad for the reprieve from his thoughts.

“I never thought you’d pass up a meal. I’m gonna get some boar, rabbit, fish and lots of other stuff.” Kouga stood, feet apart and arms crossed, expecting a change in attitude. Inuyasha could very well kick him out the door. The young man could be unpredictable.

“Tonight’s the moonless night and Sesshoumaru doesn’t know. I’d take you up on it, but I gotta stay put,” Inuyasha sighed, staring at his large clawed hands that would soon shrink to human size without the power to protect.

“Oh, well, tomorrow night then?”

“Me and Shippou will be leaving tomorrow morning,” muttered Inuyasha. “This shit with you and Sesshoumaru has got me all confused and pissed off. I need some space.”

All the air rushed out of Kouga’s chest. “What!? And just when were you going to tell me?” he yelled after regaining some of his composure.

“Shut the fuck up, Kouga! You don’t own me. Sesshoumaru doesn’t own me. I came here to make sure he healed. It’s done and I’m leaving,” Inuyasha retorted.

Kouga growled low in his throat then suddenly stopped, remembering his goal. The further away he could get Inuyasha, the better. “You’re right.”

“Eh?” Inuyasha said incredulously. Kouga never gave in to anyone, least of all him.

“Okay, but will you at least have breakfast with me before you leave. You gotta eat somethin’ and I can give you some to take with you. You know, I could even travel with you part of the way.”

Inuyasha thought for a minute. “Yeah, I guess Shippou should eat too.”

That wasn’t in Kouga’s plans. “He can eat it with Rin. I wanna talk to you about things little ears shouldn’t overhear.” It was an excuse to be alone with Inuyasha and he knew it. But hey, whatever worked.

“We can talk just as well now, Kouga,” Inuyasha said, raising an eyebrow _. ‘Just what is wimpy wolf up to?’_

“Nah, I ain’t got time. I’ll see ya later. You gonna eat with Mr. High and Mighty before the sun sets?”

“Probably. Though I really don’t want to,” said Inuyasha, frowning at the thought of having to be in the same room with both Sesshoumaru and Kouga at the same time.

“Well, I’ll see you then,” Kouga said cheerfully and raced off with a smile, a smile that faded once he was out the door _. ‘Dammit! Stupid mutt.’_

“Fuck them! I’ll eat with them, but it doesn’t mean I have to talk to them,” Inuyasha muttered under his breath.

~*~

Rin and Shippou chattered as they ate, occasionally glancing at the males, who were being rather silent. Only Rin could tell that Sesshoumaru was sniffing the air as though looking for something. It was the slight sudden rise and fall of his chest that gave him away.

Shippou had explained to Rin that Inuyasha changed forms on the moonless night and relayed to her that Sesshoumaru should be kept away, so the two ate slowly, hoping to steal Sesshoumaru away once he had finished his meal. Shippou was in charge of seeing to it that Inuyasha had an excuse to go the opposite direction of Rin and Sesshoumaru. She hoped it wasn’t too late to keep Sesshoumaru in the dark.

“Hey, Sesshoumaru, did Inuyasha tell you that he plans to leave tomorrow?” Kouga asked, hoping that Sesshoumaru would join him in insisting that Inuyasha stay for awhile longer. At least until he could convince the hanyou to come with him. He was disappointed however.

“It is none of my concern,” the Lord said with such chilly undertones that Kouga was sure his food was going to freeze right in front of him.

Inuyasha didn’t bother looking up from his plate. Just as well. He had no business here any longer and might as well get back to his usual routine; fight off the rogue demons and humans that would threaten his survival. Not a bad alternative to being stressed out over such stupid, confusing issues he was being shoved into here.

Yeah, he had wanted a relationship with his brother, but he couldn’t trust the ice king. One minute Sesshoumaru was being warm, and the next, an iceberg. How many times had Sesshoumaru tried to kill him? He couldn’t count them all on one hand. Why should he expect anything different now?

And what about Kouga? The wolf was just too cocky. Being around him for any length of time would ruin any type of friendship they had developed. Nope. Inuyasha was better off alone. It wasn’t new and he could easily deal with it.

The faint scent of a human drifted up Sesshoumaru’s nostrils and it wasn’t Rin. It had Sesshoumaru puzzled, but he wasn’t about to demean himself by going around and sniffing everyone in the room. If it weren’t for the aroma of the food, he could have easily determined who the scent was coming from.

That wasn’t the most important thing at the moment though. Inuyasha leaving without his consent or knowledge was most disturbing. Sure, he was going to kill the hanyou, but such disrespect was not acceptable in the least. What he wasn’t willing to admit or recognize was that it hurt. That was as good a reason as any to kill Inuyasha. With these feelings overtaking him, he could not present himself to the world as the conqueror he was. Mooning over some half-breed would mean a lot of exasperating killing to confirm his power—not that he wouldn’t enjoy re-asserting his power while licking blood from his claws. It would be a challenge he would relish. He just didn’t like feeling weak; or perhaps, feeling as though Inuyasha exerted some type of power over him. That was more than unacceptable. No one would wield any power over the great lord, least of all, the one who already had it. Yes, his brother must die his mind insisted.

But his heart just wasn’t in it.

Shippou had already finished his meal and could tell that if he was going to wait on Inuyasha, they would never get out of the dining hall.

“Um, Inuyasha?”

“What do you want now, runt?” Inuyasha asked, not even bothering to look at Shippou.

“I was wondering if you could help me with something up in the room.”

“Sure,” Inuyasha responded, grateful that he wouldn’t feel the need to make excuses for hiding out.

Sesshoumaru glanced at his brother, surprised that Inuyasha had acquiesced so easily.

It seemed as though none of the adults were planning on finishing their meal, so Rin took it upon herself to put in motion her part of the plan.

“Lord Sesshoumaru?”

“Yes, Rin,” he responded, rather quietly she noted.

“Would you take me out to watch the fireflies tonight?” she asked oh so innocently.

After what seemed to Rin to be forever, Sesshoumaru responded with a simple ‘ _Yes_ ’. She smiled at him and giggled. Giving him her brightest smile, she danced a little circle, singing, “Fireflies, fireflies! Lord Sesshoumaru is taking me to see the fireflies!”

“Rin,” Sesshoumaru said flatly.

“Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru?”

“Be quiet.”

“Of course!” she replied, plopping back down, still grinning ear to ear. Not only had she achieved her goal, but she was going to have the pleasure of watching a light show.

‘ _Guess it’s just me tonight. Maybe I’ll spend a little time with Inuyasha before it gets dark,’_ Kouga thought.

~*~

As the sky grew orange with the setting sun, Sesshoumaru sat in his study observing small wisps of green mist floating through the room. His eyes were tinted with the mildest of crimson as a gentle breath escaped his lips. Another puff of green mist joined the other wraiths. He sat back in his chair, disgusted with his plan.

If only there was another way. However, his brother was being stubborn. The hanyou wouldn’t give him what he wanted. If he couldn’t have the half-breed, no one would. And, hadn’t he always sworn that no one other than himself was allowed to kill Inuyasha?

Back in his room, Inuyasha leaned against the window, the typical irritation, loneliness and sense of loss already beginning to rise within him while he watched the sun sliding behind the mountain peaks. His claws began their painful retraction and his ears ached with the transformation. He watched in disgust while the tresses of his thick, white mane faded to black.

Every month, he had to go through this shit. One would think he would be accustomed to it by now. However, being hanyou for all but one day out of the month made his weak human form a burden. He fisted his hands at his sides, swearing under his breath.

‘ _Pathetic, weak human,’_ his mind ranted. _‘I’m glad that Shippou is with Rin. Sesshoumaru won’t let anything happen to him,’_ he thought with a relieved sigh.

He rubbed his temples before changing into a robe and sitting in the chair he had dragged to the window. It was going to be a long night. Morning couldn’t come soon enough. Taking care of a wounded youkai lord, the stress of all his confusing emotions, and the fact that he knew he was safe must have been the culprits. He rarely slept when he was human, but tonight he was asleep almost the instant he rested his head on the wing of the chair.

A fatal mistake.

~*~

Sesshoumaru drifted silently down the corridor. That human scent was wafting around him again. Something seemed familiar about it and his nostrils flared as he came closer to Inuyasha’s room. The scent of sweet human blood seeped from the edges of the doorframe. Sesshoumaru slipped into the room as silent as a ghost. His eyes were met with a vision of beauty, bathed in the soft light of the stars.

‘ _So this is his human night,’_ thought Sesshoumaru in wonder at the peaceful sleeping figure. Then he steeled himself. _‘All the better. He will be dead before he can even smell the scent of my poison.’_

Sesshoumaru slipped down in front of Inuyasha, staring up at the pale flesh, the fall of thick black eyelashes and raven hair, its strands highlighted with many colors. A vision indeed. Sesshoumaru found his resolve weakening as ran his fingers through the tresses. Without a thought, he parted the robe and stared at the lithe yet muscular figure.

Inuyasha must have been in a very deep sleep to have the movement go unnoticed. Thinking that the man child probably wasn’t comfortable, Sesshoumaru snaked his arm around Inuyasha’s waist and beneath his legs, much like he would Rin when carrying her. He tipped Inuyasha into his chest before lifting him and gently carried him to the bed. It didn’t even occur to the great lord that Inuyasha’s comfort should not be an issue at this point.

Once he had Inuyasha in the bed, Inuyasha mumbled and rolled to his belly, giving Sesshoumaru a spectacular view of Inuyasha’s firm round ass when the robe slid away. In his fascination, Sesshoumaru tugged the sleeves from Inuyasha’s arms and discarded the robe onto the floor. For a few moments, he sat on the edge of the bed, studying the body stretched out before him. It wasn’t long before Sesshoumaru found his hand skating down the center of Inuyasha’s back and swirling over the relaxed, soft cheeks of his ass. Inuyasha was soft and pliable beneath caressing hands.

Sesshoumaru’s gut burned with desire and guilt as his hands trailed along Inuyasha’s thighs. When he brought his hands up to feel the dormant muscles in Inuyasha’s back, he felt tension under his fingertips and a the change in breathing, which let him know that Inuyasha was awake. Well, if the boy was going to pretend to be asleep, Sesshoumaru would play along. He would take what he wanted then give them both peace. Gently rising from the bed, Sesshoumaru casually undressed, and silently laid his clothing and swords on the floor, then moved back to straddle Inuyasha.

Inuyasha felt light, warm kisses moving smoothly over the blades of his shoulder then down his spine. It sent sparks of fire, as well as a slithering chill of fear through his abdomen. He had to fight to control his breathing when Sesshoumaru’s mouth reached the swell of his ass. When Sesshoumaru’s lips and tongue warmed the skin of his globes, his eyes clenched shut and he had to fight to keep his muscles lax.

‘ _He was so cold at dinner. Why is he doing this now?’_ Damn, but it felt good. No one had ever shown him, Inuyasha, such physical attention. Then he remembered _. ‘I’m human! Oh, shit! What the fuck!?’_

Before his mind could process anything else, he had let a groan escape his lips and his body quivered. There was a warm, wet suckling behind his right knee. He tried to stop himself, but his traitorous body would not obey. Involuntarily, his back made the smallest of arches.

‘ _Oh!_ ’ Inuyasha thought in surprise as he felt his erection shift against the slick satin sheets. _‘Damn.’_

He felt Sesshoumaru’s hand clamp down around his left ankle before he was subjected to the same torture behind his left knee. Warmth shot up his leg, pooled in his groin, then seeped into his chest. Control was lost as his hips ground into the bed and he lost his battle as small pants rushed over his lips.

“Gods, Sesshoumaru!” he exclaimed when the suckling, along with kisses and licks, trailed up his inner thighs with Sesshoumaru spreading his legs as he went.

Inuyasha whimpered when Sesshoumaru reached the apex of his thighs and flicked his tongue out to tease the magic inch between Inuyasha’s balls and the tight ring guarding his passage. The satin becoming wet and stained with the evidence of his arousal. While Sesshoumaru’s relentless tongue traveled the same path over and over again, he fisted his hands into the sheets, moaned into his pillow, and tried to contain the fire burning through his veins

Inuyasha was going to die. He just knew it. Wouldn’t he be surprised to find out just how right he was?

It was a delicious feeling to have the power to control the clenching and relaxing of Inuyasha’s body beneath him. When Inuyasha moaned, Sesshoumaru felt a pride that he didn’t quite understand. What he did know was that he craved more. He wanted Inuyasha to writhe beneath him, to call out his name. So as not to startle Inuyasha, millimeter by millimeter, each upward trail of Sesshoumaru’s tongue slid up over Inuyasha’s tight portal until he had Inuyasha trembling. He heard the muffled plea for more as Inuyasha begged into his pillow.

“Sess, please, please...gods, don’t stop!” Inuyasha exclaimed, still hiding his embarrassment in his pillow.

It was a glorious and satisfying song that Sesshoumaru intended to hear many times over before he was through with Inuyasha. Inuyasha was writhing, his hips rising and falling with Sesshoumaru’s attentions. It was perfect. While his tongue prodded and eased the tightness of Inuyasha’s small ring, Sesshoumaru slid his hand between Inuyasha and the bed, gripping Inuyasha’s swollen, throbbing shaft.

“Oh, gods,” Inuyasha nearly sobbed when Sesshoumaru lathed the valley between the globes of his ass while Sesshoumaru’s hand stroked his aching cock.

“Dammit, Sess. I’m going to…”

“No, you are not,” Sesshoumaru interrupted as he quickly withdrew.

“Fuck!” Inuyasha swore as he curled into a ball on his side. “You can’t leave me like this.”

“I won’t,” Sesshoumaru murmured then rolled Inuyasha to his back.

Sesshoumaru sat on his knees between Inuyasha’s thighs, his thick arousal very evident. A generous amount of precum drained down the shaft, reflecting the meager light from the stars. Even without his demon sight, Inuyasha could see the perfection before him.

The refined features of Sesshoumaru’s porcelain-skinned face with its striking markings spoke of his royal heritage. With the well-defined muscles of his broad chest and shadows marking the definition of his abdomen, there was no doubt that he was very powerful. In his current state, Inuyasha would not stand a chance against Sesshoumaru. Not that fighting was what he had in mind at the moment.

A sharp intake of breath nearly choked Inuyasha as Sesshoumaru reached out to soothe his heaving chest with soft caresses. At the same time, Sesshoumaru lowered his face and blew softly along the line of Inuyasha’s erection. Inuyasha hissed at the unwelcome breeze. But it seemed to do the trick. He was calming, the painful aching in his groin receding. Sesshoumaru sat back up and took a deep breath as he stared into mahogany eyes that even still held a brilliance that his own could never achieve.

“You are beautiful,” Sesshoumaru whispered before he could catch himself. He had to hold back a snarl at his own lack of power to control himself. And it was Inuyasha who had stolen that power.

Inuyasha just stared at him, not having a clue about how to respond. It seemed that Sesshoumaru didn’t expect one either. Having a bit more control over his senses now, Inuyasha thought that he should show his gratitude for the seeming affection that Sesshoumaru was giving him. He clamped his legs around Sesshoumaru’s and he pulled himself up.

Sesshoumaru continued to gaze at him without protest and Inuyasha broke free of Sesshoumaru’s eyes when he bent down and licked the tip of Sesshoumaru’s cock. It was so hard, wet, smooth, and radiated heat. He was surprised that the taste was clean with a bit of a salty flavor.

Sesshoumaru shivered at the heat of Inuyasha’s tongue, caressing and swirling around the tip of his erection. A wave of heated shock wracked Sesshoumaru’s body when Inuyasha sank his mouth down around his aching member and Sesshoumaru thrust upward without thinking, nearly gagging Inuyasha. Nevertheless, Inuyasha didn’t let that stop him. He sucked harder, pulling Sesshoumaru deeper into his mouth, working his throat muscles for optimum friction…and Sesshoumaru felt himself tensing with need, nearly to the point of pain.

It occurred to Inuyasha that, because he did have two hands, he could easily enhance Sesshoumaru’s pleasure. He wrapped the fingers of his left hand around the base of Sesshoumaru’s shaft and dipped his other beneath the bulges at the base, carefully giving a soft squeeze. To his delight, Sesshoumaru shuddered and let out a resonating guttural groan. It thrilled Inuyasha to his toes and he felt the skin of his own arousal tighten when more hot blood thickened it.

Inuyasha quickened his onslaught, using his tongue even more and drawing responses from Sesshoumaru that made his flesh so hot with desire that he was sure his skin would peel away. His could feel his cheeks and ears burning crimson with the fire that threatened to overtake him. He was surprised when Sesshoumaru rolled forward without breaking their connection.

Now above Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru carefully thrust into the hot warmth of Inuyasha’s mouth and felt Inuyasha’s throat contract with the swallowing of clear salty fluid.

“It feels…so good, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru rasped.

Assassinating the hanyou was the last thing on Sesshoumaru’s mind. No, Inuyasha was driving him mad with desire. Sesshoumaru’s body craved completion as though it had been empty and deprived for centuries. Maybe that wasn’t far from the truth.

Sesshoumaru stood on a high wire between the fulfillment he needed and his desire to remain free of the constraints that emotions would demand of him. Both seemed necessary, but he believed that only one could be attained. He would worry about that later, when his world came crashing down like a felled forest.

Sesshoumaru’s barely audible grunts drove Inuyasha’s desire for more, more of Sesshoumaru. Just as he thought that his sensitive, aching body could take no more of touch, Sesshoumaru drew away, panting heavily. A slight sheen of sweat covered the luscious lord. Inuyasha gazed up into lust-ridden, pink-tinged, amber eyes. It scalded his soul; years of rejection and now this. Though he wanted it, maybe even needed it, it was slowly killing him, pain shooting through his chest much like a sword casually running him through. But if this was the only chance he would ever have, he would take it, pain and all.

The ice king wasn’t blind. He could see the shadows behind Inuyasha’s eyes, the tightness in the surrounding skin. But he also saw the resignation wash it away. Inuyasha smiled softly and it broke his heart. There would be no more brilliant, golden eyes and no more of those rare smiles come dawn. His fingertips found their way to Inuyasha’s cheek and tenderly brushed away stray strands of raven hair.

Inuyasha’s heart slammed against his chest as he watched Sesshoumaru’s gaze go to the fingers brushing against his cheeks. For the first time, Sesshoumaru’s expression softened, and it was for him.

‘ _How can he…What is he doing?’_ Inuyasha thought with incredulity. The surprise didn’t lessen the pleasure and he closed his eyes to savor the feel of Sesshoumaru’s loving hand.

“Sesshoumaru,” he whispered softly as he tipped his face into Sesshoumaru’s palm.

Sesshoumaru shoved down the slithering burn of regret rising in his throat. Inuyasha would get everything he ever wanted, if only for tonight. Everything. He balanced himself on his one hand and slid sensuously down Inuyasha’s body, the tip of his arousal trailing his warm nectar. There was no hesitation when he took Inuyasha into his mouth. He was fast and unforgiving. Inuyasha’s back arched before his hips jerked forward into the wet heat of Sesshoumaru’s mouth. Sesshoumaru overwhelmed him with his tongue swirling, mouth sucking, and throat squeezing and gliding along Inuyasha’s aching flesh.

“Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha gasped with eyes wide. “Fuck!”

“I fully intend to do just that,” Sesshoumaru plainly stated as he let loose of Inuyasha to trail his tongue down to the tightened sacs below Inuyasha’s shaft.

Inuyasha raised his knees and arched his hips as Sesshoumaru lathed his tongue everywhere it seemed; the crease of the juncture of his thighs and groin, the delicate sac at the bottom of his shaft, and down that magical line to the tight ring that would soon be stretched to its limit. Sesshoumaru’s tongue was magical in its ability to bring Inuyasha close to the brink. He felt as though he would melt from the heat of his desire.

Everything was burning out of control as Sesshoumaru tortured him to his limits. Just when he thought he could take no more, Sesshoumaru relented, leaving a dazed and panting Inuyasha groaning at the loss. Sesshoumaru pulled himself up over Inuyasha and pressed his fingers to Inuyasha’s lips.

“Wet them, Inuyasha,” he murmured, though he wondered if he had not lubricated Inuyasha enough already.

Inuyasha obeyed and with closed eyes sucked Sesshoumaru’s fingers into his mouth. It was much longer than needed before Sesshoumaru withdrew his fingers. A new wave of desire had flooded Sesshoumaru when Inuyasha’s tongue had raked the length of them. Sparks flew all through him as that tongue had wrapped itself around his fingers, helping to create an intense suction. In order to gather more moisture, he had to press down to break the suction before withdrawing his fingers. The trembling of his own body surprised him, but he didn’t let it stop him as he slid his fingers between Inuyasha’s thighs. Without giving Inuyasha warning, he scraped his fangs down the line of Inuyasha’s throat while his middle finger invaded Inuyasha’s body.

“Ah!” Inuyasha exclaimed in surprise and discomfort, his body jerking at the intrusion.

“Shhh,” Sesshoumaru whispered, his breath tickling Inuyasha’s ears.

“Sess,” Inuyasha complained.

Inuyasha found his lips trapped by Sesshoumaru’s while the invading finger withdrew then thrust back in. His mouth opened at the startling invasion and he suddenly found Sesshoumaru’s tongue caressing his own with gentle, and could he say it, tender care? His throat constricted at the thought of Sesshoumaru _‘loving’_ him. In the end, he decided to accept it for what it appeared to be and wrapped his arms around Sesshoumaru’s waist, returning the kiss with all the passion he possessed.

Imagining what was to come, Sesshoumaru groaned his pleasure and thrust two fingers into Inuyasha’s tight passage. Slightly curling his fingers, he thrust again. Something that he had done caused Inuyasha to tear his lips away and to cry out.

“Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru asked, clearly concerned that he had hurt his lover.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” Inuyasha panted.

Taking that as an indication that he had not hurt Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru repeated the action, pleased to find Inuyasha writhing, arching and bucking, all the while calling out his name.

Inuyasha’s stomach was slicked with a puddle of his own precum as his neglected cock was tease by his own skin. The chill left by the blistering flames that had already burned out of control was raking along his flesh while he bucked up onto Sesshoumaru’s fingers. When he landed back down on the bed and prepared for another thrust, his body stilled at the shock of being suddenly empty.

“Wha…”

Sesshoumaru stole his breath away with nibbles along his jaw. Before he realized what had happened, Sesshoumaru had positioned himself to enter Inuyasha’s small human frame.

“Sess,” Inuyasha whimpered.

“I will take care, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru murmured. After seeing the fear in the depths of those warm mahogany eyes, he ran his lips over the sensitive skin of Inuyasha’s throat. “Shhh.” Sesshoumaru brushed his lips over Inuyasha’s eyelids before resting them a breath away from Inuyasha’s lips. His tongue snaked out and ran along Inuyasha’s quivering bottom lip.

Inuyasha found himself captured in a passionate yet tender kiss while Sesshoumaru nudged against his tight entrance. He tried to hold back the whine as tears threatened his eyes when Sesshoumaru shoved past the ring guarding his passage, but was unsuccessful. His human fingernails dug into Sesshoumaru’s shoulders, biting at the skin as he felt Sesshoumaru’s lips thin before the soft flesh pulled away.

No matter what Sesshoumaru did, he knew he was going to hurt Inuyasha, and after the tip of his cock had just barely passed the first obstacle to those hot tight walls, he found it near impossible not to take the human hard and fast. His need to be inside of Inuyasha was driving him to the brink of insanity. His whole body ached with the desire. Taking a deep breath, he rested his forehead against Inuyasha’s and tried to relax.

“Forgive me,” he whispered, taking Inuyasha’s lips into his mouth and pressing carefully into the squirming body that was trying to reject him.

Inuyasha felt himself torn apart. Pain seared up his spine and Inuyasha sobbed into Sesshoumaru’s mouth. It was little comfort when Sesshoumaru nuzzled his face against Inuyasha’s cheek.

It felt as though Inuyasha’s sobs were squeezing his heart to death and Sesshoumaru didn’t know what to do, so he lay there, his cock almost painfully squeezed by the hot confines of Inuyasha’s body. The smell of blood hit his nose and he grimaced at the sweet tang of it. What could he do to lessen the pain? Nothing. Distracting Inuyasha was the only comfort he could give him.

Inuyasha swallowed when he felt Sesshoumaru’s lips caressing his temple. It was obvious what Sesshoumaru was doing and Inuyasha appreciated his effort, so he tried to relax and ease Sesshoumaru’s concern for him. The pain was unavoidable, and hopefully, temporary. He moved experimentally and Sesshoumaru groaned. It didn’t hurt as much as it had. He carefully shifted upward.

“Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru gasped.

Inuyasha would have smiled were it not for the discomfort, but he was trying his best to cooperate. He wanted this just as much, if not more than Sesshoumaru and a little, well, a lot of pain was not going to stop him. Finding it frustrating that Sesshoumaru was not moving, Inuyasha brought his hands down to Sesshoumaru’s hips and nudged them upward, feeling the friction of Sesshoumaru’s length barely withdrawing. Though Sesshoumaru rose up a bit, he still refused to move.

‘ _He’s trying so hard not to hurt me. He has to care about how I feel, even if it’s just a little bit,’_ Inuyasha thought. Even through his discomfort, Inuyasha smiled to himself. The smile soon disappeared when he raised his hips and felt Sesshoumaru’s length bury itself within him. _‘That does not exactly feel good,’_ he thought. That opinion was short-lived when Sesshoumaru decided to slowly withdraw and angled his hips upward when he slid back in.

“Nnng!” Inuyasha squeezed back the strangled scream of pleasure drifted over his lips when Sesshoumaru hit that mysterious place that he had with his fingers.

Darkness threatened Sesshoumaru’s vision while Inuyasha’s tight ring gripped him when he pulled out then pushed himself back in. The flesh of his hard, throbbing shaft glided against slick hot walls. Through savoring the friction, he hadn’t even noticed Inuyasha’s response. It was taking much restraint to reign in his desire to take his brother hard and fast, causing his body to tremble. In a long shudder, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He pulled out and thrust in again, but with more force. It was a relief when Inuyasha thrashed and bucked beneath him. Taking that as a sign that Inuyasha was ready for the full brunt of his desire, Sesshoumaru began a dance of long rhythmic strokes.

Inuyasha’s body picked up the rhythm and moved in time with him. It was a slow and careful dance, born of tenderness and affection that tamed the wild desire to consume each other. Sparks of fiery heat lit along Sesshoumaru’s skin, gradually increasing to scorching proportions. The smaller body was so tight that he couldn’t completely control himself. With the increase in the speed of his thrusts, he felt as though his flesh was beginning to melt into an all-consuming, raging inferno and he could feel himself losing control.

Inuyasha wanted to climb inside of Sesshoumaru’s heated flesh, and if he could, he would have. As it was, he had to content himself with as much skin to skin contact as possible. He wrapped his legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist and his arms around Sesshoumaru’s neck, arching his body upward to slide together in that thin layer of sweat. Clutching Sesshoumaru to him, he matched Sesshoumaru stroke for stroke, grinding his aching member into the abdomen above him as Sesshoumaru’s thrusts became more and more urgent. He had never felt the freedom of giving himself over to the control of another when he followed Sesshoumaru’s movements. From the slow gentle rocking to the near frenzy, his body ached for completion, but at the same time he wanted this to go on forever. If it was a dream and he didn’t want to ever wake up.

Sesshoumaru must have been thinking the same thing because he suddenly stopped and sunk deep within Inuyasha, but careful to avoid his entire weight to crush the human. They lay there, panting, trying to get their frantic breathing under control. Sesshoumaru moaned and shivered as he felt Inuyasha tenderly brushing his hair from his neck and shoulders. Had he ever felt such tenderness from anyone? Was he truly willing to relinquish such a balm to his soul.

When Inuyasha began a slow trail of kisses along the side of Sesshoumaru’s neck, he was pleased at the rumble in Sesshoumaru’s chest. It vibrated through his own and created a connection that he could physically feel. He breathed in the scent of his brother. Sesshoumaru must have bathed under the nearby waterfall because that’s what he smelled. The taste of Sesshoumaru’s skin was accented by salted perspiration and Inuyasha savored it while he licked it from Sesshoumaru’s skin. It brought to the forefront his age old hunger to be with his brother. His hands traveled along the soft skin covering Sesshoumaru’s ribs then over the hard muscles of two muscular globes.

Goosebumps sprang up along Sesshoumaru’s skin and he shivered under Inuyasha’s hands, though he wasn’t cold. Not at all. In fact, he was extremely warm, and not just his body. It was disturbing, considering what he meant to do. His mind was in turmoil at the response his body and heart was having toward Inuyasha.

‘ _I wanted to give him everything, but I never meant to give him my heart, only my body and the words that would make him feel the love he craves from me. I never meant to fall in love with him. It can’t be allowed,’_ Sesshoumaru thought ruefully, regretting ever stepping into Inuyasha’s room, even though his original intentions had been far from having a passionate encounter. Sesshoumaru’s thoughts were interrupted when Inuyasha pushed down on Sesshoumaru’s ass while raising his hips.

“Inuyasha, please, don’t,” Sesshoumaru murmured as he withdrew himself and slid down to rest his head on Inuyasha’s chest.

Inuyasha’s brow creased in confusion when his body feelt the emptiness of the separation. Fear reared its ugly head. _‘What now? Why?’_

Inuyasha could feel his muscles tensing, but Sesshoumaru’s soft breath wafting across his chest served to soothe him until he found his fingers running through Sesshoumaru’s silvery white mane. The silken strands clung to Sesshoumaru’s face and he swept them back behind Sesshoumaru’s ear. When he had finished, he trailed the sensitive pads of his fingers along the shell of Sesshoumaru’s pointed ear. It was so unlike his own and softer than he had imagined. Rather than slick skin, he found soft velvet.

The markings on Sesshoumaru’s cheeks drew his attention and he wondered if they felt any different than the surrounding skin, so he ventured an examination. When he traced the markings on Sesshoumaru’s cheek, Sesshoumaru’s chest seemed to cave with a sigh that blew warm air across Inuyasha’s chest. It felt no different that the rest of Sesshoumaru’s skin. He continued his caresses. It was a surprise when he felt the warm wetness of Sesshoumaru’s tongue swirl against his skin.

The sensation of Inuyasha preening him and caressing his skin erased the confusing thoughts plaguing Sesshoumaru and he found himself relaxing into Inuyasha’s touch. The small human fingers were soft against his skin. It was amazing. Inuyasha was smaller in human form than he was as a hanyou, but unlike tonight, he had the strength of his demon side. As a human, his fragility was more than evident. The touches felt as soft as butterfly wings.

Sesshoumaru sniffed Inuyasha’s skin. The scent of hanyou still hung to the human form, just barely. He slid his tongue out to taste the newly discovered shell of a body that housed his brother. That’s when Inuyasha shivered and moaned. Desire flared through Sesshoumaru’s gut and he was on the boy in an instant, suckling his nipples, nipping the skin, and lathing the slick flesh with his tongue. The sound of Inuyasha’s whimpers drove him on. He grasped Inuyasha by the back of the head and pulled until he had excellent access to Inuyasha’s throat. Before he was through, not an ounce of skin remained untouched. Underneath him, Inuyasha bucked and writhed while digging his short human nails into Sesshoumaru’s back.

“Sesshoumaru! Ah!”

“Say my name again, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru whispered against his ear as he nibbled the lobe. The sound of his name rolling from Inuyasha’s lips had sent a thrill through his entire body.

“Sess,” Inuyasha panted.

Sesshoumaru moved to suckle the skin just under Inuyasha’s earlobe. He nipped at the delicate sensitive skin.

“Sessy, gods!”

‘ _Sessy?’_

Something large, something he didn’t understand, ran through Sesshoumaru’s chest and he wanted to be inside of his brother more than anything. He took his lover in one sudden move, but with gentleness. The sensation of that tight ring slid up is shaft as he glided through Inuyasha’s inner heat and nearly blinded him. He withdrew and thrust again. Seeing that there was no way to balance himself with his one arm and stroke Inuyasha’s cock at the same time, Sesshoumaru slid his arm under Inuyasha’s back and lifted. It brought them to a sitting position with Inuyasha straddling his lap.

Inuyasha clung to him when he removed his arm then gasped when Sesshoumaru’s hand gripped the stiff organ that rose between them. The slow strokes of Sesshoumaru’s fingers set Inuyasha ablaze, prompting him to thrust his hips up into Sesshoumaru’s hand. The feel of Sesshoumaru’s shaft gliding out of him was a surprise. He’d done it on his own without thinking, then he did it again and again, controlling the pace. Amidst the physical sensation, body was on fire, his heart filled to overflowing, and his cares forgotten.

Inuyasha was getting everything he wanted. All that existed in his small corner of the world was him and Sesshoumaru. His back arched and he threw his head back as Sesshoumaru filled his body and soul with undeniable passion. There was no yesterday and tomorrow, only now. He fought against the rising tide rushing to crash onto the shore. It was too soon, but Sesshoumaru wouldn’t be stopped. He kept pushing, shoving, and thrusting into Inuyasha, filling Inuyasha’s body, taking his breath away and stealing his soul.

“Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru moaned against Inuyasha’s neck. And that did it.

“I can’t hold back anymore,” Inuyasha hissed through gritted teeth just before his back bowed and his world exploded into streams of blinding white light. “Sess!” he screamed as he convulsed and gripped Sesshoumaru’s body with his legs. Warm liquid splashed on his belly as his body continued to be battered.

Sesshoumaru roared with the tight clenching around his cock. He had brought Inuyasha over the edge. His own feeling of accomplishment and the tight friction running up and down his shaft sent him into a shocking oblivion so expansive that he thought he would die, or had died. Without his control, his body tipped forward and they fell into a tangled mess of limbs against the slick satin sheets. He continued to shove Inuyasha up the sheets while his orgasm took him over and over, until it eventually began to fade and the world became more focused.

“Too…heavy,” Inuyasha rasped between pants.

Sesshoumaru managed to roll them to their sides while they rode out the last waves of spent passion. Just when Sesshoumaru thought it was over, Inuyasha’s muscled walls undulated around his cock again, sending another wave of shocks through him. Then another and another.

“Please, Inuyasha, stop,” he panted as his overly sensitized member complained with unpleasant tingles.

Inuyasha nodded not even knowing if he could prevent his reaction to Sesshoumaru fulfilling his needs.

Long moments stretched out between them as their labored breathing calmed. Inuyasha swallowed, wetting his dry throat while he pressed his forehead into Sesshoumaru’s chest. It wasn’t time to start thinking yet. Even as a human, he could still smell Sesshoumaru’s scent. He basked in the warmth of their embrace and pulled the scent around him as one would a soft blanket.

Sesshoumaru wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure what. He blinked his eyes in an effort to wake his brain from its stupor and wet his lips with his tongue. Then he remembered. Inuyasha’s needs, all of them were to be met this night and it would be far from difficult.

“Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru whispered.

Inuyasha tipped his head back and looked up at Sesshoumaru with a questioning gaze. There was a hesitation to Sesshoumaru’s countenance. _‘What does he want? Is he going to say that he loves me? No, he would not bring himself so low.’_ Inuyasha’s heart sank at the serious expression on Sesshoumaru’s face, not that far from a glare. He didn’t realize that it was determination. _‘What the hell did I do wrong now?’_

Sesshoumaru slid himself down to be eye to eye with Inuyasha. They stared at one another, Inuyasha with discomfort, and Sesshoumaru studying the life in the eyes he would never see again. Inuyasha couldn’t look when Sesshoumaru’s gaze became too intense. There was something in them that made him nervous. Instead, he tried to distract himself and brought his gaze to the blue crescent moon on Sesshoumaru’s forehead.

‘ _Why is that there? Does it mean something?’_ He was brought from his thoughts when Sesshoumaru shifted and took him in a gentle kiss. Sesshoumaru nibbled and tugged at his bottom lip then swiped his tongue across it.

“Inuyasha, look at me,” Sesshoumaru gently commanded.

Inuyasha opened his eyes to a haunting look of regret that left him puzzled.

“I love you, little brother.” Sesshoumaru sighed with the admission, but didn’t look away. He needed to see that Inuyasha believed him. Inuyasha had to believe him or he couldn’t end this.

“Say it…again, Sess, please,” Inuyasha whispered. He simply couldn’t believe his ears and he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I love you, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru repeated softly. Sesshoumaru saw the reflection of tears welling up in Inuyasha’s eyes. It was time.

Inuyasha sniffed and swallowed as Sesshoumaru’s deadly lips closed in on him. He closed his eyes in anticipation.

“Open your eyes, Inuyasha. Don’t close them,” Sesshoumaru murmured against his lips.

Inuyasha did as he was told and took a shuddering breath. That was the last mistake he would ever make. Sesshoumaru’s lips closed over his mouth and he tasted something bitter. Startled, he jerked away.

“Sess?” Then the world began fading to black. If his hearing was dulled as a human, it was more so now, yet he did hear whispered words tickling his ear.

“Forgive me, brother. I do love you.”

Inuyasha’s heart warmed and he smiled through his quick descent toward death.

Sesshoumaru watched the light fade from his brother’s eyes and was pleased to see a hint of a smile on the boy’s lips. He had died content, even joyfully. Sesshoumaru lowered the lids of Inuyasha’s eyes then rested his lips on the fading warmth of Inuyasha’s forehead before retreating from the bed.

As Sesshoumaru sat in a chair and kept vigil over his little brother’s body, the human appeared to be simply sleeping. That deceptive impression would soon fade and Sesshoumaru would keep watch until death had had its way with the body. It was only an empty shell now. He rose from his chair and pulled the sheet up to rest at Inuyasha’s shoulders then dressed and sat in the chair across from the bed, watching, waiting, ignoring Tensaiga’s urgent pulsations that haunted Sesshoumaru with what seemed to be the silent beat of Inuyasha’s heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	7. Embracing Solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited

It matched the rate of his heart, the pulsing of his father’s fang, Tenseiga. Distracting. In this surreal, shadowed darkness, there was no mirroring breath. No rise and fall of the other’s chest. Oddly disquieting, despite the silence. And that silence couldn’t stave off the voices inside of his head.

‘ _He made you weak. You almost died for him.’_

Tenseiga pulsed against his hip. _‘I, Sesshoumaru, have never been weak.’_

The fang began to hum.

It seemed strange that Inuyasha’s chest was not rising and falling, unnatural, and it made Sesshoumaru very aware of the deafening sound of his own heartbeat. It was almost as though, by concentrating on his own breathing, he could force air into Inuyasha’s lungs. Something was just so wrong with this painting...and as long as Inuyasha’s chest remained still, his chest felt as though it would explode.

‘ _You protected him and almost paid with your life. Would you die for him?’_

Sesshoumaru growled under his breath as the internal war raged.

‘ _You protect Rin. She is a weakness. Would you die for her?’_

Tenseiga loosened itself from the grip of its sheath and rattled with purpose, fighting the battle for Inuyasha’s life.

‘ _I protect no one.’_

‘ _Liar! You would die to protect them both! Fortunately, the hanyou is no longer a threat to your power and longevity. But, what about Rin?’_

Tenseiga’s vibrations bore down onto Sesshoumaru’s thoughts.

‘ _You know that she must die. She is human. Spare her the humiliation of old age. Dispatch her.’_

‘ _Silence!’_

Sesshoumaru attempted to still the call of Tenseiga by resting his hand on the hilt. Warmth flooded into his hand, traveling up his arm to pour throughout his body.

‘ _No one can force weakness on me, neither Inuyasha, nor Rin! I betrayed him. For what!? Pride?’_

The heat exuded by Tenseiga’s hilt had reached nearly painful proportions. Blood dripped down the handle as Sesshoumaru’s claws dug into the palm of his hand as it wrapped around the hilt. A foreign, purple-black sludge separated from the bright red liquid of his blood and congealed, only to be seared by Tenseiga and burned away as a fine black powder.

‘ _You are weak! You love them. They aren’t even near your equal and you love them! You’re pathetic.’_

“Enough!” roared Sesshoumaru.

Yanking Tenseiga from its sheath, Sesshoumaru strode to the side of the bed while his vision faded to a haze of crimson fog. The sword glowed with an intensity that Sesshoumaru had never before seen. Power flowed in a visible arc of blinding white light, fighting its way toward the pale human. Upon seeing the demon spawn binding Inuyasha’s spirit in chains, bile rose in Sesshoumaru’s throat. He flicked his wrist and Tenseiga followed his arm’s command, swooping to the right in readiness for the saving swing.

‘ _They will be your death,’_ hissed the voices in his head.

When he paused at the unwanted words, Tenseiga burned its displeasure and screamed its anxious insistence through Sesshoumaru’s body.

“So be it,” he responded with calm determination.

‘ _You will regret this.’_

“Never.”

In one smooth motion, Tenseiga swept the length of Inuyasha’s cold form then efficiently landed, snug in its sheath. A quick brush of the back of his fingers across Inuyasha’s cheek, and Sesshoumaru was gone.

~*~

The scent of sex and death, laced with a hint of poison, curled up into Kouga’s nostrils as he made his way to Inuyasha’s room. He had wondered why Inuyasha had slept so late. Now he knew. The corridor felt like a never-ending passage as he raced toward the abhorrent scent. His heart pounded erratically against the wall of his chest. The fact that the door to Inuyasha’s room was unlocked was inconsequential. He crashed through it and jumped onto Inuyasha’s bed, straddling the hanyou.

“Inuyasha! Inuyasha!” Kouga called as he grabbed his friend’s shoulders and shook him with unnecessary force.

“Ung,” Inuyasha groaned when greeted by blinding, morning light, streaming through his window, and by an anxious wolf demon rattling his brains. “What the fuck, Kouga? Get the hell off me.”

His mumbled words were ignored as Kouga continued to stare at him with wide eyes. “What happened to you? I was coming to see what was up because you slept later than usual and I find you reeking with the smell of sex and death,” Kouga practically panted while lowering the volume of his voice.

‘ _Sex...and death?’_ Inuyasha wondered. The foul, bitter tang of poison still clung to the walls of his throat and nostrils. With a whimper, his world crumbled, folded in upon itself, shriveled up, and died then disappeared in a puff of green poison.

Kouga watched as startled golden eyes rose up to meet his intense steely blue gaze.

“He...he,” Inuyasha choked on the burning lump rising in his throat. “Go away. Leave me alone, Kouga.” Inuyasha shoved Kouga backward. _‘Oh gods, why? I thought...just like Kikyou, only she didn’t take my virginity before she killed me.’_

Memories of his first love and her betrayal called up and replayed the despair and pain of the past, burning his chest, throat, and mind.

“Did he fuck you before or after he killed you?” Kouga growled.

“Just leave, baka! Get away from me!” Inuyasha strangled out in a low growl meant to cover his distress.

Kouga could see the reflection of tears welling up in Inuyasha’s eyes. “No, I won’t leave.”

He knew Inuyasha’s mind better than most. In some part of Inuyasha’s mind, Inuyasha had always known that Kagome would go back to her own world and had been as prepared as he could have been. But this, this was unimaginable. Kouga knew that this might very well break his friend. Despite the brothers’ warring relationship, Kouga knew how it must have haunted the hanyou that his own brother loathed him. It had been obvious that Inuyasha craved his brother’s acceptance and maybe even his love. And for Sesshoumaru to go and do something like this was indefensible and unforgivable. Sesshoumaru had given Inuyasha the desires of his heart only to utterly shatter that same heart.

Kouga knew that he would never be able to fathom the depth of Inuyasha’s pain, but could tell that this could very well be the last straw in Inuyasha’s struggle to tread the water above others’ hatred. To overcome the taunts and spite of humans and demons was one thing, to have someone that you hold dear betray you in the most intimate of ways could very well destroy a soul. Inuyasha could very well drown. A soul could only take so much.

“Go away,” Inuyasha yelled, shoving Kouga in the chest as his face and ears turned crimson with embarrassment, humiliation, and a host of other emotions that made for one distraught hanyou.

“No,” Kouga answered softly, gathering Inuyasha in his arms and holding him in an iron grip.

“Fuck you, Kouga,” Inuyasha whimpered as his body began trembling. The concern of his friend coaxed the first tear down Inuyasha’s cheek, then another and another.

“What happened, Inuyasha?” Kouga whispered, clutching Inuyasha’s face in the crook of his neck.

“Can’t you just leave me the hell alone?” Inuyasha struggled in Kouga’s grip, but not wanting to hurt his friend, he didn’t put forth the effort that he could have. Even though he preferred being alone in his suffering, something inside of him desperately needed the healing comfort of a concerned friend. It didn’t help that he had just been betrayed, but he knew that Kouga had no intention of harming him.

“No, you need me right now,” Kouga murmured over the top of Inuyasha’s head as he squeezed his friend closer.

Disbelief had given way to horror, leaving in its wake a depth of grief that Inuyasha had never experienced in his life. Not even Kikyou’s betrayal had hurt this bad. This stupid mistake was proof positive that he was ignorant and weak. Why hide it? Why should he care what people thought of him? They were right.

“He...made love to me, Kouga. He made love to me...,” Inuyasha finally volunteered after a few moments of silence.

‘ _Don’t you mean that the bastard fucked you then threw you away?’_ thought Kouga, but was unwilling to say it. Kouga had seen this side of Inuyasha only once and it had disturbed him greatly. Yet, even then, there had been the same old stubbornness to the hanyou’s demeanor. Now...now there was only emptiness and a fathomless well of pain reflected in those golden eyes. Where mocking Inuyasha that first time had worked, he knew that this time would be much different. The hurt was fresh and deep.

“He said....” Inuyasha took a shuddering breath and swallowed hard. “He said he loved me.”

“Well, he sure has a strange way of showing it,” Kouga replied as he began stroking Inuyasha’s hair as he held in his rage and hatred for Inuyasha’s half-brother.

“I can’t believe he did that? Why...How could he?” Inuyasha sobbed, clutching Kouga’s neck and burying his face deeper in the reassuring warmth of his friend. “I know that he’s a cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch, but that was unforgivable.”

“What were you expecting, Inuyasha? I mean, why would he change all of the sudden?”

“I’m still just a filthy hanyou to him, aren’t I?” Inuyasha’s body began trembling again.

“I don’t know what you are to him, Inuyasha, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. Hanyou or not, you are my friend, my comrade. Come with me. I’ll take you home,” Kouga offered, hoping that Inuyasha would take him up on it. Inuyasha needed to put as much space between him and Sesshoumaru as physically possible, as fast as possible, or he would crumble like a dry leaf. That much Kouga was sure of. He had seen this kind of grief before and it was never to be taken lightly.

“I don’t know where I want to go. He said that he loved me, Kouga. But he didn’t mean it, did he?”

Kouga could barely make out the muffled words. It seemed as though Inuyasha had started rambling and Kouga wasn’t sure how to deal with aimless babbling.

“I can’t speak for him. But I’d like to give him a piece of my mind. Come on. Let’s get you out of here.” Kouga’s chest was tight with his anxiousness to get Inuyasha away from a potential confrontation with Sesshoumaru. If it weren’t for Shippou, he would simply jump out the window with the hanyou in his arms and not stop running until they were far, far away. And screw what Inuyasha had to say about it.

“I need to clean up first,” Inuyasha muttered. A bitter chuckle leaked past his lips. “I’ll never be clean enough for him.”

Pain burrowed into Kouga’s chest. He had never been subjected to the loathing of everyone around him and couldn’t imagine what it could do to a person. A hanyou was a reject, not worthy of the dust beneath someone’s feet. Or so it was in the current social structure. No one should be treated that way. Especially Inuyasha. He had a heart of gold to match his brilliant eyes, was stronger than any demon Kouga had ever met, and he was easy on the eyes. Not that the latter should make a difference in how someone was treated, but Kouga couldn’t fathom how a creature this exotic could be shunned and hated. Sure, he’d teased Inuyasha, but the mutt knew better.

“Gods! Shippou! I’ve gotta find Shippou. What if…” Inuyasha sucked in a deep breath and wanted nothing more than to leap from the bed in order to protect his little ward, even though said kit was often a pain in the ass.

“I’ve seen Shippou. Sesshoumaru hasn’t hurt him. I’d go get him for you, but I don’t trust that pompous ass not to come back again,” Kouga said, cutting Inuyasha off and trying to ease his anxiety.

“Why would he? He obviously doesn’t intend to kill me again,” Inuyasha chuckled miserably. “I’m not even worth killing.”

“Stop talking shit, Inuyasha. Let’s get you cleaned up and get the hell outta here,” Kouga said with grim determination as he untangled himself from Inuyasha’s hold. The quicker that he could get Inuyasha away from Sesshoumaru, and anything associated with the bastard, the better.

“Yeah,” Inuyasha sighed, throwing off the sheet only to find himself as naked as the day he was born.

The heat of embarrassment engulfed his face and ears, but he stoically ignored it and slid off the bed. To his surprise, his legs decided they weren’t in the mood to cooperate. Fortunately, Kouga caught him before he could crash to the floor.

“What the hell!?”

“Maybe you’ve still got some of that poison in you,” Kouga murmured, very aware that he was holding in his arms a very attractive, bare-assed-naked hanyou.

‘ _Fuck! Get a hold on yourself, Kouga!’_ he chastised himself.

Kouga sat Inuyasha back on the edge of the bed and grabbed the sheet in order to give Inuyasha some semblance of dignity. Knowing that Inuyasha might make a fuss, he quickly and completely wrapped his devastated friend, so that any struggling would be harmless, before scooping Inuyasha up from the bed and heading to the bathing chambers.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, you wimpy wolf!” Inuyasha fumed. “I’m not helpless, you know.”

“Sorry, but I don’t wanna wait until you’re feeling like walking. You are getting cleaned up now…even if I have to do it myself.” Kouga grinned, highly amused with himself. Perhaps he could distract Inuyasha from thinking about last night’s events, at least for a little while.

“Like hell you will! Put me down!” Inuyasha scowled, very aware that his strength had been weakened by Sesshoumaru’s poison.

“How about I throw you in and while you wash yourself, I’ll just stick around to make sure you don’t drown, stupid,” Kouga smirked, trying for a little levity.

“Fine! But if anybody sees this, I’m going to give you the beating of your life!”

“Like you could, dog-breath.” Kouga’s grin got wider as he prided himself in accomplishing his goal.

“You just wait,” Inuyasha growled, turning his face into Kouga’s chest so that he wouldn’t have to endure the stares of anyone that might happen to observe them. For now, he would allow Kouga to be his shield. He wasn’t ready to deal with the world, or Sesshoumaru.

Outside, Shippou sat beneath the window, hearing every word. His heart fell. Inuyasha’s chance to be happy, his own chance to have a permanent playmate, had been squashed like an ant beneath his feet. Not that he liked squishing ants.

‘ _How could Sesshoumaru do that to Inuyasha? I thought he really cared for him. I guess me and Rin were wrong. This sucks! Kouga is right though. We need to leave before something else bad happens_.’

Shippou scurried off to give Rin the cleaned up version of the bad news. Her human years made her too young to reveal all the sordid details. He knew that she would be as upset as he was, but their feelings on the subject weren’t as important as taking care of his adopted father. Sesshoumaru could take care of himself and he hoped that the baka would also continue to take care of Rin.

‘ _If he ever hurts Rin, I’ll avenge her!’_

~*~

’ _He looked like he meant it. Every single word. It was in the gentle touch of his fingers, in the slow caresses of his lips and tongue, in the passionate way he touched me. Why did he do it? I should never have trusted him,’_ Inuyasha thought grimly as ghostly sensations of Sesshoumaru’s touch haunted his flesh. _’He just wanted to teach me a lesson. I’m worthless and any need for me is just for a little amusement. I can’t stand it anymore. Saying that he loved me was just his way of being cruel.’_

“I don’t hear any splashing in there,” Kouga called from the other side of the screen.

Inuyasha smacked the surface of the water. He wasn’t about to give the arrogant wolf the pleasure of a verbal response.

’ _If it weren’t for Kouga, I could slide under the water and just drown. Who would care? Really? Sango would eventually get worried and come for Shippou or Kouga would take him. Stupid wolf.’_

Despair had only just begun working its evil poison on the shriveled spirit of the hanyou. He had set himself up for a fall one too many times. Inuyasha laid his hands in his lap, staring at them and wishing he could just curl up into a ball and die. His only family had just used him then tossed him away like he was nothing. Oh, he was angry, but what could he do except hold it in? The anger certainly couldn’t be used to obtain the love he so desperately needed from his last surviving family member. So what was the point? Betrayal after betrayal.

It would never happen again. He would see to that.

“Hurry up, Inuyasha! Or don’t you want to get your scrawny ass out of here?” Kouga was more concerned about Inuyasha’s state of mind than he was about Sesshoumaru, and wouldn’t have put it past the hanyou to end the miserable existence that he had successfully battled for all of his life. It was one thing to have never experienced the softer emotions, touches, and care of a lover, it was quite another to be given that delicacy then have it ripped away, which had happened to Inuyasha three times now. Kouga wasn’t sure that even he could have lived through so much in such a short period of a youkai’s long life.

Inuyasha didn’t really care about anything at this point, but giving up in front of Kouga would hurt what little pride he had left. If he were alone, he could make it look like an accident. No one would be the wiser. He would get his chance…eventually. But first, he would need to get things in order. Shippou needed a home first. That was the least he could do before he went. With that goal in mind, he drew himself from the water, dried hastily, and dressed then opened the door.

“Let’s get Shippou then we can go,” he told Kouga, staring at the wolf with determination.

Kouga was delighted to see that Inuyasha had livened up, but wondered what had made the difference. However, the growl in his stomach put a halt to all other thoughts.

“I think we should grab a sack of food before we head out.”

“Fine. But don’t worry about me though. I’m not hungry.”

Kouga studied Inuyasha for a moment then nodded his head. Why should he expect Inuyasha to be able to stomach food? That didn’t mean he couldn’t pack some for later.

~*~

Finding supplies and rounding up Shippou went rather smoothly. It was getting through the gates that presented a major problem. A very angry Sesshoumaru just happened to be blocking their exit.

Inuyasha simply stood, shoulders slumped, head bowed, his bangs covering his face as amber eyes glared at him. Shippou clung to his leg, hiding behind the billowing red fabric of his fire-rat hakama.

’ _What did I ever do to deserve this? Oh. How could I forget? I’m just a filthy hanyou.’_

Kouga glanced at Inuyasha then turned to narrow his eyes at Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha shouldn’t have to deal with this so soon.

“Get out of the way, you bastard,” Kouga growled.

“This is my home. I shall do as I please, wolf,” Sesshoumaru hissed.

Though Sesshoumaru’s eyes had a slight pink tint to them, Kouga observed that his face was a shade paler than usual. That oddity was none of his business now. Sesshoumaru’s health was the dog’s concern.

“You can’t keep us prisoner and if you don’t move your ass, I’ll move it for you,” Kouga threatened with as much promise of pain as Sesshoumaru had delivered.

“You may try,” Sesshoumaru snarled, leaping forward, claws extended.

Kouga dodged the deadly claws, and surprisingly, landed a punch in Sesshoumaru’s jaw. _’He’s slower than normal. All the better for me.’_

“I thought you said that I wasn’t good enough or powerful enough, to have Inuyasha,” Kouga sneered as Sesshoumaru turned to face him. “Looks like you were wrong. I won.”

Inuyasha grimaced. ’ _They had a bet? So, I’m a piece of property now?’_

A deep, dark purple fluid drained from Sesshoumaru’s right nostril and from his swollen bottom lip.

’ _Demon or not, his blood should be red.’_ Kouga sniffed the air _. ‘ Naraku! The poison isn’t gone. Glad Inuyasha’s sense of smell isn’t as good as mine. Let the poison kill the bastard. He should suffer for what he’s done.’_ Then it dawned on him. _’That could be what caused him to kill Inuyasha. Fine, Inuyasha never has to know.’_

A low rumbling growl vibrated the air between the two opponents as Sesshoumaru drew his sword and rushed, not Kouga, but Inuyasha.

“Fuck! Inuyasha, move your ass!” Kouga exclaimed, sprinting toward Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha gazed up at the figure rushing toward him. Their eyes met and Sesshoumaru stopped dead in his tracks.

“Go ahead, Sesshoumaru. I won’t stop you,” Inuyasha muttered as pain gripped his heart.

“Inuyasha...,” Sesshoumaru whispered in a sudden moment of clarity. “…forgive me.”

“Never,” Inuyasha whispered as he turned, and with heavy steps, walked through the gate, away from his brother, away from the only place that had ever felt like home, leaving Sesshoumaru staring at his back, forlorn.

~*~

Things were looking up. Inuyasha seemed to have purpose. Though Kouga wanted nothing more than to head toward home with Inuyasha in tow, the mutt just had to insist on taking Shippou to Sango and Miroku. Not that he didn’t want to get rid of the whining brat, but he needed to get home and he just didn’t trust leaving Inuyasha alone. Something about his friend’s demeanor sent off warning bells in Kouga’s head and settled a heavy weight in his stomach.

“How long ‘til we get there, Inuyasha,” Shippou asked, yawning as he gazed at the waning flames of their campfire.

“I already told you ten times, Shippou, tomorrow night,” Inuyasha sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation. Glancing over at Shippou, he noticed that the fox child had already fallen fast asleep.

“So, Inuyasha. What are you going to do once you drop off the kid?” Kouga asked, hoping that his question wouldn’t anger the currently reclusive Inuyasha.

“Wander around I guess. Got nothing better to do,” Inuyasha replied as he stood, having picked out a nice high branch in which to spend the night.

“Why don’t you at least come and visit my pack. I’ve already told them that we’re friends now.”

“You sure can be a pest. You know that, don’t you? It’s not like you haven’t asked me that several times already.”

“I would say persistent.”

“That, too.”

“What do you say?”

“Fine, if it means you’ll leave me alone,” Inuyasha sighed, conceding defeat as he leapt into a tree. He’d humor the wolf for a short while.

Kouga smiled to himself, certain that he could convince Inuyasha to stay with his pack once they arrived at his den.

~*~

Shippou hadn’t taken kindly to being left behind by Inuyasha. It took some reasoning from Sango and Miroku to calm the kit. Inuyasha hadn’t promised to come back, but allowed Shippou to believe it. He wouldn’t lie to boy, but neither could he speak the truth.

Of course, Kouga was pleased and anxious to get home, but Inuyasha had been persuaded to at least spend the night with the monk and slayer. It was only one night. Kouga could give his friend that much without argument. After all, Inuyasha had finally agreed to come with him. That was an improvement. Maybe there was hope for the hanyou yet.

That hope was put on hold the very next morning. As soon as they had left, Inuyasha had become melancholy and distant. Try as he might, Kouga couldn’t snap him out of it.

There wasn’t anything in particular going through the hanyou’s head; random thoughts. He simply observed the forest animals, trees, and the deep blue that the sky was showing off. It would be the last time he would ever travel this path, so he might as well enjoy it.

’ _Too bad I never took the time to really study my world before. I can finally enjoy it. And it’s too little too late_.’

While enjoying the beauty surrounding him, Inuyasha’s thoughts took a morbid turn for the worse. His body remembered the touch of Sesshoumaru’s hands and the soft caress of his lips. Inuyasha’s face fell as he reached up to run the tips of his fingers across his lips; the same lips that had just a couple of nights ago felt the fiery passion that he had believed Sesshoumaru held for him. Finally, after all these long years, his brother had said that he loved him, and Inuyasha had taken it at face value, had believed the lie. How could he have been so naive? How could he have given in so easily?

’ _Now I know why there aren’t very many hanyou’s. They die from their own stupidity. Maybe Sesshoumaru’s attitude was right all along—tainted, ignorant, a stain on his name.’_

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, dog turd?” Kouga asked, using one of his favorite insults in the hope of getting some kind of decent response from Inuyasha.

“Leave it alone, Kouga. I’ll be fine,” Inuyasha muttered.

“Well, we’ll keep you busy and you won’t have time to use that pea brain of yours to think about anything.”

“Humph,” Inuyasha’s snorted.

“Here we are!” Kouga exclaimed as they rounded the last turn on the mountainside. It was good to be home with his own kind, his kin, and all of his friends.

Inuyasha looked none too excited.

“I like the way the waterfall hides the mouth of my den. Cool, huh?” Kouga commented, anticipating Inuyasha’s usual biting response, but was thoroughly disappointed.

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“You’re one hard-to-please puppy. Come on!”

Inuyasha glared at Kouga. Why did everyone insist on referring to him as a puppy when he was just a hanyou? Not a dog. Not a human. Nothing, nothing at all.

Kouga grabbed Inuyasha’s hand and dragged him past the guards and through the waterfall.

“See? All nice and cozy. The hunting is great, too. There’s always something good to eat. At least there is when I’m around,” Kouga declared proudly.

Inuyasha just stared at him, his eyes hollow. Kouga wanted to slap him, to do something. With each passing moment, his friend drifted further away and his impatience was taking a turn toward anger.

“Damn it, Inuyasha. Just stay here for awhile. I’ve got some things to take care of and won’t be gone long. Take a nap or something,” Kouga bit out, frustrated to no end.

He had known that Inuyasha cared for Sesshoumaru, just not to what extent. Now he knew that it ran deeper than he could have ever suspected. The job of fixing Inuyasha was going to take a lot more work than he had imagined. Too bad Kagome wasn’t here to ‘sit’ the mutt into oblivion.

It was true, the den was cozy, but that wasn’t what had interested Inuyasha. There was a very nice, very tempting cliff above those waterfalls. All he had to do was slip past everyone unseen. Inuyasha turned and walked out of the cave with only one thing on his mind.

‘ _I haven’t been gone that long. Where the fuck did he go?’_ Kouga fumed as he marched out of the cave.

“Hey, Ginta, have you seen Inuyasha?” Kouga called out.

“Yeah, he said he was going for a walk.”

“Did he say where?”

“Um, no.”

“How long has he been gone?” Kouga asked, unaware that he was beginning to sound worried.

“Just a few minutes,” Ginta replied, starting to get a bit nervous because of his leader’s obvious frustration.

“That’s more than enough time,” Kouga mumbled.

“For what?”

“Nevermind. Get Hakkaku. I want him found, now!” Kouga demanded.

“Sure thing, Kouga,” Ginta stammered before speeding away to follow Kouga’s orders.

“Where the fuck would he go?” Kouga muttered.

There wasn’t anything in the area that was particularly interesting, nothing that Kouga could pin down, that is, until his eyes traveled up the rocky crags of the cliffs.

“Fuck!”

The trail up the mountainside definitely had Inuyasha’s scent on it. No question about it now.

“Hakkaku!” Kouga called to one of his trusted warriors.

“What is it, Kouga?”

“Go get that hide from the big youkai we killed last week. If you see that idiot hanyou on top of the cliff, I want a bunch of you guys to catch him with it if he falls.”

“Eh? Why would Inuyasha fall?”

“Don’t ask questions! Just do it!” Kouga yelled, not wanting to humiliate Inuyasha with his assumptions.

“Whatever you say, Kouga,” Hakkaku huffed at the rough tone Kouga had used.

“You’d better do it or I’ll have _your_ hide,” Kouga called back as he sped up the trail, scowling at the trouble Inuyasha was causing.

Inuyasha stood on the edge of the cliff, his golden gaze studying the ground far below. His long, white mane billowed in the winds that were forever present at this high altitude. The calm peace that accompanies staring into the face of death and accepting it warmed his heart, body, and mind. Soon…soon, he would be put out of his misery; and out of everyone else’s as well. The very thought of Sesshoumaru’s wrath interrupted his serenity.

‘ _Well, the bastard will get his wish. He’ll never find anyone that’ll give him the fight I did. Let him suck on that!’_ Inuyasha thought, not realizing the depth of anger that raged beneath the surface. Anger meant that he cared about something, and he didn’t. He refused.

He should never have been born. And though he had, he should have never lived past infancy. The fact that he had was an unwanted miracle, or more like a cruel twist of fate. A faint smile crossed his lips as he took in a deep, satisfying breath. Now he could enjoy the scent of the woods, the mountain air, and the expansive view of his surroundings. Kouga had chosen this place well. It was beautiful.

A good place to die.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, mutt!?” Kouga yelled as he came over the rise to the plateau.

“Nothin’,” Inuyasha replied with a smile. “Just enjoying the view.”

“Yeah, right! I know what you’re doing up here and don’t even think about it.”

Inuyasha’s peaceful smile was unnerving and prompted Kouga to stride toward him. Fear spiked through Kouga’s chest when Inuyasha turned his gaze back out over the cliff. Running forward, Kouga grabbed Inuyasha’s left arm and yanked him away from the cliff’s edge with such force that they both tumbled to the ground.

“Stupid baka,” Kouga panted from underneath Inuyasha.

“Keh,” Inuyasha retorted as he rolled to the side and started to stand.

“Oh no you don’t.”

Kouga sat up and trapped Inuyasha in his arms.

“What am I going to do with you, Inuyasha,” Kouga whispered as he rested his cheek on Inuyasha’s back.

Silence filled the air as Kouga clutched his friend. Inuyasha simply waited, not thinking anything in particular, not feeling anything either. It was quite pleasant.

‘ _Why don’t the living choose to see the world this way?’_ he wondered. Sesshoumaru spent an inordinate amount of time just roaming around, sometimes just staring at the sky in utter silence. _‘Is this what he feels? As if any moment could be his last and he just isn’t scared?’_

“You have to stop this, Inuyasha. I’m here for you. Don’t you think I care about what happens to you? Please. Let me help you,” Kouga murmured softly.

Inuyasha felt as though he should respond, but didn’t feel up to the task. What could he say? There were no words left. Kouga had no right to make his decisions for him anyway. And it wasn’t like his death would have any lasting effect on anything or anyone, even Kouga. In the end, all he could do was sigh. All of his will to fight had vanished in a puff of green smoke. Now that the search for the jewel shards and his job of protecting Kagome was over, no one really needed him. He had no debts to repay. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever binding him to this world.

“Inuyasha…Sesshoumaru is not worth your life,” Kouga murmured, knowing the cause of Inuyasha’s condition. It had to be faced and dealt with.

“Neither am I,” Inuyasha ground out without even thinking. No one would have control over him or tell him what to do, think, or feel. He was free now. Kouga just needed to shut the fuck up. Still, he shouldn’t have said that even that much. Kouga whipped Inuyasha around, grabbing him by his hair.

“You listen to me, mutt. I’m tired of your attitude. There are people who believe you are worth a whole hell of a lot. Sango and Miroku would give their lives protecting you and they expect the same in return. All of our lives are entwined with the thread of our experiences. You are a part of our lives and it’s selfish of you to just take that away from us for no damn good reason,” Kouga swore.

Inuyasha dropped his gaze. Kouga just didn’t understand. He just couldn’t live with the rejection anymore. Who would reject him next? It just couldn’t happen again. He wouldn’t be able to handle it and he had to at least try to set Kouga straight.

“It doesn’t matter, Kouga! You might want to see me alive right now, but what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Sango and Miroku have their own lives. Me being around them will just bring them trouble. No one. Wants. A Hanyou! Get over it! Nobody needs me around!”

“That’s a lie. I need you,” Kouga murmured before crashing his lips against Inuyasha’s.

It was so good to feel wanted and for a moment he gave in to the warmth, parting his lips in an unconscious entreaty for comfort. Kouga did not hesitate, yet he softened his advance as he carefully slipped his tongue into Inuyasha’s mouth. Gently caressing Inuyasha’s tongue, he tried to coax his friend to respond and was pleasantly rewarded with a barest hint of a moan. It was short-lived though.

Inuyasha stiffened then shoved him away, the rush of his memories of Sesshoumaru’s kisses bringing him back to reality.

“Lies, Kouga. It’s all lies,” Inuyasha said flatly as he jumped out of Kouga’s grasp. “Even my own feelings lie to me. Never again.”

With that said, Inuyasha turned and sprinted toward the edge of the cliff. Kouga barely made it to his feet before Inuyasha sailed into the air and disappeared in a swan dive.

“Stupid, fucking mutt,” he muttered under his breath as he headed back down the path. “They had better catch him or I’ll skin them alive.”

The air ripping through Inuyasha’s hair was a rush not unlike what he experienced when he leapt above the tree tops. But this time he wasn’t searching, wasn’t on his way to a battle, had nothing to fight for or against. There was no one’s life at stake. Nothing to worry about. For the first time in his life, he felt clean, purged of the ugliness of his heritage. The opinions of others were of no consequence now. He was finally free of all constraints. And everyone else that was disgusted by his very existence was free of him.

“Here he comes, guys. A little to the left.” The sound of fifteen pairs of shuffling feet echoed around the den. “Too far! Back to the right!” Hakkaku ordered as the red clad figure plummeted head first toward the ground. “Do I have to do everything myself! There you go. That’s got it.”

Just in time, too. At least fifteen of Kouga’s men stretched the leather hide to its limits. When Inuyasha crashed down, it took all of their strength to prevent the edges from slipping through their grasp. A resounding thud let them know that his velocity had stretched the leather so far that he had actually hit dirt.

“Shit! Kouga will have our heads if he’s dead,” Hakkaku complained as they lowered the newly warped hide to the ground.

There was no movement from Inuyasha, nothing to signal that he was alive. Ginta crept over to him on hands and knees. Brushing Inuyasha’s hair from his neck, Ginta inspected it for a pulse. Finding none, he stuck his finger under Inuyasha’s nose.

“He’s breathing!” Ginta exclaimed.

“He damn well better be,” Kouga growled as he sped up from behind.

“What happened? Did you two have a fight or something?” Ginta asked.

“None of your damn business. Now, scram! I’ll take it from here,” Kouga ordered.

“Whatever you say, Kouga,” Hakkaku replied, shrugging his shoulders. If Kouga said it was none of his business, he wasn’t going to argue. Something was weird anyway and he didn’t want to get involved.

Kouga waited until his men had made themselves scarce before kneeling down beside Inuyasha. “You are an idiot as well as a pain in the ass.”

Gently lifting Inuyasha into his arms, he made his way to his own chambers and laid Inuyasha on the mound of furs that was his bed. A close inspection revealed a few bumps and bruises. Anymore information would have to wait until Inuyasha stirred and started groaning and complaining.

Kouga sighed as he slid down next to Inuyasha, but not so close that he would touch his injured friend. Throughout the day, Kouga watched as Inuyasha’s bruises changed their colors from black to purple to green and yellow. For being only half demon, Kouga had to admit that Inuyasha healed quickly. A low rumbling in Kouga’s belly told him that it was time for a meal. He made sure that Inuyasha was still out before leaving his chambers.

‘ _Maybe he’ll wake up if he smells food,’_ Kouga thought, deciding that he would bring something back for Inuyasha.

As it turned out, the food wasn’t necessary. He found Inuyasha sitting back against the wall with his head down and his untamed bangs covering his eyes.

“Why? Why couldn’t you just let me die?” Inuyasha whispered as Kouga entered the room.

Kouga sighed and shook his head as he set the bowl on the floor and lowered himself to sit in front of Inuyasha.

“If you don’t know, how am I supposed to explain it to you? It’s like trying to explain the scent of sakura blossoms to a man with no nose.” Kouga knew that Inuyasha’s keenest sense was smell, and consequently, that the analogy might have more of an impact than any other.

When Inuyasha didn’t respond, Kouga brushed the bangs away from Inuyasha’s face. Tears were streaking down Inuyasha’s cheeks. Silent weeping, something only for the deepest sorrow. There was simply no reasoning with someone experiencing such heart-wrenching pain. Kouga did the only thing he had at his disposal. He pulled Inuyasha into his lap and was surprised that Inuyasha didn’t struggle against him. There weren’t even any sounds to signify the pain of moving with such injuries, though Kouga knew it had to be there. Inuyasha seemed like a living corpse. Kouga swallowed past the lump in his throat. He felt helpless in his efforts to console Inuyasha.

Inuyasha allowed himself to be held. Let Kouga do whatever he wanted. He didn’t belong to himself anymore. If someone else could deny him death, he didn’t even deserve that solace. He allowed his body to sink into Kouga’s warm embrace. That’s all it was, an empty body. He imagined being free of it, watching everything from a distance, being able to travel without the shackles of the flesh. Kouga had effectively closed off that avenue of escape. At least, for the moment.

“I’ll put a twenty-four hour guard on you if that’s what it takes to keep you alive until you can cope with all of this. I know you love Sesshoumaru and I also know that I can’t change it. What’s important is that I’m here and he is not. I’m not going to reject you or hurt you,” Kouga murmured softly as he buried his nose in Inuyasha’s hair.

‘ _Lies, all lies,’_ Inuyasha’s mind mocked. ‘ _Shut up, Kouga.’_

“And I’m not going to leave you alone until you work through this. So deal with it, mutt face.”

“Damn you, Kouga,” Inuyasha rasped through the salty fluid collecting in the back of his throat.

“You don’t make that decision. Let’s not change the subject. You’ve buried all the shit you feel because you don’t want to think about it anymore. You made a decision on how you are going to handle it and now your only purpose is to die. I’ve seen it with women who have been raped, men who have lost their mates, children who have lost their parents. They hold in their anger and pain until it rots them from the inside out. You have to hear the thoughts, say the words, and express the anger. And in order to do all that, you’re going to have to feel the pain.”

He must have struck a chord.

“I don’t want to. I just want it all to go away,” Inuyasha muttered.

“That’s not happenin’, my friend. What would you say to Sesshoumaru if you could?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“No. What would you say if Sesshoumaru was sitting right here,” Kouga plowed on.

“There’s too much to say…nothing to say.”

“Why nothing and too much at the same time, Inuyasha?”

“After what he did, he doesn’t deserve to hear anything from me. He wouldn’t care anyway.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Anger,” Kouga said with some relief. At least he had Inuyasha talking. With one tiny step at a time he would root out the hatred and anger that Inuyasha had turned inward. Where Inuyasha wanted to dig his claws into Sesshoumaru, he had dug them into himself.

“Let me hear what you would say. Pretend I’m Sesshoumaru if you want.”

“I….” Inuyasha shook his head. This was too hard. He just wanted to scream. Kouga was delving too deep, opening what he had locked away.

“Okay then. I’ll help get you started. “’You betrayed me, Sesshoumaru, and I’ll never forgive you.’ How’s that for starters?”

The feel of Inuyasha’s thumb rubbing circles over the back of Kouga’s hand gave him hope. Perhaps Inuyasha was thinking of playing along with him. It wasn’t lost on him that Inuyasha had no idea what he was doing. It was pleasant, nonetheless.

“I hate you,” Inuyasha whispered.

“Me or Sesshoumaru?”

“Sesshoumaru.”

“Good. Let’s play. ‘I, Sesshoumaru, care not for your feelings, hanyou.’ How’s that?”

Inuyasha twisted slowly to gaze into Kouga’s eyes. If he hadn’t known any better, he would have believed that Sesshoumaru was right behind him. But he had to look. He had to be sure. Kouga’s impersonation was almost perfect. Too perfect. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and fought against the vision of a faint overlay of Sesshoumaru’s features on Kouga’s face.

“You betrayed me, Sesshoumaru. You let me hope, let me…love you. Why? That’s all I want to know,” Inuyasha muttered.

“Why should I tell you, a filthy hanyou, tainted by human blood?” Kouga spat, but carefully observed Inuyasha as the words fell from his lips. Despite his attention to Inuyasha, he didn’t see the blow coming.

“You bastard!” Inuyasha snarled as the palm of his hand made contact with Kouga’s cheek before he hopped out of Kouga’s lap.

‘ _Okay. That hurt.’_

Under any other circumstances, Kouga would have kicked Inuyasha’s ass, but right now there was fire in his friend’s eyes. The spark was fragile and he wasn’t about to dowse that flicker of life. Inuyasha was cooperating and Kouga fought to come up with another line in order to keep Inuyasha outside of his shell, to keep him alive. He rubbed his cheek, trying to buy time.

Inuyasha sat on his knees, breathing hard and glaring at Kouga. The person sitting across from him wasn’t Sesshoumaru, but he didn’t care. The anger inside of him wanted an outlet and Kouga was a willing target.

“You fucking betrayed me. I want answers, damn it!”

Okay, this was going to be a hard one. How do you get into the head of the stone cold Lord of the West? Maybe it would be easier to get inside Inuyasha’s head, say what it was that Inuyasha expected.

“Watching you suffer is much more gratifying than watching you die. Your mother is no longer alive to pay for father’s death. You, on the other hand, owe me a life. He died protecting her and you. You have a debt to pay and I will see to it that you do,” Kouga stated using that flat monotone, ‘I couldn’t give a shit’, voice that was the epitome of a scathing dismissal.

Silence filled the room as Inuyasha glowered at Kouga.

“You have no right,” Inuyasha ground out through his teeth. “He was my father too, you asshole!” Inuyasha yelled, lunging at Kouga.

‘ _So he wants a fight. I can do that_ ,’ Kouga thought as he dodged Inuyasha. Claws raked across his thigh, piercing his skin.

‘ _Now that just wasn’t a very nice thing to do.’_ He scowled at the blood flowing down his leg, but it was lost in surprise as he looked back up to see Inuyasha’s eyes filling with blood. “Oh, no you don’t. You’re not going on a killing spree in my pack. Calm the fuck down.”

The answer he got was no more than a quiet, growling snarl. So as not to prompt any violence from Inuyasha, Kouga very slowly and very carefully rose to his feet. The volume of Inuyasha’s growling increased, prompting Kouga to freeze on the spot.

“It’s me, Inuyasha, Kouga, your friend. You don’t want to hurt me, okay?” He didn’t want to say that he wasn’t Sesshoumaru. The name itself might set off the half-crazed demon inside of Inuyasha. There had to be some way to get through to the hanyou’s mind. Six feet away, jagged lavender stripes appeared on Inuyasha’s cheeks.

‘ _Fuck. How am I going to get him under control? The food! Inuyasha could never turn down a meal before. That might work, if I can get to it.’_

The bowl sat on the floor at least four feet to the side and two feet behind Kouga. One small step backward and Inuyasha twitched. A step to the side and Inuyasha drew up his shoulders, accenting the threat with a snarl. Another step back and Inuyasha cracked his knuckles.

“Oh, fuck this, you mangy mutt,” Kouga huffed in frustration.

Kouga took one long step to the bowl and scooped it up. When he stood, Inuyasha was nose to nose with him. Not wasting the opportunity, he shoved the bowl up under Inuyasha’s nose without breaking their stare. The scowl melted from Inuyasha’s face as he sniffed at the new odor.

“Gross.” It sounded as though Inuyasha was gargling stones.

Before Kouga knew what had happened, the contents of the bowl were splattered against the far wall and he was flat on his back, staring up at very sharp claws on a downswing, heading straight for his neck.

‘ _The food couldn’t have been that bad,’_ he thought while rolling to pin Inuyasha to the fur-covered floor.

“Hey, dog turd! It’s me, Kouga. See? Smell!” He took the risk of getting his throat torn out by lowering his face to Inuyasha’s. “Take a good whiff, my friend,” he murmured, rubbing his cheek against Inuyasha’s nose, all the while feeling the vibrations of Inuyasha’s growls.

Deep down, the mutt had to know who he was; otherwise there would be a lot of blood covering the walls. He was surprised when a long wet tongue glided up the side of his face.

“Well, now, that’s more like it!” Kouga grinned as he began to rise up.

He didn’t get very far. Inuyasha grabbed his head and pulled him back down, turning Kouga’s head to the side again. Elongated fangs pressed against Kouga’s neck as Inuyasha began suckling.

‘ _Shit. He could take out a chunk before I could do anything about it.’_

The erotic play of demon Inuyasha’s now rough tongue skating up his neck quickly shut down all of Kouga’s thought processes. Heat pooled in his belly and flowed straight into his groin.

“Inuyasha,” Kouga moaned. “What are you doing?”

The only response was a deep rumble in Inuyasha’s chest. Not wanting at all to lose the delightful sensation, Kouga didn’t move to get away. Instead, he shoved his hips and thighs down along the length of Inuyasha’s body when Inuyasha let go of his head. The hard bulge resting on Inuyasha’s abdomen let Kouga know that this was no game. Inuyasha wanted him. At least, demon Inuyasha did.

‘ _That’s nice to know. I can turn violence to sex. I’ll have to remember that. But it’s too soon. He’s not ready for it.’_

Inuyasha rolled to switch their position and ground himself into Kouga’s groin. Having his neck chewed, and some very long-assed fangs scraping his skin, was more scary than arousing. Thinking that Inuyasha might be in there somewhere, Kouga decided to try and put a halt to this particular activity.

“Stop that, Inuyasha. You’re gonna hurt me. I’m Kouga, friend, okay?” Kouga breathed a sigh of relief as Inuyasha’s tongue traveled up his neck and jaw then swirled around his ear. “You better stop this, mutt, because I won’t be held responsible for my actions if you keep teasing me.”

A low rumble vibrated Kouga’s chest when Inuyasha growled into his ear. Inuyasha ground his hips into Kouga, pressing the wolf into the floor again. When that hot, wet mouth suckled the tip of his pointy ear, all the oxygen in Kouga’s body was replaced with fire. Inuyasha’s hand seared a hot, sizzling trail up Kouga’s thigh then slid under his fur wrap and began the slow process of turning Kouga’s brain into a puddle of mush. Strong, callused fingers wrapped around his hardening cock and stroked it to complete stiffness. The situation had reached a point where it no longer mattered that this was too soon for Inuyasha.

“Gods, Inuyasha!” Kouga choked out, his throat constricting with desire.

It wasn’t pain that sparked little flames all over Kouga’s skin when Inuyasha’s claws scraped his outer thigh. Inuyasha lifted his head and stared at Kouga before taking Kouga in a soul-rending passionate kiss. Everything burned; his skin, his muscles, the tips of his ears, and his very hard and painfully aching cock. As Kouga lifted his hips and rocked in time with Inuyasha, trying to assuage that burning desire, it was difficult to remember that this was not the best thing for Inuyasha right now. Kouga’s body was screaming for the pleasure that led to mind blowing release.

Clothes flew across the room and before Kouga had had time to protest, he was completely nude and Inuyasha was ripping off his own clothing.

“You’re not ready for this,” Kouga panted half-heartedly.

Seeing Inuyasha in all his naked glory did nothing to help Kouga’s resolve. The flicking of Inuyasha’s ears was just as fascinating and Kouga forgot himself for a moment while his eyes roamed down the expanse of the corded muscles of Inuyasha’s chest to the well defined lines of his abdomen. There, standing at attention, Kouga’s eyes met one very thick, long, and dripping, angry cock.

He groaned at his luck. Inuyasha wanted him, but he didn’t want it this way. The hanyou had no idea what the demon inside of him was doing and it wouldn’t be right for Kouga to take advantage. At the same time, it might be dangerous to refuse the demon. He couldn’t very well let his throat get ripped out just because he didn’t want to hurt a friend. Sex would be a better alternative. That excuse might work. Yeah.

Crimson eyes narrowed, warning Kouga not to try to get away. At the moment, Kouga was too absorbed in the vision before him to be scared. The power exuded in Inuyasha’s every move was seductive and tempting in every way. The tips of his fingers itched to touch that glistening skin. So much power lay beneath it. And, oh, Inuyasha’s nipples were raised and hard. Kouga longed to take them into his mouth and suckle them until he had Inuyasha writhing and begging for release.

Kouga’s lusty day dreaming came to an end when Inuyasha fell forward onto his hands, his long white mane sliding down to create a curtain around them. Kouga thought he was about to be kissed and was a bit disappointed when Inuyasha slithered away. Nevertheless, what he got was much better than a kiss. His eyes nearly crossed when he felt a slick, wet tongue glide up his shaft from base to tip, where it paused to swirl and flick through the slit before sliding back down to taste between the wolf’s thighs. The sensation of Inuyasha’s tongue lathing his balls nearly sent him over the edge. His entire body trembled with the desire to be sated. When the tip of his shaft was suddenly engulfed in wet heat, the sparks of need forced him to cry out and his hips involuntarily snapped up from the furs.

“Fangs…Watch the fangs,” he gasped as pinpricks scraped his sensitive skin.

Inuyasha growled as he dropped his mouth down and around Kouga’s shaft. Being swallowed in one smooth move was an exquisite torture that Kouga hoped wouldn’t end anytime soon. Then again, he wanted to come, badly.

“Fuck!”

Another growl vibrated through his cock and he thought he was going to come right then and there. In his efforts to distract himself, he reached down and dug his fingers into Inuyasha’s hair just behind the ears. This time, there was no growl, instead Inuyasha moaned when Kouga dug his claws deep into the thick mass of hair and began to massage.

Then, Inuyasha’s tongue did the most wonderful thing. It applied pressure, traveling to and fro, and up and down against Kouga’s engorged shaft while Inuyasha lifted his head then dove back down. Kouga’s abdomen jerked when Inuyasha did it again. Each time that hot mouth engulfed his overly sensitive shaft, Kouga’s muscles tensed further, his hips frozen at an upward slant, his claws forced to finally relinquish their hold on Inuyasha’s hair in order to dig into the furs. His entire body was burning with the strain of his locked muscles.

“Inuyasha, enough. You have to stop,” Kouga whined and panted. Inuyasha dove down again, wringing a gasp from Kouga’s throat. “I’m gonna come if you don’t quit!”

Kouga looked down and nearly lost it from the erotic sight of Inuyasha’s mouth surrounding his cock while questioning crimson eyes gazed back at him. This wasn’t an improvement. Perhaps hand motions would be better understood? Kouga reached his hand out toward Inuyasha and waved him to come forward.

Inuyasha just stared at the hand for a moment before releasing him. If it weren’t for the feral grin that spread across Inuyasha’s face and the slow stalk on all fours, Kouga would have been relieved. Now he was downright nervous. Maybe he had only succeeded in pissing off the demon.

Inuyasha’s bangs clung to his face, dampened by a sheen of sweat. His sleek form glistening as his chest heaved while gazed down at flushed, bronzed cheeks and steely blue eyes. Kouga’s long raven hair had loosened in their struggles and fanned out around his broad, tanned shoulders. This being was familiar to Inuyasha, but unknown in his demon induced amnesia. The only thing that Inuyasha knew was that he had to fuck Kouga, or vice versa. It wasn’t just physical either. He needed a cleansing, and bonding with this creature might accomplish that task. Or so he felt. Feeling was all he had, his mind being overwhelmed with the unthinking beast within. While examining the wolf, a moment of the barest lucidity briefly assaulted him.

“Ko…ga,” he growled low and guttural.

“That’s right, Kouga,” the creature panted.

The sound of Kouga’s voice set the demon back in motion and he slid his body along the line of Kouga’s. Feeling their hardened arousals slide along one another, Inuyasha groaned and sped up the motion of his hips. He was pleased when the blue-eyed creature below him responded and he showed it by taking Kouga in another searing kiss. The hunger for the taste of Kouga’s lips and mouth drove Inuyasha to grunts and growls and his grinding became more insistent. He explored the depths of Kouga’s eager mouth and thoroughly plundered the richness held therein. It wasn’t enough to sate the hunger that continued to grow within his body. Tearing his mouth away with a frustrated roar, Inuyasha ground his hips into Kouga harder and faster. Still, it wasn’t enough. Folding his legs on either side of Kouga’s body, Inuyasha rose, wringing a gasp from the wolf’s throat with the tantalizing grinding of his thighs that brought their velvety sacs to brush against one another.

Kouga was certain he was about to get it, and hard. Anything for Inuyasha though. He didn’t want to lose his friend and that was more important than anything—short of dying. He wouldn’t go quite that far, but, if this was what Inuyasha needed, it was no big deal, provided he could still walk come morning. What Kouga didn’t know was that he had no reason to worry, no reason to steel himself for what was about to happen.

Inuyasha lightly ran his fingers up and down Kouga’s shaft, seemingly fascinated by the fact that he could cause it to jump. That was just fine by Kouga. He closed his eyes, enjoying the tender caresses, but was soon startled when Inuyasha wrapped dangerously clawed fingers around his shaft and squeezed hard enough that it was nearly painful. Kouga’s eyes flew open and he looked down to find the demon positioning himself to take Kouga inside the depths of his body. The concentration in the crimson eyes belied the fact that Inuyasha’s ability to reason logically had been suppressed by his demon blood, and Kouga couldn’t quite fathom what was going through Inuyasha’s mind, or whatever it was the demon had for brains at the moment.

There had been no preparation whatsoever and Inuyasha didn’t seem to care as he placed the tip of Kouga’s cock against the tight ring guarding the heated core of his body. All Inuyasha wanted was to be filled, to reach that precipice that lead to a spiral of mind altering ecstasy, and especially to experience it with the creature beneath him. It wasn’t something he understood, simply an instinct. There was a safety in the cerulean blue eyes, a sense of calm. Perhaps it would purge this filthy darkness plaguing his soul.

‘ _Will it be painful for him? How will he react to the pain?’_ Kouga wondered.

But his thoughts were blown away when Inuyasha lowered himself, completely sheathing Kouga’s cock inside the tight, warm confines of his body. Both groaned; Inuyasha with the discomfort of the intrusion and Kouga with the sensation of being squeezed in such heat to the almost unbearable limit of his sanity. He dug his claws into the furs to prevent himself from moving. This was Inuyasha’s show and he wanted to be careful not to somehow ruin it for his friend. Oh, but the pleasure made that almost impossible.

Inuyasha grabbed Kouga’s hands and brought them to his throbbing erection where he wound Kouga’s fingers around his length. Kouga watched as Inuyasha threw his head back and growled. Inuyasha thrust into the tunnel made of Kouga’s fingers while pulling himself up Kouga’s shaft.

“Gods, Inuyasha!” Kouga blurted out; exhaling the breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding.

In a swirl of white hair, Inuyasha threw his head forward, growled again, and began thrusting while pinning Kouga’s hips to the furry floor with his long clawed fingers. Muscles bunched in Inuyasha’s chest and abdomen as he worked to bring himself to the pinnacle of passion. His body needed the burn of working his muscles. The combination of riding Kouga, feeling himself filled over and over, and the sensation of friction from Kouga’s rough hands were slowly winding him up.

Desiring more room to move, more of that filling sensation, Inuyasha let go of Kouga’s hips and braced himself with his hands on Kouga’s chest, for which Kouga was absolutely thrilled. Now he could enjoy the freedom of motion required to match Inuyasha, thrust for thrust.

The crimson eyes of the demon above Kouga were barely open. Lust had tinged Inuyasha’s face and ears a lovely shade of crimson and had swollen his parted lips with the blood of passion. It was the most beautiful and arousing sight that Kouga had ever witnessed. He wanted to watch Inuyasha take that leap into the oblivion of nothing but intense sensation. However, it was difficult to keep open his own lust-glazed eyes while he thrust upward into Inuyasha’s tight heat. The sensation of gliding through that tight ring and feeling Inuyasha’s walls sliding along his sensitive flesh was building the all-consuming fire within him. With each thrust, his body tensed more in anticipation.

Kouga increased the power and speed of his fist’s strokes along Inuyasha’s cock. The copious quantity of precum provided more than ample lubricant. Each time his fingers brushed over the source of the slick juices, he spread it along Inuyasha’s length. Inuyasha’s cock was now wet and easily pumped through his fists. The feel of that heavy meat reacting to his touch was amazing. With each throb, satisfaction swelled within Kouga’s chest and was experienced by his own erection.

Blood rushed through Inuyasha’s veins and Kouga could feel it through the tightening of the skin. Inuyasha was close. Each time they pounded into one another, Inuyasha’s hair bounced with the force. And each time, the hair flailed farther, tickling Kouga’s nipples and neck. Goosebumps broke out across his skin and his movements became more erratic. He needed more friction against his cock, more heat to push him closer to the edge.

“Fuck, Inuyasha! Faster!”

Inuyasha couldn’t understand the meaning of the words themselves, but got the drift and began to slam himself down onto Kouga, impaling himself deep and hard. As the edges of Kouga’s vision began to blur, he pulled one hand from Inuyasha’s cock and dug his claws into Inuyasha’s shoulder. He was rewarded with a howl from the demon beast. He felt Inuyasha’s body tense and jerk. When Inuyasha brought his face back down, he stared into Kouga’s eyes as a nearly pained expression gripped him. Then his jaws unclenched and fell open. He let out a gasp, and his eyes rolled back into his head as his facial muscles went lax. Kouga thrust upward and held the position in order to give Inuyasha whatever support was necessary.

With the first jolt of Inuyasha’s body, Kouga felt the creamy substance of Inuyasha’s release shoot across his fingers to splash onto his abdomen. Inuyasha’s walls clamped down around his aching shaft. Involuntarily, he pulled back and thrust again. Inuyasha’s body jerked again, his ears flattening against his head as he grunted and another spurt of his cum streaked Kouga’s belly. With Inuyasha’s walls undulating around him, Kouga could no longer keep his eyes focused on the vision of passionate release above him.

Another thrust sent him over the edge, his body shuddering then convulsing, his neck arching while his seed rushed out to coat Inuyasha’s inner walls. He heard a howl and didn’t care that it was his, wasn’t sure he had even heard it as the blaring sound of blood racing through his veins deafened him. Sight, smell, and sound took a backseat to the fiery blood rushing through his veins and swollen skin. He thrust into that heat again, the grip of Inuyasha’s tight ring sending another rushing wave of release through him. And he continued shoving himself into Inuyasha until the sensation became nearly painful when his last seed was spent.

Somewhere through it all, Inuyasha had collapsed on top of him. Both were a heaving mass of weak limbs and aching muscles. Kouga licked his parched lips and swallowed to wet his dry throat. His hands made their way around Inuyasha’s waist, holding him then tenderly and stroking his skin in lazy circles. The scent of sex and blood permeated the room, but Kouga found it pleasant. Closing his eyes, he wondered what Inuyasha’s reaction would be when the demonic possession gave up its hold over him. He ran his claws through Inuyasha’s hair then scratched behind the left ear.

“Mmmm,” Inuyasha moaned then sighed.

Kouga smiled. _‘So far, so good.’_

A groan, then a gasp.

‘ _Definitely, not good.’_

“Kouga?” Inuyasha asked, struggling to raise himself. Then he felt it, inside of him. “What…what happened?”

“It’s alright. You’re alright and so am I,” Kouga quickly tried to assure him. “Your demon just decided it needed release. Don’t worry. Everything is okay.”

“I’m a fucking whore,” Inuyasha groaned as he rolled off of Kouga and grunted with the discomfort of Kouga’s softening member slipping from his body.

“No, you’re not, Inuyasha. You just needed someone to love you, if just for a little while.”

Inuyasha snorted. “There’s no such thing as love.”

“If that’s what you believe, fine. You needed something from someone and it just happened to be me that you were stuck with,” Kouga said, rolling away from Inuyasha to rest on his side, staring at the wall as his heart clenched. He knew that what they had just done was purely lust, but he still had feelings for Inuyasha, regardless of the fact that they were nowhere near as strong as Inuyasha’s feelings for Sesshoumaru. Just how much would he have to give for the stupid dog to accept him?

Inuyasha could hear the sound of Kouga’s pain at his rejection. He hadn’t meant to hurt Kouga. For the first time in days, he felt as though he actually cared about something.

“I…I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. You’re confused,” Kouga stated simply then closed his eyes. He understood, but that didn’t make it any less painful. It could have been worse.

“Thank you…for being here for me, Kouga,” Inuyasha said softly, hoping to soften the blow of his careless words.

“No prob, mutt face,” Kouga said with a slight quirk of his lips.

The endearing term, once meant to piss him off, brought a smile to Inuyasha’s lips. What could it hurt to take a little comfort in Kouga’s willingness to be there for him? Inuyasha rolled over and snuggled up to Kouga’s back, snaking his arm around Kouga’s waist.

And that’s how they spent the night, occasionally changing positions, but always wrapped in each other’s embrace.


	8. The Truth Unfolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited

“Wake up, Sunshine,” Kouga murmured into Inuyasha’s ear and had the treat of seeing it flick back and forth.

Smirking, he tested the ear’s response to his tickling breath. Again it twitched. The line of Inuyasha’s body was pinned against Kouga as he spooned Inuyasha. He wasn’t about to take advantage of the situation though. Inuyasha had been out of sorts last night, his mind overpowered by his demon blood. Today would be a day to distract his friend with some vigorous activity.

“Hey, mutt face, time to get up,” Kouga said a little louder while giving Inuyasha a shove.

“What!?” Inuyasha grumbled at being so rudely awakened.

“We’ve got lots to do today, so get your ass movin’.”

‘ _Kouga? Where am I?’_ Inuyasha thought as his eyes slid partially open.

The scent of wolf permeated the air and the blur that greeted Inuyasha slowly solidified into rock walls covered in hanging furs. He scowled and tried to remember just how he had arrived here. The first thing that his mind managed to dredge up from the murky depths of his sleep induced stupor was dropping Shippou off at Miroku and Sango’s. He followed the thread through his journey to Kouga’s. The cliff. ‘ _Oh, that’s right.’_ Rolling over and burying his face into the furs, he groaned as the memory of his demon’s behavior washed over his brain.

“Hey, you alright?” Kouga asked, thinking that Inuyasha had suffered some injury that had not yet healed.

Inuyasha’s words were muffled by the soft pelts beneath him. However, Kouga was able to decipher them.

“Go away.”

“Oh, no you don’t. We’re not starting this shit again. Get up. We’re going hunting. If you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been away so long that my pack is starving. And since it was because I was helping your brother, and you just happen to be here right now, I figure that you could at least help,” Kouga admonished.

With the mention of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha’s half lucid world crashed down around his ears. One hell of a way to greet the day. Sleeping sounded really good; for a day, a week, a month, a year, if possible, the rest of his life. ‘ _Kagome should have just left me pinned to that damned tree.’_

Inuyasha shivered when the covers were thrown back. It didn’t take long for him to notice his nakedness, a reminder of his demon possession and the aftermath. But, Kouga wasn’t going to relent. He had no choice. Today was starting no better than the day before. Another day to try to find another way.

Kouga sighed when Inuyasha rose and dressed without looking up and without making a sound. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he would have thought that his friend wasn’t even breathing. He looked dead again. _It’s too soon to expect a full recovery, but damn, couldn’t he at least show some improvement?’_ This was simply unacceptable. No one in his pack would be allowed to suffer like this.

“Inuyasha,” Kouga murmured, placing his index finger beneath Inuyasha’s chin. He lifted Inuyasha’s face and still, Inuyasha would not meet his gaze. “Look at me, damn it,” he growled.

‘ _Why can’t he just leave me alone? I’m no good for anyone. I don’t deserve to be alive, just like Sesshoumaru always said. Just a fuck toy now. A whore. How much lower can I sink? A worthless hanyou. No one, nothing. Just in the way of those that should be living their lives in peace,’_ he thought while attempting to turn his face away.

“Look at me, Inuyasha,” Kouga insisted and gripped Inuyasha’s jaw with his rough fingers.

Inuyasha raised his eyes to see concern in Kouga’s expression; another person that he had burdened with his detestable presence. It wasn’t fair to Kouga. The wolf prince had his own people to think about, so many responsibilities to fulfill. Kouga didn’t need to be worried about a used up filthy rag like him. He had nothing to offer Kouga.

Kouga scowled at the emptiness in Inuyasha’s eyes. “You fucking listen to me. We have things to do and you are going to enjoy doing them. Now straighten up. Come on,” he growled, turning Inuyasha around by his shoulders and giving him a shove toward the entrance.

~*~

It wasn’t so bad. The physical exertion of hunting their quarry was invigorating. The earth seemed to welcome Inuyasha’s bare feet. If only for a short while, Inuyasha’s former self enjoyed being free to breathe in the world around him. The smell of grass crushed beneath his feet, moss-covered bark, and fresh clean air was a wonderful distraction. There was no Sesshoumaru; only the prey racing before him. It was like old times; taking care of his friends’ needs. Being needed was a fulfilling thing indeed.

Kouga noticed the gradual changes in Inuyasha’s demeanor and decided that he would keep Inuyasha busy until the hanyou collapsed from exhaustion. And that he did, this day and the next, and the next until an entire week had passed. Inuyasha seemed to be more alive, more interested and involved in the daily activities of the pack. Nevertheless, Kouga still did not trust Inuyasha’s moods or motives.

He was pleasantly surprised that Inuyasha had not fought him about the sleeping arrangements. Night after night, they shared Kouga’s bed. On a couple of mornings Kouga had awakened to find Inuyasha cuddled up against him and had taken the liberty of caressing Inuyasha’s long, white mane. However, he had not tried to seduce his friend. He couldn’t have Inuyasha bolting like a scared rabbit.

And while Kouga’s thoughts were constantly tied up in occupying his friend, his senses so attuned to Inuyasha’s moods, he had completely failed to recognize the well-concealed scent of a golden-eyed, demon lord whose vision was filtered through a purple haze.

~*~

Sesshoumaru had also watched Inuyasha step away from the edge of death, had watched Kouga’s gentle yet firm treatment. Kouga had done well in protecting and providing for Inuyasha’s every need. And what had he, Sesshoumaru, done? Destroyed his brother, driven him away, and broken him. After all the tender care that Inuyasha had given him, he had thrown it away like it was dirt beneath his feet. He was not worthy of Inuyasha’s love, did not deserve him.

But oh, how he longed for it! And that longing hollowed out a gaping cavern of emptiness within his heart, leaving his body only an empty shell to harbor what little was left. How could he have known? It wasn’t as though his mind had allowed him to see what his heart desired. Inuyasha had wormed his way through the maze of defenses that Sesshoumaru had built around his heart.

And now…

‘ _It is too late_.’

Dark, tainted blood dripped through Sesshoumaru’s fingers, plopping to the ground in large, heavy drops. His claws dug into the palm of his hand as he stood with the certain knowledge that the wolf was more worthy than himself. He would never feel the caress of Inuyasha’s fingers against the skin of his back, would never feel his brother’s legs wrapped around his waist. But what couldn’t be worse was being denied waging a battle to make the grumpy hanyou smile with his eyes. Those eyes, the shimmering, golden, sunshine eyes that sparkled up through a curtain of black lace when they were younger.

” _Just say it, Sess!”_

“ _Die, brat!”_

The giggles of a certain hanyou child echoed through the halls of Sesshoumaru’s mind. Lately, the memories were coming in smaller and smaller snatches. That wasn’t the only oddity. He would find himself in the midst of a stand of trees or in a field and have absolutely no recollection of how he had arrived at his destination, nor did he have any idea where he had been intending to go. At times, he would wander, completely unaware that there were others with him until the long silences alerted him that something was not right. It was a chore to dig around in his mind for the realization that there was a human child that required his care and protection. And sometimes, he couldn’t even remember her name or the name of the toad servant that had accompanied him for decades. Or had it been longer? It didn’t matter. Nothing made sense.

Time was unimportant.

What was important?

He had forgotten.

The rough bark of the Goshinboku didn’t complain as he rested his back against the old tree.

‘ _What is it about this tree that attracts so many?’_ Sesshoumaru thought, sighing as his eyes drifted shut. Even the portion of the tree with the bark completely worn away from the fifty years Inuyasha had spent pinned against its trunk didn’t jog his memory.

“Master Jakken,” Rin whispered.

“Yes, Rin?”

“Don’t you think that Lord Sesshoumaru looks ill?”

“Don’t be silly. Lord Sesshoumaru does not get ill! Stupid girl.”

Nevertheless, Jakken had noticed. His lord had been acting strangely and the demon’s scent was off somehow. Being a toad demon, he didn’t exactly have the sharpest of senses.

“He’s too skinny and pale. And he looks lost most of the time.” Rin crept up to Sesshoumaru and knew by his soft, shallow breathing that he had fallen asleep. She studied his face for any information of what might be affecting him. It was obvious to her that he had been crushed when Inuyasha had left. But this was different, worse.

“Rin, he’s likely to slice you in half if you startle him,” Jakken warned.

Rin spared him a quick glance from the corner of her eye. “Sesshoumaru-sama would never hurt me, Master Jakken.”

She turned back just in time to see thin trickles of purple, nearly black, liquid run in tiny trails from Sesshoumaru’s tear ducts and right nostril.

“Master Jakken!” she nearly screamed.

A low growl was her only warning, but it was enough and she fell back and rolled away just as deadly claws swiped the air where she had just been kneeling.

The momentum of Sesshoumaru’s arm carried him forward and he found himself propped up on his hand coughing up thick black bile. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. However, it was the first time that his companions had observed it. He hadn’t been prepared for the physical exertion that tended to bring on these episodes. Now he would not be able to avoid their questions, their attempts to help him. He needed no one’s help. The only thing that he needed was to be left alone.

As he stared into the black sludge that his body had just rejected, it was not lost on him that the poison was settling deeper into his veins and organs. He knew this, had known it for days now. _‘I am the strongest youkai living. Why isn’t my condition improving?’_ He gazed at the black liquid that had infected him and it seemed to swallow his entire vision.

“Lord Sesshoumaru!” Rin and Jakken gasped in unison as Sesshoumaru collapsed to his side.

With their small statures, there was little in the way that they could do to make Sesshoumaru comfortable except to roll him onto his back. Rin grabbed a cloth from her pack that rested on the back of the two-headed dragon, Ah Uhn, while Jakken fetched some water.

“His skin is so cold,” Rin commented as she dabbed the liquid from Sesshoumaru’s face. Regardless of her treatment, the liquid continued seeping from the sides of his eyelids.

“Master Jakken, Ah and Uhn will take me to get help while you protect Sesshoumaru-sama,” Rin called as she ran to the two-headed dragon.

“Rin! Come back here, girl! Sesshoumaru will kill me if anything happens to you!”

“Sesshoumaru can’t hurt anybody right now. Take care of him or I’ll be the one beating you up!” she called back. “Who should we go to, Ah Uhn? Jinenji might have a potion to make Sesshoumaru well, but without Inuyasha, he might not get better at all.”

Ah Uhn snorted and took flight toward the north with Rin astride his back.

~*~

“Inuyasha-saaaamaaaa,” came a call from the sky as a shadow flew across the fields. “Inuyashaaaa!”

“What the hell?” Inuyasha scowled as the sun blinded him when he looked up.

It was a miracle that such a large, lumbering beast could defy gravity, but Ah Uhn managed it with ease, lighting gently in front of the hanyou. Hakkaku and Ginta, who had accompanied Inuyasha to the river, took a step back, leaving Inuyasha to deal with the dragon.

“Inuyasha! Lord Sesshoumaru is sick. We need your help. He’s all cold and has purple stuff coming out of him and…”

“Whoa, slow down, Rin. Tell me what happened, but slow this time okay?” Inuyasha said as he lifted her down from Ah Uhn’s back. He couldn’t tell her that he didn’t give a shit about what had happened to Sesshoumaru, but he could lend an ear and see if there was something that he would be willing to do for her. After all, she needed Sesshoumaru.

Rin swallowed and tried to find a good place to start. “After you left, Sesshoumaru started acting weird. I think he kept getting lost and couldn’t remember where he was. And he got skinny real fast. And then, today, purple stuff came out of his eyes and nose and then he coughed it up too. Now we can’t wake him up. And he’s really, really cold. And, and…here. I brought this for you to look at,” she said, pulling the stained cloth from her pocket.

“And he tried to hurt me today. Lord Sesshoumaru would never hurt me, Inuyasha-sama,” Rin whispered with pain and tears in her eyes. “Not before. Why would he do it now? I think...I think he doesn’t know who I am! He has to be really sick and I’m afraid. Is he going to die?”

These were the thoughts that had plagued Rin as she and Ah Uhn had made their way across the countryside. Would Sesshoumaru forget her? Would he die? He was her father. She couldn’t let him die. She loved him with all of her heart. Determination had ingrained itself in her bones. Her father would not die. It was not allowed.

Inuyasha wrinkled his nose and hissed, “Naraku’s poison. We didn’t get rid of it.”

‘ _I should just let him die. It would serve the bastard right. But Rin needs him.’_ Then it dawned on him. “Rin, you said that he tried to hurt you. What did he do?”

“Oh, I don’t think he really didn’t meant it. He woke up too fast, I guess. But he’s never done that before. He always knows who I am,” she said quickly in defense of her father.

“What happened?” Inuyasha pushed for details.

“I woke him up by accident and he tried to attack me, but he didn’t know it was me. And I’m okay. Really. See?” She twirled around in front of Inuyasha to demonstrate that she had not been hurt. “Can we go get some medicine from Jinenji? I know that he can help Sesshoumaru-sama, but I don’t know if he will get better if you’re not there. Please, Inuyasha, I don’t want...my father to die,” Rin said, choking on the last words.

“Shh, we won’t let your Sesshoumaru-sama die,” Inuyasha murmured as he swiped away the tears forming around the edges of Rin’s eyes. “Come on.”

Inuyasha easily lifted Rin and spun her up over his shoulders where he carried her. He didn’t smell the scent of tears and safely assumed that she had been comforted. _‘She’s a brave little thing. What the heck did she mean about me needing to be with that bastard?’_

“Why do you think that Sesshoumaru will not get better if I’m not there?” Inuyasha asked.

“Because he was so sad when you left. And sad people don’t get better. They don’t want to get better. Lord Sesshoumaru is strong and this should not happen to him. He didn’t get medicine. So, I don’t think he wants to get better. But I know that he would take medicine for you. He would do anything for you.”

Inuyasha chuckled bitterly. “I doubt it, Rin.”

“He’s just sick right now and isn’t himself. I don’t think he even knows who he is sometimes,” Rin mused.

That hit home.

Even Inuyasha knew what that felt like. Waking up and not knowing what had just happened, not recognizing his friends, not knowing who he was. Oh, he was very close friends with that feeling. Possession by his demon blood was no fun. He never knew if he would one day wake up and find that he had slaughtered those most precious to him. The thought made him clench his jaws together.

‘ _Is this happening to Sesshoumaru? Not that I care. But…maybe he wasn’t himself when he killed me. It’s possible. Maybe he didn’t really want to do it. Maybe...maybe it wasn’t his fault.’_

“Rin, what did you mean when you said that sometimes Sesshoumaru looks like he’s lost or doesn’t know who he is?”

“Well, sometimes, he’ll just stare at me for a long time, then he’ll leave and when we find him, he just looks around like he doesn’t know how he got there. And sometimes he looks at me like he doesn’t know who I am. And sometimes when he looks at me it’s scary, like he’s someone else.”

Inuyasha felt Rin shiver involuntarily and correctly deduced that Sesshoumaru had probably been contemplating killing her. He had seen that expression on more occasions than he cared to remember. _‘So he even thought about killing Rin.’_

“Rin, did he ever give Jakken the scary look?”

“Yeah…”

“Why didn’t you run away?”

“I love Sesshoumaru and want to be with him forever. I will never leave his side. He needs my help right now.”

So simple, so pure and innocent. Why couldn’t everything be so easy? She was just like Kagome. _‘Hm, she’s Sesshoumaru’s version of Kagome.’_

‘ _Kagome…’_ Inuyasha thought and reaching up fondled the earring. _‘I hope she is doing well.’_ He was surprised that he hadn’t thought of her much lately, but then again, Kouga had kept him rather busy.

“Well, Rin, we’ll try to help,” Inuyasha said, steeling his resolve for a task that could prove to be very emotionally painful. Perhaps he would find that Sesshoumaru had been under the influence of Naraku’s poison that night. Or, he would find that he really wasn’t wanted by his brother.

‘ _Not that it should matter now,’_ he sighed to himself, feeling that old familiar resignation.

Dealing with Sesshoumaru so soon efficiently twisted his guts, but he had to be strong for Rin. She was more important. Why couldn’t he have continued living like he was, forgetting the fact that Sesshoumaru had ever existed, that he had ever had a brother, someone that he loved, someone that he needed to have love him in return? He didn’t want to need Sesshoumaru’s love. _‘Damn.’_

“Can we go faster, Inuyasha-sama?” Rin asked. “Sesshoumaru-sama is really bad sick and I’m afraid to take too long.”

“Okay, but you’ve gotta promise not to scream,” he said, sliding her down his back so that she could grip his waist with her legs.

It was familiar, racing death with someone on his back. Despite the fact that it was Sesshoumaru that needed saving, he smiled as he sprinted to his top speed.

“Hey! Wait for us!” Ginta and Hakkaku complained as Ah Uhn took to the air.

~*~

Kouga watched the red and white figure streaking toward him and noted the bundle that Inuyasha carried on his back. He knew exactly what that meant.

‘ _Damn, it’s too soon. He’s not ready to deal with Sesshoumaru.’_

Then a very unwanted thought occurred to him. _‘Sesshoumaru is sick and Rin came to get help. He’ll find out that Sesshoumaru was poisoned. Fuck! I could lose him to that worthless bastard of a brother. And I’ve worked so fucking hard just to watch Sesshoumaru crush him again. I don’t trust that bastard and I can’t be there to watch out for Inuyasha twenty four hours a day. Fuck, fuck, fuck!’_

“Yo, what’s up, dog breath?” Kouga asked as nonchalantly as possible while Inuyasha skidded to a halt and squatted down to allow Rin to slip from his back.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, knowing that Kouga was not going to be happy about the fact that he was going to run off to help his brother, again.

“I’d rather we spoke privately, Kouga,” Inuyasha said hesitantly, not sure that Rin should overhear what could turn out to be a heated argument. “Rin, would you mind waiting with Ah Uhn while I have a very short talk with Kouga? We’ll hurry, I promise,” he reassured her.

Rin nodded then turned and trotted out to the field where Ah Uhn had landed. She knew well that Kouga might turn out to be an obstacle, but she was going to do her best to save Sesshoumaru.

“Rin needs my help, Kouga. Sesshoumaru still has Naraku’s poison in his body and he’s pretty sick. He’s all she’s got,” he said, though he knew that Kouga was well aware of Rin’s need for Sesshoumaru.

Kouga stood there studying Inuyasha’s features, trying to discern any emotions that Inuyasha might have concerning this new development. Things could go downhill fast if Inuyasha got his hopes up. Right now, all he could see was a need for understanding, not a lingering hope.

Inuyasha watched as Kouga didn’t even seem to be surprised or affected by the fact that Sesshoumaru was still poisoned. Why hadn’t Kouga seemed surprised? Then hit him, hard.

“You knew. You knew, didn’t you?” Inuyasha gasped.

“I will go with you,” Kouga stated, not responding to the question. “Let’s pack,” he said, turning to go to his chambers.

“Hold on just one minute! You knew and you didn’t tell me!?” Inuyasha yelled, grabbing Kouga by the shoulder, spinning him around.

“What does it matter,” Kouga spat. “He hated you then and he probably still does.”

“How could you!? How could you betray me like that?” Inuyasha demanded.

“Betray you!? Sesshoumaru’s the one that killed you! Not me,” Kouga retorted, placing his hands on his hips.

“I can’t believe you. It could have been the poison. It could have affected his mind. You saw what it did before. He wasn’t acting like himself at all. He tried to kill Rin, Kouga. And from what she said, he’s considered it several times. You put everyone around him in danger. Why would you do something like that!?”

“How was I supposed to know he would go crazy? I just wanted to get you as far away from the bastard as I could. And don’t say that you didn’t want to go. Don’t you dare,” Kouga growled.

“But he was poisoned. You would have let him die? Rin needs him.”

“I was thinking about you, no one else. Besides, there was no reason why Sesshoumaru couldn’t fight off the poison. He had already regained most of his strength. And if he didn’t, we could take care of Rin.”

“You bastard. You fucking bastard.”

Inuyasha found himself flat on his back with Kouga straddling him.

“You listen to me, you stubborn idiot. I saved your fucking life by getting you away from him. Not telling you that he was still poisoned may not have been very smart on my part, but you’re alive and that’s all that matters to me. You are all that matters to me now, Inuyasha.”

Kouga’s intense gaze bore through Inuyasha, leaving him no room to argue with Kouga’s assertion. “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me, Kouga. How could you not tell me?”

“It was easy, Inuyasha. If I had told you, we wouldn’t have left. What would he have done to you next? I didn’t want to wait around to find out. You were more important to me than him. You still are, but I will help him for Rin. Only for Rin.”

~*~

“ _Sesshoumaru.”_

He could never mistake that deep resounding voice, always so commanding of one’s attention.

“ _Father, where are you?”_ Sesshoumaru asked the darkness.

“ _You must be strong, Sesshoumaru, for those whom you love.”_

“ _He does not love me,”_ rang off the inner walls of Sesshoumaru’s mind.

“ _You are wrong, Sesshoumaru. His love is your strength. He will come for you.”_

“ _I need no one in order to be strong,”_ Sesshoumaru growled. _“My strength is my own.”_

“ _Then why have you allowed this poison to consume you? This is the one thing that I had hoped you would learn. Nothing makes us stronger than our love for one another. Love him and let him love you. You have allowed this poison’s contamination to run too deep and cannot defeat it alone.”_

“ _Leave me be, father,”_ Sesshoumaru groaned as his aching body began to weigh heavily upon him.

“ _Let him love you…”_

The voice drifted away as Sesshoumaru opened his eyes to find Jakken staring at him.

“Oh, Lord Sesshoumaru! I was so worried about you!” squawked the toad above him.

“Jakken,” Sesshoumaru hoarsely ground out. “Stop your noise before I do it for you.”

“Yes, me Lord!”

“Where is Rin?” Sesshoumaru asked after noticing the absence of his ward.

“She took Ah Uhn to get help for you, Lord Sesshoumaru,” Jakken said, wringing his scrawny little hands together in anxiety.

Groaning inwardly, Sesshoumaru sat up and rubbed his temples. Something oily clung to his fingertips and when he drew them away to look, he found them smeared in the blackening liquid that had been leaking from his tear ducts.

‘ _Damn.’_

“Jakken, you will stay here,” Sesshoumaru instructed as he rose from the ground. “Do not allow Rin to follow when she returns. Take her to the monk and the slayer,” he stated as his emaciated form shuffled deeper into the forest.

“But…but.”

A precisely aimed stone smacked Jakken on his head.

“Yes, me Lord,” Jakken sighed.

~*~

“Where is he, Master Jakken?” asked Rin as she jumped from Ah Uhn’s back.

“I don’t know, Rin, but he told me to take you to Miroku and Sango. I fear that he does not plan to return.”

“Stupid idiot,” Inuyasha scowled.

“Well, looks like we’ll have to hunt him,” Kouga said, sniffing the air.

“He’ll kill you both,” Jakken huffed. “He wants to be alone.”

“Master Jakken, Sesshoumaru-sama is too weak to hurt anyone.”

“What do you call this!?” Jakken squawked, pointing to the receding lump on his head.

“Pffft! That’s nothing,” Rin scoffed.

“Rin, you and Jakken stay here with the dragon. Kouga and I will find Sesshoumaru and bring him back so we can take him to Jinenji,” Inuyasha instructed before sniffing the air and heading deeper into the shadows of the forest with Kouga right behind.

“Do you think we’ll be able to get him to come with us?” Kouga asked as they leapt over a fallen tree.

“I’ll drag him if I have to.” Inuyasha sniffed. “The scent is getting stronger. Damn, I hate that smell. Even from hell, Naraku is getting his way,” he growled.

“You might know that Naraku wouldn’t let us off easy,” Kouga replied as they wove between the thickening wall of trees.

“Where the fuck is he? He’s right here, but I don’t see him,” Inuyasha asked himself aloud, slowing his pace.

“Look up, mutt face,” Kouga said, point his finger straight up where Sesshoumaru reclined on a fairly large tree branch.

Inuyasha looked up just in time to receive a splat in the middle of his forehead.

“What the hell?”

Even before wiping it away, he knew what had attacked him. The scent of Naraku’s poison assaulted his nose, nearly gagging him. He didn’t waste any time leaping to the branch that was cradling Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru didn’t stir as the branch slightly swayed under Inuyasha’s weight. His head was tipped forward, poison dripping from his nose and onto his lap. The pristine satin clothing was once again stained in the areas of his former wounds.

“Damn, his wounds have rotted open again. This is bad, Kouga. Even if we hurry, I don’t know if we can do anything for him.”

‘ _And it’s your fault,’_ Inuyasha thought, avoiding looking at Kouga.

It was difficult, but Inuyasha managed to balance the tall lord in his arms before leaping out of the tree. Upon landing, Sesshoumaru grunted and fluid spilled from his mouth. A lump rose in Inuyasha’s throat at the thought that he may not be able to save his brother this time. If his brother died, he would make sure that Kouga paid, and dearly.

Inuyasha’s scowl was enough to warn Kouga to keep his distance. He trailed behind, keeping his silence. _‘I don’t want to go with him, but if Sesshoumaru dies, he’s going to need someone; and I’m the only one he’s got right now,’_ Kouga pondered _. ‘Damn Sesshoumaru for not taking care of himself. Why would he do this? It’s as though he came out here to die. He did tell Jakken to take Rin to Sango and Miroku. Was losing Inuyasha so hard on him that he broke too? That’s hard to believe, but that’s exactly what it looks like. Would losing Inuyasha break me? No, I’m not near that attached to him.’_ He sighed. _‘We are only friends after all, very good friends, despite my desire for him. Can’t help it, he’s sexy as hell.’_

Inuyasha slowed his pace. “Kouga, Rin shouldn’t see Sesshoumaru like this. But, I’m not sure what to do about her.”

Inuyasha was right. Rin might _‘officially freak out’_ ; one of Kagome’s occasional phrases. Ah Uhn would definitely be needed to transport Sesshoumaru, but then Rin would be left with one less protector. That meant that either he or Inuyasha would take the dragon’s place. That settled it. Inuyasha definitely wouldn’t be left behind and there was no way in hell that Kouga was going to take Sesshoumaru anywhere. Inuyasha interrupted Kouga’s thoughts on the subject.

“Well, I’m taking Sesshoumaru to Jinenji, which leaves you to take care of Rin,” Inuyasha said. “You need to go on ahead of me and get her out of here.”

“My thoughts exactly, Inuyasha,” Kouga replied. “I’ll take good care of Rin. May kami-sama be with you,” he called as he sprinted away.

There was no question about it. Not only was Sesshoumaru a mess, but his old wounds needed dressing. Once again, Inuyasha was put in a position of ripping the regal clothing from his brother. Near panic etched Inuyasha’s face as he stripped away Sesshoumaru’s clothing. The skin beneath it was puffy and chalk gray, the color of death.

‘ _You’re not dead yet, Sesshoumaru, and I’ll be damned if you die while I’m around.’_

Once Sesshoumaru’s wounds were dressed, Inuyasha mounted Ah Uhn. “Alright, dragon. Let’s see just how fast you can fly.”

For such a thickly-proportioned beast, Ah Uhn more than pleased Inuyasha with its speed. His hair whipped wildly behind him and he was almost tempted to tell the dragon to slow down for fear that Sesshoumaru would be jostled. However, Ah Uhn’s strides were surprisingly smooth. Leave it to Sesshoumaru to obtain such a powerful yet graceful beast.

” _It seems like we’ve done this before. Hmm? Sesshoumaru? I don’t know what is happening, but I’ll help you. No promises beyond that. You hurt me in the worst way possible and I can’t...”_

Inuyasha looked at the strangely colored sky. On rare days he felt as though he could touch it, the colors so radiant and oddly hued. Today they were the palest blue at the horizon, deepening as his eyes rose to stare off into the distance. It was a painting so marvelous that it was distracting him.

” _You know, I should thank you. You should see the sky. It’s beautiful, amazing, and I would have never noticed had you not shoved my face into the dirt. From down there, the only thing I could do was look up. At least something good came out of it.”_

Inuyasha spoke in hushed whispers. Why was it so easy to talk to his brother when he knew that there would be no answer? He could save Sesshoumaru the uncomfortable need to respond and himself the pain of harsh rebuttals. _‘He can’t backtalk me that’s why.’_

Something tickled his chest. Sesshoumaru was lightly clutching the cloth of his haori, amber eyes barely opened to slits.

“You...came,” Sesshoumaru rasped then coughed up vile liquid.

“Shh, save your strength, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha murmured, tenderly resting his lips on Sesshoumaru’s forehead.

The great lord appeared so vulnerable and weak. Not just physically. It was more than that. His features appeared resigned, even in his half lucid state. Inuyasha felt as though he were holding in his arms someone else entirely. It was difficult to equate this person with the cold, hard, and powerful demon that had so casually snuffed out his life.

“It is...beautiful...,” Sesshoumaru choked then swallowed.

Inuyasha furrowed his brow, wondering just what Sesshoumaru was talking about. “Oh, the sky. You noticed, eh? Well, you were up in the trees,” Inuyasha smirked, but his eyes did not shine with humor.

“Like you...,” Sesshoumaru sighed.

“Up in the trees?”

But Sesshoumaru didn’t answer. His neck had gone limp again and his face had fallen into Inuyasha’s chest. Inuyasha lifted his head and tipped his nose into the clean rushing air, dispelling the scent of Naraku that clung to Sesshoumaru and allowing his mind to be cleansed as well.

~*~

The hanyou, Jinenji, towered over Inuyasha, his extremely large blue eyes examining the demon lord resting in Inuyasha’s arms. Inuyasha glared at Jinenji’s mother.

“Well!? Aren’t you going to do something?” Inuyasha huffed impatiently.

“He sure does stink, doesn’t he, son? I can smell it and I’m just human,” commented the old woman.

“Tell me somethin’ I don’t know. Oh! Like how to get rid of the poison!” Inuyasha exclaimed.

“Patience, Inuyasha,” soothed the ever gentle Jinenji. “Give him to me,” he said, reaching out a hand large enough to nearly cradle Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha allowed Jinenji to take his brother from him, but watched intently to be certain that Sesshoumaru was handled with the utmost care. Jinenji appeared to listen to Sesshoumaru’s chest before tipping Sesshoumaru’s upper body forward then he gave a gentle tap to Sesshoumaru’s back. Of course, it was gentle by Jinenji’s standards, but not quite by Inuyasha’s.

“Hey! What are you trying to do, beat him to death!?”

Jinenji ignored Inuyasha and repeated the treatment. Sesshoumaru, though still unconscious, coughed and sputtered, the poison spattering Jinenji’s arm as it flew from his throat.

“It is in his lungs, Inuyasha. They must be kept open. He will drown in it otherwise,” Jinenji said softly as he handed Sesshoumaru back to Inuyasha who proceeded to sit down and clean Sesshoumaru.

“I can make an elixir that will help to make him stronger, but I do not wish to attempt to treat the poison. If I were to try the wrong substance, it could kill him. This poison is powerful and I’m not willing to risk it. It would be better to simply help him fight it,” Jinenji explained.

“Help him fight it? Without something to get rid of the poison? How are we supposed to do that?” Inuyasha scoffed.

“Spiritual nourishment, Inuyasha. We all need it. Even if I had something to treat this poison, it might not have saved him. Can’t you feel how weak his heart is?”

“Well, duh. He’s sick!” Inuyasha exclaimed, exasperated. His frustration was driving him beyond the limits of sanity. While this idiot procrastinated, Sesshoumaru was dying in his arms.

“No, Inuyasha. I think you know what I mean. Is there anyone that could anchor him to this world, someone he loves?” Jinenji asked, remembering the little girl that had previously visited him to gather flowers that would save Jakken, Sesshoumaru’s servant.

“He’s a full-blooded demon, Jinenji. He doesn’t know how to love,” Inuyasha bit out, shoving his pain as far down into his gut as possible.

Jinenji didn’t miss the flash of emotion that blinked across Inuyasha’s golden eyes. “The girl, Rin. Where is she?” he asked quietly.

“I didn’t think that she should see Sesshoumaru like this. A friend of mine is taking care of her.”

“We will bathe him and clean his clothing while you retrieve her.”

“I’m not going to leave him,” Inuyasha insisted.

Jinenji gazed at Inuyasha. Though the tender beast seemed naive, he understood Inuyasha’s heart. And though he wouldn’t have normally separated Inuyasha from Sesshoumaru, the dying lord needed any and all that he loved.

“You must bring her, Inuyasha. She may be able to hold him to this world.”

Inuyasha understood what Jinenji meant and though he knew the hanyou was correct, he found the idea of leaving Sesshoumaru almost too much to bear. It had to be done though. And that was that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	9. Back to Square One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited

“Jinenji,” the old woman said. “This is not the first time that I have seen the young master. I can’t believe that I did not remember Inuyasha when he and Kagome showed up the last time, but the incident I recall now was many years ago and my mind is not what it once was.”

“Oh?” her son replied.

“It was over fifty years ago, in the days of my youth,” she sighed with a smile on her face as her thoughts drifted back to the distant past. “Sesshoumaru would not remember because he was unconscious. He had been wounded in battle and the wounds refused to heal. It was quite difficult to find out what was wrong with him. Mama figured it out. She recalled that at one time, our ancestors had been the healers for Izayoi’s family. Izayoi was Inuyasha’s mother.

“Inuyasha was born the night that his father died. The swords Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga were passed on to Inu-Taisho’s sons. Of course, that was hundreds of years ago. Together, the swords weakened the evil sword Sou’unga. Just as they had worked together to seal Sou’unga then, they work together now to bind Inu-Taisho’s children. It was Izayoi that informed us of this as her concern for her children was her utmost priority. Yes, out of her love for Inu-Taisho, she considered Sesshoumaru her son also. This story has been passed down for centuries.

“Mother wasn’t certain that the story was true or that our treatment of Sesshoumaru would work. It all seemed like an ancient fairytale passed down from one generation to the next. Nevertheless, we had to try. She sent me to get a lock of Inuyasha’s hair. The strands were woven into Sesshoumaru’s one at a time so that he wouldn’t notice.”

“How did you manage to get his brother’s hair?” Jinenji asked.

“The boy was pinned to a tree and sealed by a powerful miko. The heart within him had stopped beating. That was why Sesshoumaru was having trouble healing. I just snipped a lock and brought it home. Of course, Sesshoumaru was never told what was responsible for breaking his fever. I’m sure that his brother’s hair was eventually washed away, but it did the trick. Now, it is his brother that he needs more so than the little girl.”

Jinenji’s mother pulled a faded wooden box from her shelf and handed it to her son.

“I don’t know that it will help, but I saved some of Inuyasha’s hair. We should at least try it. It won’t cure him, but it might keep him from getting worse while his brother is gone.”

Jinenji nodded his head and proceeded outside with the box in hand, closely followed by his mother. It would take her small hands to do the delicate weaving required for Inuyasha’s strands of hair to go unnoticed.

~*~

“What are you all doing here?” Inuyasha asked the monk, tajiya and kitsune.

“Shippou wouldn’t be satisfied until he was brought to see you,” Miroku responded.

“Yeah, and we heard about Sesshoumaru, so we came right away,” Shippou added from his position, sitting on the ground beside Rin.

“Well, I came to get Rin. The old hag insists that I bring her,” Inuyasha said while rolling his eyes.

Rin’s eyes brightened at the prospect of seeing her father. “When do we leave!?”

“Now. No time to waste,” Inuyasha said as he hauled Rin up onto Ah Uhn.

“I wanna ride with Rin!” Shippou exclaimed.

“Fine. I’ll ride with you two. Kouga, you ride Kilala with Sango and Miroku. Let’s go,” Inuyasha commanded.

Everyone was surprised by Inuyasha’s no nonsense tone. He wasn’t being harsh, but he expected cooperation, no questions asked.

Once they had taken flight, Rin felt it was time to ask the question. “Inuyasha? Is Sesshoumaru any better?”

Inuyasha sighed. He didn’t want to scare her, but he couldn’t lie either. He knew what it was like to lose a parent. The feeling of loss never quite dissipated. Of course, Rin was young enough to survive, but it would be hard.

“Rin, the reason the old woman asked me to come and get you is because Sesshoumaru needs for you to help him get better. He’s not doing so good,” Inuyasha left it at that. There was no reason to give the gory details. She would see soon enough.

‘ _I just hope we are in time,’_ he thought, uncertain that his brother was likely to survive at this point and not sure that he wanted Sesshoumaru to survive.

Shippou listened intently, not only to what Inuyasha was saying, but to the tone of his voice. There seemed to be a bit of sadness, but Shippou didn’t miss the slight harshness underneath. He and Rin might be able to do something about the situation, but it would be a long shot, especially after Sesshoumaru’s actions.

Forever wasn’t what it felt like in getting back to Sesshoumaru. Eternity covered it better, even though both words meant the same thing. One just seemed to be a longer span of time than the other.

Inuyasha watched from his position, sitting on his haunches in front of the hut as Rin held Sesshoumaru’s hand. Jinenji was tapping his brother’s back, occasionally glancing over at Inuyasha and sighing. Inuyasha still disagreed that Jinenji was gentle, though he said nothing as he sat a few feet away. He was still expecting Sesshoumaru’s skin to burst open; even more so now that it had taken on a paper thin, opaque appearance. It seemed that Sesshoumaru was withering away, drying up like an over-ripe piece of fruit.

The deep purple drainage from his wounds, tear ducts and nose had spread to his ears and mouth. And it wouldn’t stop. Even from where he sat, he could hear the rattling inside of Sesshoumaru’s chest as the taiyoukai breathed. That didn’t mean he was going to give in to Jinenji’s request.

‘ _As long as I don’t have to touch Sesshoumaru, I’m not going to. Period. No one can make me.’_ The memory of that night and the morning after was too fresh and too painful, and right now, and Sesshoumaru was downright gross. He looked more dead than alive. _‘I can’t believe his still breathing. He looks like a half-rotted corpse.’_

It was disturbing, but what was worse was that Sesshoumaru’s condition tore at Inuyasha’s heart. At the same time, he wanted revenge. He desperately wanted to see Sesshoumaru die. However, if Sesshoumaru died, Inuyasha would have no way to bring him back to life. So, in a sense, the punishment would not fit the crime. If it would, Inuyasha was sure that he could put his fist through Sesshoumaru’s chest.

So, while Inuyasha brooded, Kouga stood beside him and the others sat some distance away, not wanting to interfere. The old woman hadn’t been idle and carefully studied each individual. After observing Rin’s behavior toward Sesshoumaru, Jinenji’s mother made a decision. She stalked her way over to Inuyasha and grabbed him by the ear and yanked him to his feet.

“Ow, ow, ow! What the hell was that for,” Inuyasha demanded, half wishing that he was callous enough to strangle some sense into the old woman.

“Come with me right now, you little brat,” she admonished and tugged him around the corner of the hut.

“That hurts, damn it!”

“It should! You’re not helping your brother one bit.”

“I can’t do anything!”

“Stupid, mutt. Yes, you can. You could at least touch him.”

“No,” Inuyasha muttered while slightly dropping his head so that his bangs covered his eyes.

“He will die if you don’t, Inuyasha,” she said, softening her voice.

“He’ll die anyway. Besides, he wouldn’t want a filthy hanyou like me touching him,” he whispered. “And I don’t know if I want him to live.”

The old woman absorbed what he had just said. ‘ _So that’s it. He doesn’t believe that the lord finds him worthy. His pain is clearly visible.’_ She lifted her wrinkled, dried up hand and tipped Inuyasha’s face upward.

“It doesn’t matter what you think. It doesn’t even matter what he thinks. He will not survive without your care. Can you live knowing that you could have saved him? That his fate was in your hands and you essentially killed him?” she murmured.

“He doesn’t want me. So, it won’t work,” Inuyasha said, shaking his head.

“Trust me, he does,” she said, nodding at him.

“How would you know?” he said, his voice nearly cracking from the knowledge that this debate was pointless. Sesshoumaru had never wanted him, only used him.

“Inuyasha,” she sighed and then relayed all that she had told Jinenji.

Inuyasha glared at the old woman as she spun her tale. ‘ _There is no way it could be true. That old bat is insane. Yes, definitely insane.’_ Even with those thoughts, he waited for her to finish and for her far away gaze to come back to earth.

“That’s ridiculous,” Inuyasha said with a very even tone that would have impressed even Sesshoumaru.

“Hm. I can see where you would doubt and the only way for you to know the truth would be for you to see it. By the way, how have you been feeling of late, Inuyasha?” she asked.

“I’m fine,” he huffed.

“Oh, really? That’s not what the wolf prince says.”

“I’ll kill him,” Inuyasha spat.

“Don’t bother him, boy. His ears are almost as sensitive as yours,” she chuckled.

That reminded him; his ear still hurt.

‘ _Stupid bitch.’_

“Now then! You are going to go out there, sit down, and give Sesshoumaru his treatments. I am sending Jinenji to gather herbs for the brew that will make Sesshoumaru stronger. And, you are going to be the one to give it to him this time!” she declared.

Inuyasha scowled at her until her eyes focused on his ears with an intentionally false, loving gaze.

“Fine!” Inuyasha exclaimed then stomped around the corner.

The old woman chuckled. _‘I’ve still got it! Kids, they think they own the world.’_

It didn’t matter to her that Inuyasha was over two hundred years old; in youkai terms, he was still a very young man. And though Sesshoumaru was battle hardened and intellectual, he didn’t always show the common sense that graced the older youkai; particularly where his brother and his own heart were concerned.

‘ _The youth of today...what is the world coming to?’_ she wondered as she made her way back around the corner.

~*~

Inuyasha wasn’t sure why he was being gentle with Sesshoumaru. He should take the opportunity to do some damage, but he just didn’t have it in him. It would be dishonorable to take advantage of his brother’s vulnerability. This was going to be a long night. It didn’t help that Kouga watched him constantly and the old woman stood close by to sure that he didn’t wander too far.

“Do you think that Kohaku is okay with Kalie?” Sango whispered to Miroku, worried about her brother’s still recovering mental wounds.

“I’m sure that he’s just fine, my dear Sango. I’m more worried about Inuyasha. Have you noticed how much he has changed?” Miroku asked.

“Yes. Whatever it is, it must’ve been big. I’ve never seen him act like this. I mean, he’s not being rude or gruff. He doesn’t act like Inuyasha at all. If Naraku wasn’t dead, I would think that Inuyasha was one of his incarnations,” Sango whispered.

A low growl warned her that Inuyasha’s sensitive ears had heard every word she had said.

“Do you think that Naraku’s poison made Sesshoumaru act that way?” Shippou asked, carefully wording his question so that Inuyasha wouldn’t discover the extent of his knowledge.

“Damn it, Shippou! Don’t sneak up on me like that,” Inuyasha exclaimed.

“Well? What do you think?”

Inuyasha didn’t seem to hear Shippou as he tipped back Sesshoumaru’s head and dribbled a small amount of broth past pale chapped lips. He carefully set the broth aside then began gently stroking Sesshoumaru’s throat in the downward motion in order to force the liquid down. The flow of Naraku’s poison had slowed, but Inuyasha was certain that it was only because there weren’t much of any fluids left in him.

“Yeah, I think that’s what caused it,” Inuyasha replied. “But, he always was a cold bastard and always will be.”

“But, if he didn’t mean it, doesn’t that mean that you two can be real brothers?” Shippou asked and crossed his fingers behind his back while hoping that Inuyasha would forgive Sesshoumaru.

“Probably not, Shippou. We’ll take care of him until he gets better, though.”

Rin listened to their conversation from a few feet away.

‘ _Sesshoumaru-sama will be okay, but he will be weak if Inuyasha doesn’t stay with him. I have to find a way to get them together.’_

And the plotting began anew while Inuyasha numbly went through the motions of bringing his brother back from the edge of death and taking short respites to hunt with Kouga.

~*~

_Frantic screams pierced his ears. ”Sesshoumaru! Help me! Sesshoumaru!”_

_Streaking through the forest, weaving between the cane trees, he arrived not a moment too soon as Inuyasha was tackled beneath a pile of human boys. It didn’t take much to scare them away; show a little fang and claw and they run like scared rabbits._

“ _What have you done this time, little brother?” Sesshoumaru asked as he scooped the child from the forest floor._

“ _You should know. I was born a half-breed. Isn’t that what you call me?” Inuyasha huffed, but it was difficult to appear brave while huddled in Sesshoumaru’s strong arms._

“ _Yes, that is what you are,” replied Sesshoumaru, amused at Inuyasha’s show of bravado._

“ _I’m going to grow up big and strong like you. Then I can beat them up and I won’t let you call me half-breed anymore either,” Inuyasha grumbled._

“ _So, I’m big and strong, am I?” Sesshoumaru teased._

“ _If I can beat you, I can beat anyone!”’_

It was undeniably a compliment; one that Sesshoumaru would never forget.

” _Just like I said before, Sesshoumaru. You’ll get better and we’ll fight. Nothing will ever change.”_

Sesshoumaru’s eyelids felt like leaden weights, but he managed to open them the slightest bit. Golden eyes stared at him with indifference. It hurt to see that expression directed toward him and he allowed his eyes to slide shut, effectively shielding himself from the rejection of his brother.

“Damn it! He’s out again,” Inuyasha swore.

“Inuyasha, at least he is showing improvement. That means we’ll be able to return home soon,” Kouga commented from his position, sitting against the side of the wall, watching every action and reaction, reading Inuyasha like a book.

‘ _I still don’t trust Sesshoumaru, and by the gods, I’ll have Inuyasha before he does,’_ Kouga thought while scowling at the floor.

‘ _Home?’_ Inuyasha thought as he sat with Sesshoumaru’s head in his lap.

“Kouga, my home is in the forest, so don’t go expecting me to go back with you.”

Kouga gave an exasperated sigh. “Look, Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru had never hurt Rin before this, but it was common between you two. How was I supposed to know that he’d go ape-shit and attack her? All I knew was that you were in danger and I had to get you out of there fast. Think about that. I’ll be back later,” Kouga said then rose and shuffled out the door of the hut.

Sesshoumaru’s eyes may have been closed, but he had heard every word. _‘I attacked Rin? Is she injured?’_ He tried to recall the memories, but they were too stubborn to obey him.

“Rin,” Sesshoumaru croaked involuntarily then swallowed to wet his mouth and throat.

“Rin is fine,” Inuyasha soothed then combed his fingers through his distraught brother’s hair.

“Jakken,” Sesshoumaru rasped.

“He’s fine too. Glad to see that you’re awake and at least a little coherent,” Inuyasha said and put the tiniest bit of a huff in his voice.

He had to catch himself. It wouldn’t do to show the bastard any type of soft emotion. The poison may have been affecting Sesshoumaru’s actions. It was the ‘maybe’ that concerned Inuyasha. Considering their history as siblings, the possibility that Sesshoumaru had acted of his own accord was high. _‘I’m not going to set myself up to believe that actually wants me_. _That that’ll never happen again.’_

Sesshoumaru took a deep, shuddering breath and let out in a long sigh. As the last bit of rattling air exited Sesshoumaru’s lungs, Inuyasha could have sworn that he heard an almost barely audible _‘brother’_.

” _Keh! Half-brother, half-breed, and don’t forget it!”_ were the last words Sesshoumaru heard before the darkness swallowed him.

Inuyasha would have liked to dump Sesshoumaru to the floor and then stalk out of the hut, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Instead, he carefully slid out from under his unconscious brother before stiffly making his way outside.

“Inuyasha,” came a soft call from the other side of a campfire.

“Miroku and I would like to invite you to visit us for awhile when you are finished with Sesshoumaru. We’ve missed you and so has Shippou,” Sango said from her seated position beside her new husband.

“I don’t know. I was thinking about doing a little traveling. Been around too many wolves and before that, I had to put up with all those people in Sesshoumaru’s castle. I think I need a break,” Inuyasha scowled. There were just too may people wanting more than he was ready to give and he was emotionally exhausted.

“Just think about it,” Sango asked.

“Sure thing, Sango. Where’d the wimpy wolf take off to?”

“I’m not sure, Inuyasha,” Miroku answered, looking up from a game that he had been playing with Shippou and Rin.

“Isn’t it bedtime for those two?” Inuyasha asked, anxious to have everyone asleep and out of his hair.

“Don’t worry, Inuyasha. We’ll take care of it. You can take a break and go for a run if you like. I know how much you enjoy it,” Miroku commented, knowing that Inuyasha needed much more than a run. Miroku had made careful observation of the manner in which Kouga and Inuyasha didn’t seem to flinch at being a hair’s breadth from each other, how Kouga would sometimes lightly touch Inuyasha on the arm or back, and how his presence seemed to calm Inuyasha. ‘ _Perhaps if Inuyasha were to run into Kouga, he would have time to relax for awhile.’_

As Inuyasha nodded and took off into the forest, bounding up into the highest trees, Sango turned to glare at Miroku. “Miroku, you know that when he is gone for very long, Sesshoumaru gets worse. How could you send him away like that?” Sango admonished.

“Sesshoumaru is faring better, my dear Sango, and our exhausted friend needs a respite,” Miroku cooed and leaned toward Sango while his supposedly cursed right hand that had been healed began making its way to her firm ass.

“Miroku,” Sango warned. “I said, not in public.”

“Ah,” Miroku sighed dejectedly and withdrew his hand.

Rin and Shippou glanced in the direction that Inuyasha had departed, knowing that Kouga lay in his path. It wasn’t feasible to part the two at the moment, but they would later be able to spoil Kouga’s tendency toward intimacy. So far, they hadn’t had to put much effort into it since Inuyasha had been with Sesshoumaru on a continuous basis, but the time would come when Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru would need their help.

~*~

“What brings you here, mutt-face?” Kouga asked when Inuyasha made his slow descent from the top of the trees.

“Nothing in particular, just out to stretch my legs.”

“Yeah, but why here in particular?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said and it made sense, though you still should have told me about the poison.”

“I’ll admit to that and to something else. I wanted you, but you were so affected by Sesshoumaru that I really didn’t care what happened to him as long as you were with me. At that point, I had a chance and with Sesshoumaru out of the way, my odds were greatly improved,” Kouga conceded.

“So you would have let him die just to be with me?” Inuyasha asked incredulously.

“Yes,” Kouga replied flatly, not even attempting to make excuses as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. It was the truth. He wouldn’t deny it and he had no remorse. “I know now that what you feel for him is far more than what I can offer you, but I still believe that I can give you more of what you need than he can. Caring about someone is more than just passionate moments filled with desire and lust and I don’t think that Sesshoumaru has what it takes to give you much more than that. Is that all you want, all you need, Inuyasha?”

“I at least need to be able to trust the person to be honest with me,” Inuyasha retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and mimicking Kouga.

Kouga nearly grinned at seeing his friend display his customary behavior, but now was a time of serious reflection.

“I make mistakes, Inuyasha, and so do you, so don’t go getting all high and mighty. Maybe I shouldn’t chase after you, considering how you feel about Sesshoumaru, but I’m going to do it anyway, consequences be damned! You make mistakes. I make mistakes. Sticking together and cleaning up the aftermath is what really matters. Sesshoumaru would never even admit to making a mistake, much less fix it! Is that the kind of relationship that will make you happy? I don’t think so and I’m going to prove it to you,” Kouga announced quite loudly. “I’ll remain your friend and if you are ever ready for more, I’ll be there, waiting. You’ll figure it out eventually,” Kouga scowled before stalking off into the darkness. _‘He’s such a puppy!’_

He knew that Inuyasha needed time, but he would not be unreasonably judged and invite dismissal. _‘It doesn’t matter that Inuyasha is one of the most powerful hanyou I know, he still needs my protection. He’s still too vulnerable. Hell, with that human side, he’ll always have a soft nature compared to most youkai.’_ Sure, he was always gruff on the outside, but the fact that he could put up with a whiny kitsune and a miko that constantly slammed his face into the ground was proof enough that Inuyasha would put up with just about anything from those for whom he cared. Kouga would be damned if Sesshoumaru used that vulnerability to hurt his best friend, and hopefully, his soon to be lover. Kouga wasn’t giving up just yet.

“Hey, wimpy wolf!” Inuyasha called from a few feet away.

“Now what?” Kouga called back, attempting to sound exasperated though a smile threatened the corners of his lips.

“Okay,” Inuyasha sighed as he shuffled up to Kouga. “We’ll fix this together and I’ll try to trust you. Just don’t expect any miracles. You really did help me through a lot and I haven’t paid you back. So, I still owe you.” He nodded to affirm his words.

“Well, that’s the best news I’ve heard in awhile. Thanks, Yash.”

‘ _Yash?’_ Inuyasha stared at the wolf quizzically, tilting his head just the slightest bit to the side, which brought to mind the mannerisms of a confused puppy.

“Get used to it, dog. Your name just has too many sounds in it. Take ‘Kouga’ for example, two, simple.” Kouga counted on his fingers as he sounded out Inuyasha’s name in his head. “There are four in yours; way too long if you ask me.”

Inuyasha scowled. “It’s the name my father gave me.”

“And I’m your friend, not your father. Lighten up, flea bag. You were Inuyasha to your father. You look like a ‘Yash’ to me. You’ll get used to it.”

“Fine,” Inuyasha huffed. With all that he owed Kouga, he could tolerate something so small.

“Good,” Kouga said softly with a small smile and a spark of hope in his cerulean eyes. Although he didn’t want to push, he couldn’t help but reach out to the confused and irritated man that had become so much to him. He stepped forward and wrapped Inuyasha up in his strong warm arms for a light embrace. He would have let go, but Inuyasha buried his head into Kouga’s chest and let out a deep breath.

“I’ve felt so confused and alone, Kouga. I make decisions of what is best for me in my head, but my heart fights me every step of the way. You’re smarter than I used to think. I should walk away from Sesshoumaru and let him die like you would. He would do the same thing to me...but I can’t. I just can’t,” Inuyasha muttered, moving his face rest it in the crook between Kouga’s neck and shoulder.

“I understand, Yash. It’s a part of your human side and nothing to be ashamed of. Kagome taught me that,” Kouga said, tightening his hold.

“Gods, you feel good,” Inuyasha sighed. “And I’m so tired.”

“Well, let’s get back and you can get some sleep,” Kouga said, gently pushing Inuyasha away. Even if Inuyasha got carried away, he would regret it later and Kouga couldn’t have that. Slow, that’s how he intended to take things.

As they entered the camp, Sango hurried toward them. “He’s been asking for you. Well, sort of dreaming or something and he keeps saying your name, Inuyasha. I think he’s in pain. He always gets worse when you’re away,” Sango whispered.

‘ _I’m so tired of all this. I’ll be glad when this is all over and I won’t even have to think about him anymore,’_ Inuyasha thought as he trudged into the hut.

Kouga noticed the slump in Inuyasha’s shoulders when he walked toward the hut.

Once inside, Inuyasha could see the sheen of sweat covering Sesshoumaru’s face, reflecting the silver light from the stars. Sesshoumaru seemed to be fighting harder to breath, but at least he looked a little stronger. His skin had filled out enough that he didn’t look like a year old dead corpse: no, maybe only a couple of weeks old now.

The old woman had insisted that they share a room in order for Inuyasha’s scent to surround him. Despite her old wife’s tale, why the old hag thought he could bring Sesshoumaru around was beyond him. Sesshoumaru’s progress could easily be attributed to the care he was receiving.

‘ _It’s just so damn hard to be this close to him. He said that he loved me and he let me love him,’_ Inuyasha remembered as a familiar pain stabbed through his chest. _‘No, I won’t do this. I won’t care about him anymore. I don’t need the bastard,’_ he scowled, sitting behind the pale frame that was shifted to the side.

He noted that Sesshoumaru’s breathing had become more labored since he had been away and the black discharge had begun draining from Sesshoumaru’s eyes and nose again.

‘ _At least it’s coming out of him,’_ Inuyasha hoped. The sooner Sesshoumaru was over this, the better.

Inuyasha rolled Sesshoumaru onto his belly and began thumping the back of the frail body. Sesshoumaru coughed up more of the vile fluid as Inuyasha held a cloth beneath his face. Once he had finished his treatments, he grabbed a clean cloth and wet it from a bowl of water before swiping the inside of Sesshoumaru’s mouth clean. He was surprised by the bared fangs and the low snarl emitted by the demon. Sesshoumaru was indeed improving.

“He needs his brother’s touch,” the gruff old woman said, standing in the doorway with Rin.

“I just did!”

“Not just that, Inuyasha. Rin, you may go to Sesshoumaru now.”

“She’s supposed to be in bed,” Inuyasha huffed.

At Inuyasha’s comment, a small snarl floated across the room.

The old woman gave Rin a gentle push. “Go on, Rin,” the old woman encouraged.

Rin didn’t need to be told twice. Inuyasha stood to move away when she rushed over to Sesshoumaru and knelt by his head. Tentatively, she held out her hand and carefully tucked Sesshoumaru’s hair behind his ears. His hair was so soft, even now in his current state of emaciation. A soft hum echoed through the room as she combed her fingers through his hair and stroked his upper right arm. Words of comfort began to form for her father. She let him know that he was her world and that she would always be there for him.

Inuyasha watched with surprise as Sesshoumaru’s breathing became less labored. The TaiYoukai’s aura seemed to shift and Inuyasha could feel the warmth radiating from him. “I can’t do that, old hag.,” he said, waving at Rin. “He hates me. It would never work.”

“Lord Sesshoumaru loves you, Inuyasha-sama,” Rin piped up. “He got sick real fast after you left. He missed you really bad.”

“You’re dreaming, kid. That was the poison.”

“No, Sesshoumaru-sama doesn’t like to tell people that he has feelings because he thinks that no one can hurt him if he does that. He let you know though. You’re special to him,” Rin said with uncommon seriousness.

Inuyasha stood in silence, confused as to how to answer the child. How could he explain to her the complex relationship that he and his brother shared? It just wasn’t possible.

Now, for the coupe de gras. “Inuyasha, if you go away, I believe that Sesshoumaru-sama might die.”

It was only a little white lie. Her father was too strong to die, but he needed Inuyasha. She knew that the great inu-youkai would be weakened by Inuyasha’s departure. He would never be the same. Oh, he was never very warm to begin with, but that was only on the surface. She knew that. And she would also know his sadness and that just wasn’t acceptable. His happiness had suddenly become her responsibility and she would see it through.

‘ _She believes he’ll die without me? That’s terrible! He won’t die. We’ll both be better off when I leave. I just won’t say anything. She’ll see,’_ Inuyasha thought. Her silly notions would dissipate once Sesshoumaru was well. Inuyasha was certain of it.

“Rin, it is time for bed,” the old woman instructed then glared at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest and humphed.

“You have such cute tender ears, Inuyasha,” the old woman threatened with a sickeningly sweet voice.

Inuyasha’s eyes widened in horror. The old hag had learned his weakness and continually used it to her advantage. With a scowl, Inuyasha plopped down beside Sesshoumaru. Nodding, the old woman turned to leave.

“Don’t forget, touch is very important,” she said as she walked away with Rin’s hand tucked in hers.

At least it wouldn’t be so embarrassing with no one around to see it. Inuyasha’s eyes suddenly became heavy with fatigue. It had been a long day. The old hag had made him responsible for all of Sesshoumaru’s care and with his long run he just couldn’t keep his eyes open.

Sesshoumaru’s futon wasn’t that large, but as tired as he was, it would have to do. Uncomfortably snuggling up to Sesshoumaru’s back, he let an arm drape over his brother’s waist. Despite his fatigue, that old ache stirred; the ache for acceptance, for his brother’s love, and then, the knowledge that it would never be his welled up inside of his chest and twisted his stomach.

Unconsciously, Inuyasha curled his body around Sesshoumaru, seeking comfort where he expected none.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	10. Growing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unedited and unbeta'd. Please remember, Inu has had his heart demolished and needs a little TLC. He’s not a whore. He just needs a little help.

Warmth heated Inuyasha’s back and legs as he fought the fog of sleep. Hoping to wake himself further, he nuzzled his face into the soft cloth beneath his face. What he didn’t expect, and what brought his mind to full and disturbed wakefulness, was the strong scent of his brother, right beneath his nose.

‘ _That cloth is too smooth to be a blanket,’_ he thought as he slowly opened his eyes.

His head was resting on his brother’s right arm and he was tucked into his brother’s body.

‘ _Fuck!’_

Inuyasha struggled to release himself from the tangle of Sesshoumaru’s legs and, in the process, must have harmed his brother, for a grunt and whimper escaped the soft pink lips, wafting small puffs of air across Inuyasha’s ear. A crimson blush stained Inuyasha’s cheeks and burned his ears. After, examining his position, he carefully constructed a plan of escape. First, the foot; slide it out, wrap the calf to the outside and push Sesshoumaru’s leg away. Roll onto stomach, and inch away. Done!

‘ _That was a pain in the ass,’_ Inuyasha sighed to himself as he stumbled out into the glaring sunlight and into the overly loud banter of his friends. Maybe the raised volume was just his imagination, but he doubted it.

“Oi! Keep it down. Are you trying to bust my ears?!” Inuyasha bellowed, showing his ill temper.

“Why, Inuyasha, what has you in such distress this fine morning?” Miroku inquired.

“You’re just too damn loud, that’s all.”

“You didn’t sleep much, did you?” asked Kouga, a bit concerned. He knew the hanyou’s moods and the reasons behind them. Speaking of which, he missed Inuyasha in his bed as well.

“As a matter of fact, I didn’t sleep all that great and I might just haul ass to the nearest quiet cave and take a nap!” Inuyasha snapped before taking off for the forest.

“I’ll come with you,” Kouga called.

“Fuck off! I need to be alone.”

Inuyasha didn’t even bother looking back when he bound into the trees, gaining height with each branch until he was far above the forest floor. It didn’t matter how high or how fast he ran, he couldn’t outrun the scent of Sesshoumaru that clung to his entire body. Even his hair was drenched in it. A bath and a nap without any speaking creatures nearby was exactly what he needed.

‘ _I’ll nurse the bastard back to health, make sure that poison is gone, and then take some time out away from civilization. How could Naraku have gotten so strong that he could have done anything to hurt Sesshoumaru? I have never seen anything like it. People have thrown some kick ass poison at him before and he never flinched. It has never affected him at all. It was probably that damn jewel. I hope that Kagome used it to seal the well like I told her to...’_

Unceremoniously, he was slammed from behind. Tumbling head over heels, quickly losing altitude and momentum as branches sliced through his fire rat robe, he landed on his back in an area that was lightly wooded, taking out a few trees in his slide to a stop.

‘ _What the fuck?’_

And then, everything went black...

Far away from the unconscious hanyou, eyelids flew wide and black pupils dilated then burned with the flame of the cooking fire.

“Inuyasha,” rasped Sesshoumaru.

“Lord Sesshoumaru! You’re awake!” Rin cried gleefully.

“Inuyasha...danger,” Sesshoumaru coughed, pushing himself up from the mat as dark purple fluid splattered the blanket.

“Lord Sesshoumaru, you’re sick and shouldn’t get up,” Rin exclaimed.

On shaking legs, Sesshoumaru shuffled to the door of the hut. Several pairs of eyes raised and stared at him in disbelief.

“Sesshoumaru,” Sango gasped, jumping to force the demon lord back to his bed.

“Inuyasha is...in danger,” Sesshoumaru gurgled out again.

“You heard the Master!” the old woman screeched. “Find Inuyasha and help him.”

“But, my lady, how would Sesshoumaru know that Inuyasha is in danger? He is obviously hallucinating,” Miroku asked.

“I don’t have time to explain. Now, go! All of you! Except the young ones. Leave them here.”

In no time, the adults were grabbing their weapons and readying themselves for a battle.

As the darkness receded, Inuyasha could feel something heavy weighing on his chest. He opened his eyes to find blue feathers hovering over him. He was trapped in the claws of a Bird of Paradise.

‘ _Didn’t we kill all those things?’_ Inuyasha asked himself.

“Where is the wolf prince, hanyou?” the strange humanlike figure, growing from the bird’s head inquired.

“He doesn’t have any shards, so fuck off!” Inuyasha grunted as he tried to work himself free of the bird’s talons.

“It is not the jewel that I seek. It is revenge. Now, where is he?!”

“Fuck you,” Inuyasha growled as he gave a mighty shove.

The bird stumbled backward, raking a claw down the center of Inuyasha’s chest and abdomen in its retreat. Blood welled up and spilled over his torso as he leapt away from the bird youkai.

“I am getting so sick and tired of having to wash blood out of my clothes, you idiot! It’s getting to be a real pain in the ass!” Even now, Inuyasha’s mood hadn’t changed a bit. The beast barely had time to flinch before one of its wings fell to the ground.

“Aagh!” the bird cried out in pain while knowing that it would never take flight again and that this hanyou now had the advantage.

“Here birdie, birdie, birdie,” Inuyasha taunted from behind the beast. He was in a foul mood and a fight was just what he needed to work off some stress. Perhaps a game of cat and mouse, or rather, dog and bird would be entertaining.

“You will pay for that,” the bird screeched as it hopped around and charged Inuyasha with its toothy maw wide open.

“Too slow!” smirked Inuyasha, showing a little fang. He bounded away and sliced off the bird’s other wing before landing behind it. A howl tore from the creature that was sticking out of its head.

“Hehe. What made _you_ think that you could ever beat _me_?” Inuyasha asked as he pulled Tetsusaiga from its sheath.

“Kaze...eh?”

A white light streaked across the birds back. The bird stood there for a moment, then, as though in slow motion, it slid to the ground in several pieces, dead.

‘ _What the hell?’_

Inuyasha swung his sword to the right in preparation to cleave in half the white ball of energy when it streaked back toward him. However, it stopped just five feet away and dissolved into a youkai lord wearing a white nightgown. Had it not been for the black dried stains, Sesshoumaru would have looked the picture of tranquil beauty. The spell was broken, however, when he began stumbling toward Inuyasha.

‘ _What is he doing here? He wasn’t even conscious an hour ago.’_

It was a sad sight to watch the once noble lord struggling to stay standing, much less walk. Should he meet Sesshoumaru half way? No. Sesshoumaru came to him, not the other way around. What would Inuyasha do anyway? There was no reason to approach the youkai. He hadn’t asked for help and didn’t need it. The old anger and hurt were definitely still there, but right now, confusion was more prominent.

‘ _Why did Sesshoumaru come here? Did he know about the bird? How could he?’_

While Inuyasha attempted to understand just what was happening, Sesshoumaru was slowly, but surely, making his way to the bloody hanyou. Inuyasha hadn’t realized that he had dropped his eyes to the dirt until bare feet stepped into his line of sight. He shifted his eyes up to see what appeared to be a look of concern on the TaiYoukai’s features. Talk about out of place.

“What’re you doing out of bed?” Inuyasha said gruffly, attempting to break the awkward silence.

“You’re hurt,” Sesshoumaru rasped and reached out a trembling hand to examine the damage done by Inuyasha’s attacker.

“I heal fast. Now, answer my question.”

For a moment, Inuyasha thought that Sesshoumaru was going to try and kiss him. Amber eyes focused on his own brilliant gold. As Sesshoumaru’s eyelids began to droop, he leaned in. Inuyasha took an apprehensive step back only to catch Sesshoumaru as he fell unconscious. He grunted under the weight and irritation to his wounds.

“I can’t get away from you! I just can’t get the fuck away from you!” Inuyasha raged as he lowered his brother to the ground.

“Stupid idiot!” he groused as he inspected Sesshoumaru’s old wounds that the poison had invaded again. “Why did you have to come here anyway?!”

It wasn’t as though Sesshoumaru could hear him. He was out cold; cold and clammy to be exact.

“I’ve gotta warm you up. You’re freezing.”

Ignoring the searing pain from his protesting wounds, Inuyasha hoisted Sesshoumaru over his shoulder and sniffed out the nearest hot spring. A nearby pond would have been more convenient, but wouldn’t have provided the warmth that Inuyasha felt Sesshoumaru needed. Fifteen minutes later found the brothers disrobed with Sesshoumaru in Inuyasha’s lap. While Inuyasha cleansed Sesshoumaru in the slow current of the shallows, their attire was soaking further down the beach.

Oddly enough, the steam seemed to be having much more of a beneficial effect than Inuyasha had expected. Sesshoumaru’s circulation was improving, his skin becoming supple. With each passing moment, the tainted fluid, seeping from his eyes and nose, became less viscous.

‘ _Maybe keeping him here would help get rid of the poison quicker,’_ Inuyasha thought as he poured handfuls of water over Sesshoumaru’s face.

Without warning, Sesshoumaru began a horrendous coughing fit.

“Fuck!”

Inuyasha shot to his feet, turning Sesshoumaru’s back to himself. He draped Sesshoumaru over his left arm and followed Jinenji’s instructions, lightly pounding Sesshoumaru’s back, forcing more of the nearly black vile fluid from Sesshoumaru’s lungs. There had never been so much, but the consistency was thinner.

‘ _Maybe the steam is breaking it up and he was drowning in it.’_

That wasn’t a very pleasant thought and Inuyasha made certain that he continued his ministrations until Sesshoumaru seemed to have rid himself of the offending refuse. By that time, the water gently lapping at Inuyasha’s thighs had lost much of its clarity and Inuyasha decided to move away from the contaminated area. Not only was it filthy, but the haze was a reminder of Naraku’s miasma and he wasn’t particularly fond of those memories. It was bad enough that the shit was destroying Sesshoumaru’s body from the inside out.

Once again, Inuyasha had to take on the task of cleaning Sesshoumaru, including his nostrils and mouth. He was glad that he had never been required to be a healer. Dealing with bodily fluids on a daily basis was simply unimaginable. He’d been covered with enough youkai blood and guts to last him a couple of centuries.

During the entire cleaning process, Inuyasha could feel his own wounds puckering, opening and closing as he shifted for better positioning. It was irritating more than anything. Pain had been his constant companion for decades. After all, he was a hanyou and his life had been far from easy.

He gazed at Sesshoumaru and noticed that the steamy heat from the springs had leant a nice pink hue to Sesshoumaru’s skin. Even Sesshoumaru’s pale cheeks had gained some color. His face, always tight and controlled, was now soft and vulnerable once more. Inuyasha’s mind drifted back to their previous trip on Kilala’s back after the battle with Naraku and how defenseless and vulnerable that Sesshoumaru had appeared then; how he had coddled, comforted, and worried over his brother. He gazed at the mighty fallen lord that rested so helplessly in his arms and, despite his own wishes, the desire for his brother welled up and rode over him like an avalanche.

‘ _It couldn’t hurt to indulge myself just a little bit, could it? No one was watching and the old hag had said that touch was important. What harm could come of it? The old hag had insisted that touch was integral to Sesshoumaru’s survival,’_ he rationalized.

Against his better judgment, Inuyasha started down a path that he’d sworn he would never travel again. With hesitant trembling fingers, he traced the two lavender stripes on the left side of Sesshoumaru’s face. The texture had softened with the recent treatments. Without a thought, he combed the silver mane away from Sesshoumaru’s temple and folded it behind the pointed elfin ear. Though Sesshoumaru’s ears were not covered in fur as Inuyasha’s were, they did have a downy softness and Inuyasha found himself tracing the edges ever so gently. The lump, forming in his throat, refused to dissipate and he was left trying his best to hold back the tears threatening to make real his pain at Sesshoumaru’s rejection.

“Why, Sesshoumaru? Why? Was it the poison or is this who you really are? Do you hate me so much? Will I never be good enough for you? I think you owe me, Sesshoumaru. And after what you did, if I have to steal it, it’s my right,” Inuyasha nearly sobbed against the shell of Sesshoumaru’s ear.

He pulled away and drank in the sight of his brother’s peaceful visage. Just to be certain that he wasn’t discovered, Inuyasha kept his eyes trained on Sesshoumaru’s closed eyelids as he hovered then began that eternally slow descent toward those succulent pink lips that begged to be caressed. Satin flesh met on a whisper that threatened to grow into a song. Inuyasha’s lips tingled with insatiable hunger at the light touch. Since he had already become the thief, there was no reason not to steal more, no reason to restrain his mounting need for this last touch. He should have stopped there, should not have given in to the temptation in the first place, but the pull was much too great for him to ignore. Even now, the hint of Sesshoumaru’s musk entreated him to pilfer a taste. The pliant flesh beneath his lips did not protest when he brushed his lips back and forth, nor after he suckled a path around Sesshoumaru’s mouth. Inuyasha could not hold back the whimpering moan when he traced the curves of Sesshoumaru’s lips with his tongue.

By now, Inuyasha’s eyes were closed. Sensation was his vision. By the gods, it was hard to touch Sesshoumaru knowing that he would never be allowed if Sesshoumaru was awake. He felt as though his heart was rending itself in two. Need and denial battled in a war that had already been lost. The last vestige of Inuyasha’s control waned when Sesshoumaru parted his lips as though inviting Inuyasha to plunder his depths. It was the last straw. Tears slipped past the dam as Inuyasha cupped Sesshoumaru’s face in the palms of his hands and tenderly savored the sweet warmth of Sesshoumaru’s mouth with trembling lips. With the full dose of scent and taste, flashes of his night with Sesshoumaru flooded his mind. A small whine escaped Inuyasha as he deepened the kiss, losing himself in the memories of Sesshoumaru’s tender touches.

It was a wonderful dream, or perhaps he was reliving a memory. Sesshoumaru wasn’t certain. He wanted to embrace Inuyasha, but his body would not obey him. So, he contented himself with reveling in Inuyasha’s attentions. Suddenly, the thief became the victim. Sesshoumaru’s tongue caressed Inuyasha’s in languid strokes, making tender love to his brother’s mouth.

Inuyasha’s tears flowed more freely. If Sesshoumaru was awake, what was his intention, to make him suffer more? Or was Sesshoumaru still unconscious and reflexively responding to Inuyasha? Regardless, it still hurt like hell. But that wasn’t enough to deter the reckless hanyou. His hunger for that love so long denied was overwhelming, so excruciatingly painful. In his state of starvation, he strove for more, deepening the kiss, devouring the youkai that had fully captured his heart and soul.

‘ _I love you, Sesshoumaru, so much that it hurts and I know that I will never have you. I hope it hurts you just as much as this hurts me...though, I doubt that you care.’_ The words whispered in the dark recesses of Inuyasha’s more logical mind.

Wind blustered against Inuyasha’s hair carrying the scent of the fire cat. Reluctantly, Inuyasha left the gentle warmth of Sesshoumaru’s mouth and rested his forehead against Sesshoumaru’s.

“I’ll always love you, Sesshoumaru, no matter what,” Inuyasha admitted in a bare whisper.

‘ _Is it possible that I crave him to the point of imagining that Inuyasha would say such a thing? No, he hates me now and rightfully so. He is lost to me,’_ Sesshoumaru thought as silent darkness began to engulf him in its familiar presence.

Inuyasha rinsed the salty liquid from his face. It was only moments before his friends reached them.

“Hey, dog turd, how did his highness get here so fast? Are you okay?” Kouga called from the treeline as he blew into the small clearing.

“Sesshoumaru said that you were in danger,” Miroku informed Inuyasha and hopped down from Kilala.

Sango had a hand over her eyes while her cheeks blushed a nice rosy pink. She decided that she would stay mounted on Kilala’s back until she had made certain that Inuyasha was alright and that both men were dressed.

“Keh! I wasn’t in any danger! I can take care of myself,” Inuyasha snorted from his rather compromising position. _‘He knew that I was in danger?’_

Inuyasha really didn’t have time to sit and mull over Sesshoumaru’s actions or discuss trivialities. He and Sesshoumaru were naked in front of a host of people. Fortunately, most of their bodies were beneath the surface of the water.

“Look. I’m fine. Could you guys just give me time to get cleaned up and dressed?”

“What’s that on your chest, Inuyasha?” Kouga asked as he stared at the ugly gash. “Did Sesshoumaru do that?”

“No! He didn’t. Now back off.”

“Sango, my heart?” the houshi intoned sweetly, turning to gaze at his embarrassed companion. “Would you mind going back to Kaede’s and gathering some bandages? It looks as though our friend needs some medical attention, as well as some time to make himself presentable.”

Sango was more than happy to oblige. She never once took her hand from her eyes while she and Kilala turned and took flight once more.

“Would you like some help? It can’t be easy taking care of Sesshoumaru with your wounds still open like that,” Kouga asked as he tentatively approached the waters edge.

Inuyasha had to admit that the water stung his wounds and the constant shifting of his carved flesh was irritating. Of course, he would never admit, even to himself, that it was quite painful; just...uncomfortable. After a few moments of hesitation, Inuyasha made certain that Sesshoumaru’s right arm covered the essentials then stood up. He hadn’t expected that the exposed wounds had somewhat stiffened.

“Um...okay. You guys take him,” Inuyasha muttered, berating himself in the process.

Miroku and Kouga looked hesitantly at each other. “I’ll get the shoulders. You get the feet, Miroku,” Kouga finally suggest. Miroku nodded without complaint.

Inuyasha trudged after them, pointing them in the direction of a spot of soft grass. “I’m gonna go wash the clothes.”

“Hold on a minute, mutt. You’re wounded. Why don’t you get ‘em, Miroku. I’ll take a look at Inuyasha’s wounds.”

“Hey! I don’t need any help. I heal just fine on my own!”

“Say it enough times and maybe you’ll believe it,” Kouga grunted as he and Miroku gently laid Sesshoumaru on the grass. “Now let me have a look.”

Kouga stepped to the side and used one of his wrist cuffs to swipe away the blood that drained from the long gash in the center of Inuyasha’s torso while Inuyasha flushed and grumbled his displeasure at being treated as though he were some kind of weakling. While the two were awkwardly interacting, Miroku trotted off to rinse and wring out the wet clothing.

The grass that Sesshoumaru lay on was nice and cool, but compared to the heat of the water, it was down right frigid; which was what brought Sesshoumaru out of his exhausted sleep. And what was the first thing that he saw? The Wolf Prince appeared to be pawing his Inuyasha and the whore of a hanyou was allowing it! There were no thoughts behind the jealous rage that overtook Sesshoumaru. With eyes bleeding red, lips curled back, and fangs bared, a snarl ripped from his throat. Thankfully, the expenditure of even that small amount of energy knocked him back into oblivion.

Two sets of eyes snapped down to stare at the unconscious TaiYoukai. “Must’ve been a bad dream,” Kouga commented.

“Keh!” Inuyasha snorted. _‘Maybe he saw us and is jealous. Yeah, right._ ’ He nearly rolled his eyes at his own stupidity.

Apparently, Miroku had finished wringing out the clothing and set them out to dry on a sun scorched boulder. “The clothes should be dry in no time at all. In the meantime, we need to get Sesshoumaru covered,” he said as he stared down at the rather handsome Sesshoumaru.

‘ _Would Sango be more attracted to him than she might be to me?’_ he wondered. He quickly removed his purple outer clothing and draped it over Sesshoumaru. “It looks as though you did not have the opportunity to clean your wounds, Inuyasha. Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll keep an eye on our patient,” he suggested.

‘ _Perfect,’_ Kouga smirked. “I’ll clean the scrapes on your back,” he quickly volunteered as he stripped and let his hair down before Inuyasha could protest.

“Fine, suit yourself,” Inuyasha said as he stomped back into the spring.

It seemed as though the hanyou had barely progressed in lightening his mood and Kouga hoped to help wash away some of his tension. Of course, it wouldn’t do much good for the lust ridden wolf. He knew that he would be left high and dry. But that didn’t matter. After being deprived for too many days, he would be allowed to touch Inuyasha. On top of that, his friend had been spending way too much time with Sesshoumaru. As far as he was concerned, that was an unwelcome threat to Inuyasha’s fragile emotionally stability. Lust aside, Inuyasha was his friend. He could not allow Inuyasha to become attached to the one person that he felt was a threat to Inuyasha’s safety. Now was the perfect opportunity to nip that choking weed in the bud. Spying a small cove where he and Inuyasha could have some privacy, Kouga snatched Inuyasha’s hand and pulled him around a small outcrop of boulders.

“Now, let me see those wounds again,” he demanded. “Turn around. I haven’t seen much of your back yet.”

Surprisingly enough, Inuyasha obeyed. He had come to trust Kouga and knew that showing Kouga the few scrapes would ease the wolf’s mind.

“Those aren’t so bad,” Kouga commented.

“Keh, I told you, I’m fine.”

“That one in front is pretty bad, Inuyasha. We’ll get you patched up after you’re clean. Why don’t you dip down in the water and I’ll get all of this dirt out of your hair.”

It wasn’t as though he hadn’t bathed with the wolves many times, and his hair was matted with dirt, leaves, and twigs. Inuyasha sank into the water as Kouga combed his claws through the thick mane and dislodged all of the debris. As Inuyasha drew himself back up out of the water, Kouga gathered the hair in his hands and pressed out the water then draped the full of it over Inuyasha’s left shoulder. He caressed Inuyasha’s back, careful not to harm the bruises and small scrapes.

“I have missed you, Inuyasha. My bed is cold without you there,” Kouga commented.

Inuyasha responded after a moment of silence. “I’ve...sorta missed you too. I guess I got used to it.”

“I’m worried about you. You know…spending all that time with Sesshoumaru has to have had some effect on you and you were so grouchy today. You’ve been sad, too. I can smell it, no matter how hard you try to hide it.”

“It’s hard, Kouga,” Inuyasha admitted, trying to swallow the lump that was rising in his throat. Yes, it was difficult and he was thankful to have such a good friend to confide in.

Kouga sighed. “Once he’s well, you should get as far away from him as possible.”

“I was thinking the same thing. I need to be alone for awhile.”

“That might not be a good idea. You should be around friends at first. I don’t want you getting all depressed again.”

“Your advice has been pretty good so far. I’ll think about it,” Inuyasha muttered, not really wanting to be around a group of people. He just wanted to be alone to work out his frustration and forget about everything.

Despite the minor pain of Kouga’s touches, having someone show some care was a welcome feeling. The experience of sleeping against Kouga seemed to have had sated his need for reassuring touches. The recent lack of it had left him feeling alone again.

‘ _So far, so good,’_ Kouga commended himself as his hands lightly traveled from Inuyasha’s shoulders and down the well-muscled arms.

“I really have missed you,” he whispered into Inuyasha’s ear then smiled at the small twitch. “Turn around and let me look at your wound again.”

With the knowledge that it was already healing, Inuyasha acquiesced. He couldn’t understand why everyone thought that he couldn’t heal fast enough. But he always gave into their need to treat him. If it made them happy, he didn’t mind; it always shut them up.

“You do heal fast. It’s just down to a deep scratch,” Kouga mused and ran his hands alongside the wound, caressing Inuyasha’s chest and abs.

He made sure to allow the barest touch over Inuyasha’s nipples and noticed how they hardened. Though Inuyasha hadn’t made a sound, he saw the slight shiver and took that as a sign that he could go a step further.

“You are beautiful, Inuyasha,” Kouga murmured before glancing up and seeing Inuyasha staring at him in contemplation.

“I wish I could believe that, but I’m deformed.” A look of pain flashed behind Inuyasha’s eyes as he pointed to his ears. “I should have ears like yours.”

“No, you should have the ears that you were born with. Not everyone sees you as Sesshoumaru does. Your ears really are cute,” Kouga chuckled.

“Cute?! Keh! That’s ridiculous!” Inuyasha exclaimed, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“No, it’s very attractive to some. You know that Kagome thought so or she wouldn’t have been trying to touch them so much. Yeah, I noticed.”

Inuyasha blushed as Kouga’s large masculine hands trailed down his waist to rest on his hips and then gave a gentle squeeze.

“I’ve been very patient,” Kouga whispered, gazing into the brilliance of Inuyasha’s golden eyes. “I can still wait, but why don’t you let me relieve some of your tension.”

Inuyasha furrowed his brow, hesitant to believe what it was that Kouga was offering. Right now, he could use some comforting touch. “And just what do you mean?”

Kouga ran his hands around to the small of Inuyasha’s back and leaned in to nuzzle Inuyasha’s cheek. At least Inuyasha wasn’t becoming indignant and trying to get away. Being with the pack must have reduced his hesitancy at others’ touches. But when his hands met with the round globes of Inuyasha’s ass, there was a slight jerk in Inuyasha’s torso, so he dipped his hands further down to Inuyasha’s thighs.

“I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to. Just tell me when to stop.”

Inuyasha relaxed a little and nodded his head, wondering all the while why he would allow Kouga to molest him. He was lonely…and his heart had been torn to shreds. That had to be the reason. Because he had already crossed the barrier of sexual intimacy, there was no reason to deny his needs, so he stood quietly while Kouga’s hands traveled all over his body.

There was no one else that he would trust to do this then not call him a whore later. Kouga hadn’t. The only person that might do that would be Sesshoumaru and Sesshoumaru’s opinion meant nothing now. His brother would always despise him.

Light kisses trailed down Inuyasha’s neck and he allowed his head to fall back, exposing his neck and throat. Warm lips took advantage of the bared flesh while hands traveled back up Inuyasha’s torso to land on his nipples. Kouga lightly brushed them before he dipped his head to suckle one then the other. He was taking his time, being ever so gentle. There was no reason to scare Inuyasha into bolting. Seduction would pave the way.

Kouga dragged his lips and tongue down Inuyasha’s torso. Warmth saturated Inuyasha’s skin and peace began to settle in his mind. Kouga’s hands worked their way to the apex of Inuyasha’s thighs. When Kouga carefully cradled his balls, Inuyasha groaned, dropped his head, and clenched his eyes closed. Two fingers slid beneath his chin and he opened his eyes to see that Kouga had stood back up, still cupping him.

“Kiss me, Inuyasha. Show me that you really want this,” Kouga said softly.

Kissing was an emotionally intimate thing and Inuyasha hesitated. He didn’t want to mislead Kouga into believing that they were more than friends.

“It’s alright. I know who your heart belongs to, but a kiss isn’t too much to ask for, is it?” Kouga reassured him when he noticed Inuyasha’s reluctance.

Relieved, Inuyasha tentatively leaned into Kouga’s lips. His already stiffening arousal seemed to like the feel of Kouga’s lips. Inuyasha became brave and let his tongue slip out to caress Kouga’s soft lips.

Kouga nearly smiled and opened his mouth to take over the kiss. He ravaged Inuyasha with his plundering tongue as his hand strayed up to grip Inuyasha’s length. His own raging erection was becoming painfully hard. Nudging Inuyasha back until hiss ass rested against the boulder behind them, Kouga slid his hardened shaft into the same hand the held Inuyasha’s. He groaned as he rocked his hips and continued his stroking. When Inuyasha let out a surprised yelp and then a small whine at the new contact, Kouga’s chest swelled in satisfaction. Kouga finally broke away and quickly kissed and licked his way down Inuyasha’s torso. It was a short side trip to tease his friend’s hardened nipples.

When Kouga slid beneath the water and swallowed Inuyasha’s cock, Inuyasha moaned through his burning body that ached with need. His hips thrust forward into the hot, slick heat. The suction became stronger and Inuyasha’s body automatically responded by pumping rhythmically into Kouga’s mouth. As the sensation of tight, wet heat pressing up and down his erection overwhelmed him, he didn’t even consider that this might be wrong.

‘ _How long can he stay down there?’_ Inuyasha began to wonder after a couple of minutes, though it was difficult to have any thoughts with the fire shooting through his blood and hazing his vision with the pleasure that Kouga willingly bestowed upon him.

He didn’t wonder long. Kouga’s torture was too much and he was going to come. However, there was something that he wanted and, it didn’t involve coming inside of Kouga’s mouth. Gripping Kouga’s forearms, Inuyasha pulled the confused wolf out of the water. While distracting Kouga with his gaze, Inuyasha took hold of Kouga’s cock and stroked it a couple of times before turning and placing his hands on the boulder, offering Kouga something that the wolf hadn’t expected. Inuyasha spread his legs and arched his back out, presenting himself to his shocked friend.

“Inuyasha, you don’t have to do this,” Kouga gasped.

“I trust you, Kouga,” Inuyasha murmured over his shoulder, his gaze boring into Kouga’s concerned cerulean blue eyes. “I want this. And...you deserve it too.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Inuyasha,” Kouga scowled. “I will not take payment…especially like this.”

Inuyasha shook his head then looked back to Kouga with pleading, golden eyes. “No, I want this. Please.”

Satisfied, though still a bit hesitant because of the vulnerability that he knew Inuyasha was still experiencing, Kouga nodded and trailed fingers down Inuyasha’s spine. Perhaps Inuyasha did need this. A tremor ran down Inuyasha’s body and he leaned further out, an invitation. And that was all it took to settle Kouga’s mind.

“Thank you,” Kouga whispered before sliding his hands between Inuyasha’s thighs then lifting him out of the water.

Kouga’s tongue trailed down Inuyasha’s back and soon found its way between the globes of Inuyasha’s ass then teased the puckered ring. His tongue traveled further down, stroking that sensitive ridge that led to the tightened bulge at the base of Inuyasha’s swollen, throbbing member.

“Kouga, please,” Inuyasha rasped.

“We need to move you out of the water, puppy.”

Inuyasha growled at the pet name as Kouga let him slide back into the water then led him to a small ledge that jutted out over the water. It was perfectly situated. The rock was at mid-thigh, the water just below. Inuyasha braced his hands on the surface of the rock, once again spreading his legs. He shivered as he felt Kouga parting his butt cheeks and using his tongue, prodding the tight muscled ring that was the portal to his hot chamber.

He did not remember what this had felt like the first time that he had fucked Kouga in his demon form. But, so far, it was feeling rather nice and he moaned as Kouga slid his tongue through the tight ring while massaging his balls. It was a shock when he felt the first of Kouga’s fingers entering him. The uncomfortable stretching and rough calloused finger was not all that pleasant.

“It’ll feel better soon,” Kouga whispered as he inserted another finger then began stroking, exploring, and slowly stretching with careful strokes.

Apparently, something that he had done caused Inuyasha to whine and buck into his hand. Curious, he repeated the direction of his stroke and received the same response. However, this time, Inuyasha continued shoving himself back and forth.

‘ _Well, I’ll have to remember that spot,’_ Kouga thought to himself as he withdrew his fingers.

“Kouga,” Inuyasha whimpered. “Please.”

Kouga leaned over Inuyasha and kissed him at the nape of his neck. “Alright, but this might hurt at first, okay?”

Inuyasha nodded his head as he felt the tip of Kouga’s saliva slicked cock press against the tight opening. He pressed backward, giving Kouga the permission to enter him.

Kouga didn’t want to hurt Inuyasha anymore than he had to. He tried to distract his friend by reaching around and passing his hand over the tip of Inuyasha’s dripping erection before gripping it and beginning to slowly stroke up and down the hard, hot length.

Without thinking, Inuyasha rocked backward, shoving Kouga’s cock a couple of inches into his hot chamber. He gasped at the intrusion. It had hurt, but not too much.

Refusing to prolong Inuyasha’s discomfort, Kouga carefully slid his cock forward until he rested fully inside of his lover.

“Are you okay?” Kouga panted, barely able to prevent himself from seriously fucking Inuyasha into the next century. Inuyasha was just so hot and tight, gripping his swollen, sensitive flesh. His cock was throbbing with the need to thrust and feel the satisfying friction.

“Mm,” Inuyasha nodded then drew away from Kouga and shoved himself back, smacking his ass against Kouga’s hips.

“Gods, Inuyasha! You’re so tight and hot. It’s...damn...,” Kouga rasped, slowly parting Inuyasha’s walls, enjoying the friction against the skin of his throbbing cock as the now extremely sensitive head parted the delicate flesh.

At first, it had felt strange to Inuyasha, but that was quickly replaced with a comforting warmth and feeling of having a special connection to his friend. As Kouga filled him over and over again, the tingling and tension in his abdomen increased and he found himself quietly moaning. Then Kouga did the most amazing thing. He shifted himself up and over Inuyasha. His long, black hair tickled Inuyasha’s back and ribs while he buried himself deeper and struck that spot that shot molten lava through every cell of Inuyasha’s body. Inuyasha thought he was going to die of pleasure when Kouga grabbed his neglected, throbbing cock and began pumping him in time with the thrusts.

“More, Kouga...harder, please,” Inuyasha begged as he felt himself approaching his release. His body was a tingling mass of nerves set on fire by the constant thrusting and stroking.

That was no problem for Kouga. Inuyasha’s tight hot body was scorching him from the inside out and he happily increased the speed and power of his thrusts.

“Come for me, Inuyasha. Let it all go,” he panted into Inuyasha’s hair before groaning and giving a mighty thrust just as he covered Inuyasha’s mouth with his free hand.

In the first convulsion of his release Inuyasha’s walls quivered and almost painfully gripped Kouga. He cried out into Kouga’s hand as his seed shot over the stone and his cry turned to a whine then eventually quieted to small whimpers.

Kouga continued to pump and thrust as Inuyasha quaked and trembled beneath him, deliciously squeezing his cock. Close, so close. Then it came. As he felt the first rush about to burst inside of Inuyasha, Kouga pulled out and let his seed shoot onto the pale expanse of skin; stream after stream until it spilled over Inuyasha’s ribs.

Inuyasha lowered his shoulders to the rock while panting and trembling. He could feel Kouga’s thighs, shaking with the exertion, resting against his.

“Thank you,” Inuyasha panted through heaving gasps. “Why is it that you always know what I need?” Inuyasha asked, staring at the wolf from his prone position.

Kouga pulled them both down into the water. “Because you are my friend and, though I may not look it, I’m a lot older than you.”

Inuyasha leaned his head back against Kouga’s shoulder in contentment. “Why didn’t you come inside of me?” Inuyasha asked, voicing his disappointment.

“I wasn’t sure that you would want your youkai companions to smell my scent. It wouldn’t be so easy to wash away.”

“Mmm,” Inuyasha intoned as he nodded, more to himself than Kouga. “You’re always thinking ahead.”

“What do you think I’ve been thinking about all this time that I’ve been waiting?”

“I wasn’t thinking about it at all.”

“Figures,” Kouga sighed. “I’ve been planning how I was going to seduce you, make you writhe in pleasure beneath my body, and what would happen afterward. Do you regret this?”

“I think that maybe...I’m growing up. No, I refuse to regret anything anymore,” Inuyasha murmured as he sat up and turned to gaze at Kouga then leaned in to give Kouga a tender kiss. “Though, I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to do this again.”

“I understand. It’s new.”

Inuyasha nodded. “But it does feel good.”

Kouga understood that Inuyasha’s assertion was directed not only toward the physical aspect, but toward the more emotional type of bonding that sex usually brings. He was happy and content. Inuyasha was learning. Perhaps he could wash Inuyasha’s mind clean of the desire for Sesshoumaru. Though he didn’t have that insatiable longing for Inuyasha that Inuyasha exhibited toward Sesshoumaru, the hanyou did make him happy enough to consider wooing and mating. All that he needed was time.

As they washed away any sign of their little tryst, Inuyasha decided to voice his observations concerning Sesshoumaru and Kouga agreed that they should build a shelter and bring Jinenji’s medicines to the spring. Kouga wouldn’t have the old woman around to keep him away from Inuyasha and he would have more opportunities to give Inuyasha a break from the treatments. Of course, he was hoping for more of Inuyasha’s delicious body as well.

The light scent of sex wafted along the breeze and Sesshoumaru’s dreams became disturbing; enough that he rolled to his side and curled into an aching mass of lost hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	11. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru are seriously confused puppies!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Much appreciated. Got sick in October and sorta fell apart when my apartment was burglarized and my laptop stolen in December. Thank you LittleLadyLokiStark and mariyah for reviewing. Thanks for the kudos everyone.

**Chapter 11**

_**Progress** _

Sun streamed through the small spaces between the leaves of the forest canopy as Inuyasha and Kouga sniffed out their prey. Today, a boar would be just what they needed. Everyone seemed to be becoming a bit tired of eating fish or rabbit on a daily basis, particularly Kouga.

“You’ve been rather quiet, Inuyasha,” Kouga commented from behind his friend.

Inuyasha chose a large fallen tree trunk and turned to sit down, facing Kouga. “I’ve been thinking about what we did the other day,” Inuyasha said as he threaded his long, clawed fingers together and placed his elbows on his thighs. He had been dreading this discussion. It was a rather embarrassing topic.

“Oh?” Kouga sat down to the left of Inuyasha and gazed at the somber face and drooping ears of the hanyou.

“I wanted it and…I liked it...but it doesn’t seem like it was the right thing to do,” Inuyasha murmured.

Kouga mulled it over in his brain. After everything that Inuyasha had been through with Sesshoumaru, Kouga felt that Inuyasha had needed someone to care for him, to outwardly show him love. Could he have been wrong? Was it too soon?

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“Because...I don’t love you like that. I needed to feel wanted and I was just using you. It wasn’t right to do that to you,” Inuyasha muttered.

A smile quirked the corner of Kouga’s lips. “You weren’t using me, Inuyasha. I knew exactly what I was doing. I know that you don’t love me like you do Sesshoumaru. Honestly though, can you really see him giving you what you need? Kagome and Kikyou are gone. You have no one else. I’m here. Now. Take advantage of me all you like,” Kouga chuckled. “I don’t mind one bit!”

Inuyasha glanced over at Kouga to see a wide, cocky grin on the wolf’s face. Kouga was the picture of masculine grace and beauty. He couldn’t deny that. However, he just didn’t love Kouga; needed him, maybe, but love? No.

“I’m just going to have to learn to live with being alone again, Kouga. I know that Sesshoumaru doesn’t want me.” Inuyasha nearly choked on those last words. No matter how he wished that it was otherwise, he had spoken the truth.

The ever persistent wolf didn’t even flinch. “Well, you’ll get over it and I’ll be here. I can wait as long as I need to.”

“Kouga, you’re being as bad as you were with Kagome.”

“What was so bad about that? She was my woman after all,” Kouga smirked. He loved teasing the volatile hanyou.

Inuyasha chuckled and shook his head. Kouga never gave up. “She didn’t belong to anyone.”

“Come on, dog turd. We’ve got dinner to catch,” Kouga declared, slapping Inuyasha on the back and rising to his feet. _He’ll come around eventually._

Inuyasha just shook his head again and rose to stand beside his friend and confidant.

“Would it be too much to ask for one kiss?” Kouga asked.

“Yes, it would. That’ll never be enough for you,” Inuyasha grinned. “I don’t need to be encouraging you, fleabag.”

“Oh well. Can’t blame me for trying.” Kouga shrugged and gave an exaggerated sigh. He was happy to see that Inuyasha’s funk appeared to have lifted somewhat. _I did the right thing._

~*~

” _Just say it, Sessy,” the hanyou puppy pouted up through a thick curtain of black eyelashes._

“ _Do not be foolish, hanyou.”_

_Clawed fingers, strong and tan, snatched the puppy from his amber gaze. Whirling around, Sesshoumaru faced the wolf youkai._

_He seems so familiar, Sesshoumaru thought before shifting his gaze to Inuyasha, who didn’t seem the least bit frightened._

“ _Put the pup down, wolf” the young prince youkai demanded. “He does not belong to you.”_

“ _I beg to differ,” the wolf replied with quiet confidence._

“ _Just say it, Sessy,” Inuyasha whispered a plea from the wolf’s embrace._

_Confessing such emotions in front of a full-blooded youkai such as the wolf would be a damning political maneuver, something that Sesshoumaru could not allow. That, in and of itself, was a mistake. As the moment stretched out like a gathering curse, those brilliant golden eyes began to shadow and sadden then suddenly narrowed and glared back at him._

“ _I hate you, Sesshoumaru!” With that said, the pup turned into the wolf’s embrace. “Take me home with you, Kouga.”_

_The wolf smirked and stared triumphantly at the young dog prince then casually turned and sauntered away, leaving Sesshoumaru in confusion, denial, and with a burning need to follow. Golden eyes rose to peer over Kouga’s shoulder, but only for a moment. As the two disappeared around the corner, Sesshoumaru’s heart seemed to attempt a leap through his chest. The child had chosen and there was nothing that he could do._

_Sesshoumaru brought his right hand up and placed it on his chest. Why do I want the pup to stay? He is an annoyance at best. But..._

_The hall was empty; no pitter patter of little feet or bubbling laughter echoing against the walls._

_Inuyasha was gone._

_Dreams were such a bitch._

~*~

The boar had been difficult to bring down and it showed in the gash on Inuyasha’s right shoulder. It had taken both him and Kouga. Nevertheless, it was a large one and would be more than enough for the crew. Sango had relentlessly fussed over him and his injury. After the threat of a raised Hiraikotsu, he had finally acquiesced to allowing her to bandage him. When she chose to be, the demon slayer could be quite frightening.

While Sango and Kouga prepared the boar for roasting, Inuyasha carried a cup of hot broth into their makeshift hut and sat down beside Sesshoumaru. Paper thin skin was beginning to fill out and soften, and Sesshoumaru’s breathing had become less labored. He was improving, but at the pace of a turtle sunbathing, at least, according to youkai standards.

“You’re making this harder than it has to be,” Inuyasha sighed as he sat the cup on the floor, pulled Sesshoumaru into his lap, and cradled Sesshoumaru’s head in his right arm.

The scent of Kouga, mingled with Inuyasha’s, crawled up Sesshoumaru’s nostrils. How was he to know that Kouga’s scent had rubbed off onto Inuyasha during a struggle with the boar? Not that it mattered. He remembered, or thought that he remembered, the scent of sex at the hot spring. And not just anyone’s, but Inuyasha's and Kouga's.

Just as Inuyasha reached for the cup, Sesshoumaru’s eyes opened and gazed up at him. There was none of the typical fire in those amber orbs, only a flat resignation. Sesshoumaru had not won the battle for Inuyasha’s heart, though he was certain that it had once been his.

Inuyasha thought that he had seen a flash of pain flicker through Sesshoumaru’s eyes. _He must be in pain,_ Inuyasha supposed.

“You need to drink this, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha grumbled. It was bad enough that Sesshoumaru had broken his heart, but now he had to be subjected to a reminder of it several times a day.

As Inuyasha brought the cup to Sesshoumaru’s lips, Sesshoumaru turned away and swallowed thickly, his face coming against the sleeve of the fire rat robe. He didn’t feel like taking nourishment, not with the knowledge that Inuyasha’s affections had turned to the wolf. The thought of swallowing anything made his stomach knot up.

“Damn it, Sesshoumaru. You’ve gotta drink this.”

_Where is my pride? I have never before given up. Why should I start now? The wolf will learn his place._ Perhaps all was not lost.

Though Sesshoumaru’s arm felt as though he were attempting to lift the heaviest demon that he had ever fought, he managed to drag it from the bedding. Opening his eyes, he noticed the wariness in Inuyasha’s expression as he brought his hand closer to Inuyasha’s face then rested it on the hanyou’s cheek. He was more than pleased when Inuyasha closed his eyes and nuzzled into the palm of his hand. It had been a tiring effort, but well worth the results.

_He may yet be persuaded to stay with me,_ Sesshoumaru thought as hope seemed to return.

“Forgive...” he rasped before his efforts sent him back into the world of nothingness and his hand fell to Inuyasha’s chest. Rushing to Inuyasha’s side had drained what little energy reserves he’d had and he was not recovering well.

A boiling knot of pain settled into the pit Inuyasha’s stomach as he fought back the lump in his throat.

“No,” he whispered, shaking his head, though knowing that Sesshoumaru couldn’t hear him. He would not set himself up for rejection again, no matter how tempting. With a trembling hand and a deep breath, Inuyasha sat the cup down. _What am I going to do if you keep this up? I can’t take this._

Inuyasha composed himself then slid Sesshoumaru from his lap and, with one last look at his brother, rose to fetch Sango. He didn’t bother explaining to her why he wanted her to take over for him and didn’t see her gazing at him with concern when he left with his head down. Kouga decided that whatever had happened, he should leave Inuyasha alone. Everyone’s eyes were trained on the droopy-eared hanyou as he left for the hot spring. The hut had been built far enough from the spring to give privacy when one needed to bathe and now, not only did Inuyasha want to wash away the sweat from the recent hunt, but the turmoil that Sesshoumaru had set off in him.

_Except for Kouga, I’m the only one strong enough to give Sesshoumaru his bathing treatment here. I’ll have to do it sometime,_ Inuyasha thought with dread as he looked down to take hold of his sleeve. There, at the crimp of his elbow, were a few small splatters of liquid. _I don’t remember spilling the broth._ Frowning, Inuyasha brought his arm up and buried his nose into the cloth. _Tears? Damn it all to hell, I hate this. What are you doing to me!?_

If his stomach could have knotted up any more than it already was, it would have. Tears pricked the back of his eyes and, once again, he swallowed the lump in his throat. He longed for Sesshoumaru, knew that he couldn’t have him, and wouldn’t go to Sesshoumaru, even if he could. Either way, he would be miserable. Something had to give, and soon.

The sensation of small fingers massaging his throat awoke the demon lord. Beneath slit eyelids, he observed Rin smiling down at him.

“Lord Sesshoumaru, you’re awake,” the little girl smiled. “We were just giving you some medicine. Are you feeling better?”

Sesshoumaru studied his ward. If he had any responsibility, it was to care for the little one that his father’s sword had chosen to revive. If for nothing else, he would need to strive to heal himself for her, his Rin. His focus on Inuyasha would need to be pushed aside...for now. _I seem to be thinking more clearly. Perhaps the poison is subsiding?_

“Rin, are you well?” His tone was weaker than he desired, but he would remedy that soon enough.

“Oh, I’m fine! Me and Shippou get to play together all the time. It’s a lot of fun,” she exclaimed.

_The kitsune that belongs to Inuyasha,_ Sesshoumaru pondered _. She would be disappointed if I sent him away. Hm, a concern for another day,_ Sesshoumaru decided.

“You will get better soon, Lord Sesshoumaru. I just know it,” Rin said with the brightest smile she could muster.

“Yes, Rin, soon,” he replied before resting his eyes.

Sango watched, amazed that Sesshoumaru accommodated the human girl with little thought to his reputation. He was an enigma of icy fire and rare, gentle gestures. Defining him was simply beyond the demon slayer’s ability. Disposing of demons had once been her duty. Now she had found that there were youkai that did not deserve her disdain. However, Sesshoumaru was a tough nut to crack and she hadn’t quite decided on which side of the fence he fell. For now, he was Inuyasha’s half brother and she was obliged to help him. Yet, she was feeling anxiety from being spirited away from home for so long. She had her own responsibilities to tend to. Looking down, she realized that Sesshoumaru was once again sleeping and was relieved that he hadn’t taken notice of her.

Inuyasha could hear Shippou taunting Jakken as he approached ground zero. Little did he know that Shippou was well aware of his presence.

Thunk!

“Waaaah!” Shippou cried out, quite convincingly too. _He wasn’t supposed to hit me that hard!_ Of course, this was all a part of the plan. Jakken hadn’t wanted to play along until he found out that he would finally have the opportunity to knock the annoying kitsune upside the head.

“Kouga! You’ve got to teach me how to defend myself against other demons,” Shippou cried, running to the wolf and grabbing onto his leg for dear life. At least that was the impression that he hoped to give. Training with Jakken was not going so well.

“Hey runt, isn’t Inuyasha supposed to teach you that stuff?” Kouga replied gruffly.

“He’s too busy taking care of Sesshoumaru!”

A growl could be heard as Inuyasha cleared the treeline. “Oi, what’s all this racket?” Inuyasha asked, propping his fists on his hips.

Shippou ducked behind Kouga as Rin ran out of the hut and straight up to Inuyasha.

“Inuyasha, would you take me to get some flowers for Lord Sesshoumaru?” She put her hands together in a pleading gesture. Who could deny those large black eyes and that cherub face?

“Sure, kid,” Inuyasha replied, momentarily forgetting about the kitsune.

“Can I ride on your back like before?” she grinned.

“As long as you don’t scream in my ears, it’s a deal,” he said, unable to prevent the smile that crept across his face.

“Yippee! I get to ride on Inuyasha’s back!” Rin squealed, dancing around in circles.

“Alright already!” Inuyasha groused as he laid his ears back to block out the high pitched noise. “But, we need to hurry. It’s almost time for me to give Sesshoumaru his treatment in the hot spring,” he reminded her as he squatted down so that she could climb onto his back.

Rin wasted no time. Candles that she had wrangled out of Jinenji’s mother were safely tucked inside of her pack just waiting to be used. And with Inuyasha’s help, she would have plenty of flower petals. Rin giggled in anticipation.

Shippou sighed and shook his head. _Idiot. One of these days, he'll figure it out._

~*~

The water seemed to buoy Sesshoumaru as he attempted to climb from Inuyasha’s lap and stand on his own.

“You’re going to wear yourself out,” Inuyasha huffed.

“I will not become stronger if I do not test my limits.”

The sooner he was away from the source of his distraction, the sooner he could focus on caring for Rin and those that were under his protection. Little did he know that, subconsciously, he was angry at Inuyasha; angry because Inuyasha had turned to the wolf, agitated because of his dreams, and mostly, disgusted with himself for allowing the hanyou to have such an affect on him. Yes, the old Sesshoumaru was beginning to resurface with a vengeance.

To Inuyasha’s ears, Sesshoumaru’s voice held that old familiar condescension, tinged with a bit of anger, and he had no clue as to why that should be. It didn’t even cross his mind that Sesshoumaru had known what he had done with Kouga. Regardless, Sesshoumaru was right. Exercise would make him stronger and the water was a good place to start. Inuyasha circled Sesshoumaru as the demon lord stood on unsteady legs and carefully plodded to the deeper recesses of the spring.

“Cease buzzing around me like a child, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru demanded as he focused on raising one leg and balancing fully on the other.

“Yeah, well. What if you fall?”

“What of it?” Sesshoumaru replied without thinking as he was concentrating on not doing that very thing.

“You’ll drown! You are so stubborn.”

“The same might be said of you.” _Hanyou,_ Sesshoumaru silently added. The least that he could do was not insult the one responsible for his care.

All was silent as Inuyasha watched like a hawk while Sesshoumaru strengthened the muscles of his legs. It was difficult, but Sesshoumaru was successful in using his activity as a cover for avoiding Inuyasha’s eyes. Only two leg-lifts later and Sesshoumaru was beginning to tremble, his energy spent. Scanning the area, he scouted a rock on which he could stretch out and bathe in the heat of the sun. However, as he moved closer, a familiar scent tickled his nose and, his memory.

Sex.

This was where they had been. Sesshoumaru stared at the rock. Possessive anger soon diminished beneath the onslaught of pain exploding in his chest. It should have been him, not Kouga. But it was his own actions that may have destroyed the possibility of a future with his sibling.

“Sesshoumaru?”

The voice seemed very far away as he stared at the jutting stone. The offensive object just would not leave his sight. Images of the wolf taking Inuyasha on its rough, gray, mottled surface flooded his vision, which was getting darker by the moment.

“Sesshoumaru, are you alright?” Inuyasha asked, stepping in front of his brother. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how one wished to look at it, hanyou noses just weren’t as sharp as a full-blooded inu youkai.

Sesshoumaru did not respond. His eyes were glazed over and his face pale.

“I told you! You’ve overdone it and it’ll take longer for you to get better. Damn it!”

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru’s eyes gained some lucidity and he gazed down into Inuyasha’s annoyed golden orbs. There was no reason to ask Inuyasha why he had done this. Sesshoumaru knew quite well. Despite that, the question stayed tenaciously lodged in his brain.

_Just say it, Sessy._

If only it were that simple. Inuyasha would not be so easily convinced. They were alone, though. No one would hear and since it would fall on deaf ears, it would be as though he hadn’t said it at all. No harm, no foul.

If only he knew.

“Inuyasha, I...” he began as his throat tried to constrict and deny the words the right of passage.

_Just say it._

He raised his hand to Inuyasha’s cheek. Confusion and fear stared back at him. “I...”

“Don’t! No, don’t hurt me like this. Not again,” Inuyasha strangled out. Pain and bitter anger laced his words.

“Please, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru whispered, fighting back the darkness, his energy all but depleted.

“No!”

“I do...” Eyelids as heavy as an iron skillet slowly drew down and Sesshoumaru steeled his resolve.

“No, no, no,” Inuyasha groaned and bowed his head until his chin rested on his chest. Tears forced their way to the surface and spilled down his cheeks.

“...love you.”

“No.”

With an exhausted sigh, Sesshoumaru slumped forward. The hand that had cupped Inuyasha’s cheek fell behind his back as Sesshoumaru’s arm slid over his shoulder. Inuyasha nearly jumped away, but the full force of Sesshoumaru’s weight suddenly fell on him. Inuyasha sniffed back the tears and swallowed as he withdrew Sesshoumaru from the water and laid him on the same patch of grass he had used the first time there.

“You’re a bastard, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha rasped as he made Sesshoumaru comfortable. “I hate you.”

As soon as he had Sesshoumaru situated, he found himself a nice little alcove in which to be alone, to weep his sorrow into the water.

_I do...love you._

“Bastard,” Inuyasha sobbed.

_I do...love you._

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

_I do...love you._

“Liar,” Inuyasha groaned.

“Inuyasha, of whom are you speaking?”

Inuyasha sniffed and straightened his back while scrubbing his face with the back of his hand. “None of your fucking business. Go away, Miroku.”

“Inuyasha,” Miroku sighed in that silky smooth voice that seemed to calm even the forest inhabitants.

“Something has happened to hurt you and you are my friend. I only wish to help.”

“You’re human. You wouldn’t understand.”

Miroku paused and gazed up at the sky. “Hm, and some would say that you are hanyou and are therefore weak. Are you weak, Inuyasha?”

“Hell no!”

“My point exactly,” Miroku stated. Sweeping his black and purple robes to the front, Miroku situated himself at the edge of the water and faced his distressed friend.

Inuyasha swallowed as the flow of tears receded. Perhaps a distraction was what he needed.

“I am well aware that something significant took place in my absence and now it has you greatly troubled, my friend. I might be able to help, if you would only confide in me,” Miroku said quietly as his dark eyes studied Inuyasha’s countenance.

Miroku was human, a monk even, though quite a lecher. Most humans looked down on relationships between two males and would not hesitate to kill anyone sleeping with his own brother. Just how much could he trust Miroku? They had fought side by side and nearly died together on more than one occasion. Certainly, Miroku would not condemn him. His soul, though impure, was nearly as accepting as Kagome’s. Then it occurred to Inuyasha. Miroku did not have his own agenda as Kouga did. Maybe, just maybe, Miroku could give him some decent advice.

Inuyasha drew in a deep cleansing breath and let it out slowly. As Miroku listened intently, Inuyasha began his tale, leaving out certain embarrassing and sordid details.

“And now, you have sought comfort in Kouga’s arms,” Miroku stated as both fact and question.

Inuyasha stared up at him in surprise, but nodded. _How did he know?_

“You must know that your brother can sense this, Inuyasha.”

“What do you mean?”

Miroku sighed in exasperation. “Sesshoumaru’s senses are much sharper than yours and he is not ignorant. He knows what you’ve done and I am sure that it has hampered his recovery.”

“So? He’s not dead and he doesn’t want me,” Inuyasha scowled.

“But you are wrong, Inuyasha. It was Sesshoumaru that alerted us to your situation with the bird of paradise and in his weakened state, he came to your rescue.”

“Keh! I wasn’t in no danger. How did he know anyway?”

“There is a bond between you, one that I do not fully comprehend. Suffice it to say that Sesshoumaru’s actions and his words, both then and now, clearly show his love for you.”

“Then why did he kill me? Tell me that. Why should I trust him?”

“Do you truly believe that Sesshoumaru would allow any harm to come to those for whom he has deep feelings? Great Buddha! He would never harm Rin and yet he struck out at her. You know that it was the poison. He never meant to hurt you, Inuyasha. Believe what he said. The great and terrible Lord of the Western Lands would not speak those words lightly.”

“Well, even if he did mean it, I’ve already screwed it up.”

Inuyasha just didn’t want to admit that Miroku may be right, that he should give Sesshoumaru the opportunity to redeem himself. That would put him in a vulnerable position, one that he feared more than anything. Send a towering enemy his way and he would do battle without hesitation. Ask him to put his heart on the line and he would be a skittering rabbit.

“If you want him, don’t let things become far more entangled than they already are. Go to him.”

“I don’t know if I can, Miroku.”

“That is understandable. Just know that the longer you wait, the harder it will be to obtain what you desire. And, if you wait too long, you may lose what you need most, my friend.”

Inuyasha nodded his head in resignation. “I’ll think about it.”

“Well then, I will take my leave. Have no fear, Inuyasha. You will always have friends that care for you very deeply. Our home is always open to you.”

Miroku strolled away at an even pace, leaving Inuyasha to consider his wise words. The battle of heart and mind that Miroku left behind was raging full force and Inuyasha would need time before returning to their makeshift hut. Leaving the water, he decided to join Sesshoumaru on the grass. His brother was sound asleep, if you could call it that. The markings on Sesshoumaru’s face had deepened in color. It was obvious that the taiyoukai was beginning to heal.

_Did my presence really make a difference? I doubt it. The old woman is crazy. There ain’t no bond between us._

Inuyasha brushed away the wisps of hair that dared to cover the pale beauty of his brother’s flawless features. As before, the reckless hanyou allowed his fingers to momentarily rest on Sesshoumaru’s temple, tempting his self restraint. This time, he wouldn’t give in. He would content himself with gazing at the vision of the graceful and fierce creature that had stolen his heart. And yet, for the ruthless murder of his heart, this lovely being was to be feared above all others.

Inuyasha sighed and slid down beside the silver-headed lord. Snaking an arm around Sesshoumaru’s waist, he rested his head in the crook of Sesshoumaru’s shoulder.

_I hate you,_ was the last thought before he drifted off into peaceful slumber.

~*~

Something heavy was resting on his chest. Sesshoumaru breathed deep and was surrounded by the scent of his brother. As he became more aware of his body, he could feel soft breath dewing the skin of his chest. An arm hung haphazard across his abdomen. He opened his eyes slightly to a pink and lavender sunset. It was beautiful and pleasant.

Inuyasha.

Sex.

Kouga.

_I do...love you._

_No._

Inuyasha had rejected him. No matter, that did not mean that the battle was lost. There would be plenty of opportunities. Without even thinking, Sesshoumaru’s hand had found its way to Inuyasha’s hair and his fingers were gently threading through the coarse white mane. The sensation of Inuyasha curled up against him, their bodies somewhat tangled with Inuyasha’s leg draped over his, brought Sesshoumaru’s attention to the fact that they fit perfectly together. Given Inuyasha’s shorter height, he fit quite comfortably into Sesshoumaru’s side. Content to enjoy the moment, Sesshoumaru allowed his eyes to close and continued his soft strokes through Inuyasha’s hair.

_Mmm. That feels good,_ Inuyasha thought as sleep began to slip away. He sighed and snuggled into the warmth of Sesshoumaru’s body, not yet fully comprehending just who was gently combing their claws through his hair and inadvertently massaging his scalp. In his moment of contentment, deep within his chest, a rumbling of sorts vibrated upward and into his throat, slipping out in a soft growl.

Sesshoumaru would have smiled had Inuyasha not jolted and suddenly shot up to a sitting position. Golden eyes blinked rapidly as though the hanyou were a lost child attempting to gain his bearings. Upon staring down at Sesshoumaru, his features fell and he rose up on shaking legs.

“I think it’s time to get back. Dinner is probably ready,” Inuyasha commented without inflection of any kind.

His bland distance brought a scowl to Sesshoumaru’s face. He sat up and searched the clearing for his robe. Inuyasha was way ahead of him, trotting off to retrieve it from a boulder. Sesshoumaru watched silently as Inuyasha quickly dressed. There was no desire at this point, only annoyance. When Inuyasha knelt down beside of him to slip the robe over his shoulders, Sesshoumaru snatched it away from him.

“I am fully capable of dressing myself,” he growled, frustrated that he was so weak.

“You weren’t this morning,” Inuyasha said with that same flat tone.

“It seems that there has been some improvement through the afternoon,” Sesshoumaru replied with his familiar coldness. He may be weak, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed others noticing.

“Whatever.” Inuyasha reached down to assist Sesshoumaru only to have his hands batted away.

Slowly and carefully, first balancing himself with his hand, Sesshoumaru rose to his feet. Determination lit his eyes as he took the first step, then another, and another. Nine steps into the trek, his forehead was covered in a sheen of sweat and he was trembling so badly that he didn’t brush away Inuyasha’s assistance. However, he did refuse to be carried. Ducking under Sesshoumaru’s arm, Inuyasha steadied the weak lord and bore most of Sesshoumaru’s weight.

Everything was strangely quiet when they arrived. Miroku sat comfortably beside Sango as the boar roasted on the spit. Just by the smell, Inuyasha could tell that it was ready. His stomach tightened and growled. It appeared that Kouga was napping on a large log at the edge of the clearing that they had made. His light snoring gave him away.

As the brother’s made their way to the hut, they noticed the anxious glances of the two children. There was a peculiar scent wafting from inside of the hut. Not unpleasant at all. In fact, it was quite relaxing. Helping Sesshoumaru step inside, Inuyasha had to roll his eyes. Various types of flower petals were sprinkled all throughout the room. Softly glowing, lavender scented candles surrounded Sesshoumaru’s pallet. Rin might have overdone it a bit, but Inuyasha had to admit, it was nice. He carefully led Sesshoumaru around the candles. Only after Sesshoumaru was made comfortable did Inuyasha sit down beside his exhausted sibling.

“It appears that Rin has been a busy child,” Sesshoumaru commented, more to himself than anyone.

“Yeah. I guess she’s just trying to help you get well,” Inuyasha said as he sniffed the air, attempting to get another whiff of the roasted boar. Just thinking about all of that delicious meat had his stomach growling. However, there were things he needed to do before he could eat. “I need to get you some medicine.”

“Eat, Inuyasha. Your stomach is complaining,” Sesshoumaru commanded as though he found the sound disgusting.

“It’ll wait.” Inuyasha sighed as he stood to fetch the medicine and a washcloth in order to wipe away the remnants of sweat that had gathered on Sesshoumaru’s forehead.

As he turned away, Sesshoumaru almost couldn’t hold back a snicker at what he saw.

_Inuyasha is so starved that he has no idea. I’m certain the scent of the candles and flowers dulled his senses._

Traipsing outside, Inuyasha strode over to the kettle and cup that was always kept hot and ready.

“Um, Inuyasha?” Sango asked

“Yeah, I’m kinda busy.”

“Your hair is on fire,” Miroku finished for her, barely holding back a snicker.

“What the hell!?” Inuyasha scooped his thick mane around his shoulder and held it up. Sure enough, it was smoldering and smoking at the ends. “Damn it.”

Shippou and Rin slowly stood up with eyes wide and inched their way behind Sango while Inuyasha poured some of the water onto the curling burnt tips of his hair. Ruffling their hair, Sango reassured them as she stood and tugged the black ribbon from her own hair.

“I think you need this more than I do,” Sango said with a smile as she walked over to Inuyasha and held out the ribbon. “You need to keep your hair away from those candles.

Inuyasha just stared at the hideous thing with confusion. Even if he wanted to use it, he didn’t know how. Sango half guessed what his problem was.

“Why don’t I put it up for you,” she offered.

“Fine,” Inuyasha grumbled and waited while she retrieved a comb. He certainly didn’t want a repeat.

It wasn’t long before Inuyasha stepped back into the hut, leaving a relieved Shippou and Rin to continue their play. For a moment, Inuyasha thought that Sesshoumaru had fallen asleep. It was the barest hint of a smirk that gave Sesshoumaru away.

“You bastard. You knew and were willing to let me go bald!” Inuyasha exclaimed, stomping over to Sesshoumaru. “I oughtta light your hair on fire and see how you like it.”

Sesshoumaru’s eyes opened to narrow slits as his amber orbs slid over to gaze at Inuyasha. The sight of Inuyasha’s hair up in a ponytail, baring his ears in all their naked glory, startled Sesshoumaru. With that mass of coarse hair, Inuyasha’s triangular ears had barely shown their true size. Now, he truly did look like a dog, but an unbearably cute one. Sesshoumaru gazed in awe and wonder at the almost new creature now sitting beside of him. Most likely for protection, Inuyasha had pulled the length of his hair over his left shoulder rather than leaving it trailing down his back. It glowed with a new luster because it had been combed.

Rising to sit up, Sesshoumaru glanced down at the cup of broth that Inuyasha had prepared. Still, he couldn’t help but allow his eyes to wander back up to Inuyasha’s new striking features.

“You should comb your hair more often. It is very becoming, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru murmured as he reached out and ran his fingers through the newly combed tresses.

Breath hitching in his throat and eyes widening, Inuyasha stared at Sesshoumaru in disbelief. A compliment to the dirty hanyou from the aloof Lord of the West? Unheard of! And there was the slightest of smiles on Sesshoumaru's face. But the vague dreamy countenance was shattered when Sesshoumaru shook himself and settled as though he were a bird.

Inuyasha swallowed and cleared his throat. “Here, drink this.” He lifted the cup to Sesshoumaru’s lips.

“I can do it on my own, Inuyasha.” He took the cup from Inuyasha’s hand and sipped the hot liquid.

“Since you can do everything by yourself, you can take this,” Inuyasha huffed, holding out the wet cloth. He wasn’t sure why he was miffed at Sesshoumaru’s independence, but it was there.

Setting the cup aside, Sesshoumaru took the cloth from Inuyasha. “You should go outside with the others and eat.”

“Fine. I can take a hint. Do you want anything?” Inuyasha scowled. _Damn, what has gotten into me? Why do I care if he blows me off?_

“You know that I do not eat human food.”

“Oh, I forgot! That again. Still, do you think that you can take solid food now?”

“Perhaps tomorrow,” Sesshoumaru sighed. “I am tired.” And he meant it.

Inuyasha studied Sesshoumaru for a moment. Yes, he did look tired. “I’ll be back,” Inuyasha said softly as he rose to leave.

Twenty minutes later, Inuyasha returned with fresh rabbit meat in his hand. As he suspected, Sesshoumaru was asleep, but not the deep slumber to which Inuyasha had become accustomed. Carefully navigating the candles, Inuyasha quietly sat down next to his brother.

“Hey, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha murmured as he held a sliver of meat just below Sesshoumaru’s nose. “Got something for you. Wake up.”

Inuyasha watched as Sesshoumaru’s nostrils flared with a deep breath. He could see movement below the surface of Sesshoumaru’s eyelids just before the eyes opened to narrow slits.

“Solid food…just for you,” Inuyasha teased, swinging the meat back and forth over Sesshoumaru’s face.

“You have disturbed my rest.”

“You're welcome,” Inuyasha smirked as he lifted the bowl full of shredded meat. “Still warm.”

Despite his grumpy demeanor, Sesshoumaru sat up and speared a piece of meat with his claws. He sniffed it before popping it into his mouth.

“It is fresh,” he sleepily commented before devouring another. “I miss the hunt.”

“The fact that you’re eating means that you’ll be back hunting in no time at all. Don’t know why you just started getting better like this all the sudden,” Inuyasha mused.

“I have responsibilities,” Sesshoumaru responded flatly.

“Mmm,” Inuyasha agreed as Sesshoumaru polished off the last piece. “I don’t see how you can eat that stuff raw. Kagome says that it can make a person sick because of ‘bakteeria’.

“I am youkai. That would never affect me. I smell the boar on you. Did you swallow your meal whole so that you could eat before capturing my meal?”

“Yeah, well, we never thought that you could be poisoned either,” Inuyasha replied, ignoring Sesshoumaru’s question.

“Naraku...though he was young, had the strength of the Shikon jewel behind him. I am not so surprised.”

“Everyone else was.”

“Perhaps they underestimated him.”

It was pleasant to have a civil conversation with Sesshoumaru; something very rare. Perhaps Sesshoumaru was too tired to be his usual stoic self. Inuyasha noticed the droop in his eyes and the slump of his shoulders. The day had been his most active yet.

“You rest now. I’m gonna help get things cleaned up outside; no sense attracting carrion feeders,” Inuyasha said with a slight smile.

“You do that,” Sesshoumaru sighed as he lay back down, rolled to his side, and tugged the covers up over his shoulders.

Inuyasha stopped at the door to gaze back at what had been his momentarily genial brother. The youkai was already asleep. Peace seemed to radiate from his countenance. And that made Inuyasha happy.

_He deserves a little rest after what he’s been through,_ Inuyasha thought as he stepped outside.

Kouga studied Inuyasha as the hanyou used his claws to shred the excess boar meat and draped it over the dying fire. In a few hours, it would be hardened into jerky. Inuyasha seemed more content than he had in days and Kouga wondered what had made the difference. He had checked on Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru as they had slept at the spring. Despite knowing the old woman’s instruction, Kouga knew that there was more to the brothers' embrace. He needed to get Inuyasha alone more often, but Rin and Shippou seemed intent on keeping him occupied.

Once cleaning and preparations for the next day had been made, Inuyasha headed back into the hut. The candles had burned low, but before disrobing, he snuffed out the majority of them. It didn’t matter that he could see in the dark, the last two candles, their light flickering over Sesshoumaru’s features, did much to enhance the warmth in the youkai’s features, so he let them be.

_Maybe what the old woman said was true. He’s a lot stronger since we took that nap together,_ Inuyasha mused then began to carefully remove Sesshoumaru’s robe.

Sesshoumaru stirred only once before Inuyasha slid down behind him, and Inuyasha noticed that the temperature of Sesshoumaru’s skin had warmed somewhat. Sliding his left arm around Sesshoumaru’s waist, Inuyasha brought his hand up to the center of Sesshoumaru’s chest. The heartbeat was stronger than it had been and the steady rhythm soon lulled him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


	12. Seduction

**Chapter 12**

_**Seduction** _

Apparently, sleeping skin to skin was very good for Sesshoumaru, as Inuyasha discovered when he awoke the next morning snugly tucked against Sesshoumaru’s broad chest with a very large something poking him between the globes of his behind. Inuyasha swallowed hard at the realization of just what was so boldly crushed up against him. Shock, fear, dread, and a need to scramble away, vied for dominance as Inuyasha’s breathing became labored from the intensity of such intimate contact with his brother. However, hidden in the back of his mind, was the deep-seated need to remain exactly where he was.

_I want this, need it. If I let him have my heart, he will only break it again. But, what if he is still under the influence of the poison? Would it be real?_

The answer was simple.

_No._

Inuyasha sighed at the thought that he could test Sesshoumaru, could find out if the poison had left his brother’s system. Even if Sesshoumaru was free of the poison, would he want to take the risk? That was a question that brought a lot of confusion. He knew he should give Sesshoumaru a chance because the youkai had been influenced by an outside source the night they had spent in each others' arms.

Run or stay.

A small whimper escaped Inuyasha’s throat before he even knew that it had been there, waiting to be released. It would be too humiliating to wake Sesshoumaru with the movements of a scared rabbit, he finally decided. If nothing else, he was not a coward. Forcing himself to calm, which took much effort and willpower, Inuyasha allowed his senses to sharpen as he left the foggy mist of sleep to the sharp edges of wakefulness, all the while hoping that this was just a dream, or nightmare. After a few moments, nothing had changed. He was not in a tree, dreaming. Well, it seemed as though he had been fully awake, after all. Absolutely nothing had changed, and now, he was going to need to determine a safe plan of escape without actually appearing to be a coward.

From the whisper of Sesshoumaru’s shallow breathing, Inuyasha determined that his brother was still held in the prison of slumber.

_Good,_ he thought with a sigh of relief. The last thing he needed was to be accosted by the one person who he was most diligently attempting to keep at arm’s length. Not that fate was cooperating. Stupid bitch seemed to have her own agenda.

Inuyasha took a slow deep breath and sighed to wash his mind clear of anything that would impede his strategy, or rather, the one he had yet to make. There was no sense starting the day in a foul mood and he was relieved that at least Sesshoumaru wasn’t a cover hog, leaving Inuyasha to sleep well. But even with this small favor, fate was against him as he tilted his head from Sesshoumaru’s shoulder to notice that the royal blue blanket, (which annoyingly enough, brought out the color of the crescent moon on Sesshoumaru’s forehead) had slid from Sesshoumaru’s torso, leaving the line of that long sculpted body exposed. The ashen gray color of Sesshoumaru’s skin had receded to be replaced by the normal pale porcelain. Truly, it was a marvel how much Sesshoumaru had improved during the night. Perhaps the old woman wasn’t so crazy after all.

By the last dying flickers of candlelight, Inuyasha observed that the darkness of predawn could not dim the soft glow of Sesshoumaru’s flawless skin. Not only was the warmth radiating from Sesshoumaru and seeping into his own skin a very good sign, but it was also a bit distracting, too distracting in its soothing quality. Had his eyes not been focusing on the long curve of Sesshoumaru’s waist, and roaming over the rise of his brother’s bared hip, he would have noticed and berated himself for the disobedience of his own body. As it was, the graceful line of the body next to him only served to draw forth sensual memories of the one night that they had spent together.

The long, clawed, and extremely deadly fingers currently lazing against Inuyasha’s chest had on that one night journeyed over every inch of his body, wringing from him moans that seemed to echo throughout his blood. They had caressed his chest, kneaded his waist, massaged his thighs, and cupped his cheeks. As the memories drifted through his mind, blurring his vision of the outside world, Inuyasha absently trailed his fingers over Sesshoumaru’s forearm. His body vividly remembered the feel of their skin sliding together, heated and slippery with the dew of perspiration.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Inuyasha reached his arm over his waist and gently squeezed Sesshoumaru’s hip. And that ended his reverie. Sesshoumaru’s arm tightened its hold on him and Inuyasha suddenly felt trapped and stupid for having allowed himself to lose control of his senses. Despite the lingering desire and longing for Sesshoumaru’s acceptance and love, he could not afford to set himself up to believe that Sesshoumaru had any feelings for him whatsoever. After all, even then, Sesshoumaru had been under the power of the poison, not just when his lover had killed him. Thank the gods that Kouga had been there for him. Even with Kouga’s friendship, Inuyasha wasn’t certain that he could survive another betrayal.

And then it happened. Heated breath warmed the soft flap of his left ear, causing an involuntary flick of the sensitive appendage. Still, Sesshoumaru’s breathing was shallow and even, but the effect was the same as it always had been. With a creaking groan, the hardened resolve that had been slowly constructing a solid wall around Inuyasha’s heart developed a crack that threatened to widen into a full blown cavern.

The soft breath enveloping his ear sent shivers down his spine and he had to swallow in order to open his constricted breathing passages. It just wasn’t fair that his most sensitive appendages were right on top of his head for anyone to take advantage.

“Inuyasha.”

The drowsy utterance of his name sent pain shooting through Inuyasha’s chest. It was killing him. The need to be captured in the embrace of Sesshoumaru’s love reared its ugly head in a full blown howl inside his head. Clenching his eyes closed as his body trembled with the war that waged within, he tried fruitlessly to ignore the sensation of Sesshoumaru’s nose nuzzling his ear. His defenses were crumbling and he was quickly losing ground.

_No, no, no!_ His mind protested while his heart split open, reaching to have that hunger sated _. You can’t do this to me. I won’t let you!_

Though his mind raged, his heart grasped at the possibility of being healed. He was lost, confused, and unaware as his body gradually relaxed into the comforting warmth of his brother’s arm, which was now snaking its way up, allowing Sesshoumaru’s hand to slide beneath his jaw and cup his cheek.

Inuyasha could have sworn that a spell had been cast as he savored the scent right under his nose. When that hand, softened from lack of swordplay, traced its fingers over his eyebrows to brush his hair from his face, an involuntary and almost inaudible whine escaped his lips.

He hated his heart’s betrayal of his mind. It just hurt so much. This loss of control was shredding his heart, soul, and mind. Yet, he didn’t stop Sesshoumaru, even when he realized that the object of his desire was wide awake and fully aware.

“Sesshoumaru! Please...don’t,” Inuyasha gasped as he felt Sesshoumaru’s lips slide along the edges of his ears, but Inuyasha didn’t even try to pull away. He was inexplicably bound. Unfortunately, his half-hearted words were ignored and his ear was sucked into the wet heat of Sesshoumaru’s mouth.

“For Kami-sama’s sake, Sesshoumaru, don’t do this to me,” Inuyasha groaned as a quiver tickled down his ears and raced into his chest, then further to pool in his groin.

Once he felt the scorching path of scraping fangs making their way down his neck, he had had enough. His body might like what it was experiencing, and his heart may crave it, but it in no way forgave the past or secured the future. Like Kouga had said, did he only want a few passion filled moments? Or a true relationship? Sesshoumaru was offering him the former and it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough to heal the wounds, and the thought that Sesshoumaru believed it would, really pissed Inuyasha off.

_What!? A few kisses and a good fuck and everything is fine and dandy? I don’t think so,_ the old insecurities whispered, repeating Kouga’s words.

That anger and pain at Sesshoumaru’s betrayal crawled up from Inuyasha’s gut as though it were a physical force. Shoving Sesshoumaru’s arm away, Inuyasha kicked off the blanket, leapt from the pallet, and spun around to glare down at his now completely naked brother. Regardless of the view in front of him and the cold glare of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha was not going to waste time and possibly get himself into a worse predicament.

“You listen. That shit ain’t gonna work,” Inuyasha spat as he scowled at Sesshoumaru then quickly turned to hastily grab his clothing.

“The wolf is an exception?” Sesshoumaru replied coldly, a statement more than a question.

Lead settled into Inuyasha’s chest, completely cutting off any air. It was a good thing that looks could not kill, for when Inuyasha turned, the hatred burning in his eyes was enough to make even Sesshoumaru take notice.

“Unlike you, he cares about me. He’s not just trying to get a good fuck. I trust him. Not you! I hate you,” Inuyasha hissed before throwing on his clothes and stomping out of the hut, his face crimson with rage. He knew that he didn’t hate Sesshoumaru. He hated that he had to battle the war of need within; the overwhelming desire and the need to be safe inside his own heart.

~*~

Having Inuyasha in his arms over the past few nights had been excruciatingly painful, and at the same time, exquisitely delightful. It was everything Sesshoumaru could do not to molest his little brother. That didn’t mean that he didn’t surreptitiously caress Inuyasha’s arm or waist, or do something just as harmless. Even the scent of Inuyasha’s hair, burnt by candle flame, was something that he found very soothing.

But this morning...this morning, something amazing happened. Inuyasha touched him—voluntarily. Not just any touch either. It was warm and slow. Unbeknownst to his little brother, Sesshoumaru was not asleep, but merely enjoying Inuyasha’s presence. Well, a little more than enjoying. Regardless, Sesshoumaru hadn’t been awake long before he felt a hand on his hip and then a gentle squeeze.

Hope. A tiny glimmer, but there nonetheless.

That hope managed to seep inside Sesshoumaru's chest and burst much too prematurely. It was everything Sesshoumaru could do to resist throwing Inuyasha down, kissing him senseless, and properly making love to him. Sesshoumaru had come undone at that one small touch and he had made a mistake, perhaps an ultimately permanent error. Oh, but it had felt oh so good, having Inuyasha’s responsive and shivering body held against his own...and he had lost control.

_Will he never forgive me? What would I have done in his place? Killed him at the first opportunity. That is the difference between us. He would suffer me to live. Not only has he done so, but he has brought me back from the edge of the abyss. Perhaps there is hope yet. But not as long as that wolf is present._ Sesshoumaru growled softly his dismay.

Flopping over onto his back, he took a deep breath. Well, the morning had not proceeded very well, not at all how Sesshoumaru had hoped. Perhaps there was no way to reach Inuyasha after all. With that thought, Sesshoumaru decided that he needed to be somewhere else. Somewhere far away from his unforgiving sibling. There would be another opportunity.

Testing his strength, Sesshoumaru was pleasantly surprised to find that he was easily able to stand. There was still one part of him that wasn’t very happy. Left wanting, his erection still stood tall and firm. Sesshoumaru skimmed his long clawed fingers down his aching member. No, there was no way in hell that he was going to pleasure himself, considering exactly who that arousal was for. How demeaning would that be? It was time to take his leave. Yes, a time to ponder and perhaps develop a strategy for breaking through the mistrust with which Inuyasha had surrounded himself. Sesshoumaru was never one to lose a battle. The wolf prince would learn this lesson. He just needed time and patience.

Everyone’s eyes shot to the door of the hut as Sesshoumaru made his exit.

“Jakken,” the deep, resounding voice demanded. “Come.”

“Yes, milord!” The toad always seemed overly anxious to please his lord and sometimes it grated on Sesshoumaru’s nerves, but not today. Today, he wanted no one other than his servant.

“Um, Sesshoumaru? Where are you going?” Miroku asked. Sometimes the monk just wasn’t aware of the danger that he constantly put himself in.

Sesshoumaru didn’t even turn his head as his eyes slid to the left to give the monk a bored, yet threatening gaze. “Do not presume to question this Sesshoumaru.”

With that, Sesshoumaru headed to the hot spring, toad in tow. Though his strides were even and regal, as always, they were a bit slower than usual. Sesshoumaru wasn’t ready to push himself. There was no reason. All that mattered was that he would have his way.

Once standing at the edge of the water, Sesshoumaru turned to his trustworthy servant. “I require clothing befitting my station.” He spoke calmly, respecting the toad’s devotion for a change.

“Oh! I have anticipated your need, milord, and took care of that while you were in your weakened state. I mean...I didn’t intend to imply that you are weak. You...are the strongest youkai in the land! You were just ill,” the toad stammered, certain that he was about to lose his head. “Not that you would ever fall to an illness...I mean...”

Jakken’s blunders were always amusing to Sesshoumaru. Though he may abuse the little fellow on occasion, it was only to teach the toad a lesson. The only person that Sesshoumaru trusted as much as the toad was Rin. His servant had courage, even when in fear for his life. And that, Sesshoumaru respected. In order to retain his servant’s loyalty, it was necessary to occasionally remind him of his value. Now was one of those times. The toad had not abandoned him in his time of weakness.

“You are the only one that I need at this moment,” Sesshoumaru said flatly. “Retrieve my clothing.”

“Yes, milord! Right away!”

It was never lost on Sesshoumaru how his retainer always puffed up with pride, even as tears streamed down the toad’s face. And off the little guy ran, always ready to please his Lord and Master. Sesshoumaru nearly chuckled. It never ceased to amaze him. The toad truly loved him, almost unnaturally. But that didn’t matter.

Once disrobed, Sesshoumaru slipped into the steaming water. The morning’s stress slowly seeped away as he cleared his mind, leaving room to determine how best to leave the group behind. First, he needed to find out exactly what his current capabilities were. With that in mind, he waded deeper into the steaming pool. It was no surprise that he was able to easily slice through the water. Now to test his youkai abilities. They were there, but not up to his usual strength. However, he remained confident that he could adequately defend himself without assistance. Now, to put the day into motion.

Sesshoumaru was pleased to find that Jakken had brought his clothing then left him to his privacy. Once dressed in the clothing that mirrored his usual attire, Sesshoumaru felt like his old self again. Feeling his casual confidence and pride returning, he made his way back to his caretakers.

All conversation came to a halt as the youkai lord appeared, looking as though he had never experienced near death. Tall, regal, proud as ever. Everything was in place, including his armor and swords. Even his clothing was no different.

Pretending not to notice the absence of Inuyasha and Kouga, though it cut him deeply, Sesshoumaru wasted no time gathering his little group and disappearing into the dense forest, heading west. No one dared say a word. The proud Lord’s scathing glances were enough to silence any protests.

Needless to say, neither Rin, nor Shippou were very happy with this new development. They were losing the prospect of having a real family to call their own. However, both had the hope that once Inuyasha returned, everyone would be heading for Sesshoumaru. They almost counted on Inuyasha’s stubbornness to see to it that Naraku’s poison had completely left Sesshoumaru’s system. And they weren’t mistaken.

“What the hell!? Why didn’t you stop him from leaving?” Inuyasha fumed.

“Inuyasha, you know how powerful your brother is. Do you truly expect that we could have brought him down?” Miroku asked in an attempt to reason with angry hanyou.

“He’s weak! You could have stopped him!”

“No, Inuyasha. He’s much stronger today. I dare say that Jinenji’s mother was correct. You’re presence has healed him...almost.”

“What do you mean, ‘almost’?” Inuyasha asked, his anger giving way to concern.

“He was moving slower than usual. I doubt that he has made it very far,” Miroku replied.

Inuyasha rubbed his temples in frustration while staring down at the basket of fish he and Kouga had collected then glanced up at Shippou.

“We’ll eat first then I’m going to find that bastard.”

“Inuyasha,” Miroku spoke softly. “Sango and I need to return home soon. You are welcome any time. Our door is always open.”

“Feh.”

Sango cracked a smile at the positive response and began stoking the fire while Kouga prepared the fish. Inuyasha, not one to be patient and still grumpy, was pleased to see Miroku gathering and bagging their supplies, which left him with nothing to do, so he plopped down on the ground and crossed his arms, still angry at his brother.

_Ass,_ Inuyasha thought to himself with a scowl. _Just because I can’t smell the poison doesn’t mean it isn’t still there, buried deep somewhere inside of him._

Though he wouldn’t feel comfortable sleeping with Sesshoumaru again, it had to be done. He would just have to find some way to ward off Sesshoumaru’s advances. Inuyasha sighed as his stomach decided to churn at the prospect, quickly losing his appetite. While searching for a high branch to hop onto, his plans were rudely interrupted by Miroku’s approach.

“Inuyasha, may I speak with you for a moment...privately?” Miroku asked in that melodious, almost hypnotizing voice, which usually irritated the hanyou, but Miroku did not often make such a request, so he followed the monk until they were out of hearing range of the others.

Miroku’s staff jingled in the breeze as he stood silently at the edge of the hot spring.

“Well, monk? You gonna talk or what?” Inuyasha asked gruffly.

Much to his surprise, Inuyasha’s answer was a swift thump on the head, Miroku’s staff jingling merrily in its wake.

“Hey! Why’d you do that!?” Inuyasha exclaimed, rubbing the lump merrily making its way to the surface.

“Stupid idiot. We heard what you said to Sesshoumaru this morning. Why do you think he left?”

“Because he’s a bastard!”

“No, Inuyasha,” Miroku sighed. “Sometimes I wonder how you have managed to survive with your constant stupidity.”

“What do you mean by that?” Inuyasha scowled.

Miroku, graceful as always, sat down on a boulder with a sigh. “You rejected Sesshoumaru. Why do you have to be so stubborn? You know as well as I do that he had been under the influence of the poison when he hurt you.”

“How am I supposed to know that for sure? You know how he always despised me. Just like Kouga said, why would he change overnight? Answer that why don’t you!”

“Was it truly overnight, Inuyasha? Or didn’t you notice? Before the poison, he had ceased his attempts to take Tetsusaiga away from you. His challenges became harmless. Great Buddha, Inuyasha! He even protected you from Sou’unga. And from what Kagome told me, Takemaru’s statement that he had sent your mother to hell prompted Sesshoumaru to viciously attempt to avenge you! How can you say that he changed overnight? You are a fool if you think that the change in Sesshoumaru was overnight. Think about it before you lose what you most need,” Miroku said, softening his voice. “You put too much stock in Kouga’s words. Stop listening to him and obey your heart. Now, I will leave you with your thoughts.”

With that, Miroku stood and left.

Was Miroku right? Inuyasha had never really considered it. His defensive mode and desire to protect his group always overrode any thoughts concerning Sesshoumaru’s actions. Though Sesshoumaru’s words continued to be harsh, his actions toward Inuyasha had mellowed. Hell, even the scathing remarks had lost some of their venom.

_And just what did Miroku mean when he said that Sesshoumaru protected me?_

Reaching back into his mind, he replayed every battle scene from their fight with Sou’unga. Sesshoumaru insisted that it was he who would defeat the evil sword. Yet, what was the point of shoving Inuyasha out of the blast Sou’unga threw at him? Sesshoumaru could have just let the blast kill Inuyasha, but he had pushed Inuyasha aside, still claiming that he would be the one to win the battle. It was completely unnecessary for Sesshoumaru to take the hit. It gained him nothing. Nothing, except to save his little brother.

Inuyasha swallowed, hard. _How could I have missed that? I wanted revenge for what that sword had done to me, for what Takemaru had done to my mother. Sesshoumaru didn’t matter. He was just in the way and I saw him as he had been for so many years, a selfish, cold, sonofabitch. It never occurred to me that he was trying to protect me. I know that Miroku is wrong about one thing though. If Takemaru was the one who killed mother, then he was also the one who killed father. He wanted revenge for father, not for me. And I don’t blame him._

This was not good, not good at all. He had spurned Sesshoumaru, thrown away his brother’s attempts at reconciliation. Well, it wasn’t as though Sesshoumaru openly declared any good intentions toward Inuyasha. But still, Inuyasha had been completely and totally blind.

_Can I fix this? Do I really want to? Would it be too late anyway?_

“Aw, hell. One problem at a time.”

What Inuyasha didn’t know was that Miroku had one other mission and that he had taken advantage of Inuyasha’s absence.

“Well, Kouga, now that we are alone...”

The next thing Kouga knew, sutra’s adorned his feet, hands and mouth, locking him to the ground in front of a tree.

“Now that I have your undivided attention, you are going to listen. No talking,” Miroku ordered, bonking the wolf prince on the head with his staff.

_How am I supposed to talk with this shit over my mouth?_

“You’re not listening, Kouga. Be still.”

_What!? I’m not doing anything!_

“You are not helping Inuyasha in the least. Your advances confuse him and prevent him from pursuing his heart’s desire.”

_I’m doing no such thing, you moron,_ Kouga scowled.

“I told you to be quiet!” Miroku huffed, banging Kouga on the head again.

_What!_

“Exactly. Be quiet.”

_What the hell is going on here?_

Miroku got up into his face, nose to nose and flicked Kouga’s ear. “Stop thinking. I can hear you. Now listen for a change.”

_He can read minds?_

“No, I just know you.”

_Fuck! This is way too weird._

“Kouga,” Miroku ground out. “I know that you helped Inuyasha get through a difficult time. However, you are not allowing Inuyasha to think for himself. You are pushing him. It’s hard enough for him already without your constant presence. He needs to stop using you as a crutch and start thinking for himself. You,” Miroku bonked him on the head for good measure. “...need to leave him alone for awhile. Despite what you think, he needs Sesshoumaru. And Sesshoumaru needs him. Or haven’t you seen that for yourself. Just give Inuyasha some time to sort through his feelings. Stop,” bonk, “pushing,” bonk, “him!” Bonk.

Kouga snarled beneath the enchanted paper as he glared at Miroku. What the fuck did the monk think he would achieve by abusing him, other than pissing him off and making him want to tear the monk’s head off of his shoulders!?

“You might think that you are helping Inuyasha. And I commend you, if that is truly your purpose. However,” Miroku sighed, “it is only creating more turmoil for him.” Miroku straightened his robes and brushed unseen dirt from the sleeves.

“Now, I can leave you here until the rains wash these sutra’s from your skin. Or, I can let you go and you can quietly walk with me. Don’t doubt that I can adequately defend myself.” Miroku crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Kouga to calm down. It was a long wait.

“You agree to give Inuyasha some room?”

Kouga nodded his head.

“Swear on all that you hold sacred?” Miroku asked, raising his eyebrows in demand. “Okay. I’ll let you go.”

_Then I’m going to beat the tar out of his ass!_

Miroku stepped back and scowled. “Don’t even think about it, Kouga. I doubt that Inuyasha would think I’d have any interest in your ass. I have Sango for that.”

With that, Miroku ripped the sutras from Kouga’s body and casually strolled away, leaving Kouga to mull over what he had said.

_That guy is creepy,_ Kouga thought, shivering. _Probably crazy as a loon, too, from all those beatings that Sango gave him._

Kouga leaned up against the tree, at first deciding that there really was nothing to think about. There was no reason for him to stay away from Inuyasha. Inuyasha seemed to enjoy his company.

By the time Kouga and Miroku had rejoined the group, they had eaten and were all ready to go.

“Hey, Inuyasha!” Shippou chirped. “I saved you a fish!”

“Keh! You need it more than I do, runt. How else will you grow up and whoop some serious ass?”

After all the years of fighting over food, Shippou was shocked at Inuyasha’s response. But after thinking about it for a moment, Shippou had to hide the grin threatening to spread across his face. Hope was renewed in the little fox child. If Inuyasha wasn’t hungry, something was up.

_Inuyasha reeeeally doesn’t like being away from Sesshoumaru. We will be a family! Oh yeah!_

~*~

The trees had slowly thinned and Sesshoumaru’s little party found themselves in a large field. Sesshoumaru took a deep breath, tasting the wide open space. He never was one for being confined and that was exactly how he had been feeling the past few days.

_I have been away from my lands for far too long._ Sesshoumaru would have worried, if he ever were to admit to it.

“Jakken, take Ah Uhn home and announce our imminent arrival,” he commanded.

He might as well give the servants time to prepare. He wasn’t being gracious; simply assuring that upon arrival, everything would be in its proper place. Oh, Sesshoumaru truly believed his reasoning. Just the same as he believed that he killed, for his own purposes, the youkai threatening Jakken’s people. He could have easily stepped around the beast and went on his merry way with no expenditure of energy. However, he decided to instead remove the obstacle, saving his yet to be servant and the entire youkai toad population of that area. But, the king of denial insisted that the offending beast was simply in his way and disobedient of his command. No, he did not do it for the toads. To this day, he believes his version of the tale.

Of course, Jakken had understood completely and it was the sole reason for his devotion. He had a natural ability to see through Sesshoumaru’s glacier facade and to know who Sesshoumaru truly was. There was always a reason for the great Lord’s seemingly cruel actions. Of this, Jakken was certain. And perhaps he was correct. Sesshoumaru did the dirty work needed to keep the land in balance, but not wanting any undue and annoying attention, always saw to it that he appeared to have his own selfish reasons.

And that is the true picture of the proud Lord of the Western Lands. He is not and never will be what he seems. This is the only explanation for the amazed reaction of Inuyasha’s troop when they found the proud Lord, sitting with he back against a tree, a little human girl in his lap, both napping in the middle of the day, sheltered from the sun by the dense foliage. Rin was comfortably curled up inside of Sesshoumaru’s fluffy accompaniment while his own head rested against the tree. It was one thing to allow the girl to follow him, another to show that he truly cared.

“Should we wake him up?” Shippou whispered from his perch on Inuyasha’s shoulders.

“Nah. He needs to rest. Got pretty far for a sick, stubborn, stupid...”

“That is enough, little brother,” Sesshoumaru said quietly as he lifted his head from against the tree. “You are about as silent as a lumbering bear.”

At the feel of Rin stirring in his lap, Sesshoumaru tightened his embrace and glared at those around him, daring them to wake her. They didn’t fail to get the message and moved some distance away. Except for Inuyasha. Knowing that Sesshoumaru wouldn’t make any sudden movement, he sat on his haunches beside Sesshoumaru and stared at Rin.

Finding Sesshoumaru safe and sound had quelled some of Inuyasha’s anger. He would never admit that the root of it was the fear that Sesshoumaru would get into a position that would get him killed in his weakened state. Inuyasha was no less adept at keeping up a facade as his brother. It was simply less than aristocratic in its nature.

Silence reigned as everyone waited for the slumbering girl to awaken. Even Inuyasha relaxed and made himself comfortable beside Sesshoumaru. That didn’t please Kouga at all. The two had become inseparable. Between Rin and Shippou, Kouga had very little time alone with Inuyasha and he was beginning to worry that his friend, and possibly future mate, was growing a bit too attached to the one who had tried to kill Inuyasha on too many occasions. Kouga was still of the opinion that Sesshoumaru had no respect for Inuyasha and no interest in Inuyasha’s happiness.

The little bundle inside of Sesshoumaru’s fur began to wriggle and stretch. As soon as her head peeked out over the fluff, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru nearly had their eardrums split with a loud enthusiastic squeal. Not wasting any time, Rin bound out of Sesshoumaru’s lap and dove into Shippou with a breath stealing hug.

“I knew you’d come!” she exclaimed to Shippou, at which Sesshoumaru’s eyes narrowed before sliding over to glare at Inuyasha.

“Why have you come, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru growled, now that he was able to speak his mind without awakening his charge.

“Keh! You still aren’t well enough to be on your own.”

“I disagree. Despite your opinion, this is your business how?”

“I told you. I have a debt to pay and whether you believe it or not, I always fulfill my obligations,” Inuyasha huffed with more than a little condescension.

Sesshoumaru sighed. He needed time to gather his thoughts and plans. Inuyasha was being an obstacle. Killing Inuyasha would easily solve all of his current problems, but was not an option that he was willing to entertain. So instead, he let out an exasperated sigh.

“If you insist on continuing to be a nuisance, the least that you can do is keep a distance and give me some form of privacy. Or would that be too difficult?”

“I guess we have been cramping your style, even if you did need it. Fine. You won’t even know we’re watching over you.”

“Ridiculous,” Sesshoumaru snorted. As if he would not be able to detect their presence. “You can attempt this lofty goal and I will pretend that I do not notice,” he smirked.

_At least he’s getting back to his old annoying self,’_ Inuyasha thought with hopes that he would soon be out of range of the temptation that Sesshoumaru provided. _One more night should do it. Just one more._

~*~

In the shadows, slightly out of range of the dying fire light, Inuyasha slipped his arm around Sesshoumaru’s waist and slid up along the line of Sesshoumaru’s body, pressing his skin against the heat of that perfect skin. With the necessity to be skin to skin, sleeping in the line of sight of his friends did not seem very prudent.

“Is there any particular reason why you take such liberties with my person?” Sesshoumaru snorted, not having been informed of the meaning of this ritual. He had only been willing to enjoy it while it lasted.

“It heals you,” Inuyasha responded flatly.

“And what has brought you to such a ridiculous observation, little brother?” Sesshoumaru smirked at the unbelievable declaration.

“The old woman forced me with the threat of yanking my ears, and the skin to skin contact has worked so far, if you haven’t noticed. Be quiet and go to sleep.”

“It is only an excuse to be near me.”

“Fuck you. Go to sleep.”

Sesshoumaru was tempted to kick Inuyasha out of their pallet and beat the hanyou within an inch of his life, but wisely decided against it. _‘This has possibilities,’_ he thought with a secretive quirk of his lips. Indeed, many possibilities, and a very inviting opportunity. A little seduction was definitely in order and Sesshoumaru knew that it would not be difficult. His strength had all but returned and he was no longer helpless to stop his brother’s actions should Inuyasha try to spurn him. Also, the presence of the others would temper any struggle that Inuyasha might attempt to make. Even when asleep, Inuyasha could never restrain himself from simple caresses. Yes, it would be very easy indeed.

The wolf had had his opportunity and Sesshoumaru would not be denied his own. Although it was a bit underhanded, at this particular juncture, it was the only option that Sesshoumaru could conjure in his mind. He was tired of waiting, tired of standing on the sidelines while the wolf monopolized what time Inuyasha had alone. Unacceptable. It wasn’t entirely true that Sesshoumaru didn’t have Inuyasha alone with him, but the circumstances were less than desirable and Inuyasha had already spurned him on more than one occasion. Sesshoumaru would win this battle and the war for Inuyasha’s trust and affection.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru wondered how it was that he had come to want the hanyou in the first place. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t noticed Inuyasha’s exotic beauty in the distant past. His goals simply had not allowed him to see Inuyasha as anything other than an abomination. And, his jealousy of the place Inuyasha held in his father’s heart made Inuyasha an easy target for his anger over his father giving Inuyasha the sword, Tetsusaiga. The sword that, by all rights, should have been his. Had it not been for the recent forced close proximity, he never would have discovered Inuyasha’s endearing qualities, nor that the hanyou truly cared for him. Current events had changed everything. They had changed him. The worst of it was that he craved Inuyasha, more so than he had ever desired to possess Tetsusaiga. His strength of will was failing him where his brother was concerned. Inuyasha belonged to him, with him. And we would have him no matter the cost. To that end, Sesshoumaru planned a bit of illicit seduction.

Feigning sleep, Sesshoumaru waited until Inuyasha, and the rest of the camp, had drifted off into peaceful slumber. Only Kilala remained alert, as always, he noted. It didn’t surprise Sesshoumaru when Inuyasha’s nose nuzzled into the nape of his neck. He had endured this behavior for too many nights. Tonight he would have his revenge. With that comforting thought, he waited patiently until Inuyasha’s body had gone completely slack. A little longer, just a little. The hand against his chest began to twitch before Inuyasha fingertips began to trace blind circular patterns. It was almost humorous how the hanyou unconsciously reacted to the one that he supposedly hated. Well, it would have been amusing had it not been such torture.

Carefully, so as not to rouse Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru worked his way to his left side, leaving his one arm free. Inuyasha sniffed and rolled to his back. All the better. The few wisps of white hair draped across Inuyasha’s face were gently removed. In sleep, the gruffness that gave way to soft boyish features could not be ruined by the stark black eyebrows that clashed with the color of his hair. No, Inuyasha was perfect in Sesshoumaru’s eyes. The flesh of his skin had more color than Sesshoumaru’s simply because of the human blood. That, coupled with the obvious and very inhuman ears atop his head, produced an alluring curiosity to many, Sesshoumaru being no exception.

That one night that they had shared seemed so long ago and though he had done his utmost to give Inuyasha pleasure, he had not truly had the opportunity to explore as much as he would have liked. Time had been against him. Impatience to complete his carefully laid plan and quell the sense of guilt played no small part. He could have taken longer, explored his brother more. Even if he had had the time, the fur-covered ears had been missing. As he allowed himself the barest touch against the fur of Inuyasha’s ear, Sesshoumaru wondered. And as his mind wandered, so did his fingers.

Sesshoumaru gently trailed his fingers along Inuyasha’s lips, watching as they parted and as Inuyasha’s head tipped back just the tiniest bit as though expecting a kiss. Perhaps his brother was dreaming about him. It only added to the desire to brush his own lips over Inuyasha’s. Sesshoumaru paused to make certain that Inuyasha’s eyes remained still before leaning down and feathering a barely there kiss over Inuyasha’s lips while drawing in the scent of his brother’s breath. Once again, he wondered at the scent of trees and the fresh air that flowed above them. For such a brash young man, a half human no less, his scent was so clean and light. Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but be drawn by the source and so his kiss became more, fully resting his lips against the softness of Inuyasha’s. A slight sigh escaped Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru hungrily breathed it in as his hand roamed down the line of Inuyasha’s neck, finally settling on his stomach. Sesshoumaru felt a slight quiver and glanced up to see that Inuyasha’s eyes remained closed, but his brother’s eyes had begun to move beneath the eyelids. The curtain of black lace slowly shifted beneath the motion of Inuyasha’s eyes. Suddenly, Inuyasha turned his face away from Sesshoumaru and rubbed his nose with his right hand before smacking his lips and settling his hand beside his face. Just like a child; and he looked like one, too.

Sesshoumaru waited for what seemed like forever until Inuyasha had stilled again. He wasn’t ready for his brother to wake just yet. There was more exploring to be done. Once Inuyasha’s movement subsided, he renewed his exploration of the morsel beside of him. Inuyasha skin glowed a warm peach color that Sesshoumaru’s would always lack. Sesshoumaru marveled at it while he delicately stroked the skin that felt much softer than his youkai skin ever would. Fragile, like all humans, even though Inuyasha was half youkai. However, the warmth radiating through the pores of Inuyasha’s skin spoke of undeniable strength, the muscles beneath hard and sculpted. Sesshoumaru took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before teasing the blanket down to Inuyasha’s hips.

_So beautiful,_ Sesshoumaru thought as his eyes scanned every dip and curve of Inuyasha’s flesh. _Why couldn’t I have seen it before, loved you instead of making your life a living hell?_

Of course, the question was rhetorical, but it echoed his regret. Though he knew that he could never change the past, he could do everything possible to make Inuyasha forget those times, replace them with something wonderful. Yes, he would try.

_I will make it up to you. This I swear,_ he thought grimly as his hand whispered across Inuyasha’s chest and abdomen.

Sesshoumaru rested his hand over the flesh that once housed a gaping hole of his creation. He could feel the tears welling up into his eyes as he leaned over and feathered the area with tender kisses.

“I will make it up to you, little brother,” Sesshoumaru murmured as his lips strayed to Inuyasha’s chest and rested over the rosy flesh of Inuyasha’s nipples.

With languid, circular strokes of his tongue, Sesshoumaru savored the taste that was uniquely Inuyasha before tugging at the stiffening nub. It was amazing. Even in sleep, his body responded to stimulation. Sesshoumaru looked forward to more of this. With that notion in mind, he alternated between nibbling and suckling until the satiny flesh became a small hardened peak. Before moving to the other nipple, Sesshoumaru soothed the one beneath his lips with a gentle lathing, all the while caressing Inuyasha’s abdomen in comforting circles. This was only a taste of what he was after. Not to be sated by such a small amount of pleasure, Sesshoumaru dined on Inuyasha’s flesh, skating his tongue and lips up the throat and underneath the line of Inuyasha’s jaw. Inuyasha shivered and an almost imperceptible moan floated across his succulent lips, momentarily halting Sesshoumaru’s exploration. Impatiently, he waited for the small flutters behind Inuyasha’s eyelids to cease. He wasn’t ready for Inuyasha to wake. Not yet.

Inuyasha’s ears were very inviting, but so sensitive that Sesshoumaru knew that he needed to be careful. He just couldn’t leave them untouched. They were much too inviting, that velvety down that blanketed tender pink flesh. Sesshoumaru stared for a moment then skated his lips along the very edges of Inuyasha’s ears. As predicted, the ears were very sensitive. Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha’s abdominal muscles flutter and he was graced with another quiet moan. Almost there. He didn’t need to lower his hand to find out whether or not Inuyasha was yet to be aroused. The delicious scent of it was already wafting up through his nostrils. Yet, he had to touch. Couldn’t wait. Beneath his exploring fingers, he felt the jut of Inuyasha’s hip bone and caressed it for a moment before, with agonizing slowness, he drew them across Inuyasha’s stiff erection. As he feathered caresses up and down the length of Inuyasha’s shaft, Inuyasha rolled his head to the side and mewled. It sounded almost like a reaction to pain and Sesshoumaru noticed the slight furrowing of Inuyasha’s brow.

It was time.

Turning to make certain that everyone was still sleeping, Sesshoumaru carefully slid from beneath the blanket and nearly shivered as the cool night air wafted across his obvious arousal. With two steps, he retrieved his fluffy pelt, gathering Inuyasha inside of it, blankets and all. The boy must have had a rough day to sleep through that. That or Sesshoumaru was just that smooth. Turning to walk away from camp, he found himself confronted with a threatening, two-tailed neko.

“Have no fear, neko. I will return him shortly, unharmed,” Sesshoumaru whispered, attempting to avoid awakening anyone with a cat fight.

Kilala growled her displeasure, but stalked away nonetheless. No one had really taken a lot of notice of her meanderings about. She knew what had been going on, and was just as concerned for Inuyasha as anyone else. If she could trust anyone not to lie to her, outside of Sango, it would have to be Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha had saved her life more times than she could count. And by the Gods, she would rip Sesshoumaru to pieces if he hurt Inuyasha. As she sat and watched Sesshoumaru float away, she wondered if she should follow, but scanning the camp, she decided that it would be better to keep guard over her charges. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru could defend themselves much better than her human companions. Another disgruntled growl rumbled through her ribcage as she lay down next to Sango and waited for Inuyasha’s return.

“Now little brother, I shall give you what you seek,” Sesshoumaru murmured as he lay Inuyasha down on the soft mossy ground surrounding a secluded hot spring.

With Sesshoumaru’s ability to defy gravity, it had not taken long to put quite a distance between himself and the others, although it did sap his strength somewhat. He might not like to admit it, but he still wasn’t completely well. It would have been better if he had had the time to rest and regain his energy, but there was no time.

Ever so gently, and taking the time to allow Inuyasha’s body to adjust in the change, he peeled away the layers of fluff and blankets until Inuyasha lay half exposed before him. He was too impatient to wait any longer. It was obvious that too little time had passed for Inuyasha to lose his erection and now that was the focus of Sesshoumaru’s attention. His own groin ached with need. Whether or not to take care of that would depend on Inuyasha’s response to his actions.

Straddling Inuyasha’s legs, Sesshoumaru peeled the blanket down from Inuyasha’s waist, away from hips, and gazed at Inuyasha’s softening erection, still pink from the blood engorgement. Not wanting to startle Inuyasha, he first caressed his brother’s abdomen then leaned down to nibble along the line of the sleeping hanyou’s hips, delighted with the slight shift in an upward motion. As Sesshoumaru’s tongue lathed the creases of Inuyasha’s groin, he noticed the rise in Inuyasha’s erection. It was a beautiful sight and he hoped that his brother would allow him to continue. There was no doubt in his mind that Inuyasha would soon awaken and he hoped for a positive response.

Wanting his answer and with his patience waning, Sesshoumaru, with his saliva slicked tongue, slowly and tenderly trailed a path from beneath the hardened bulges beneath Inuyasha’s member, up along the shaft, and twirled it over the head of Inuyasha’s very alive and hard erection. It was when he wrapped his lips around the head and slid the hot length down his throat that he heard a guttural groan. His suckling was gentle as he raised his head, bringing his mouth back up to the tip, and once again, swirling his tongue along the bottom edge of the head then over the slit at the top, spreading through his mouth the salty liquid seeping from the tip.

A deep angry growl spread through the air and Sesshoumaru looked up to gaze at Inuyasha’s face as he lowered his mouth back down the shaft, his eyes locking with crimson. Jagged, lavender stripes adorned Inuyasha’s cheeks and fangs extended beyond his lower lips. Suddenly, fingers with unusually long sharp claws were rushing toward Sesshoumaru’s face.

~*~*~*~*~*~

***Disclaimer***

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not own Inuyasha. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru android to use and abuse at will._

~*~*~*~*~*~


	13. Giving In

~*~

**Chapter 13**

**Giving In**

  


Something tickled, but not in a bad way. In fact, it was quite pleasant. Had it not felt so good, Inuyasha would have thought that a bug was attacking his ear. He was a bit disappointed when the sensation ceased. Unfortunately, tonight his dreams had been filled with Sesshoumaru touching him and loving him. It had to be Sesshoumaru messing with his ear. The scent wafting through his dream was too telling. Still, it felt so good that he never wanted it to end.

In a world of his own making, Sesshoumaru could not hurt him. However, when he felt the wet heat at his groin, the sensations became much too real. Deciding to avoid alerting Sesshoumaru to his wakening state, Inuyasha cracked his eyes open and realized that the campfire had disappeared, only to be replaced with warm steam that clouded the starlit heavens. Obviously, the mist was coming from a hot spring.

When wet heat engulfed him, he couldn’t help but groan and dig his claws into the blanket beneath him. How could he take advantage of me like this? It’s just wrong. He knows I don’t want him touching me, knows that I hate him.

Of course, he didn’t hate Sesshoumaru, but that thought was all that kept him from falling straight into Sesshoumaru’s arms. Inuyasha had completely forgotten about the kisses he had stolen while Sesshoumaru had been unconscious. He had forgotten about the caresses with which he had branded Sesshoumaru while he had believed that his brother was sleeping. He was just as guilty as Sesshoumaru was now.

Then, he remembered; the betrayal. The memories of his initial attack on Kouga while the anger toward Sesshoumaru had surged through him crashed into his mind and body as though a dam had broken. Sesshoumaru was a traitor who hated him, insulted him for being a hanyou, and attempted to kill him on numerous occasions. And now, the great Lord deigned himself worthy to take him while he slept!? Unbelievable! The bastard had shredded his very heart and soul, taking everything from him.

There was no excuse for Sesshoumaru’s behavior, none whatsoever. How can he touch me like this!? Did his brother want to completely and utterly destroy him? No! I will not, cannot allow that to happen! The deep well of pain and anger washed over him in a scalding wave while whispering that he was in danger of losing everything again, even his very life, whether by Sesshoumaru’s hand or by his own. It didn’t matter which. He would never sink into despair of that magnitude ever again. But what could he do? He was in a vulnerable position and Sesshoumaru was much too strong for him.

‘Danger! screamed his mind, heart and soul. Danger!

The beast within him clawed desperately to break free and attack the threat. Still, in the very back of his mind, where his oldest memories lay and where the innocence had not yet been lost, that thing that permeated the entirety of his being, he remembered.

Just say it, Sessy. Don’t you love me too?

That, and only that, just barely kept the beast from completely breaking free when he glanced down to see Sesshoumaru violating his body. He didn’t even try to reign in the growl of warning.

Not allowed! the beast howled.

There was no thought as he grabbed Sesshoumaru’s hair and yanked the offender from his body, throwing Sesshoumaru to the ground beside him. Inuyasha wasted no time, and with a feral growl, pounced on his brother. It was disappointing when the creature beneath him did not fight. It just gazed at him as though waiting. This didn’t make any sense at all. It should be fighting for its life!

Should I fight against Inuyasha he will continue to feel threatened and will advance in his transformation to the point where he is beyond my reach. Then there will be no reasoning with him. If I can convince his youkai that I mean no harm, perhaps it will be easier for his human half to accept me, thought Sesshoumaru, though it did prick him to the core that he was allowing Inuyasha to dominate him.

Sesshoumaru didn’t struggle. Not out of fear, but because he knew that Inuyasha needed something from him, and violence wasn’t it. Inuyasha had every right to feel violated and this response, though unexpected, was justifiable. While in his full demon state, the hanyou rarely lost his mind completely, and Sesshoumaru was certain that he could reason with the demon. Of course, miscalculating could have detrimental effects, getting killed being one of those particulars. Nevertheless, he understood that his brother may need to express his pain as a form of angry vengeance. It was acceptable, and perhaps, warranted. At least, in Inuyasha’s mind. In the hopes that it would bridge the gap between them, Sesshoumaru would give his brother what he could.

After a few moments of his claws digging into his brother’s neck, Inuyasha loosened his grip. He was not being threatened. Why? It was suspicious enough that Inuyasha’s beast was not about to remove his grip on his brother’s throat, nor remove his claws from Sesshoumaru’s ribs. He had to find out why though, find out if there really was a threat before he rent the creature’s throat to shreds. It would be easy enough. He definitely had the upper hand. At least, that’s what he believed.

“Traitor,” he growled out.

“No.” The reply was soft, not combative in the least.

“You hurt me.”

“No.” Again, the same softness.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes as the blue irises began to shrink, his beast gaining ground.

“Liar!”

The next answer confused him.

“Kohaku.”

“Kohaku?”

“He hurt his sister, the slayer. Was that his wish?”

Inuyasha furrowed his brow as he searched the memories that were fading under his beast’s influence.

“Kohuku. Naraku’s puppet. Jewel shard.”

“Yes.”

“You no shard!”

“No, Naraku’s poison.”

Finally the betrayer explained.

“You saved my life. I would never have harmed you, never, little brother.” The voice became even softer.

Inuyasha’s lips thinned into a tight line.

“You hate hanyou brother,” he growled.

“No.”

“You want sword! Kill me for sword!”

“No.”

“You lie!”

“No,” the betrayer whispered.

That couldn’t be true. He was lying. Inuyasha tightened his grip then flinched when his brother’s hand lifted to trace the jagged stripes on his demon cheeks. The claws in Sesshoumaru’s side dug deeper in warning as Inuyasha took his hand from Sesshoumaru’s neck and pinned the offending arm to the ground.

“Sessy says it. I say it. I love you, little brother,” the creature murmured.

Perhaps this was what Inuyasha needed to hear most, and even though it was just as difficult to voice those words as it had been before, Sesshoumaru knew that it needed to be done. He meant them, but the words were so often abused that they always felt like lies to him. However, he would learn to use those words without hating them, for Inuyasha’s sake.

Inuyasha’s grip loosened and the claws retreated from Sesshoumaru’s ribs, but only for a moment.

“Poison!”

“No.”

“Liar!”

“Smell me, Inuyasha. You will know,” Sesshoumaru invited, turning his head to the side.

Now, things were going to get truly dangerous. By baring his throat to Inuyasha, he was risking having it torn out. Had Inuyasha truly wanted to kill him, he would have already made the attempt. Right now, all Inuyasha needed was reassurance that he was in no danger. It would cost Sesshoumaru nothing to give him that, except a small, disposable amount of his dignity. As no one was there to see, this one time would be too insignificant to dwell upon.

In his demon state, Inuyasha’s sense of smell was more pronounced, and he knew that if Sesshoumaru were still infected, he would smell it. He knew that the scent of poison had to be there. This was no different than the last time. The real Sesshoumaru would never be so kind with him, would never say that he loved him. And to prove it, Inuyasha’s beast leaned forward and sniffed behind Sesshoumaru’s left ear. Surprisingly, there was no sign of the poison, so he continued, sniffing Sesshoumaru’s neck, his nose and lips, and finally under Sesshoumaru’s arms where the scents were more pronounced.

Nothing, absolutely...nothing.

Inuyasha rose up and furrowed his brow. “No poison...” He was quiet for a moment, confused and uncertain. His pupils dilated as he beast began to feel less threatened. Crimson faded as Inuyasha gave Sesshoumaru a determined stare.

“Say it again! Now!” Inuyasha growled from low in his belly.

There was no doubt in Sesshoumaru’s mind exactly what Inuyasha was referring to.

“I love you. Sessy loves you,” he murmured, still with an uncharacteristic softness.

In Inuyasha’s eyes, blue flickered to black and crimson faded to gold while his beast gradually receded. Fisting his hands at his temples, Inuyasha clenched his teeth and threw his head back, a high keening just barely escaping from his constricted throat while the despair, longing, and dread took hold as the threshold of dreams fulfilled crumbled and those emotions gathered themselves in full force and pushed their way to the surface. The high-pitched keening filled the secluded area with his aching sorrow, his pain echoing in the hollow of the night, the scent of tears permeating the air.

Once his lungs were depleted of oxygen, and the heartrending sound had dissipated, Inuyasha dropped his head and arms, only to encounter Sesshoumaru’s shoulders.

“Say it again,” Inuyasha whimpered, his beast having fully retreated.

“Again, Sessy,” Inuyasha whispered his plea from the deepest depths of his very soul as he rested his cheek on Sesshoumaru’s shoulder.

“I love you, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru murmured, and with a finger under Inuyasha’s chin, tipped his face upward.

Concern was clearly written on the face that had always kept any emotion well hidden beneath an uncaring facade. Voicing those words had been easier this time. Perhaps, he could become comfortable with speaking them.

Those words were what Inuyasha had wanted, needed, and longed to hear. But could he trust the words? Oh, how he wanted to! Could he give Sesshoumaru the benefit of the doubt? If it didn’t work out, would Kouga be there to help him pick up the pieces? Somehow, he knew that Kouga had become a loyal friend that wouldn’t desert him, regardless of the situation. The only problem was that Kouga had betrayed him, too. Why did it seem that everyone had, at some point in time, betrayed him in some form or fashion? Was he expecting too much of everyone? Would friends always see things from his point of view, to such an extent that their actions would always be what he expected of them? Was he making the wrong choice in friends? Was there something wrong with him?

So deep in thought was he that he hadn’t noticed Sesshoumaru caressing his back or threading long fingers through his hair, not until Sesshoumaru began to massage the base of his left ear.

“Tell me that you mean it, that you won’t hurt me again. Make me believe it, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha whispered as he closed his eyes and leaned in to Sesshoumaru’s fingers.

“I cannot force you to believe that my words are true, Inuyasha. You must determine whether or not to have faith in me,” Sesshoumaru replied solemnly.

“You can’t prove it, but you want me to trust you?”

“It is your only option, little brother,” Sesshoumaru murmured while restraining the urge to ask that Inuyasha simply trust him. It would be fruitless. Inuyasha had to make up his own mind. Only Sesshoumaru’s action, or inaction, would make the difference. Right now, there was only one thing he could do. He pushed Inuyasha from his shoulder and reached out to trail the line of Inuyasha’s lips with his thumb. He watched as the plump flesh quivered beneath his touch. Even Inuyasha’s ears seemed to slightly quivering.

“I am here now. Tell me what to do, little brother. What do you need?”

Inuyasha sighed, and without thought, ran his hand over Sesshoumaru’s chest.

“I need...”

There was a long moment of silence.

“...you,” he whispered with a slight tremor of uncertainty in his voice. In the back of Inuyasha’s mind, a little voice was asking, Why would he care what I need? Are you really sure that this is Sesshoumaru and not some imposter?

But he chose not to listen. Scent didn’t lie.

Inuyasha didn’t want to say it, to expose his vulnerability, to make it real. But this conflict within him had to end. The time to face his fear would come eventually. It would be better to do it now, outside the presence of the others. He wouldn’t have to worry about embarrassing and humiliating himself in front of witnesses. And it didn’t really matter one way or another how Sesshoumaru felt about his behavior. As it was, he was already taking a bigger risk.

“I am here,” Sesshoumaru replied, pointing out the obvious, but the words holding a much deeper meaning.

“Yes...how long? For how long, Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha asked, searching Sesshoumaru’s amber orbs for any sign of a lie.

“As long as you need me.” Sesshoumaru’s eyes spoke truth, but it wasn’t enough.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

Still truth.

“You really mean it?”

“Yes.”

There just weren’t enough promises in the world to reassure Inuyasha right now. Would there ever be enough? He didn’t know. Sesshoumaru was right. It was up to him to decide whether or not to have faith in his brother, his one time lover. And, there was only one way to find out the truth; give Sesshoumaru the chance to undo what had been done, the opportunity to prove himself. Inuyasha could not run forever with his thoughts plagued with what might have been had he had the courage to take that step toward reconciliation. There was no denying this necessary obligation to himself and to Sesshoumaru. Besides, he was unsure where his life would take him were he to be without the one that had become the water to his thirst, the light in his darkness, the conqueror of his heart.

“Come to me, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru murmured, slipping his hand beneath Inuyasha’s hair, around the back of his neck, and giving a slight tug.

Inuyasha took a deep breath, and with it, the plunge, wondering at what point he would run...or drown.

  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~

**Disclaimer**

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not own Inuyasha and make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru android to use and abuse at will.

  



	14. Reconcilliation

**~*~**

**Chapter 14**

_**Reconciliation** _

Now, in his hanyou form, Inuyasha’s senses were much more acute than they had been on the first night that he and Sesshoumaru had shared the ultimate intimacy. Being that he could only discern a barely restrained longing in Sesshoumaru’s eyes, he allowed himself to be drawn toward those amber orbs, the blue crescent moon, the mauve stripes, the face that he could never get out of his dreams or his thoughts. Without even realizing that he had moved, the sight became accompanied by warm breath, barely felt, but the scent strong and enticing. It seemed that perhaps Sesshoumaru found it as difficult to breathe as he did, both stuttering in shallow, short, pants. Eyes still open, the source of that breath was cut off as their lips met, ever so lightly, Sesshoumaru’s as soft as silk, barely touching, but sending out waves as hot as the lava. 

Falling into the heartwarming, body-scorching sensation, Inuyasha finally closed his eyes and tilted his head to the right. He applied the smallest amount of pressure and took Sesshoumaru’s bottom lip between his own, savoring the sliver of flesh for a long moment before bringing his face back around in front of Sesshoumaru’s, then slowly leaning to the left. It was a leisurely pace set by Inuyasha while he traveled the flesh of Sesshoumaru’s face and neck, periodically returning to those succulent lips, not leaving an inch untouched.

It seemed that Sesshoumaru was content to allow Inuyasha to touch and scent him, to be the one in control, as though he did not want to scare Inuyasha away, which probably was a very good idea. Aggressively seeking his own desires would give Inuyasha the impression that his purpose was only to sate his own needs without consideration to Inuyasha’s. Consequently, he held his breath and sat frozen, though it took much of his reserves to do so. The feel of Inuyasha’s flesh against him, and the spicy forest scent permeating his nose, wreaked havoc with his senses. Not to mention the tentative touch of Inuyasha’s lips. Patience and purpose would not be undermined by weakness of the body. He could, and would, restrain himself no matter how much Inuyasha might decide to torture him.

Though, unintentionally, Inuyasha did just that. Leaning slightly to the left, Inuyasha nibbled on Sesshoumaru’s upper lip, still not drawing it fully between his own, while his right hand began carefully tracing circles on Sesshoumaru’s chest. It was sheer torment as Inuyasha made trails along Sesshoumaru’s cheeks, not truly kisses, but with slightly parted lips skimming the skin, leaving the dew of his breath. The feather light touches were driving Sesshoumaru mad. Finally, Inuyasha relaxed into Sesshoumaru’s lap and sunk fully into his mouth, to which Sesshoumaru risked responding, sliding his tongue along Inuyasha’s, carefully suckling. A moan was wrenched from Sesshoumaru when Inuyasha ran the tip of his tongue around Sesshoumaru’s fangs while digging his hands up under the silky mane that ran down Sesshoumaru’s back. Such teasing tenderness made Sesshoumaru’s chest tight with longing, but not for the physical, but rather for Inuyasha’s affection.

Sliding his hand from beneath Inuyasha’s thick, white mane, Sesshoumaru brought it up to palm Inuyasha’s left cheek, his thumb gently skating along the cheekbone that was still slicked with tears. His heart ached with the knowledge that he was the cause, though he would never admit such a weakness to anyone.

At this unexpected show of affection, Inuyasha withdrew his hands from Sesshoumaru’s hair and brought them down to wrap around Sesshoumaru’s torso then pulled himself tighter against that healing embrace and began to unconsciously roll his body in wave after wave against Sesshoumaru, grinding their hips together.

Though savoring the silk of Sesshoumaru’s lips, and being held skin to skin against his warmth was very enjoyable, Inuyasha felt physically dirty. The perspiration caused by the recent turmoil clung to him, carrying with it the scent of doubt, fear, despair, desperation and anger. It was becoming more and more intolerable by the moment, reminding him of all the reasons that he should not be doing this. If he were going to make any progress, the scents of the past needed to be washed away, leaving him clean in his body, mind, heart, and soul.

“Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha whispered, his breath pouring its heat against Sesshoumaru’s lips. “I need to bathe.”

“I agree,” Sesshoumaru murmured, yet remaining stationary.

Inuyasha pulled away, lifting an eyebrow. “Are you saying I stink?” 

Of course, he was not serious, knowing full well that Sesshoumaru’s senses were much keener that his own.

The right corner of Sesshoumaru’s lips tilted upward, “No, little brother. But, I do understand.”

And he did. He could smell it just as well as Inuyasha and did not want anything hindering their progress any more so than Inuyasha desired. This was, after all, a very delicate situation. They were traversing thin ice that could split with the slightest wrong move. The scents coating them both would be no different than warm heat, teasing the ice, taunting it to break. Yes, bathing was a very good idea.

When Inuyasha moved to stand, Sesshoumaru caught him around the waist and easily lifted them both, Inuyasha being forced to wrap his arms and legs around Sesshoumaru. One might think that with only one arm, rising from such a position would be difficult for Sesshoumaru, but not only did he have much practice, he was also able to defy gravity, a very handy ability in a situation like this. Rather than walking the short distance to the water, he graced Inuyasha with a smooth lift into the air then gradually sank into the heated water at the center of the spring.

“I wish I could do that,” Inuyasha complained.

_This is only one of the injustices of being born a half-breed. It should not have been thus,_ thought Sesshoumaru, but knowing that if he were to voice such a thought, Inuyasha would take it as an insult, though it was only the simple truth. Yet, that one little sentence enlightened Sesshoumaru. Yes, Inuyasha was stronger than the most powerful hanyou, but he was missing many of the advantages of being full youkai. It was these numerous small weaknesses that could get Inuyasha killed one day. Sesshoumaru knew this, had always known it, which was the main reason for continually attacking Inuyasha. If Inuyasha could not survive, it was best that Sesshoumaru dealt him a quick death and not something slow and painful that he might otherwise receive from another. Until now, he had not fully realized that he had been doing Inuyasha a favor and it surprised him somewhat. He didn’t so much hate Inuyasha as he felt pity for a creature that was deprived of the means of survival, and that at the same time, had the misfortune of being the target of much hatred. It would have been best for his parents to have never conceived Inuyasha, or to have killed him at birth for the simple fact that his entire life would be an injustice, a travesty. However, Sesshoumaru had never been able to end his brother’s life, despite having had ample opportunities. He could never bring himself to do so. And he had often wondered why that was. 

_Have I always loved Inuyasha?_

Before Sesshoumaru could answer that question, Inuyasha slid away from him and stood neck deep in the water then laid his ears back and sank below the surface. 

_What the hell is he thinking about?_ Inuyasha thought as he shoved away from Sesshoumaru, dove beneath the water, and rolled to his belly. The rush of water skimmed along his body, taking with it the grime of his previous emotions. The only downside was the water that invaded his ears. He hated that, but it wasn’t preventable. As soon as he broke the surface, he gave his head a vigorous shake in order to expel the water from deep within his ear canals.

“Is that truly necessary, Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru asked as he wiped the water from his eyes.

“Well, the shit gets in my ears and it...tickles,” Inuyasha said as a blush crept across his cheeks. “That’s why I prefer waterfalls. It’s easier to keep the water out,” Inuyasha added.

“Ah, I see,” Sesshoumaru responded, relieved that it wasn’t some low breed instinct, but rather a necessity. 

_I must remember that,_ Sesshoumaru thought, searching his mind for a waterfall on his property while he also sank into the water and swam underneath the surface toward Inuyasha.

Water never bothered Sesshoumaru much, and during the day, the fact that he could see somewhat compensated for the restriction on his sense of smell. But it was the dark of night, and the only sense that he could rely on was touch, making him feel out of his depth, something that required greater concentration and putting him in a more defensive mode, which was why he grabbed and drew up out of the water the thing that was abruptly slithering along his flesh. What he held in his claws was the arm of one surprised Inuyasha.

“My...apologies, Inuyasha," he muttered hesitantly. Apologizing wasn’t something to which he was accustomed and he had found himself doing much of that for Inuyasha lately. It was irritating, almost as irritating as relying on only one sense.

“It’s alright,” Inuyasha responded before shaking his head again. “I shouldn’t have done that with you not being able to see and all.”

Sesshoumaru flinched and turned his head while being pelted with drops of water that seemed to have turned into tiny weapons.

“If it would not be too much trouble, warn me before you do that,” he sort of asked, but mostly demanded as he turned back to face Inuyasha.

Inuyasha cracked a wry grin. He had just found a new way to annoy Sesshoumaru. “I’ll try to remember that, though I can’t make any promises.”

Unaware, the world disappeared into the small grin on Inuyasha’s face, a pleasant return to the person Sesshoumaru had known weeks ago, or was it months now? 

Inuyasha could have sworn that Sesshoumaru was smiling, though it did not appear on his brother’s lips. He waited in anticipation, hoping for the smile to break free from its confines. As he waited, he didn’t even realize that his own mischievous smile had given way to one that was a bit more wistful. He continued to stare as Sesshoumaru gazed at him. And then it happened; the smallest upturn at the corners of Sesshoumaru’s lips.

“I love you,” Sesshoumaru whispered, and this time it wasn’t forced at all.

Inuyasha’s eyes widened as his jaw began its slow descent, his lips parting, only to be taken advantage of by Sesshoumaru’s mouth, hungrily devouring his lips and tongue. Inuyasha had been very aware that those words were always accompanied by some tension on Sesshoumaru’s part. The fact that they were spoken without hesitation, without force, sent Inuyasha into that kiss with his entire being. He reveled in the knowledge that Sesshoumaru seemed to truly mean what he was saying. He could barely believe it. It took the breath right out of him. His ears rang with the sound of Sesshoumaru’s melodious baritone voice, those words filling the halls of his empty heart. However, he wondered if it was too soon to be giving himself over to these regenerated emotions. There was still that seed of doubt, that instinct to protect himself.

It was obvious to Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha was thinking again; a bad omen. Withdrawing from the kiss, Sesshoumaru turned a serious gaze to Inuyasha’s confused countenance.

“Inuyasha...I do not wish for you to feel coerced into this.”

“Keh! You’re the one that kidnapped me!”

“Yes, and I attempted to seduce you. Perhaps...it would be best that I returned you to camp?” It was a test, but necessary to insure that Sesshoumaru didn’t make a mistake that could not be repaired.

“No,” Inuyasha whispered, punctuating his response by shaking his head.

“Are you absolutely certain that you will not hate me when all is said and done? Can you be confident in your response?”

Inuyasha’s face fell when he realized that he could not answer right away. The fact that he even needed to think about it told him that Sesshoumaru may have a point. Disappointed in his hesitancy and what it meant, Inuyasha stepped away from Sesshoumaru and walked away with his head hanging down, his bangs covering his face. Glancing around, he decided to go back to shore and lay down on the bed of blankets and Sesshoumaru’s pelt. He turned away toward the shadows of the forest, unable to look at his brother. 

When it came right down to it, he was still concerned that he would regret his decision later. That grievous obstruction kept bearing down on him. He had to overcome this obstacle. Fleeing the inevitable would only prolong his indecision and haunt him. There was one other detrimental effect. He could lose Sesshoumaru, and that was a prospect that he wasn’t sure that he could endure. So, he had to make a choice. And the only choice was as obvious as the fact that the grass was green in spring. It didn’t matter how things turned out. It was his decision and his responsibility, no room for regrets. If it didn’t work out, he would survive and would go on with his life. What other choice would there be?

As Inuyasha was making plans for what he would do should this endeavor fail, something warm slid down beside him and he felt himself being pulled against Sesshoumaru’s chest, cocooned when the fluffy pelt was pulled around them. The spicy scent that was Sesshoumaru drifted up his nostrils. 

This felt right. This was where he belonged, where he desired to be. This was...home.

Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha relax against him and took that as a sign that Inuyasha had made his decision. There were two ways to find out. He chose not to ask, but to let actions speak for him. Laying on his left side, he encircled Inuyasha’s waist with his right arm and slid his hand upward to press against the center of Inuyasha’s chest while wrapping his right leg around Inuyasha’s. There was no struggling when he crushed Inuyasha against his body, no attempts to pull away when he ran the tip of his tongue along the outer edge of Inuyasha’s right ear. So far, so good.

The beat of Inuyasha’s heart quickened and he melted when he was drawn into the warm body behind him. Surprisingly, his earlier reservations blinked out of existence. There were no words spoken, none were necessary. A silent understanding, perhaps a matter of scent, passed through them both and the world of sight disappeared behind Inuyasha’s eyelids while he focused on Sesshoumaru’s touch. It was not a difficult thing to allow his eyes to close. The sensation of touch and the scent of Sesshoumaru filled his senses. Goosebumps traveled to cover every inch of his skin when wet warmth tickled the edges of the tender triangular ears that grew from beneath his white mane. An abrupt flick caused his ear to brush across Sesshoumaru’s moistened lips, prompting a shudder to run through his body.

Sesshoumaru wasn’t certain that teasing Inuyasha’s ear was pleasant for his brother, but the thing was just so readily available and he was willing to test the idea. Gliding his hand upward and sliding it beneath Inuyasha’s face in order to wrap his hand around Inuyasha’s jaw and cheeks, Sesshoumaru held his brother immobile while licking more liberally around the edges of the delicate ear. A shuddering breath later, Inuyasha’s back arched. A good lathing had Inuyasha squirming and panting, but there were no complaints. It pleased Sesshoumaru to no end that the hanyou’s ears were not so much ticklish as sensitive and that he could wring such a response out of Inuyasha. It was much too easy. Not only that, but Inuyasha’s writhing was exciting a particularly sensitive organ of his own body. Then something extraordinary happened. Sesshoumaru sucked the now overly sensitized ear into his mouth and Inuyasha nearly screamed and bucked against him. Sesshoumaru couldn’t stop suckling and had to keep a tight hold on Inuyasha in order to continue the torture. 

Both began rocking their bodies in tandem and Sesshoumaru was forced to roll over and pin Inuyasha to the ground. He smiled when he discovered that he had access to Inuyasha’s other ear and he wasted no time taking advantage.

“Fuck, Sesshoumaru! You’re killing me!” Inuyasha gasped.

“Would you prefer that I cease devouring your delectable self?” Sesshoumaru rumbled, his voice deeper than usual.

The answer wasn’t immediate.

_Keh! If he doesn’t stop, this is going to be over before we even get started,_ Inuyasha thought. But that was as far as he got.

Once again, Inuyasha’s left ear was sucked into Sesshoumaru hot, wet mouth to be nibbled, licked, and suckled. Inuyasha’s mind became a puddle of wanton desire as his body lost control and did its best to thrash around beneath Sesshoumaru. However, he was effectively pinned and only succeeded in writhing against Sesshoumaru’s body, a body which was enjoying it very much. Sight, hearing, every sense but touch, escaped Inuyasha. His mind was gone and he didn’t care. There was no concept of time, of what would happen in the morning, of the consequences they could suffer. The only thing that he knew was that his body craved more and he was giving in without a thought.

And that was just fine by Sesshoumaru. He was getting what he needed, as was Inuyasha. The body attempting to contort beneath him was rubbing him in all the right places. His straining erection glided between the globes of Inuyasha's ass, the slick wetness of its own making smoothing the way, and he wasn’t the one moving, yet. He too became lost, devoured by the sensations that Inuyasha was evoking, but not just the physical. Inuyasha was wholly giving in to him. There was no resistance, no hesitancy. There were no outside forces pushing or pulling, forcing them apart. Their entire beings were in agreement. And this only added fuel to the fire.

“No more. No more,” Inuyasha gasped and thought that he had won a reprieve when his left ear slid from between Sesshoumaru’s lips.

That wasn’t the case, which became distinctly clear once Sesshoumaru had him by the right ear. Inuyasha groaned. He was thinking that he would not be able to endure much more when he felt Sesshoumaru grasping his shoulder and pulling upward, turning him around and facing him toward his brother. Sesshoumaru spread his own legs underneath Inuyasha’s thighs, sliding Inuyasha into his lap and bending his knees, locking Inuyasha into a full body embrace. And all the while, Sesshoumaru never released his hold on Inuyasha’s ear. For a brief moment, Inuyasha was paralyzed as the old hesitation won out. With determination, Inuyasha stomped that doubt out of existence. He wanted this and he was going to have it. 

There was no preparation, no real foreplay. Inuyasha either didn’t need it or didn’t want to take the time. What he needed was something more substantial, a new and stronger bond. With that in his heart, he rested is forehead against Sesshoumaru’s chin, raised up onto his knees and reached down, taking hold of Sesshoumaru’s stiff erection then guided the already lubricated tip to the entrance of his aching body. He wanted Sesshoumaru in him, filling him, loving him.

“Sesshoumaru,” he whispered a near silent prayer as he closed his eyes and lowered himself down Sesshoumaru’s sleek shaft.

Both men tensed and closed their eyes as Inuyasha sank into Sesshoumaru’s lap, trembling.

_Finally, finally,_ echoed in Inuyasha’s mind, as well as in Sesshoumaru’s. He was completely filled, connected in a way that could not be had in any other way.

The light shuddering of Inuyasha’s body prompted Sesshoumaru to grip him in a tight embrace. And there they stayed, for long moments, basking in the healing warmth of skin against skin. Their surroundings evaporated as they gave in to each other, no hesitation left, only needy hunger and desire. And from there, nothing else mattered.

Their mouths crashed together. They devoured each other, their bodies taking on a life outside of their minds and thoughts as they began to move unconsciously with the rhythm of the universe. Fire and ice vied for dominance. They gave themselves over to the craving for each other’s touch and clutched at each other as though each was attempting to become one with the other. The strength of their individual spirits blended into one and brought the night to life with the inferno of their passion. And it burned; it burned with the heat of a thousand stars. Even the wood of the forest felt the struggle to take all that could be given and feared being burnt to ash with the blast of ancient energy.

A writhing mass of tangled limbs fell into the white down that covered the ground. Inuyasha sat up and rode Sesshoumaru amid swirling light against black velvet. He soared as Sesshoumaru bucked against him and reached out to grip his erection.

“Se…Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha gasped as that tension grew in his belly and spread throughout all of his muscles, tightening more and more with each passing moment. Through the blinding pleasure, he hadn’t even been aware that he had been speaking.

This moment of bonding was so incredible that Sesshoumaru barely heard his name whispered on Inuyasha’s breath, much less able to even breathe himself. Inuyasha had him arching from the ground in his hunger for more, more than he could ever have. He threw his head back, his neck straining as he reached for that peak that just might give him the very thing that he needed, to be unequivocally one with his brother, his chosen, the one that he would keep forever.

Sesshoumaru flung his head to the side as his eyes glazed over. His body drove itself into his lover over and over again. The tension that Inuyasha was feeling becoming his own, winding tighter and tighter until he felt that he would snap and break into a million slivers of pleasure that, in its intensity, bordered on pain. As he arched into the last throes of his aching need, Inuyasha fell and slid his arms around Sesshoumaru’s neck and hung on while they were pummeled by the approaching firestorm.

Soaring higher and higher, beyond what could be deemed a state of consciousness, the two exploded. Inuyasha reared, throwing his head back, his white mane flaring as his howl echoed and mingled with Sesshoumaru’s. Both quaked as they were blinded with white searing heat. In the wind howling through Sesshoumaru, his entire body seemed to leave the ground before convulsing in the rampaging fury of sensation.

Their bliss faded all too soon, their tight embrace seeking to banish the reality creeping in. Aftershocks, teasing their flesh with the memory of moments passed, gradually seeped from their bodies, leaving them exhausted. Though sound returned, cherished silence reigned, neither willing to sever the bond with useless words. Time, never ending, stretched out and floated on the breeze until both slipped into the comfort of a shared, dreamless sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

***** _**Disclaimer** _ *****

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._


	15. Home's Embrace

~*~

**Chapter 15**

_**Home’s Embrace** _

The first rays of dawn awoke the sleeping wolf leader and the first things that always hit his nose were the scents of the morning dew. Today, the mingling of the fresh breeze was corrupted by a musky taint. Opening his eyes, Kouga stared across the clearing to see Inuyasha tucked against Sesshoumaru’s chest. Their countenances were one of peace as they rested in a sleep much too deep for this hour. Kouga sniffed deeply. He hadn’t been wrong.

Sex.

Sex and…flowers? Rin and Shippou just never gave up. Scattered haphazardly over the two brothers were a multitude of flowers. The picture was strange to say the least.

Kouga massaged his temples as he stared at the serenity exuded from his best friend. A nice tight knot was forming in his belly as he considered the fact that he would not be able to protect Inuyasha. There had to be a way. There just had to be.

_Inuyasha, what have you done? He will only turn on you again,_ Kouga thought with a silent sigh and dropped from the fallen tree that he had made his resting place for the night. _What am I going to do with you? You have no idea what you are getting yourself into._

Kouga stretched and wrinkled his nose at the annoying scent. It was going to be a long day. First, a crisp swim to clear his mind; next, figure out how to knock some sense into the stupid mutt. For now, the sooner, and farther away from he removed himself from the smell of the brothers, the better. Grogginess was the only thing preventing him from going totally ballistic on Inuyasha at the moment. Distance and time to think was what he needed most.

_Screw the monk. Dog breath needs me,_ Kouga thought with no small amount of determination.

~*~

Giggling was the first thing that drifted into the two triangular white ears above one sleepy hanyou’s head. Said ears flicked in annoyance when he felt a slight tickle against the tip of his nose. With each twitch, Inuyasha became more aware of his surroundings. From the smell of things, he was back at camp, food was on the fire, and there was a field of flowers nearby. As his body slowly melted into reality, he could feel the slow rise and fall of Sesshoumaru’s chest, warming his back.

Inuyasha smiled as he remembered the previous night’s activities. It was incredible. Their first round of love making had been beyond description. Those that followed were a passionate exploration. And, he certainly felt the fatigue from being awake after such a late night. A small smile flitted across his lips. Though there was still the tiniest, nagging seed of doubt in the back of his mind, he felt satisfied, content.

Still reluctant to open his eyes, Inuyasha buried his nose into Sesshoumaru’s pelt and rubbed against its softness. While taking a deep breath, he drank in the scent of his lover. Once he turned his head back upward, his nose was again assaulted by soft tickling and the strong scent of a flower. He cracked one eye open to spy a grinning Rin, twirling the petals of a small flower against the tip of his nose. He gave her a soft playful snarl and snapped his teeth at the flower, catching a few petals. Rin screeched through her grin and scurried off to chat excitedly with Shippou, leaving Inuyasha smirking and even happier.

The small round of impromptu play awoke the drowsy youkai lord and he couldn’t help but tighten his grip on his little brother while sniffing the scent at the back of Inuyasha’s neck.

“That tickles,” Inuyasha whispered.

Sesshoumaru decided to remedy that problem by delving his tongue through the thick white mane and trail a warm wet line up the back of Inuyasha’s neck. The delightful shiver that scurried up Inuyasha’s spine gave him no small amount of satisfaction. Inuyasha was his, belonged to him, and no one would change that.

“Better, little brother?” Sesshoumaru asked facetiously.

“Hm,” was all that Inuyasha could come up with as he was doing his best to tamp down the threat of arousal.

The close proximity of his lover’s warm body made that nearly impossible and it was everything her could do to resist drowning in images prompted by that seductive baritone voice. Inuyasha sighed and grabbed his clothing, sliding them under the blanket in order to dress without any embarrassment. It seemed that Sesshoumaru hadn’t placed them as far away from the site as they had been previously. He wondered about that. Sesshoumaru was much too intelligent to do that for no valid reason. That was some food for thought. Was Sesshoumaru openly staking his claim? Inuyasha noticed that Kouga was no where to be found. It was a relief to have a bit of a reprieve so early in the morning. He certainly didn’t look forward to dealing with Kouga’s response. They would definitely need to have a few words—but later. Food was on the fire and ready to be devoured. Throwing the covers back, Inuyasha was ready to hop up, only one thing on his mind, but was held back by long fingers gently clasped his arm, tugging him into a light press of lips.

“Food,” Inuyasha mumbled against Sesshoumaru’s lips.

With a glint in his eyes and a smirk on his face, Sesshoumaru pulled away and finished donning his clothes while Inuyasha trotted to the fire.

~*~

Tension hung thick in the air as the group journeyed across the countryside. Darkening shadows signaled that the last rays of the setting sun were blinking out behind the mountains. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha were in the lead, walking at a leisurely pace. Behind them, Sango and Miroku kept an eye on the two youngsters. From the back of the pack, they could feel Kouga’s eyes burning at the couple leading the group. It was no mystery to them that Kouga would have to be dealt with, and soon. There was no doubt that the same thing was on Inuyasha’s and Sesshoumaru’s mind. However, Sesshoumaru respected the comfort that the wolf had successfully managed while Inuyasha had been at the den. Also, driving Inuyasha away would be a repercussion of threatening the wolf. That didn’t mean he was going to put up with the wolf’s presence indefinitely. And Inuyasha knew it. In fact, Inuyasha was relieved that Sesshoumaru hadn’t attacked Kouga earlier that morning. He had fully expected an all out war. But, that didn’t mean that he could delay dealing with the matter.

“Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha sighed before looking up at his brother. “Tonight…I’ll talk to him tonight.”

Sesshoumaru merely nodded then paused. “The humans are exhausted. We should retire for the night.”

Inuyasha stared at Sesshoumaru, obviously surprised that his stoic brother would be so considerate. Then again, the Western Lord had been traveling with a young human girl for quite some time.

It didn’t take long to find a secluded area amongst a grove of very old trees. Food was prepared by the demon slayer. However, appetites seemed to shrink under Kouga’s scrutiny of the hanyou. Finally having had enough, Inuyasha stood and waved to Kouga to follow him. Kouga didn’t waste a moment trotting after him. Nothing was said as they made their way deeper into the forest.

Deep within the darkness, enhanced by the thick canopy, Inuyasha found a comfortable fallen tree on which to perch. Kouga joined him and stared at him expectantly. He was fighting the urge to rant at the hanyou and maybe beat some sense into Inuyasha.

“It’s what I want, what I need, Kouga,” Inuyasha whispered.

Those words said everything, but they weren’t enough for Kouga. Not nearly enough.

“And how long do you think it will be before he hurts you again?” Kouga growled, still fighting the war within.

Inuyasha sighed. “I don’t know, but I have to at least try.”

“No you don’t!” Kouga finally lost it. “That bastard will never be good enough for you! He will use you then throw you away the first time that you displease him.”

“You don’t know that,” Inuyasha muttered through clenched teeth. Oh, he had heard that argument many times before—right inside of his own head.

“Yes, I do! And I don’t want it to happen when I’m not around to pick up the pieces. You might not…Damn it! You know what you almost did! What if you do it again and I’m not there to catch you when you fall!?”

Inuyasha rubbed his temples. Kouga had a good point, but Inuyasha had sworn to himself that he would never again allow anyone to drag him that far down into the depths of despair. Whether or not he could keep that promise was the question. It didn’t matter though. He had made his decision and he wasn’t backing down now.

“I want him, Kouga. No matter what you say, I’m going to do this,” Inuyasha growled. He had been over these doubts too many times and he had made his decision. There was no going back.

“Fuck.” Kouga whispered before staring at Inuyasha. There would be no changing the stubborn hanyou’s mind. “I will leave you to him, but you better believe that I’ll be watching and I swear, if he hurts you again, it will be all out war. I have allies and I’ll use them,” Kouga ground out. “He will die.”

Inuyasha had to quirk a smile at Kouga’s determination to protect him. Despite all of Kouga’s faults, he was a good friend. Though, Inuyasha was a bit surprised that Kouga had given in so easily. Perhaps the wolf did want to see him happy even though it meant that Kouga would lose him.

“Keh! I can take care of myself, you wimpy wolf!” Inuyasha mock huffed as the tension between them eased.

“Yeah, right, dog breath,” Kouga sneered in jest as he turned to strut away in the cocky, strong, and arrogant fashion that was purely Kouga.

~*~

“Are you happy, Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru asked while staring at the white-haired beauty lying next to him. Even after three months, he was still concerned that his emotional defenses were too strong to give Inuyasha the affection required of him.

“Yes,” Inuyasha whispered as he watched his fingers, weaving long strands of spun silver through them.

Sliding up over Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru stared down into contented golden orbs.

“Show me,” Sesshoumaru whispered against his lover’s already kiss swollen lips.

“I thought I just did,” Inuyasha responded with uneven breathes, his mind already clouding with the desire to be taken again. _Shit, he sure seems insecure or at least high maintenance,_ Inuyasha thought.

The past three months had been nothing but Sesshoumaru yanking him aside for impromptu sessions of lovemaking, despite Inuyasha’s own regular instigations. Sesshoumaru made certain that Inuyasha had everything and anything at his disposal. It was beginning to get somewhat stifling. However, Sesshoumaru’s touch seemed to preclude any thoughts or feelings that Inuyasha might have had and he always found himself falling more than willingly into his brother’s embrace.

“Do it again,” Sesshoumaru murmured before taking Inuyasha in a searing passionate kiss while allowing his body to sink into the one he had come to need more than he could have ever have believed possible.

Inuyasha didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around Sesshoumaru’s neck and his legs around Sesshoumaru’s waist, his grip melding them together into one mass of heat, lust, desire, and fathomless love. Sparks ignited and their hearts took control of their bodies, their limbs tangling and mouths consuming each other.

Sesshoumaru moaned into Inuyasha’s mouth as he plundered the suckling wet confines. In response, he received a mewl and the arching of Inuyasha’s spine. The line of their writhing bodies slid along one another as the heat built, burning their skin and coaxing their erections to nearly painful arousal. Sliding his arm under Inuyasha’s back, Sesshoumaru drew them up to a sitting position with Inuyasha’s legs still wrapped around his waist as he sat on his shins. It was one of Sesshoumaru’s favorite positions. Just the sight of Inuyasha’s head thrown back, baring the soft white flesh of his throat, was enough to make Sesshoumaru groan and tremble with aching need. He attacked Inuyasha’s neck with lips, tongue and fangs; nibbling, suckling, and scraping down that long expanse of exposed flesh.

With his hands gripping Sesshoumaru’s shoulders, Inuyasha leaned further back, giving Sesshoumaru full access to his upper body. And Sesshoumaru never wasted the opportunity to wring moans, mewls, pleas and shudders out of Inuyasha. Devouring every bit of skin and pausing for long moments to tease Inuyasha’s nipples. Never forgetting that tugging at them with his teeth seemed to gain the best response, Sesshoumaru tortured Inuyasha until the young man cried out for mercy.

Sesshoumaru wasn’t even getting started and Inuyasha knew exactly where this was going. Releasing Sesshoumaru’s shoulders, he fell back onto the bed, his body arched in front of Sesshoumaru’s roving eyes and mouth. Inuyasha’s abdomen quivered, rising and falling erratically with each shuddering breath. Sesshoumaru slid his hand up along Inuyasha’s spine where he wrapped his large hand around the back of Inuyasha’s neck. Using the position for balance as his tongue lathed the supple flesh covering abdominal muscles that were taut with the tension of promised heights of passion.

“Ung, please, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha groaned with eyes closed as Sesshoumaru’s tongue came ever closer to the tip of his aching arousal.

Pleas fell on nearly deaf ears. Too intent on tasting the silky succulent flesh beneath him, Sesshoumaru took his time, gradually easing back while tugging Inuyasha up the sheets as he grew closer and closer to his ultimate goal. His own erection was throbbing in anticipation, but waiting for his own pleasure always had its rewards.

“Ah! Gods, Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha exclaimed when Sesshoumaru finally wrapped his long tongue around the tip of Inuyasha’s shaft, quickly moving in to suckle away the slightly salty, clear fluid dripping from the small slit.

This was one of Sesshoumaru’s favorite activities. Inuyasha nearly hyperventilated as Sesshoumaru savored what he considered the most pleasing taste that his brother had to offer. Wanting more, he lathed Inuyasha’s shaft with long, languid strokes of his warm wet tongue until it was completely slicked in his saliva. Again, he tasted that salty-flavored fluid before descending to the tightening sac below. Inuyasha never failed to allow his legs to fall back to his shoulders and to spread himself wide, offering himself up as a willing sacrifice.

Sesshoumaru pulled his arm back and gripped Inuyasha’s left thigh then gazed down into unseeing eyes that were barely open. With all but Inuyasha’s upper back and head off of the bed, blood had pooled to the point that Inuyasha’s cheeks and the exposed inner flaps of his fluffy white ears were burned crimson. From that same blood and the pressure of many kisses, his lips were red and swollen. Fangs peeked out through his slightly parted lips. Through the protruding vein in Inuyasha’s neck, Sesshoumaru could see the pounding pulse of Inuyasha’s racing heart. Sesshoumaru would never see a sight as incredibly erotic as Inuyasha completely lost in his touch. The abandon that his brother so freely displayed never ceased to amaze him.

And now…to make Inuyasha throw his head back and scream.

Sesshoumaru’s eyelids lowered in expectation as his tongue snaked out, gently coming to rest on the seam between the ring leading to the core of Inuyasha’s body and the firm bulge of his testicles.

“ Aaaaah…Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha cried out as that warm tongue traveled up and around his balls. “Please, please,” he panted as oxygen seemed to elude his lungs.

But Sesshoumaru didn’t relent, his tongue continuing to sweep the area, always traveling farther on the downward swoop until he was lubricating and preparing the tight entrance to Inuyasha’s body. As he poked and prodded at the writhing hanyou, he lifted his hand and brushed Inuyasha’s lips with two fingers. Inuyasha sucked Sesshoumaru’s fingers into his mouth, running his tongue around each digit until they were well coated with what little saliva remained. The sensation brought Sesshoumaru’s attention back to his own throbbing need and his body gave a long shiver when he withdrew them from Inuyasha’s mouth.

If it were possible, Inuyasha’s back arched even further when one long clawed finger gently slid into his body. He was burning alive, so hot that even Sesshoumaru’s tongue, gliding up his shaft, felt cool. A second finger joined the first as Sesshoumaru slick hot mouth swallowed his cock to the hilt. As streaks of fire created a whirling inferno throughout his body, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. When Sesshoumaru sucked upward along his erection, his skin felt as though it would peel away from the flames scorching his skin.

“Sesshoumaru!” Inuyasha cried out as his vision began to darken while his body flailed about, bucking beneath Sesshoumaru’s sweet torture.

By the time Sesshoumaru released him, Inuyasha was well on his way to unconsciousness. Sesshoumaru pulled at Inuyasha’s hips until the lower half of Inuyasha’s body was once again in his lap. Even in his unseeing state, the world seem to spin when Sesshoumaru pulled him back up and drew him into a tight embrace and lock his mouth into a searing kiss. It took a few long moments for Inuyasha to comprehend that he was plastered to Sesshoumaru’s chest. As Inuyasha’s frantic breathing slowed, Sesshoumaru began rotating his hips, the clear salty liquid seeping from both of their erections providing lubrication so that they easily ground against each other.

“Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru whispered against the downy white ear. “Inuyasha.” Sesshoumaru whispered the litany while he cupped Inuyasha’s ass and lifted.

Inuyasha gasped and moaned, tightening his grip around Sesshoumaru’s shoulders as Sesshoumaru’s burning erection glided into position. His entire body quivered as he was gently and gradually stretched by the invasion. A barely audible groan filtered into his sensitive ear right before it was enveloped in Sesshoumaru’s hot wet mouth. Heat rushed from the ear and boiled his blood while his body ignored the discomfort of its full impalement on Sesshoumaru’s stiff shaft.

“Sess…ah…” Inuyasha trailed off, writhing under Sesshoumaru’s suckling.

A low growl thrummed against the thin flap of his ear as Sesshoumaru withdrew his thick arousal then gave a mighty thrust upward, burying himself as deeply into his lover as he possibly could. Holding tightly onto Inuyasha, he stilled, enjoying the tight moist warmth inside of Inuyasha’s body. There was no other sensation that he would rather have at this moment. Inuyasha’s quivering body and heaving pants bathed him on the outside, while he was firmly gripped in sweltering heat inside of Inuyasha.

In his attempts to force Sesshoumaru into motion, Inuyasha mewled a complaint and began wriggling. It wasn’t in vain. Soon he was drowning, being filled over and over again, Sesshoumaru’s thrusts slow and measured, driving him insane.

“Faster, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha impatiently rasped against the crook of Sesshoumaru’s neck.

Without a word, Sesshoumaru acquiesced, gradually building strength and speed until Inuyasha was forced to hold on with an iron grip or be shoved out of Sesshoumaru’s lap. He was a bit disappointed when Sesshoumaru’s arm left his back, but that only lasted for the moment it took for Sesshoumaru’s hand to grip his neglected cock. Inuyasha threw his head back and cried out as he thrust up into that tight fist.

“Come for me, little brother,” Sesshoumaru whispered against the expanse of Inuyasha’s throat. “Come for me.”

That was all it took. In a sudden explosion of heat and blinding light, Inuyasha’s tensed muscles painfully jolted. While his body quaked with convulsions, in every way tightening his hold on Sesshoumaru, his claws dug into Sesshoumaru’s shoulders drawing blood and a howl from his lover. Both collapsed to the bed as Sesshoumaru sank into him, coating his inner confines with the heat of passionate release. Again and again, their bodies shuddered with the waves of fire and ice scalding their flesh. Inuyasha’s seed streamed between them, small rivulets escaping to run down his sides.

A tangled mass of sweating limbs slowly separated and Sesshoumaru slipped from Inuyasha, only to wrap his arm around the barely conscious boy, tugging him close into the curve of his torso.

It had only been the third session in as many hours and Inuyasha was just plain exhausted. Fortunately, Sesshoumaru hadn’t expected a lot out of him this time. And Sesshoumaru wasn’t going to get much more until Inuyasha was allowed some sleep…and food. Can’t forget the food. Then it would be payback time. Tonight, Sesshoumaru was going to get the ride of his life. Yeah, tonight.

“I love you,” Sesshoumaru barely whispered against Inuyasha’s ear, no longer any traces of hesitation evident in the soft baritone voice so well known for its frigidity.

“Hm, you too,” Inuyasha murmured, flicking the tickled ear before drifting off in the arm of his older brother, his lover, his new home.

~*~

Watching the string that hung down into the cup of sugar water, Shippou stared as though he could make the sugar crystals grow faster just by scowling at it.

“How long will it take, Shippou?” Rin asked impatiently.

Shippou sighed. “A long time. Maybe a whole day.”

“That’s a long time,” Rin said, nodding her head.

“Yeah, but when it’s done, it’s really good.”

“How did you learn to make it?” Rin asked. She had rarely seen anything so fascinating as watching crystals grow.

“Ah, Kagome taught me. It’s something that they do in her time…I miss her,” Shippou sighed.

“It’ll be okay. You’ve got me now,” Rin smiled, attempting to brighten Shippou’s mood.

Unfortunately, she was met with a sniffing scowl.

“We’ve got trouble, Rin.”

“What?”

“Kouga,” Shippou growled.

~*~*~*~*~*~

_**Disclaimer** _

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not own Inuyasha and make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru android to use and abuse at will._


	16. One Last Obstacle

~*~

**Chapter 16**

_**One Last Obstacle** _

“You try to keep Sesshoumaru from killing Kouga and I’ll get Inuyasha!” Shippou exclaimed as he streaked off in a blur of copper fluff.

“Right!”

As she made her way to the main gate, Rin ran as fast as her little legs could carry her, dodging trees and skidding on grass. Surely, Sesshoumaru would not kill Kouga if she were standing right there!? Inuyasha would get so mad that he would certainly take Shippou and leave. They couldn’t let this get out of control!

As she rounded the last tree, she skidded on the soft grass and landed right on her bottom at the entry way, looking up into amused cerulean blue eyes.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite little girl,” Kouga said with a grin.

Rin gave her brightest smile. “Hi, Kouga! Are you here to see Lord Inuyasha? Are you going to visit long? Lord Sesshoumaru is all better. Did you come to see him?”

Rin ran her mouth a mile a minute, trying to keep Kouga distracted, and hoping that Inuyasha showed up soon to get rid of the interfering wolf. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Kouga, but he could destroy the little family that she and Shippou had been trying so hard to construct and hold together. This just wasn’t good at all. As long as she kept talking and smiling, maybe everything would be okay.

She could only hope.

Thank goodness, Inuyasha was the first to show up, Shippou trailing right behind him. Shippou gave Rin a wary gaze. Both watched intently to see how the greeting would go and weren’t sure what to think once things were started.

“Oi, dog crap! How’s his highness?” Kouga smirked. “He treatin’ you good?”

Inuyasha gave a small smile. It was good to see his friend, but there was so much potential for disruption and disarray with his relationship with Sesshoumaru. Unfortunately, his mate was the jealous type and he wasn’t sure that anything good could come from this visit.

“What wind blew you here, you wimpy wolf,” Inuyasha huffed in mock distaste.

“First, I warned you that I’d be checking up on you. Second, Sango and Miroku are anxious for you to visit. They're expecting and you know how dangerous birthing can be. They want to see you while things are still good,” Kouga smiled, not sure why Inuyasha didn’t seem happier to see him. He had given Inuyasha his word that he wouldn’t try to interfere as long as Sesshoumaru wasn’t mistreating him.

“Is everything all right?” Kouga asked with some concern.

“Everything’s just fine!” Shippou interrupted with his arms folded up over his chest in a perfect imitation of Inuyasha in defiance mode.

“Shut up, runt,” Inuyasha grumbled before bopping the tiny intruder over the head.

Inuyasha sighed and gave Kouga another small smile. “Everything is fine. Come on in and get something to drink. You need a bath, too,” Inuyasha said with a mischievous smirk as he turned and started walking toward the palace.

“Are you implying that I stink!?” Kouga exclaimed in mock disbelief.

“Keh! Well, you know, bath never does really get the stench off of you,” Inuyasha said, glancing over his shoulder.

“I resent that, dog breath!” Kouga growled, but smirked, happy that Inuyasha seemed to be doing all right.

Rin and Shippou followed close behind, intent on chaperoning the untrustworthy wolf and Inuyasha. There could be no misunderstandings between any of the grownups. They tended to screw things up all the time. And, both children had been overcome with a sense of doom as soon as they had spied Kouga.

As Inuyasha reached to open the door, it opened for him. He wasn’t sure whether to smile or cringe when he saw Sesshoumaru standing there, glaring at Kouga. So, he settled with his familiar gruff routine, but before he could even get started, Rin intervened.

Rin knew that she held more sway over Sesshoumaru than anyone, Inuyasha included, when it came to her father.

“Look, Lord Sesshoumaru! Kouga came back to see if you’re all right! Remember, he helped Lord Inuyasha take care of you when you were so bad sick!?” she said with the most brilliant smile she could muster.

Immediately, some of the heat in Sesshoumaru’s glare seemed to dissipate. At least, he took his hand off of the hilt of Tokijin. Before Sesshoumaru could even ask Kouga what the hell the bastard was doing in his home, Rin had grabbed the wolf’s hand and began dragging him past Sesshoumaru. His eyes narrowed as he watched the girl exhibiting such odd behavior. She didn’t usually do anything without his permission and she had just taken complete control of the situation. She had been spending much too much time with Inuyasha. Positively. That had to be the reason behind her behavior.

“That was weird,” Inuyasha commented.

“Indeed,” Sesshoumaru agreed.

Though there was suspicion in Sesshoumaru’s voice, there was still a small hint of anger, but only a little. Inuyasha relaxed and glanced up to see Sesshoumaru regarding him with unreadable eyes. In the entire three months that he and Inuyasha had been together, Sesshoumaru had never leveled that gaze at him.

Great. Just great.

Inuyasha took in a deep breath and did the only thing that his frantic mind could muster. He turned full on Sesshoumaru and planted a ferocious kiss on the great lord’s lips. Relief flooded him as Sesshoumaru wrapped an arm around him and returned the kiss with just as much fervor.

“I love you, Sesshoumaru. Only you. Never forget that,” Inuyasha said, gazing up at Sesshoumaru with such intensity that it took away the breath of the stoic youkai.

Sesshoumaru simply nodded.

“Say it,” Inuyasha whispered. “Just say it.”

A small lilt at the corner of Sesshoumaru’s lips and a sparkle in his eye indicated a smile before he responded.

“I love you too, brat.”

That was much more than Inuyasha had expected. Sesshoumaru seemed to be stuck on that one phrase, so he always used it to his advantage. This was just working too well. He looked up at Sesshoumaru with curious eyes and unexpectedly met with that flat stare.

‘ _He still doesn’t trust me. What the hell am I supposed to do? Worship at his feet!?’_

Inuyasha turned away as his eyebrows lowered in a scowl. This was not going as well as he thought it would only moments ago. This was not going to work. He just knew it. But, there was nothing else he could do. Kouga had saved his life and he wasn’t about to shove the wolf out on his ass. He just wasn’t that kind of person. There was no way that he was going to become someone that he wasn’t just to appease a stuck up bastard, even if he did love said bastard, who had a stick up his ass the size of the Tree of Ages, one who held jealousy the size of a volcano, one who was just too fucking insecure.

Well, too bad. It wasn’t Inuyasha’s problem and he wasn’t going to make it his.

‘ _Fuck Sesshoumaru,’_ he scowled to himself and turned to go.

He didn’t even bother to notice whether or not Sesshoumaru followed while he sniffed out Kouga’s location. Sesshoumaru was someone else’s problem right now. He had more important things to do, like plan a trip to see Sango and Miroku. He did miss them and was certain that Shippou did as well. And with a new baby on the way, he had to go see them. Mortals were weak and anything major, including pregnancy, was just asking for trouble. There was no way that he would turn down this request. Besides, he had Kagome’s voice ringing in his head. She would have made him go, too. Why? Because it was the right thing to do. They were his friends, his second family, and being humans, they wouldn’t live all that long. Not that Sesshoumaru would care, but this wasn’t Sesshoumaru’s life. It was his.

Inuyasha sighed and fondled the gold stud in his ear. _‘Why am I being so defensive? He won’t mind if I go. Will he?’_

As Inuyasha entered the kitchen to see Kouga downing a cup of water, the children's chatter rang loud around the room. They had already served up a bowl of soup. Inuyasha had a sneaking suspicion that they were trying to get Kouga back out the door and on his way as soon as possible. But kids their age weren’t that smart, right?

Riiiiight.

Inuyasha entered, grabbed himself a cup of water and plopped down next to Kouga. “So, how are you doing, Kouga?”

“Pretty good actually. Some females have come down from the Northern mountains to help us repopulate the pack. I must say, they are a fertile lot!” Kouga chuckled.

“You find yourself one?” Inuyasha asked, poking him in the ribs.

“Nah, I’m still waitin’ around for you,” Kouga sighed, giving Inuyasha his best imitation of dreamy eyes.

It was all a joke of course; at least that’s how Inuyasha saw it. However, that was not how it was taken by the Daiyoukai standing in the doorway.

“This is my home. State your business then leave my lands…now,” boomed Sesshoumaru’s commanding voice.

All eyes turned to Sesshoumaru; dread in the children’s, arrogance in Kouga’s, and anger in Inuyasha’s.

“I thought that this was my home, too,” Inuyasha said in a low threatening tone, one that questioned Sesshoumaru’s devotion to him.

Sesshoumaru slowly slid that frigid gaze from Kouga to Inuyasha. The tension in the room couldn’t have been cut by Tetsusaiga.

“It is,” Sesshoumaru said without any inflection whatsoever then spun around and gracefully exited the room.

Inuyasha watched Sesshoumaru leave and was puzzled. Nothing would be happening between him and Kouga. His friend had simply brought important news and it would have been rude not to offer sustenance and perhaps a place to rest for awhile. Anything less would be an insult, not only to Kouga, but to their house in general. Besides, Kouga played a significant role in Sesshoumaru’s healing process. Even though Kouga had fucked up pretty bad by not informing Inuyasha that Sesshoumaru was still sick, he had done more than enough to make up for it. He had saved Inuyasha’s life, literally, and then helped to save Sesshoumaru’s. Sure, Sesshoumaru was jealous, but that was really no excuse for his behavior.

With a sigh, Inuyasha shook his head and rejoined the ongoing chatter. He didn’t fail to notice the worry in Kouga’s eyes before Kouga went back to entertaining the two little ones.

~*~

Sesshoumaru strolled down the hall while trying his utmost to contain his anger. _‘Doesn’t Inuyasha understand? Can he be so dense or so completely ignorant?’_

Well, Inuyasha _had_ grown up with humans. He was more human than youkai. That could be detrimental to sustaining a steady relationship. Humans might be greedy in wanting everything their eyes could see, and arrogant as well, but when faced with greater odds, they would run and leave everything behind. However, youkai had always been very possessive of what they owned, possessive to a fault. Humans did not compare. And that was only one area in which Inuyasha failed, at least toward him. Couldn't the boy show any possessiveness at all? Didn't he care about his newly acquired Daiyoukai?

Inuyasha was a half-breed. He could never comprehend the sensitivity of a dog youkai’s nose. Smell grabs memories more than any other sense; more than sight, taste, touch, or hearing. Inuyasha’s sense of smell did not allow him to be bombarded with all of the memories; so fresh, so real, and so heartbreaking. That day at the spring, the scent of sex, of Kouga and Inuyasha, lingered in a gaping wound in Sesshoumaru’s chest. That pain still ran deep and wide. That scent, that horrible, horrible scent that was Kouga, killed Sesshoumaru each time he had to endure it. And Inuyasha hadn’t a clue. Another failing of a half-breed.

Sesshoumaru sighed. _‘Will we ever overcome these differences? Is there a solution?’_

Well, there was a very easy solution when it came to the handicapped half-breeds of the world; kill them. Sesshoumaru had done that and it had been wrong. He loved Inuyasha and he simply didn’t have the heart for it. Inuyasha might be a half-breed, but he had many other strengths. He had been able to forgive Sesshoumaru for so many transgressions. Not only that, but he actually continued to love Sesshoumaru.

Inuyasha.

Despite the tragedies of his life, that face was still so beautiful and innocent. Even after everything he had been through growing up, Inuyasha was fresh, and could still be happy and was brave enough to show it. There was no fear of showing emotion, at least not toward Sesshoumaru. For Sesshoumaru, he was the scent of the air after a cleansing spring rain, the green scent of broken leaves. Home. That's what Inuyasha smelled like. Believing that he was the one that put a smile on Inuyasha’s face gave him no small amount of satisfaction. After all of his transgressions against Inuyasha, making the half-breed smile gave Sesshoumaru a sense of pride, and the hope that he was somehow repaying Inuyasha for all those warring years.

‘ _What will I do with you, Inuyasha?’_

Inuyasha was his everything and that damn wolf incited Sesshoumaru’s instinct to kill the trespasser. The last three months had been such a release from the prison of his centuries of solitude, and now, Kouga was walling him in, restricting his freedom with Inuyasha, conflicting with those emotions that he had finally felt safe enough to allow to the surface. This new intrusion had to be stopped. He would not be tethered to pain and loneliness. He had protected himself for far too long to have this new life crumble.

Without thought, Sesshoumaru had found his way to his personal chambers and seated himself in his bedroom chair. While staring out over the balcony, he attempted to get his emotions under control. He knew that containing them would be nearly impossible until the problem was resolved. However, it was almost impossible to think when his instincts were screaming at him to rip the wolf to shreds. It was an almost audible ringing in his ears, singing through his veins, curling in his stomach. It took everything he had to restrain himself.

Sesshoumaru was so deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed the sound of little bare feet, padding across the floor in his direction. It wasn’t until Rin had sat down on the floor beside his legs and rested her head against his knee that he became aware of her presence. That reminded him. She had been acting odd.

“Rin…” He was astonished when he found his words cut off.

“Are you mad at Lord Inuyasha?” the little girl asked, looking up at him with sadness in her big brown eyes.

Her question was innocent enough and he was not in the mood to form a meaningless answer. He also wasn't in the mood for small talk.

“I don’t know, Rin,” he sighed. “Go play with Shippou.”

When she made no move to stand, he continued. “…for me.”

Rin gave him a small smile, not near as bright as he was accustomed to seeing. However, she obeyed, leaving with much less than her usual enthusiasm.

‘ _Does Inuyasha mean so much to her?’_

What he had never considered was that her devotion to him was always at the forefront of her mind; anything to make him happy. In her heart, her happiness was only secondary. His happiness came first, and Inuyasha made him happy.

~*~

Kouga stood up and stretched, taking a deep breath.

“Well, you gonna go see Sango?” he asked Inuyasha while admiring the vision before him.

Kouga couldn’t help but see his friend as irresistible. It didn’t matter that Inuyasha was with Sesshoumaru. It was everything he could do to refrain from backing Inuyasha up into a wall and ravishing him from head to toe. Kouga shivered at the mental imagery. He needed to leave before he got himself into trouble.

Inuyasha didn’t miss the lust in Kouga’s eyes. It was plain as day and written all over the wolf’s face as though someone had picked up a quill and scribbled all over that bronze skin. It gave Inuyasha a warm feeling in his chest. In a way, he did love Kouga. Not as a lover, only as a friend. Kouga meant a lot to him, but he was not _‘in love’_ with his friend. It was too bad. The wolf was handsome. There would be some female, or male, out there that would eventually catch Kouga’s eye. Inuyasha just wasn’t that person. He was very happy with Sesshoumaru.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Inuyasha finally responded, “Yeah, as soon as possible. Where are you off to now?”

Inuyasha wasn’t quite sure that he wanted to be traveling with a horny wolf and hoped Kouga would be traveling in a different direction.

“I was just coming to check up on you and thought I’d make a loop so that I could bring you news of Sango and Miroku. So, I’ll be heading back home. Worried that the big bad wolf is going to eat you?” Kouga said with a grin.

“Shut the fuck up,” Inuyasha snorted. “I ain’t afraid of nothin’.”

“Could’ve fooled me. Look, I’m outta here. I figure that my two guys are about to catch up. They’ll never learn to speed up if I don’t keep leaving their asses in the dust.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Inuyasha smiled as he turned away and headed for the door. Kouga was almost always amusing.

Outside the gate, Inuyasha stopped. It was nice to see Kouga and it would have been enjoyable if they had time to spend together. But, that would be tempting the wolf and he needed to see Sesshoumaru and smooth things over.

Kouga rocked back and forth on his feet—devious little whispers floating through his head—and truly wishing to stay. “Well, mutt…are you happy here? I mean, he’s not mistreating you, is he?”

Inuyasha shook his head. “I’ve never been happier, Kouga. It’s really going great.”

“What was that in there then?” Kouga asked, jabbing his thumb back toward the palace.

“You should know that he’s jealous,” Inuyasha said with a smirk and cocked his brow.

Kouga chuckled. “He should be. I’m the ‘stiffest’ competition he’ll ever have.” Without waiting for a response, Kouga stepped forward and grabbed Inuyasha into a strong embrace just before planting a big sloppy kiss on Inuyasha’s lips.

“Haha! See ya later, flea bag!” Kouga laughed.

With that, Kouga disappeared in a whirlwind. Inuyasha just shook his head while smiling at the antics of his friend. Now, if Kouga had tried for more, Inuyasha would have had to knock the shit out of him. As it was, he just found it amusing.

Inuyasha turned and ran right into a sneaky little kitsune. “Oi, runt! What are you doin’ here?”

“Do we get to go see Sango, Miroku, and Kilala!?” Shippou asked, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.

“Yeah. I’m feeling kinda cooped up anyway,” Inuyasha replied and patted Shippou on the head.

Too accustomed to making his own decisions, it never occurred to the stupid half-breed that in a partnership, decisions were made together. Sometimes, he just wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and sometimes, there weren’t any tools at all.

“I’m gonna go pack my stuff!” Shippou exclaimed as he ran ahead of Inuyasha.

‘ _I hope that Sesshoumaru has cooled off,’_ Inuyasha worried.

The closer he came to Sesshoumaru’s chambers, actually his now also, his trepidation increased. He could only hope that Sesshoumaru would be reasonable. What he didn’t realize was that Kouga’s scent lay heavily on him, and scent would be howling over his words.

Not good. Not good at all.

As soon as he opened the door, he heard a snarl. Sesshoumaru was facing him from across the room, eyes red and nostrils flared. Maybe, right now, a visit to his friends wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

“Um…Sesshoumaru?” Inuyasha started off quietly, hoping not to enrage the youkai further. “Me and Shippou are gonna go and visit Sango and Miroku.”

“Do not return,” Sesshoumaru snarled as the scent of wolf permeated his nostrils.

“What the fuck!?” Inuyasha exclaimed as he marched into the room. “What is wrong with you!?”

Sesshoumaru’s hair began to whirl around him in a fury that was all his own. Curling back his lips, he bared his teeth at Inuyasha and growled.

“Get…away…from me,” Sesshoumaru growled in a hiss, teeth clenched and his voice so low that it sounded like he was gargling pebbles. His knuckles cracked while the stripes on his face darkened.

“Well, you know what? Fuck you. Just fuck you, Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha yelled before rushing out of the room, confused beyond belief, but most of all, angry and hurt.

Once in the hallway, Inuyasha took a few deep breaths. _‘What the hell just happened? What…’_

Inuyasha shook his head to clear out all of the confusing questions. _‘This is bullshit. Time to get out of here. I need to be anywhere but here. Damn! Bastard!’_

Oh, he could have a very satisfying knock down drag out with Sesshoumaru, but it wouldn’t solve anything. In fact, it could only get worse. That was a very valuable lesson that he had learned with the many ‘sit’ commands plummeting his face into the dirt. When Kagome was angry, there was no talking any sense into her. And Sesshoumaru was in just that frame of mind. And, who was Sesshoumaru to tell him what he could and couldn’t do? He would have to teach Sesshoumaru where the line was drawn. If Sesshoumaru wanted it the hard way, he would get it.

Rin’s heart was breaking as she peeked around the corner. She had heard it all. This wasn’t something that she and Shippou could fix. Everything was ruined and she just couldn’t understand why. There was no question about it. Grown ups were just plain stupid. Kouga didn’t do anything wrong, as far as she knew. So, in her mind, it was all Sesshoumaru’s fault. She had lost the family that she had received a taste of, only to have it ripped away. For the first time, Sesshoumaru wasn’t perfect and that upset her more than anything.

Sesshoumaru strode out onto the balcony, attempting to get his rage under control. He had to get away from that scent. Taking flight, he streaked across the tree tops, cleansing himself as the wind dulled the edges of his anger. He didn’t stop, didn’t even consider going back, until he had plunged into a cold river in order to erase the scent of Kouga from his nostrils, shedding his displeasure in the process. It had been nearly choking him. After dragging himself to the grass, he tossed his armor and clothing to ground and flopped back on the grass, wiping his mind clean.

“Inuyasha…” he whispered, not knowing what to think or what to do. So, he lay there, gazing at the sky.

Thoughts fled and all he could see was that face, so young in sleep, almost a child, so open and passionate when they made love, so amusing when being sarcastic, so…affectionate. Sesshoumaru’s heart ached, but what was he supposed to do? That wolf, that damned wolf! Claws raked furrows into the ground and Sesshoumaru had to take a deep breath to soothe his youkai.

This would not do, not at all. He was the Lord of the Western Lands. Lack of control over his own mind was completely and utterly unacceptable, Inuyasha not withstanding.

~*~

The quill in Inuyasha’s hand slowly and accurately formed the words. He would leave the note outside of the bedroom door. Hopefully, Sesshoumaru had not meant the words spoken in the heat of anger. Regardless, it was Sesshoumaru’s anger, not his. And he wouldn’t be ruled by it. He wasn’t about to take the path that he had slid down before, and he certainly wasn’t going to become a parroting puppet. No, this time, he would keep his shit together. He looked forward to being in the forest again, outside of the confining walls of any dwelling. The forest was where he belonged anyway. It would be refreshing.

After dropping the note outside of the bedroom, Inuyasha sought out Shippou, whom he found outside, whispering with Rin.

“Hey, runt! Hurry up or you’ll be left behind,” Inuyasha groused.

Shippou immediately jumped up onto Inuyasha’s shoulder, knowing that Inuyasha was not going to be traveling slowly enough for his small legs to keep up.

“How long do you think it’ll take to get there, Inuyasha?” Shippou asked just to ease the atmosphere.

“Don’t even get started on that. We haven't even left yet,” Inuyasha grumbled with a scowl.

“Fine,” Shippou huffed and crossed his arms.

Soon they were sailing over the tops of trees, Inuyasha occasionally pushing off of the upper branches in order to keep them aloft. It was exhilarating. Inuyasha hadn’t been on a journey in quite some time and couldn’t remember when he had last felt so confined. Not that he minded his time with Sesshoumaru, but there were other parts of his being that needed to be satisfied. This was one of them.

Come sundown, he and Shippou had a nice little fire going and a couple of rabbits roasting.

“Um, Inuyasha?” Shippou asked with some hesitation. This was not going to be pleasant.

“Yeah, runt?” Inuyasha didn’t bother looking up from the fire, seeming to be in deep thought.

“Um, when will we be going back to Rin and Sesshoumaru?” Shippou asked hesitantly. He didn't want to rile Inuyasha, but he and Rin were exceptionally worried that their little family had come to an end.

Inuyasha’s eyes snapped up then narrowed. So much for relaxing and letting his brain take a holiday. “We haven’t even gotten to Sango and Miroku’s yet and you’re already asking that!?”

“Yes! You don’t plan on going back do you!?” Shippou wailed.

“Shut. Up.”

“No!”

Wrong thing to say. Inuyasha stretched his arm out and bopped Shippou on the head. Rather than cry, as he had when Kagome had been with them, Shippou simply glared at Inuyasha. The dog was not going to answer his question. A thought occurred to Shippou. Maybe Inuyasha didn’t know. That was definitely better than a flat refusal to go back. A slim chance, but not impossible, that his hopes weren’t for nothing.

While Shippou had his own hopes, so did Inuyasha. He didn’t want to think about never waking up to the warmth of Sesshoumaru’s powerful body, didn’t want to think about never having those soft, satin lips teasing his, and certainly didn’t want to think about that large hand exploring his flesh. Inuyasha could feel his skin flushing from the memories. This time, Sesshoumaru would have to come to him, Inuyasha resolved.

‘ _He broke my heart last time. Let’s just see how much I break his,_ ’ the stubborn half-breed thought with a barely there smile. _‘He is going to come down off that high horse of his. I won’t be some simpering idiot that does whatever he wants. Asshole…’_

~*~

Sesshoumaru once again sat at his bedroom window. Scent told him when it had been Inuyasha standing outside of his door some time ago, but he had made no move to go to his mate.

In the hours that he had sat in contemplation, he had realized a most important fact. He could not, and would not, live without Inuyasha. Somehow, they would work this out. It was his fault that Inuyasha hadn't understood his rage. Inuyasha couldn’t have known that he was aware of what had transpired with Kouga; that memory that shot through his chest like a knife. The wolf was full-blooded and should have known that his scent would be left all over Inuyasha. The question was, had the wolf intentionally sought to create a problem? Now that it had occurred to him, he decided that it was a distinct possibility. What was the wolf planning?

Inuyasha’s last presence outside his door had been hours ago. Now, there was a new scent outside his door, Rin. She lingered for a couple of minutes. Before she knocked, he had smelled the scent of her tears; otherwise he would not have allowed her entry.

“Enter.”

A parchment was clutched to her chest as she made her way to him.

“It’s all your fault,” she whispered. “Inuyasha is gone and so is Shippou. I thought…I thought that you…that you were perfect. But Shippou is gone. We don’t have a…a family anymore,” she choked out.

“Rin?” Sesshoumaru asked in shocked surprise. What had come over the girl? In her eyes, he could do no wrong. What had happened to his innocent child? Could Inuyasha and the kit mean so much to her?

“It’s all your fault.” This time there was a tinge of anger in her voice.

‘ _Of course, she lost one family and now she believes that she is losing another. How could I have been so blind? It is no longer two adults involved, but two children as well. Her brother, her family, had been killed before her very eyes, and now she is losing another. I could kill any threat to her, but now, I have taken away the only family she knows. I am her nightmare.’_

Sesshoumaru studied her as she held out the parchment.

_Sesshoumaru,_

_I love you._

_Inuyasha_

Short, simple and to the point.

Sesshoumaru could hear Inuyasha’s voice in the line that was intentionally absent.

“ _Just say it.”_

“Rin,” Sesshoumaru said softly as he tilted up her chin with his index finger. “I will bring them back. Do you trust me?”

Rin sniffled before nodding. That pleased him. At least he hadn't lost her trust. Sesshoumaru rose from his seat.

“Jakken,” his baritone voice boomed. Not five seconds later, his devoted retainer appeared at his feet.

“Take care of Rin,” he commanded.

“But, but…” Jakken began to stutter.

“If one hair on her head is harmed while I am absent, be certain that you will die a slow and painful death.”

“Yes, milord!” Jakken squawked as he groveled on the floor.

“Rin, behave yourself,” Sesshoumaru softly instructed the girl.

She was standing with her hands clasped in front of her, a cautious smile beginning to play across her cherub features. Sesshoumaru barely restrained a smile as he strolled out of the room. Jakken could be quite amusing and, well, Rin’s happiness was now just as important as keeping her from harm. He would be her hero again. That thought nearly made him stumble, but he couldn't deny the truth of it. He had been Rin's hero for so long that he'd taken her for granted. He needed to actually _earn_ her trust again.

He had to find Inuyasha and set this right.

~*~

A couple of miles away from Inuyasha, Kouga stood atop a hill, watching his friend’s progress.

“ _Hell if I’m going to leave my mutt to that bastard of a dog. Inuyasha just doesn’t get it. Sesshoumaru is too old to change his ways. He will just break Inuyasha’s heart again. I WILL not let that happen. Stupid puppy.”_

Kouga took off at a moderate pace, keeping ahead some distance in order to prevent alerting Inuyasha. Inuyasha would get suspicious were he to show up too soon. Dusk came quickly and Kouga would soon have his opportunity. The two travelers would make camp and Kouga could stroll right up to them without there being any suspicions whatsoever.

“This is going to be way too easy,” Kouga congratulated himself.

What seemed to be a pat on his back unexpectedly turned into a mighty shove and Kouga went flying forward, tumbling and rolling until he came to lie on his back while attempting to catch his breath.

A shadow approached; a very, very long shadow.

“This ends now.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

_**Disclaimer** _

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not own Inuyasha and make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru android to use and abuse at will._

]

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. The brother-in-law that I was helping provide hospice care for died mid-May and I have been staying with my sister because she didn't want to be alone. But, I'm home tonight and have managed to get this chapter edited. Hopefully, my updates will pick up pace now. 
> 
> I had been editing out the quotation marks around thought sentences, but it is just too time consuming, so I'm going to start leaving them in. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and for past reviews!


	17. "Would You Die for Him?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I've been ill.

~*~

**Chapter 17**

“ _ **Would You Die for Him?”**_

The crisp, early evening air brushed away from Sesshoumaru’s face the silky, silver strands of his ankle length, flowing mane. He tipped his nose into the breeze and closed his smoky, amber eyes. The scent of ice was already in the air. Winter would soon be upon them.

The intensity of color in the birthmarks tattooing his face had diminished and calm had finally taken control, much to his relief. Now he could think rationally and determine his best course of action. Leaving the gates at a casual stroll, Sesshoumaru gave himself time to consider Inuyasha’s frame of mind, how he should approach his brother, and what needed to be said in order to regain Inuyasha’s trust. 

How much trust that had originally been there was yet to be realized. Perhaps he had taken the depth of Inuyasha’s trust for granted because the young man had nursed him to health…twice, and that while enduring threats upon his life. Inuyasha had had no reason to trust him on any level. The fact that he had not simply left and resumed his previous existence was somewhat of a mystery. 

There was the fact that Inuyasha had never really hated him. Also, Inuyasha had not been able to hide the fact that he wanted to be with Sesshoumaru, as brothers, at the very least. This train of thought led to another question. How could they have been brought closer, more intimate than brothers? The poison could be partially blamed for seeping past his defenses and forcing him to admit that his own jealousy and grief had been the leading factor in his rejection of Inuyasha. 

The only thing that could have been held against his brother was the stunting of youkai power through his human heritage. Even in that, Inuyasha had proven himself worthy of life. There was no reason to begrudge Inuyasha what he had so rightfully earned. He had survived, alone, in a hostile, unforgiving world of prejudice against half-breeds. Inuyasha’s continued existence was a miracle in and of itself. 

That barrier to his acceptance of Inuyasha had been melted away by Naraku’s insidious poison, albeit, without his permission. That had angered him and he had blamed his newly found fondness of Inuyasha, his seemingly new attraction, as a loss of necessary control. That was where he had made his first mistake. He thought to regain his control by killing Inuyasha. Once again, in his ineptitude at dealing with emotions, he had targeted Inuyasha.

Still, what was the true origin of his attraction to Inuyasha and how was it that they had become so much closer? Oh yes, those damnable memories that had been drawn to the fore while he had been barely conscious; that fluff of white beneath him tilting until all he could see where brilliant golden eyes framed in a thick curtain of lashes, gleaming with a bit of mischief, pouting lips tempting him to engage in mock warfare. Yes, he recalled considering the potential of their relationship had things not gone so awry. He had even considered the finer points of Inuyasha’s features, though later on, it hadn’t occurred to him that he had been thinking on such things. Yes, Inuyasha had always been physically attractive, but that wasn’t what had brought them so close.

Sesshoumaru examined the past several months. What had happened? Where had everything changed? Was there one particular instance of such significance that had caused him to think of Inuyasha as his? Hm. He had always considered Inuyasha his to kill. No one was allowed to touch the half-breed. 

Sesshoumaru’s mind hesitated for a moment. 

That last thought did not fit into how he perceived his previous relationship with Inuyasha. No one was allowed to kill his brother. It had nothing to do with touching as far as he had been concerned. 

Sesshoumaru sighed. He seemed to be getting nowhere. All it would take was the correct question. His brow furrowed as he studied the landscape and pilfered through past experiences.

How long had he harbored this possessiveness?

That dream! When did he have that dream in which Kouga had stolen the child from his home? It had made him realize something. The entire time that Inuyasha had spent in his home, caring for him, there seemed to have been something in the atmosphere that he had not even known had been missing. That missing piece had come home. Not even Rin had filled the halls with her presence as much Inuyasha had with his own. Yes, she brought warmth, but not the fulfillment that was needed. There had still been an emptiness to the halls and rooms.

Inuyasha had not only cared for him during the time of his first injuries from Naraku, he had attempted to salvage what pride Sesshoumaru had left, promising to fight him when he was ready, not allowing insignificant others to see him in his weakened state, protecting him until he was able to do so himself. 

And then there were the one-sided conversations. If only Inuyasha had known just how much of those spoken thoughts were actually heard. Through it all, somewhere in his mind, Sesshoumaru had not only accepted Inuyasha’s presence, but desired it, perhaps even craved it. Here was someone that he could trust, someone that belonged in his home, someone that he had come to know through those quiet moments alone. No other had ever earned that place.

Time had been the main culprit, winding the invisible bonds around them. All those times that he had allowed Inuyasha to live, he had wondered why. Memories of their ancient past had been revisited. Now, he had had the benefit of having Inuyasha in his home. There was no question that his home had welcomed Inuyasha as though it had found something that had been long lost. 

Somehow, this new addition to his home had instinctively known what he needed. But he had had to learn about Inuyasha; listen to those thoughts spoken aloud, consider the meaning of Inuyasha’s unexplained behavior while under his care. Inuyasha had known him, always had. Although Inuyasha had never really considered the depth of his jealousy, Inuyasha understood him more than anyone else ever could. Even knowing how cold and calculating he could be and the vast differences in their methods, Inuyasha loved him enough to care and protect him. His brother was devoted to him, always had been, and Sesshoumaru had been too blind to see it; too angry to allow Inuyasha the opportunity to display his feelings. Oh, he knew that Inuyasha did not verbalize the uncomfortable emotions. Acting on them was Inuyasha’s way of telling those he loved how he felt. And Sesshoumaru hadn’t listened very well.

Then there was the physical closeness. Inuyasha barely left his side during his second recovery, most nights and even some afternoons, staying wrapped around him, skin to skin. The second healing had progressed much more quickly and was exceptionally pleasant. When Inuyasha’s warmth had blanketed him, he had allowed himself to actually feel, for the first time, safe; something so rare that its existence could be rightly questioned. Sesshoumaru’s safety had always lay in his strength and control. He had been stripped of that and Inuyasha had healed the rift in his armor. Inuyasha had consciously chosen to be there, to keep him safe, and perhaps, to give him comfort.

Inuyasha had been his place of safety, his security, his warmth, everything that Sesshoumaru could not afford to allow anyone else to be for him. And Inuyasha had simply given it to him, asking nothing in return.

This was a new dimension in his life and he wasn’t willing to let it go. He would protect it as zealously as he would Rin, if not more so. No, Inuyasha was his; always was and always would be. He would not give up this new life for anything.

However, there was one obstacle that needed removing. Sesshoumaru flared his nostrils. A growl rose in his chest, heat seared over his skin, and the clarity of his senses increased tenfold as _that_ scent scalded the depths of his very being. In an attempt to prevent any loss of control, Sesshoumaru clenched his teeth and hand while bringing his forward motion to a complete halt. Energy swirled around him, lifting his hair, and he could feel the bones of his jaw attempting to lengthen.

He would like nothing more than to kill the wolf. In fact, images of the damage he could inflict were very satisfying. Nevertheless, he must not forget. The wolf saved Inuyasha from a death for which he would have been responsible. He must not forget that Inuyasha cared for the wolf. He must not, he must not, he must not kill the wolf! Growling deep within his chest, Sesshoumaru continued his attempt to suppress the urge to lash out at a perceived threat.

Maybe a little maiming here and there wouldn’t be so bad? A few gashes here, a couple of bruises there? The wind gradually died down and Sesshoumaru could once again feel the weight of his abundant mane lying over his shoulders and back, his muscles relaxing, and all of his bones sliding into their familiar places. He took a deep cleansing breath. 

Maiming it was.

~*~

‘ _Oh shit,’_ Kouga’s mind supplied as he rolled away from the Daiyoukai.

Although Sesshoumaru’s eyes were as bland as ever, Kouga could feel the scalding heat lurking behind those amber orbs. He may not have been a genius, but a blind man could see that there was violence possessing Sesshoumaru’s mind. This was definitely not going to be fun. Someone was going to get hurt and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be him! 

At the very least, he was equally matched. That day that he had saved Sesshoumaru’s ward, he had been a bit faster than Sesshoumaru, although that could have been due to his jewel shards. But damn, the way that the youkai had dispatched the demon behind him revealed some powers that he certainly couldn’t rival. This was going to be one hell of a fight.

“You…are an interfering nuisance and shall be dealt with accordingly. Now,” Sesshoumaru dispassionately informed Kouga while staring down his perfectly proportioned nose.

“Kinda got that backward, don’t ya,” Kouga spat.

In a blur of silver and white, Sesshoumaru streaked forward, leaving only seconds for Kouga to dodge. There was murder in Sesshoumaru’s eyes, but something was holding him back. Had Sesshoumaru seriously intended to kill him, he had no doubt that the Daiyoukai would have raked claws through his armor. Sesshoumaru wasn’t even using any of his youkai weapons.

‘ _What is up with him? Is he toying with me?’_ Kouga wondered as he successfully dodged extremely sharp, elongated claws.

Sesshoumaru smirked to himself, his features showing no outward sign of any emotion. He would have a grand time wearing down his prey and then beating the wolf to a bloody pulp. Of course, he would need to restrain himself…for Inuyasha’s sake.

“Well, come and get it,” Kouga taunted.

‘ _Is he anxious for his punishment to be meted out?’_ Sesshoumaru queried his own mind, half amused at the wolf’s antics.

He would never understand the wolf, nor did he desire to inflict such torment on himself. This time, he leapt rather than ran, his right foot connecting with Kouga’s jaw. Though it wasn’t powerful enough to break Kouga’s neck, he knew the amount of pain that he’d just inflicted was nothing to scoff at.

A local inhabitant of the area, a tree to be exact, felt the brunt of Kouga’s unwilling attempt at flight, shaking furiously as the armored male slammed into its trunk. Moments later, Kouga sucked in much needed air and raised his eyes to stare at the Daiyoukai standing across the field. The sun was lying low in the sky, gifting the lord with an angelic appearance, but that image didn’t impress Kouga. No, this youkai was a threat to Inuyasha, someone who, in a life and death struggle, had battled next to him against their worst enemy. No greater friendships could be bound than facing imminent death on a battlefield. 

Kouga loved Inuyasha, perhaps not in the same way that Inuyasha loved Sesshoumaru, but he loved Inuyasha just the same. Inuyasha’s love for Sesshoumaru was a craving for acceptance, a need for a taste of safety, for affection from one that had rejected him. It wasn't real love. And this youkai had killed Inuyasha. This one had hurt Inuyasha almost beyond repair. And this one would pay for the damage he had done.

Kouga snarled as he rushed forward. Images of despair pouring off of Inuyasha’s body painted his mind and filled his body with the desire to protect. With a speed faster than he had ever experienced, Kouga reached the Daiyoukai, only to be met with empty air. Again his breath left him as a quick kick to his back sent him sailing once more.

“You know…” Kouga coughed as he climbed to his feet and wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his right hand, “You’re a pathetic excuse for a brother. You attempt to kill him all of his life, then you pretend to love him, only to land the killing blow. You hurt him more than death ever could.” 

“Traitor!” Kouga yelled as he continued to attempt strikes on the youkai who was clearly superior to him in almost every way.

That didn’t mean that Kouga didn’t have a chance. After all, he had bested Inuyasha when avenging his comrades. And, Inuyasha had bested Sesshoumaru on more than one occasion. The only problem was that he did not have the weapons necessary to defeat Sesshoumaru. All he had was his strength, speed, agility, experience, but most of all, his desire to avenge and protect Inuyasha. No matter. If he couldn’t defeat Sesshoumaru in battle, he would defeat him with his words. Even Sesshoumaru could not deny the truth.

The sting of Kouga’s words would not have had an effect on Sesshoumaru were it not the truth. This he could acknowledge, although silently. He was not about to banter when his sole purpose was to teach the wolf a lesson. The past was the past, and Inuyasha now belonged to him. There would be no argument once this fight was concluded. 

He would not give up his brother; not after years of separation, not after discovering his deep-seated feelings. So many times he had left Inuyasha battered and bloodied, but found himself unable to deliver the killing blow. Now he knew why. 

In the back of his mind, he had hoped that Inuyasha would prove himself worthy of his attention and affection. As a child, the boy was no match, could not defend himself, nor prove himself equal. The attraction had been pushed to the deepest recesses of his mind. Inuyasha’s tenacity with his survival skills and his infinite patience in waiting for Sesshoumaru’s affection had proven the boy’s mental strength, emotional fortitude, and physical power. 

None other than Sesshoumaru equaled Inuyasha. Inuyasha was the hardest of jewels; rough cut, but powerful enough. He had earned his place. No one else was near good enough to stand by Sesshoumaru’s side. And no one would steal Inuyasha away. Inuyasha was his. For eternity. It was of no consequence that Sesshoumaru had been unaware that he had been in waiting, or that it had taken a near death experience to bring his desire for Inuyasha to the fore. Nothing in the world mattered more than keeping Inuyasha by his side.

“Inuyasha…is mine,” Sesshoumaru snarled. Poison began dripping from his fingers tips. Wind of his own making swirled around his body, once again lifting his hair. Control was slipping through his fingers and he didn’t even know it.

Kouga gasped in realization that Sesshoumaru was on the verge of transforming into to his avenging form.

‘ _This is so not good! Damn, I have got to do something.’_

The only thing available to Kouga was his instincts. Normally, they would tell him to run, but Inuyasha was too close. He would be in danger. Not thinking twice, Kouga rushed Sesshoumaru. 

In the midst of his change, Sesshoumaru was not aware of the threat and held his position, eyes red and jaws beginning to stretch. One foot swept into Sesshoumaru’s gut just below the steel of his armor and above his pelvic bone. 

If nothing else, Kouga was accurate and he was strong enough to make his blow powerful enough to dent any other less protective shielding.

Though Sesshoumaru went to his knees and his rising youki stalled, Kouga was rewarded with the sting of Sesshoumaru’s light whip slicing through his outer thigh. The gash effectively separated his skin, but no muscle tissue received any damage. Sesshoumaru gave him no time to recover, rushing forward and slashing through Kouga’s armor. 

Kouga had brought the youkai to his senses, but now the battle was truly beginning.

It was unbelievably difficult to hold back going for Kouga’s throat, but Sesshoumaru restrained himself, instead envisioning a body soaked in blood with the evidence of his own claws. He wanted to feel that flesh, slicing under his claws. There was nothing in his mind now except for the mantra “Do not kill”. Even the reason for it had left him. 

The wolf was fast and agile with unpredictable moves. Occasionally, Sesshoumaru found himself swiping through air. Quite an achievement. Regardless, it would not save the wolf from being put in his proper place.

“I asked you before, what do you want!?” drifted into his ears as though spoken from very far away. “You just want a toy that you can throw away!”

Nothing was farther from the truth. The creature was taunting him with lies. Sesshoumaru growled low in his chest. He rushed up behind Kouga and carved his razor sharp claws through the back of Kouga’s armor, cleaving it in half. 

Kouga managed to avoid the next strike with an unanticipated roll to the left. After coming to a squatting position, he leapt away to the right. Sesshoumaru whirled around just as the wolf shoved off the trunk of a tree and somersaulted over him. 

“He’s nothing to you,” Kouga panted as he crouched on the ground.

His prey was becoming annoying. It was time to show the wolf who was in charge.

This time Kouga wasn’t fast enough and gained four slashes down his left arm, a perfect mirror to the four he had already gained on his right. In only in a matter of minutes, he was dripping blood all over his body. Despite coming to the knowledge that he didn’t stand a chance, for Kouga, this was no different than him standing between a blind Inuyasha and a horde of demons. He couldn’t give up, regardless of the cost. 

While human, Inuyasha had risked it all when he came to Kouga’s aid. It was no secret that Inuyasha had made excuses, causing his protection to appear to be have been motivated by selfish goals. Inuyasha had risked giving up his most dangerous secret, his human night, just to defend Kouga. Despite common perception, Kouga did have honor; much more than he was given credit for. Honor required no less than willingness to give up his own life. 

This was going to hurt.

“You don’t have what it takes to keep him alive, much less love him!” Kouga called as he launched himself into the air.

Faking a move toward a roundhouse kick, Kouga, with the speed and agility that made him well known, abruptly switched direction and landed a hit on the stub of Sesshoumaru’s left arm. Pride rose up in him as he heard Sesshoumaru hiss. It may have been only the second blow he had landed, and Sesshoumaru may have been holding back, but at least he had the pleasure of knowing that he had inflicted pain on the one who had so hurt Inuyasha. Most likely, he would not be able to inflict much more damage, but he had done what he could. He was giving everything he had. And that was all that was required.

Only the ever present knowledge that Inuyasha would reject Sesshoumaru if he did any permanent damage to Kouga kept Sesshoumaru from slicing the wolf’s throat. His fingers itched and his body ached to see the death of this lowly wolf who would deign take Inuyasha from him. Refraining from killing the wolf was next to implossible.

Inuyasha’s soulful eyes haunted Sesshoumaru. Those eyes that had gazed down at him, despair radiating through those golden depths as Sesshoumaru lay recovering from Naraku’s poison, eyes that knew there was no chance at being accepted by the Daiyoukai. Inuyasha was wrong. Kouga was wrong. The fact that Kouga was living to threaten the security of having his brother by his side, and would continue to live and be a threat, irritated him even more so. The stench of death on Kouga’s body would be the only thing that would satisfy him. But, damn it! He was bound to keep the filthy wolf alive.

Sesshoumaru howled as he rushed forward, intent on giving the blow that would bring the wolf to his knees, the blow that would force the animal to never question his power again. This time, he would be prepared, regardless of which direction Kouga might choose to dart.

Kouga’s eyes widened. This was the moment of truth. Pure rage colored Sesshoumaru’s features; the crease of his brow deep, his fangs and gums bared, eyes tight with repressed murder. Kouga shoved off to the right and placed a hand on the ground, spring into the air to avoid the attack. Mid flip, claws sank into his belly and followed him to the ground, obviously in an attempt to avoid ripping his guts from his body.

Glaring amber eyes pierced a hole through his own cerulean blue as Sesshoumaru crouched over him without removing his claws.

“Submit,” Sesshoumaru demanded.

“Never!”

Sesshoumaru squeezed. “Admit defeat.”

“Aaah! Fuck you!” Kouga shouted as Sesshoumaru twisted the hand buried inside of his body.

“You will cease your advances toward my mate!” Sesshoumaru hissed.

“Why…” Kouga rasped, “…should I? Give me…one good reason.”

“He is mine,” Sesshoumaru growled.

“Would you give up everything you have and die for him?”

Would he? Memories flashed through Sesshoumaru’s mind…

“ _He made you weak. You almost died for him.”_

_Tensaiga pulsed against his hip…_

“ _You protected him and almost paid with your life. Would you die for him?”_

“ _You protect Rin. She is a weakness. Would you die for her?”_

‘ _I protect no one.’_

“ _Liar! You would die to protect them both! Fortunately, the hanyou is no longer a threat to your power and longevity. But, what about Rin?”_

‘ _Silence!’_

_Tentacles ripped through his body as he tossed Inuyasha out of danger. Sou’unga’s blast buffeted him after he shoved Inuyasha aside._

“What would you do for him?” Kouga continued.

Again memories assailed him……

_Leaving the coveted Tetsusaiga behind in order to save Inuyasha from dying under the influence of his raving youkai blood. In Inuyasha’s absence, his hand piercing the body of the poison master, playing protector for those on whom Inuyasha depended. His thirst for vengeance when Takemaru proudly taunted Inuyasha with the confession that it was Takemaru that had sent Inuyasha’s mother to hell. Were it not for the struggle between Inuyasha and Takemaru, the perfectly aimed sword that he had flung would have pierced the bastard’s skull._

There were so many things that he had done for Inuyasha; so many things that the wolf had not witnessed. However, he would not defend himself with the abundance of evidence. It was not the wolf’s place to question him.

“And I ask you the same question, wolf. Would you be willing to die for him?”

“Didn’t I just prove that,” Kouga rasped under the pressure of Sesshoumaru’s claws.

Pausing for only a moment, Sesshoumaru carefully removed his claws from Kouga’s entrails.

“You know not that of which you speak…Kouga,” Sesshoumaru informed the wolf as he turned to walk away.

Kouga lay on his back, trying to breathe past the pain that wracked his body. Nevertheless, if Sesshoumaru was going to win Inuyasha, then he had to try to get through to the Daiyoukai.

“Would you die for him?” Kouga whispered as he fought to stay conscious.

“I have already proven as much,” Sesshoumaru flatly intoned as he continued to stroll away from the battlefield.

“Do you love him?”

Sesshoumaru paused in his steps as memories assailed him.

“ _I will only do this once and only for you. You will never speak of it. Agreed?” demanded the most powerful youkai in the land._

“ _Agreed.”_

_Sesshoumaru leaned down until his lips were brushing Inuyasha’s right ear. His whisper was barely audible._

“ _I love you too, Inuyasha.”_

Without hesitation, Sesshoumaru gave Kouga the answer that he was seeking.

“Yes.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

__  


***Disclaimer***

  


_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._


	18. Negotiations

~*~

**Chapter 18**

_**Negotiations** _

_Sorry it takes me so long to get these chapters up, but I've been sick a lot. Doing better now._

“’Submit’, my ass,” Kouga whispered to himself.

Kouga may have given up his designs on Inuyasha; however, he was the leader of the wolf tribe and would never submit to anyone, least of all that pompous ass of a dog lord. He may no longer interfere in Inuyasha’s relationship with Sesshoumaru, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to still look out for Inuyasha’s best interests. The dog would just have to live with that.

Inuyasha hopped to the branch where he had left Shippou sleeping. The kit was still wrapped snugly in Inuyasha’s haori and tied to the branch by its sleeves. Leaving the bundle safely tucked away, Inuyasha floated to the ground and waited.

‘ _Why had he held back? He could’ve killed Kouga, but he didn’t. Guess he didn’t want to. At least the horny wolf won’t be constantly chasing after me. Man, he is so much trouble sometimes…even if he is my friend. He just pushes and pushes.’_

Inuyasha sighed. He had dreaded the possibility that it would come to this; a showdown between Kouga and Sesshoumaru. Watching Kouga get the shit beat out of himself, and worrying that he would have to jump in and save the wimpy wolf, had been nerve-wracking. Well, it was true that Kouga hadn’t run off with his tail between his legs this time, so he really couldn’t say that the wolf was wimpy in this one instance. That was something to see. At least he hadn't had to be the one to put the wolf in his place. 

Despite Kouga’s stubborn streak, he had been a true friend. They had fought side by side, and later, Kouga had saved him from himself. Given that, Kouga had provided him with a second chance to mend his relationship Sesshoumaru. Hell, Kouga had even helped to nurse Sesshoumaru back to health. Inuyasha couldn’t hold any grudges against Kouga. Everyone makes mistakes. He had been torn between honoring all that Kouga had done for him, and at the same time, having to ward off Kouga from causing any more tension between him and Sesshoumaru. It was quite a dilemma. How could he do what had to be done? He couldn’t. Simple as that. And that was why he was in this mess to begin with. He was the one that had been the wimp. It had been his responsibility to straighten Kouga out and he hadn’t. He had been partially at fault for the situation with Kouga. Perhaps the blame should be placed entirely on his shoulders.

Sesshoumaruhad managed to knock some sense into Kouga while refraining from killing the idiot wolf and for that, Inuyasha could say that he was truly grateful. There was simply no explaining why he had felt such awe and pride when he had watched his powerful mate show such strength and restraint. Considering Sesshoumaru’s temper, it had been an impressive feat. 

Inuyasha shook his head and smiled. Sesshoumaru was a magnificent creature. Unbelievably, this Daiyoukai had openly declared that he loved a half-breed. The shock, accompanied by elation, had left Inuyasha gaping and he had almost allowed himself to be seen. Oh, he knew how keen Sesshoumaru’s sense of smell was, or so he thought. Nevertheless, he had believed Sesshoumaru’s would be unable to overcome the smell of Kouga’s blood. 

“ _Yes.”_ Sesshoumaru's simple answer played over and over in Inuyasha's mind leaving him almost giddy. For Sesshoumaru to admit that aloud, it had to be true. It had to mean that Sesshoumaru would stand by it, that it was a conscious decision and not just some passing emotion. When Sesshoumaru made a decision, nothing deterred him from his goal. 

And Sesshoumaru was coming to him—Inuyasha.

Inuyasha plopped down on the grass and leaned back against the trunk of the tree that cradled Shippou. _‘He said he had already proven he would die for me. Well, there was that final battle with Naraku. I’m not sure that he meant to_ _help me_ _though.’_

Leaning back and folding his hands behind his head, Inuyasha attempted to remember all of the times that he had battled against or with Sesshoumaru, beginning with the most recent. Sesshoumaru hadn’t attacked him for quite some time before that last battle. Even then, Sesshoumaru had stood back-to-back with him when it really wasn’t necessary, giving Inuyasha’s friends the opportunity to reach him. In their battle with Sou’unga, Sesshoumaru could have easily flown over the mass of soldiers and headed straight to the source. Instead, Sesshoumaru had fought along with everyone else and slain many. There was one instance Inuyasha had never managed to figure out. Sesshoumaru had thrown him aside, taking the full brunt of a blast from that vile sword. Perhaps Sesshoumaru had thought he couldn't survive the blast. But, why save him anyway? 

There were so many times when Sesshoumaru could have easily slain him. Nevertheless, he had always walked away, leaving Inuyasha alive, if barely. Sesshoumaru seemed to know him well enough to gauge the amount of damage that he could do without actually killing him.

‘ _Maybe Kagome was right,’_ Inuyasha thought, fondling the earring she’d given him. ‘ _Maybe Rin did change him and I just didn’t want to see it. Mysterious, yeah, that’s what you are, Sesshoumaru. At least you’re mine.’_

Inuyasha smiled and his eyes lit up at that thought. As long as he was examining Sesshoumaru's motivations, he might as well look at himself. Inuyasha pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. 

‘ _Do I love him because he’s so powerful? Because he finally accepted me? Maybe it’s because, despite every opportunity, Sesshoumaru proved his own words wrong and actually did protect me. The only one who ever made me feel safe was my mother. Except now, with Sesshoumaru._ _Is it safety I'm looking for?_ _Even after_ _our violent past_ _, he makes me feel safe. Safe…was that all I ever needed? And…he never did hurt me when we were young, no matter how much I annoyed him. His attention was all that I had wanted..._ _and_ _I finally have that now.’_

Inuyasha closed his eyes, content with his reasoning. It was good enough for him. He had spent the past few years protecting those few who had fought alongside him. He had been their protector. Finally, after over two hundred years, there was someone strong enough, someone who wouldn’t be a liability during battle, someone who wanted to protect him. What he gained that wasn’t completely necessary, was a home—a true home. No more living in trees, sleeping on the ground, constantly wandering alone. He had it all. 

Now, if he could just figure out what the hell was wrong with Sesshoumaru. It was obvious that something had set off the Daiyoukai’s temper. That question would be answered soon enough. Already, the scent of Kouga’s blood was growing stronger. Inuyasha grabbed a nearby stick and stepped forward, sitting down next to the campfire and poking at the embers just to have something to do while he waited. Sesshoumaru seemed to be taking his time and Inuyasha was just plain tired of thinking so much. All he needed was his mate.

It was some time before Sesshoumaru appeared at the edge of the trees, his blank expression frustrating Inuyasha to no end. “Do you smell the blood, Inuyasha?”

“Yeah, so?” _‘Well, duh.’_

“Remember its strength,” Sesshoumaru instructed before casually strolling around the campfire.

Inuyasha quickly stood, taking a defensive position, just in case Sesshoumaru decided to take a piece out of his hide. He didn't like the attitude coming from his brother.

“I mean you no harm,” Sesshoumaru admonished with a scowl as he lifted his hand. “Smell,” he demanded.

Inuyasha stilled as Sesshoumaru’s fingers brushed the tip of his nose.

“I know that you beat the shit out of Kouga. And he always did stink,” Inuyasha huffed. ‘ _What is he trying to pull?’_

“I am very well aware that you observed our battle. My nose is much more sensitive than yours. Now, how much stronger is the smell here than it was while I stood on the other side of your camp?”

Inuyasha wrinkled his nose and swiped away the blood with the sleeve of his shirt. “A helluva lot. Why? What’s your point?”

Above them, one sneaky, emerald eye opened to a slit and spied on the two. ‘ _Even my sense of smell is better than yours, dog boy,’_ Shippou thought, mentally rolling his eyes.

Sesshoumaru sighed and gracefully sat just left of the spot where Inuyasha had been sitting. After some consideration, Inuyasha joined him. He hadn’t been certain what to expect. However, this wasn’t it. This was…weird.

Sesshoumaru turned to face Inuyasha. “My sense of smell is much more powerful than yours.” He paused to give Inuyasha time to imagine what that would mean and was amused when Inuyasha’s nose twitched. “You came to me, asking to visit your friends.” 

Again, Shippou paused, patiently waiting. A waste of time.

“Yeah, so what? What do Miroku and Sango have to do with your sense of smell?” Inuyasha asked, his thoughts running in a completely different direction from where Sesshoumaru was attempting to take them. 

Sesshoumaru nearly growled at the density of Inuyasha’s skull. “ _One_ of your friends intentionally rubbed his scent all over you in hopes of angering me, of undermining our relationship.” 

Sesshoumaru wanted his Inuyasha and if being reasonable beyond his normal bounds was required, he would do his utmost to enter that strange world of Inuyasha’s mind and try to work with what he had. Considering the failure of his previous methods, this approach of compromise was a new and frightening thing. He did have his pride to consider, and there were some things he simply would not allow. Despite this new tactic, Inuyasha would also need to bend. Some things Sesshoumaru simply could not abide. At this point in the conversation, when the memories assailed him, his patience thinned. 

“You are mine! You always were and you always will be!” Sesshoumaru hissed, leaning into Inuyasha’s face. “That smell, mixed with yours and sex…even then, when I was weak, you were mine. No one else will ever have you, Inuyasha,” he quietly added. Closing his eyes at the memory he had just conjured, Sesshoumaru struggled to control the pain.

“I love you,” Sesshoumaru whispered barely audibly, his shoulders slumping.

Wide eyes stared back at him. Inuyasha’s stomach lurched. Did Sesshoumaru really know? How could he? He had been unconscious! “You mean…the hot spring?” Inuyasha asked, his stomach churning. _‘Did he just say what I think he said?’_

Sesshoumaru’s declaration of love was suddenly buried beneath Inuyasha’s horror that Sesshoumaru was actually aware of his transgression.

“What else?” Sesshoumaru responded with a scowl. “The scent never did fully leave the area.”

Inuyasha’s heart sank. He had never meant to hurt Sesshoumaru. Even though no one could have truly claimed him at the time, he knew very well that Sesshoumaru had wanted him. And he had wanted Sesshoumaru so much that it had almost physically hurt, so much that he'd given up.

“I’m sorry, Sess,” Inuyasha mumbled, turning guilty eyes to the ground. He had failed by major proportions. All that time...all that time Sesshoumaru had been hurting and had never said a word.

“Why do you suppose that I never confronted you, Inuyasha?”

“I don’t know,” Inuyasha answered without even thinking.

“The fault was my own.”

“That’s just stupid,” Inuyasha muttered. “I screwed up…played the whore.”

“No…no,” Sesshoumaru murmured, putting his arm around Inuyasha. “I betrayed you and someone was there to…help you recover your balance. I could not blame you for the chain of events set off by my foolishness. However, that does not mean that…your behavior could so easily be dismissed and forgotten.”

Inuyasha twirled a stick around in the ashes at the edge of the fire, unable to come up with anything to say. He was so confused. It was Sesshoumaru’s fault. It was his own fault. He didn’t have to allow Kouga take him. Sesshoumaru didn’t have to kill him. What turned the dream into a nightmare? Where had things started to go so wrong? Why had they all turned against each other?

‘ _Naraku._ _That damn poison. It wasn’t so different from what Naraku had done before with Sango and Kohaku, and from what he did to me and Kikyou. It’s_ _almost_ _exactly the same. Bastard,’_ Inuyasha thought, brows furrowed in grim disgust. 

Inuyasha was certain that Sesshoumaru would not have killed him were it not for the poison. Well, that was over and done with and Kouga was put in his place. Everything should be okay. If he and Sesshoumaru could manage to talk, instead of allowing their tempers to overrule their sanity, maybe things would work out fine. 

Contrary to popular opinion, Inuyasha was an observant individual and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Rin and Shippou had been running interference, and it truly had been helpful. It was possible that those two could be a calming influence. Yes, things were going to be okay.

Inuyasha sank into Sesshoumaru’s embrace then sniffed. “You stink.”

“Well, thank you, Inuyasha. I had not realize this fact.”

Inuyasha first grimaced then turned his gaze up to Sesshoumaru while sporting a wry grin and a cocked eyebrow. “I’m sure you’re enjoying the smell of Kouga’s blood on your claws. Doesn’t change the fact that it stinks though.”

Sesshoumaru made a show of pursing his lips, lifting his claws, and studying them. “Hm, I will take your offended senses into consideration.” 

Inuyasha gawked as Sesshoumaru carelessly dropped his hand back to its previous position and pretended to stare off into the distance as though he considered the topic of discussion utterly insignificant. Sesshoumaru was teasing him? _The_ Sesshoumaru was displaying humor!? Someone please grab one of Kagome’s movie thingies!

Inuyasha steeled himself when he noticed Sesshoumaru’s playful demeanor grow serious. Was Sesshoumaru still angry with him? Was he not forgiven?

“There is one issue that must be addressed.” Sesshoumaru paused and slightly tilted his head to the side as though listening to voices that Inuyasha could not hear. “What are your plans for Kouga?”

Sesshoumaru turned his face directly at Inuyasha and gave him a pointed stare. It was all too clear to him that the bonds between Inuyasha and the wolf were unbreakable and knowing that Inuyasha was not in love with Kouga made accepting their relationship easier. Kouga had proven his devotion to Inuyasha’s welfare and he wouldn’t fail to stand by them if needed. There were advantages to be had; a satisfied Inuyasha and a willing ally. As long as Kouga didn’t make a nuisance of himself, or step over the solid line that Sesshoumaru had drawn, he would not gut and skin Kouga alive; although the thought of doing just that gave him an immense feeling of morbid gratification. He could dream couldn’t he? Maybe he could still kill a few things when the urge bit him in the ass?

“That’s a stupid question. I don’t have any plans,” Inuyasha replied, wary of where this was going.

“My point exactly. What will you do the next time he walks through the gates of our home?”

Inuyasha really hadn’t given it much thought. Would Kouga really be stupid enough to risk showing up again? ‘ _Definitely,’_ Inuyasha inwardly groaned. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Typical,” Sesshoumaru snorted. “Because of your friendship with him, I will only allow his presence on three conditions. First, and foremost, he must follow proper protocol. Messengers must be sent to request permission for an audience and a date of arrival. The length of the visit must be specifically stated. Second, you will honor my decision to decline or accept. Third, my presence on the grounds is required and you both will be chaperoned when out of my range of sight, sound and hearing.”

“Chaperoned? What the hell for!?” Inuyasha exclaimed with a scowl.

“Can you fault me with not trusting the wolf?”

“Keh! No. That’s pretty obvious.” Inuyasha flushed, feeling guilty that he might not be able to fend off Kouga's attentions well enough to please Sesshoumaru.

“Then it is settled,” Sesshoumaru stated flatly.

“Hold on. Not so fast. What gives you the right to say _‘no’_ if I want Kouga to visit?” Inuyasha huffed in defiance of being ordered around like a weak bitch, all feelings of guilt dissipating on being ordered around.

“I understand your attachment to Kouga. However, you must understand that, for now, I need time, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru sighed. “I will not seek to separate you and Kouga...” The skin around Sesshoumaru’s eyes tightened with old pain. “You can be most inconsiderate. I prefer having the right to veto any decision that you might make concerning…that wolf. I insist and will not be moved.”

“You insist?” Inuyasha frowned. So, Sesshoumaru was asserting his authority. Inuyasha wasn’t sure that he liked that very much. Then again, it was he, Inuyasha, who had failed in putting Kouga in his place.

“I will brook no argument on this, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru solemnly declared. 

‘ _Wrong thing to say,’_ a sneaky Shippou thought, mentally smacking his forehead.

With the stern quality of Sesshoumaru’s voice and the hard stare in his eyes, it was more than obvious that there would be no use arguing. Inuyasha really did like the idea that Kouga couldn’t just show up and chase him around. Constantly fending off Kouga’s advances did get tiresome, and it was uncharacteristically understanding of Sesshoumaru to go so far as to allow Kouga’s presence at all. Regardless, giving Sesshoumaru complete control over the situation was a hard pill to swallow. Although, he could understand Sesshoumaru’s need to have control concerning Kouga’s presence, what if allowing Sesshoumaru free reign in this matter gave Sesshoumaru the impression that he could run his life? 

Only one way to find out. Inuyasha straightened himself and cleared his visage.

“Well, if you have the last word on this, what about other issues? Do you plan on being the sole decision maker in our relationship?” Inuyasha asked, cocking his brow, half expecting Sesshoumaru to entrench himself in the position of the ruler of all things great and small.

Sesshoumaru smirked. The obvious thickness of Inuyasha’s skull was showing through and through. “Mates discuss and debate those things upon which they disagree. I shall do my utmost to see to it that we do not come to an impasse.”

“And if we can’t agree? What then?” Inuyasha asked skeptically.

“Would outside counsel be sufficient?” Of course, Sesshoumaru had all the answers. Why wouldn’t he? 

Now, this was different. If an outsider was involved, Inuyasha might feel comfortable enough to allow Sesshoumaru complete control over the entire situation with Kouga. After all, he was almost certain that, though it might be tough to obtain Sesshoumaru’s approval for Kouga to visit, Sesshoumaru wouldn’t completely lock the wolf out. On the plus side, Kouga would respect Sesshoumaru’s decisions much more than his own. 

Siding with Sesshoumaru on this would have its upside. The thought of standing with Sesshoumaru on any matter gave Inuyasha a warm, satisfying comfort, the feeling that they truly were a pair. Giving in might not be all that bad.

However, this ‘counsel’ part of the bargain could be a trick. Sesshoumaru might have someone around that would always side with him and Inuyasha would always end up out in the cold. He wouldn’t have that forming a wedge between them.

“Depends on who it is,” Inuyasha stated, sitting up straight and crossing his arms. 

“Is there someone in particular that you would choose?” Sesshoumaru asked, lifting a brow, highly doubting that Inuyasha knew anyone that could play objective adviser. 

‘ _That was a good question.’_ Inuyasha knew very few people to begin with. Who could possibly be smart enough to outwit Sesshoumaru, stupid enough to go against the Daiyoukai, and wise enough to have a really good solution? There was only one person that Inuyasha knew who might be able fill that position. Pervert though he may be, Miroku was one of the wisest men Inuyasha had ever known. As his friend, Miroku wouldn’t lie to make him feel better. He would be truthful; especially with the consequences of failure to give a viable solution would probably result in something along the lines of meeting the Buddha, up close and personal. That Miroku recognized his need to be with Sesshoumaru and had actually advised him to go to Sesshoumaru helped Inuyasha to make his choice.

“Miroku. I trust him and he’s really smart,” Inuyasha stated with confidence, even though he knew that Sesshoumaru might laugh in his face.

‘ _Oh yeah! Smart thinkin’, dog boy,’_ Shippou thought with glee. _‘Didn’t know you had it in you. Eh, Sesshoumaru must be rubbin’ off on ya.’_

“I am familiar with the monk. However, I do not know him well,” Sesshoumaru stated with some concern. 

Inuyasha didn’t give Sesshoumaru the opportunity to argue against it. “He…um…He actually hit me over the head with his staff and told me that I shouldn’t deny you.” 

A nice shade of pink blossomed across Inuyasha’s cheeks. He’d just admitted to being crowned on the head by the monk and to ignoring good advice, which reminded him of something else that he had also wanted to ask Miroku about. One thing at a time though. Sesshoumaru’s puzzles were already starting to give him a headache.

Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha wasn’t rejecting the proposition and that he actually showed some ability to negotiate. The young man held promise.

‘ _Inuyasha seems willing to accept my terms. Perhaps I should give him the benefit of the doubt and test this monk. Examining the monk is an excellent opportunity to rebuild trust with Inuyasha. A show of respect then. It is the least I can do for my mate.’_

“Hm, I will join you on your visit and learn more of this monk,” Sesshoumaru casually stated.

“It’s kinda hard to see you getting to know a human,” Inuyasha snorted, hiding his astonishment that Sesshoumaru would even consider something that might be outright disgusting for the youkai lord.

“So, you accept my terms?” asked Sesshoumaru.

‘ _Come on! Sesshoumaru is right. Give it up, Inuyasha. Just do it!’_ Shippou thought with anticipation.

“You promise to give Miroku a fair chance?” Inuyasha asked, not quite convinced that Sesshoumaru would accept a human. A tiny bit of doubt still remained.

“Obviously. I would not waste time and energy examining the monk’s qualifications, nor respect your wishes, were I not to give the monk the opportunity to prove himself worthy,” Sesshoumaru stated with consternation. Did Inuyasha really believe him to be so dishonorable? “Do you accept my proposal, Inuyasha?” Sesshoumaru asked, needing an answer that could not be questionable later.

“I’ll only agree to your terms if you examine and accept him. If you don’t accept him, then I have the right to examine anyone you choose. That’s only fair,” Inuyasha bargained.

“You have my word,” Sesshoumaru smiled.

‘ _Yes! Oh yeah. Miroku, you’d better do a good job, or else…I’ll burn your wandering hand with my foxfire!’_ the little fox squealed inside his head. ‘ _I can’t wait to tell Rin!’_

~*~

“Come on, Sesshoumaru! That’s the eighth question so far. Does he have to answer any more?” Inuyasha exclaimed, tired of Sesshoumaru’s _‘examination’_ of his friend.

“It’s alright, Inuyasha.” Miroku grinned at his excitable and trusting friend. “I can understand your mate’s concern. Not only is he entitled to be certain that I can truly be of service to you, in addition I also need to protect myself by knowing what I’m getting myself into. You see, Sesshoumaru’s questions give me insight into his mind and I will better be able to help you should he accept me. At the same time, Sesshoumaru is determining whether or not my problem-solving capabilities are adequate to mediate when you two have a disagreement that you are unable to bridge.”

“Now, as for your hypothetical question, Sesshoumaru,” Miroku continued as they sat on the floor of his modest hut, the three males circling the firepit, Inuyasha scowling on one end, Miroku in-between on the side, keeping a comfortable distance from the lethal youkai at the other end. At least Sesshoumaru was glaring at Inuyasha and not him. “Were I your General, I would accept the agreement with the only stipulation being that negotiations for change could be enacted at a later date. The agreement is favorable and prevents much death and destruction through potential war.”

Sesshoumaru furrowed his brow, realizing that the monk had made a very wise observation.

“And if the enemy broke the truce?” Sesshoumaru asked, continuing his extensive examination.

“I would attempt further negotiations. However, the enemy must not be given the impression of weakness by my eagerness. And I would give little, if any, of what was given in the first negotiation. In fact, it would be best having the other party believing that they had come out of the deal ahead, when in actuality, I had.”

“Yeah, Miroku would be really good at that,” Inuyasha grumbled, very aware of how Miroku could easily swindle anyone out of the shirt off their backs.

Sesshoumaru liked the idea that the monk understood the value of retaining one’s dignity. However, in a personal relationship there would be no room for deceit, and yet both parties should come out of the issue feeling satisfied that the needs of both had been met.

“You do understand, monk, that the consequences for any attempt to deceive me or my mate would require a very long and painful death?”

Miroku chuckled while staring at him with wide violet eyes. The nervous quiver beneath his voice pleased Sesshoumaru very much.

“I would never think to do such a thing, Lord Sesshoumaru! Though you are a most formidable creature, my goal is to see Inuyasha happy. If you are not happy, then he will not be happy. So, I will do my utmost to see to both of your needs.” Miroku chuckled again, showing a lot of teeth with his much too wide smile.

“Now, monk, back to the negotiation scenario. If you are able to obtain an agreement for re-negotiations, how would you prepare?”

“Repeated requests for negotiations are often a ruse where one party is attempting to set justifiable grounds for a war. There must be no room for surprises. My men would be preparing for battle. In the event that negotiations fail, my people and lands would be as well protected as possible. The number of those placed at the borders would be increased, all tools of war positioned and readied to be called at a moment’s notice. My allies would also be informed and ready to march with me. Nothing would be left to chance. Hopefully, I could display enough force that the enemy would think twice about ever asking for another negotiation; and in the best of scenarios, would drop the original request. Simply by readying my people, the enemy might withdraw any threat that he had intended to make should the second negotiation fail.”

“And if what he wants is reasonable?” Sesshoumaru plodded on.

“I would make certain that he received what he deserved while retaining my dignity and right to make demands of him in future disagreements.”

“And if you should come to an impasse, yet believe that there is a reasonable solution?”

“I would seek outside consultation,” Miroku answered.

“And if you were unable to obtain the cooperation of your enemy?” Sesshoumaru continued to drill.

“No hesitation, no mercy,” Miroku answered, his eyes as hard and fierce as they always had been during the many battles that he and Inuyasha had faced. He well knew the depths of his desire to protect the ones whom he loved.

The monk had proven wise in all of the questions that Sesshoumaru had posed. All of his answers pointed to the fact that the monk would be just. Simultaneously, he would also be firm in his decisions. Yes, the monk would perform his duties well and with honor.

“Very well,” Sesshoumaru stated. Turning to Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru never lost his serious countenance. “He is acceptable.”

Inuyasha gaped like a fish. Sesshoumaru had just accepted a human as an outside adviser!? Either Miroku was very impressive, or he, Inuyasha, didn’t know Sesshoumaru as well as he had thought. Maybe he was asleep and caught in some surrealistic, warped dream.

“Inuyasha, you will catch locusts,” Sesshoumaru stated in that flat, baritone voice, hiding his amusement and satisfaction. He had pleased his mate and had surprised him as well.

“Come, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru said, rising to his feet, not even thanking Miroku.

Inuyasha was finally awakened from his shock-induced stupor. “I have something…private that I’d like to ask Miroku,” he said hesitantly.

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. His mate should be able to confide in him in all things. However, that particular subject could be negotiated without the monk’s presence. He would get his answers…later. Before turning, he gave Miroku a respectful nod and swept from the stifling hut. Outside, he took a deep breath, thinking to clear his head. Unfortunately, the stench of humans tainted the air. He would give Inuyasha privacy while giving himself some much-needed fresh air by creating some distance between himself and the local humans.

Inside the hut, Miroku stood and strode over to seat himself next to Inuyasha, settling his mind and wiping it clear of the past two hour’s intensive and nerve-wracking examination.

“What is it that you wish to ask me, my friend?” Miroku asked, becoming concerned at Inuyasha’s scowling countenance.

“That bitch, Jinenji’s mother, said that I am bound to Sesshoumaru because of some blood thing with our swords. I want to know if there is anything about our relationship that isn’t real, that isn’t just him and me being who we are.” Inuyasha frowned over at Miroku.

“Was that all she said about it? Did she mention any magic?” Miroku asked, concerned that Inuyasha might have doubts that could impede his newly found happiness.

“No. That was it. I’ve tried to ignore what she said, but keeps popping up in my head and I want it gone.”

“Well, have no fear, my friend!” Miroku said with a genuine smile. “Your swords are bound. They are your father’s fangs, after all. You and Sesshoumaru are bound by his blood because it runs through both your veins. The old woman is a healer and sees the truth of these bonds. There is nothing so strong as the bonds of family. Their presence and love heals us in so many ways. It is the nature of things. Those humans without family or without close friends tend to heal more slowly, give up more quickly, and are weaker, both mentally and physically. Though a family cannot be adopted, the bond of blood is stronger.”

Miroku furrowed his brows as he bypassed the most prominent and painful memories of his childhood in order to bring up those that gave him comfort. Avoiding the memory of his father violently swallowed up into the wind tunnel, he dug further back. 

“I recall from my childhood; I would hear my father call for me. When I found him, he would say that he hadn’t called me, though he had been preparing to do so. I always knew when he needed me. The bonds of some families are stronger and more spiritual than others. Seeing that you and Sesshoumaru are youkai, you should have that type of connection; perhaps even stronger than humans. Do not worry so much, Inuyasha! It is a natural thing. Be happy!”

That did make some kind of sense. While standing and breathing a sigh of relief, Inuyasha couldn’t help but quirk a smile at Miroku’s mile-wide grin.

“Thanks for your help, Miroku. I’ll go get Shippou and catch up to Sesshoumaru. I’m sure that he couldn’t stand being around so many humans.” Inuyasha fidgeted. It was customary to give some kind of blessing. “Sango is strong. She will bear you a strong son. Take good care of her. I’ll be back soon to check up on you two.”

“It is my pleasure to help such a dear friend, Inuyasha. Thank you for thinking of me in your efforts to find happiness,” Miroku said as he stood, his black and purple robes swishing over the wooden floor.

Both headed out to find a certain little fox kit that had just high-tailed it to the field where the other children were playing. Only minutes later, the little instigator was sitting atop Inuyasha’s left shoulder while they approached Sesshoumaru. Shippou watched, incredibly pleased, as Inuyasha entwined his fingers with Sesshoumaru’s and the action was reciprocated. 

The afternoon was bright, the crisp breeze of a waning autumn filled with the scent of surrounding forests, and long awaited peace settled on the family as they made their way home.

~*~*~*~*~*~

***Disclaimer***

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._


	19. Mended Hearts

**~*~**

**Chapter 19**

_**MENDED HEARTS** _

“Rin! Rin!” shouted Shippou as he ran through the gate of his new permanent home, a place that he had doubted he would ever see again. And here he was. Joy surged through him like a tidal wave.

Rin came running through the trees at break-neck speed.

“Shippou! You came back! I knew Lord Sesshoumaru would bring you back!” she squealed, knocking Shippou onto his back as she flew into him, flinging her arms around him. Ever the optimist, she had waited impatiently, but with the knowledge that her hero would never fail.

Both were grinning a mile wide as they stood and dusted the grass from their clothes.

“Yeah, and we won’t be leaving again unless it's to go visit someone like Sango and Miroku. She’s having a baby, you know? And you’ll get to come with us!” Shippou panted. “We’re here for good!”

“Rin,” Sesshoumaru said, gaining the girl’s attention.

“Yes, Lord Sesshoumaru?” she chirped.

“Take the kit…Shippou, and go play,” Sesshoumaru said, correcting himself. After all, they were a family now.

“Hey, wanna go make some rock candy!?” Rin exclaimed, already running toward the front doors.

“Sure!”

As both children scurried off to make a mess, Sesshoumaru could barely contain a smile. His life was complete. Inuyasha was home. Laughter would ring through the halls for a long time to come, what with two rambunctious children wreaking havoc. 

Sesshoumaru’s furrowed his brow. Since when did he enjoy the cacophony of so many individuals? He supposed that it had been a gradual increasing of his tolerance. It was Jakken who had first become a constant presence. Then Rin had come along and the two had nearly driven him insane with their petulant arguing. Nevertheless, he had become accustomed to their constant chatter. 

How quickly he had fallen into it. Was it something that he had needed without even knowing? It did not matter. His existence was no longer one of brutal supremacy; although, he would still be master of his domicile. There would be no mistaking that. Regardless, his path had turned and his life would become much more interesting, not that Rin and Jakken hadn’t been amusing all on their own. But now, there was someone with whom he could share his life.

This culmination of events would not have taken place had it not been for the weakening of his strength by Naraku’s poison. Naraku had lost in more ways than one. In fact, Naraku was actually responsible for the life Sesshoumaru now had.

The colors of the surrounding landscape seemed exceptionally brilliant and sharp today; the scents on the breeze crisp and definitive. Everything surrounding him felt more full of life. The most pleasing of all was the warm presence strolling beside him. Inuyasha had come home to stay. Such a strange turn of events. Sesshoumaru hadn’t needed to sacrifice anything. In fact, he was stronger for it. 

Inuyasha had been correct when he had told Takemaru that one’s strength increases exponentially when that person has someone to protect. Sesshoumaru would protect his family with every ounce of power that had ever flowed through his veins.

Though the future held great promise, Inuyasha’s view was tempered by experience. Sesshoumaru’s palace felt like home. However, for Inuyasha, only the passage of time could solidify the idea of 'home' within his heart. He hadn’t been there long enough to actually establish a permanent presence. Too many times, a potentially bright future had been snatched away, so it was habit to mistrust those things that could make him happy. There could forever be a dark force just waiting to sweep it all away. Perhaps he would eventually be able to let down his guard and fully enjoy this opportunity, despite his current hesitancy to completely relax into his new life with Sesshoumaru.

Turning his head and gazing up at his brother for reassurance, Inuyasha met amber orbs that seemed to be examining his features.

“We are home, Inuyasha.” Sesshoumaru stated, his words having a deeper, underlying meaning.

“Yes, home,” Inuyasha agreed, smiling up at him, somewhat relieved that Sesshoumaru was reiterating the fact that he belonged.

Sesshoumaru turned his face forward, tipping his nose up into the air and taking a deep, cleansing breath only to be unceremoniously brought out of his sentimental mood.

Huffing and puffing and having barely escaped being trampled by the excited children, Jakken scurried up to his lord and master.

“Lord Sesshoumaru! I see that you have returned!”

Sesshoumaru turned his gaze toward his ever faithful retainer, one who always seemed to be stating the obvious. The toad’s diminutive size had never prevented him from, to the best of his abilities, serving Sesshoumaru in the highest capacity. It appeared that Jakken lived only to serve the great and terrible Lord of the West. 

Sesshoumaru supposed that Jakken knew him better than most anyone. Jakken also had the insane habit of believing that he would be relieved of his service, and head, at any moment. Despite that, he displayed a jealous protectiveness that Sesshoumaru had found endearing, as well as amusing. Oddly enough, Jakken had not given him one bit of trouble concerning his relationship with Inuyasha. Although Sesshoumaru had noticed the initial glares directed at Inuyasha, the toad had held his tongue. That was a miracle considering Jakken’s outspoken nature.

After a moment’s thought, Sesshoumaru found a chore that would please the toad. Jakken was consistent in his complaining of being commanded to play babysitter to Rin. However, Sesshoumaru knew that the toad considered it a high honor. After all, how many people did Sesshoumaru trust?

“Jakken, you will see to it that Rin and Shippou are occupied while I…tend to my mate,” Sesshoumaru ordered with arrogant superiority.

Jakken’s brow furrowed as he looked back and forth between the two, obviously confused. Inuyasha appeared to be in fine health. Once realization hit him, his little puke green face blushed into a nice shade that mimicked the grass beneath his feet and his yellow bug-eyes nearly fell out of his head. He barely managed a response, all pending complaints concerning babysitting effectively swept away.

“And, Jakken…”

“Yes, milord?” Jakken managed to squeak.

“Expect a thorough examination of your ability to produce rock candy,” Sesshoumaru stated, his head slightly tilted, staring away as though commenting on the weather.

“But, but…” Jakken spluttered.

“Come,” Sesshoumaru instructed, taking Inuyasha’s hand in a tighter than necessary grip and leaving Jakken to his task.

Inuyasha had never heard Sesshoumaru so openly tease anyone. Perhaps Sesshoumaru was genuinely happy. What a foreign concept.

“You know, you’re going to have to learn to stop ordering me around like some servant,” Inuyasha growled, though he allowed Sesshoumaru to drag him along. That is, after he closed his gaping mouth. 

Sesshoumaru suddenly turned, grabbed Inuyasha, and plastered their bodies together. He took his mate in a soul searing kiss, tasting everything that Inuyasha had to offer. It pleased Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha didn't hold back anything.

Inuyasha easily acquiesced, falling into the kiss with equal fervor. Nothing could compare to Sesshoumaru’s heated kisses. The taste, scent and sensation always turned Inuyasha into a puddle of goo.

“Yet, you enjoy it,” Sesshoumaru whispered into Inuyasha’s ear after sliding his lips away.

Inuyasha snorted, but couldn’t keep the smile from his eyes. A shiver ran through his body, his head lolling to the side and his eyes rolling back into his head when Sesshoumaru’s wet tongue licked a swath up through the inner pink flap of his ear.

“You know?” Inuyasha panted. “You can be damn persuasive.”

“I am aware of this fact, and I intend to use it to my advantage with every opportunity that presents itself,” Sesshoumaru murmured, his warm breath ghosting over the fine, white hairs of Inuyasha’s ear.

“Yeah, well,” Inuyasha said as he shivered then swallowed, “One of these days, I’ll find something to use against you.”

“Ah, but you already know what that is and have used it to your advantage on many occasions, little brother.” Sesshoumaru grinned, licking the pink flesh of Inuyasha’s other ear again and recalling all of the times that he had given in over that one little phrase that Inuyasha loved to repeat.

“ _Just say it, Sessy.”_

Inuyasha’s arms clung to Sesshoumaru’s waist, seeking to steady his quivering legs. Sesshoumaru had become an expert at taking his breath away and leaving him on the verge of unconsciousness. In those moments, thought was foreign to his mind. Only sensation remained, somehow breaking through the euphoria burning inside his abdomen and chest. 

The blood rushed through Inuyasha's veins so strongly that there was no room for any other sound in his ears. Any time that Sesshoumaru decided to assault his body, his lungs would temporarily forget how to draw breath. Eventually, only encroaching darkness and the overwhelming dizziness would remind Inuyasha of the need to breathe.

Sliding his hand up Inuyasha’s back, Sesshoumaru threaded his fingers through the thick mass of Inuyasha’s long, snowy white hair, tugging it until he had drawn Inuyasha’s head back far enough to bring his face into view. The young man’s brilliant golden eyes were half lidded and glazed with lust. His cheeks were flushed a rosy hue, his lips swollen with the extra blood filling his skin. The tips of his fangs peeked through the slightly parted lips. In his state of inebriation, he looked completely and utterly defenseless, a state which Sesshoumaru had found to be quite alluring.

Sesshoumaru could not help himself. With the fluff that was typically used as a weapon, he hoisted Inuyasha, wrapped his mate around him and headed off to the bathing chambers. After the day’s journey, cleansing was needed before he would indulge in this tasty morsel, except for the ears. They were not at all safe from his probing. 

In order to keep Inuyasha blind to his surroundings, Sesshoumaru suckled at sensitive appendages, wringing whines and moans from his mate, delighting in the feel of Inuyasha writhing against his body. Every response fueled the desire to take his mate. Today, he wanted to savor his mate. Their journey had left no place or time for them to indulge in the pleasure of the flesh, and Sesshoumaru was anxious to begin.

It wasn’t until Inuyasha felt the creeping heat of water swallowing up his skin that he was able to blink away his drunken stupor. Sesshoumaru had done it again. Somewhere along the way, he had lost his clothes. His ears were feeling slightly sensitive. The delicate skin could not take much more handling. Perhaps that was the reason that Sesshoumaru had seen fit to relinquish his hold on them.

For some reason Inuyasha didn't understand, Sesshoumaru still held him in the grasp of mokomoko-sama. The weight of all that wet, fluffy fur restricted his movements and he looked up to see Sesshoumaru studying him once again. 

Sesshoumaru seemed to have been lost in contemplation quite a bit these past few days, leaving Inuyasha occasionally feeling ignored. Was this what Sesshoumaru had done on all of his previous journeys? Think? Or maybe he was daydreaming. Inuyasha couldn’t imagine such a boring existence. Inuyasha hoped they would not fall into a rut with Sesshoumaru always being so distracted that he completely neglected Inuyasha.

“Close your eyes, little brother,” Sesshoumaru murmured with unusual affection, the soothing quality of his baritone voice giving Inuyasha no reason to protest.

The moment Inuyasha closed his eyes, he felt Sesshoumaru leaning him back and combing his hair out into the water. The heat created by the earlier teasing gradually receded as deft fingers began to wash his hair with something that contained a slight hint of pine fragrance. It took some time as Sesshoumaru had only one hand to work with; not that Inuyasha minded in the least. Tucked against his mate in the warmth of the water was quite relaxing. This was the first time that Sesshoumaru had ever really pampered him. It felt peculiar, but too enjoyable for Inuyasha to really give a damn.

As Inuyasha’s hair was cleaned, it practically glowed with the conditioning properties of the concoction Sesshoumaru had applied. The long, shining, white hair was stunning in its opalescent beauty. ‘Enchanting’ was the only word Sesshoumaru could come up with to describe it. Why hadn’t he noticed it before? So much about Inuyasha he had taken for granted. That would not happen again.

For the moment, Inuyasha was being cooperative and Sesshoumaru stole the opportunity to savor the feel of Inuyasha’s creamy skin, flushed pinked with the heat of the bathwater. By the time he had finished with Inuyasha’s arms and chest, he could tell that the young man was nearly asleep. Just as well. It would give him more time to relish what would finally be his for the taking any time he desired a taste, a kiss, a caress, anything that he wanted.

Initially, throughout his explorations, Sesshoumaru made certain to avoid any areas that would be sexually stimulating. That could wait. All was quiet and peaceful. They were alone for the first time in days. 

During the three months prior, the situation had been relaxed and enjoyable. Hopefully, that would now be the norm. Sesshoumaru would do his utmost to make it so. Though his little brother may, on the outside, appear to be thick skinned, Sesshoumaru had learned that this was not the case. He would need to make great strides in taking into consideration Inuyasha’s feelings, much more than he had first suspected. This, he could do. He had never failed at any task and would not fail at this one. 

Any other requirements could be broached at another time, but not now.

Who would have thought that the brothers could ever let their guard down around one another? Yet, here they were, as vulnerable to each other as either of them could ever be. Sesshoumaru sat on a ledge beneath the water; his pale skin bared to the sun, his lengthy silver hair twisted into a roll that hung over his right shoulder, his face hovering studiously over his brother as his arm slowly skimmed through the water as he memorized the smaller body lying across his lap. 

Inuyasha’s body had become pliant, his face turned into the baby-fine fur as he lazed in his brother’s embrace. Absolute trust. A lazy smile curled the edges of Inuyasha’s lips as he enjoyed the wandering hand that was bathing his legs. When the caresses turned into a massage, Inuyasha found himself drifting off into a rare peaceful sleep beneath Sesshoumaru’s capable fingers. It was a welcome relief after everything that they had been through.

Inuyasha couldn’t believe how tender Sesshoumaru was behaving. There was absolutely no way that he was going to interrupt Sesshoumaru’s attentions. The affection present in those gentle touches warmed his heart. No, he would simply lie quietly and soak it all in.

‘ _Keh, just like a lazy cat. Wouldn’t Kilala be jealous!?’_

~*~

Inuyasha awoke to an incredibly soft and comfortable warmth wrapped firmly around him. He was dry, which meant they were no longer in the water. Stretching, curling back into a ball and sleeping as long as possible were the only things on Inuyasha’s muddled brain. Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, had other ideas. The hand gripping and kneading Inuyasha’s hip was an abundantly clear indication to Inuyasha that sleep was not on the menu. Inuyasha was to be today's delicacy.

With his body molded around Inuyasha’s, Sesshoumaru slid his hand upward against Inuyasha’s chest until he was able to tuck Inuyasha more solidly against his own.

“So, you have finally decided to join the land of the living,” Sesshoumaru murmured into Inuyasha’s right ear, sending it flicking along with its fellow shivers that were currently tracing little sparks down Inuyasha’s spine.

“Yeah, well…” Inuyasha had to swallow away some of his drowsiness, “s’kinda hard not to with you feeling me up.” Inuyasha finished with a stretch and a yawn.

Balancing himself on his elbow, Sesshoumaru took the opportunity to roll Inuyasha, sliding on top of him in the process. How Sesshoumaru could be so graceful and fluid with only one arm and hand had always baffled Inuyasha, not that he would complain.

“You know, Sess, I think that your arm is growing back,” Inuyasha mumbled, his bleary eyes studying the stub of Sesshoumaru’s left arm.

Sesshoumaru nearly smiled at Inuyasha’s use of the pet name. Though, he was relieved that Inuyasha had not completely reverted to the childhood pet name of ‘Sesshy’.

Sesshoumaru smirked from his vantage point, resting his chin on the back of his hand. “Do tell.” 

“Well, I didn’t know it could do tha…!” The attempt to speak with such force merely prompted another yawn.

“Hn,” was all Sesshoumaru had to say concerning Inuyasha’s near pout. He was much more interested in activities that did not include studying insignificant portions of his own physique.

Sesshoumaru watched as Inuyasha’s eyes drifted shut, his head falling to the right, nose nuzzling the soft fur of mokomoko-sama. Inuyasha definitely needed to wake out of his hazy, twilight stupor. And yet, Sesshoumaru had to take stock of the view before him. Inuyasha’s thick black eyelashes dusted the crest of his cheeks which glowed with a deep pink due to the surrounding warmth. His newly washed and dried white mane flowed haphazardly across the pillow providing a backdrop for his serene expression. In repose, his features gave the appearance of a boy that was not quite yet a man. There was the slightest hint of a contented smile on his rosy, full, parted lips. All in all, it was an incredibly beautiful portrait that inspired Sesshoumaru to rub his cheek against Inuyasha’s. He took a deep breath, drinking in the scent of pine trees and green grassy fields.

“Mmm,” came the smallest of sighs, tingling along the skin of Sesshoumaru’s cheek. The sensation spread, gradually flowing over his entire body.

Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but smile. This lovely creature was his and his alone. He could spend the rest of the evening lying like this, and for a moment he was tempted to do just that. But, he wouldn't. The scent of Inuyasha, coupled with the sight of his bared body and the abundant tactile sensations begged Sesshoumaru to touch, feel, and taste, to see those resplendent golden orbs hazed over in bliss. But most of all, he desired to hear the moans of his lover. 

To that end, he used his claws to comb Inuyasha’s hair out and away from the tender triangular ears. Due to the warmth of Sesshoumaru and his fluff, the inner flaps of Inuyasha's ears were a shade darker than usual. Soon they would be flushed crimson from the scorching blood of passion rushing through Inuyasha’s veins. Sesshoumaru smiled at the thought.

Leaning up, Sesshoumaru trailed the tip of his nose along Inuyasha’s temple. He took a deep breath, savoring the clean scent of pine trees and summer leaves. Moving up further, furrowing through the abundant crown of white hair until he could bury his nose behind the left ear, he carefully exhaled, stopping when Inuyasha’s ear flicked at the slight tickle. Once the ear relaxed, he repeated the action. This time, the ear flattened back against Inuyasha’s head and a weak rumble vibrated against Sesshoumaru’s chest. The unconscious reaction caused the corners of Sesshoumaru’s lips to quirk up into an amused smile. 

With Inuyasha asleep, Sesshoumaru would be allowed some time to relish the delightful dish splayed out beneath him.

Flattening his liberally slicked tongue, Sesshoumaru brushed it through the folds of the flattened ear, running it back and forth across the delicate, petal pink flesh. Initially, the ear attempted to fight the intrusion, pinning itself further back, pressing the edges together even more so than before. Sesshoumaru’s tongue gently massaged the soft flesh. Ever so slowly, the ear relaxed, blossoming open and lazing to the side. 

The warmth hidden within seeped across Sesshoumaru’s lips beckoning him to gently draw the delicate flap into his mouth. As more and more of Inuyasha’s ear disappeared between his lips, he suckled at the skin and swirled his tongue in circles. Inuyasha’s body involuntarily reacted, giving a minor rendition of the writhing that he would be performing later.

In only a few moments, Inuyasha’s breaths had quickened, his chest rising and falling in sharp, rapid increments. Sesshoumaru could feel the rising stiffness against his groin and Inuyasha wasn’t even awake yet, meaning that Sesshoumaru could probably have even more entertainment while his brother slept. With the fullness of the organs between their bellies increasing, Sesshoumaru was forced to adjust his position, allowing their erections to rest side by side.

It was always a treat to wake his lover this way; dazed and aroused. Right now though, with Inuyasha firmly cloistered in sleep, it was clear that Sesshoumaru would have the opportunity to simply enjoy the delicacy before him.

Careful not to irritate the one ear that he had been feasting on, Sesshoumaru gently slid his long slender fingers beneath Inuyasha’s neck, then slowly rolled Inuyasha’s head to the other side in order to gain access to the other ear. With the subtle attack on the right ear, a precious sound wafted through the room.

“Mmm…Sessssh…”

Inuyasha seemed too groggy to even completely enunciate Sesshoumaru’s name, but that didn’t matter to Sesshoumaru. The quiet moan was the reaction that he had been anticipating. Now that it had started, there would be no stopping. 

The flap of Inuyasha’s ear gradually slid from between Sesshoumaru's lips and was then graced with one last lap of Sesshoumaru’s tongue. The downward line of Sesshoumaru’s perfectly proportioned nose, couched in Inuyasha’s abundant mass of hair, traveled through the softened mane, breathing in the delicious scent as he made his way down, his lips ghosting over and across Inuyasha’s forehead, just barely touching the skin. As his lips journeyed every contour of Inuyasha’s features, their silken touch occasionally paused and pressed light languid kisses along the black brows, over his eyelids, down the line of Inuyasha’s pert nose, across his now rosy cheeks, down the temples, tracing the jaw line, only to end up absorbing the heat from Inuyasha’s full, lush, slightly parted lips. 

Each and every curve, plane and nuance had been explored and Sesshoumaru had paused only a hair’s breadth away from those delicious rosy lips. His eyes closed while he breathed and savored the scent wafting from the depths of Inuyasha’s lungs. Sesshoumaru was drowning in the moist air escaping Inuyasha’s mouth and he wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in the essence that was his lover, his mate.

For long moments, time stood still, respecting Sesshoumaru’s right to bask in the scent, taste and touch of his mate. Mokomoko-sama had slid away and rested just below the firm white globes of Sesshoumaru’s backside, covering only his upper thighs as he rested between Inuyasha’s legs. Incredibly long strands of hair gave the impression of liquid silver running down in trails and pouring over Sesshoumaru’s back and down his sides to pool around them. 

When he could no longer ignore the pull to taste his lover, he moved from that fractional breath away and barely touched his lips to those that tempted him beyond his limit to endure. Something seemed to swell inside of him, filling him full to bursting, and all he wanted to do was ravage this deceptively innocent creature. Nevertheless, he also wanted his pleasure to linger. He wanted time, like an endless road, to stretch out before him, allowing him to appreciate what had been for so long unattainable. 

His lip trembled against Inuyasha’s with restrained desire as he attempted to keep his kisses to feather-light brushes. But all too soon, he gave way and fully settled, nipping and running his tongue over the supple pliant flesh, reveling in the taste, wanting more, more than he could ever possibly attain. He felt the gnawing desire to be fully inside his lover, his and Inuyasha’s flesh wholly enmeshed. That one thirst, brought to the fore of his consciousness, drew him deeper into the depths of longing that stoked the fire of his passion.

Fighting himself had never been so difficult and Sesshoumaru found his arm inching away from Inuyasha’s neck to Inuyasha’s shoulders, crushing them both together as his kiss became firmer, more desperate, his tongue flicking out and tasting, delving into that wet warmth. A deep insatiable hunger guided his actions, so much so that he was not even aware that his body was seeking its fulfillment, rocking against Inuyasha, creating the smallest amount of friction; not enough to satisfy, but enough to drive his lust higher.

Inuyasha nearly chuckled. His little game was up. There was no way that Sesshoumaru could possibly believe that he could sleep through this. It was when he had begun wondering just how much molesting Sesshoumaru would engage in before waking him up that he had decided to start playing this little game. And he found that he had rather enjoyed it himself. However, he could only take it so far before Sesshoumaru might become suspicious. He only wished that he could do the same to Sesshoumaru, but the ever vigilant lord never slept through much.

Once Inuyasha had begun to return the kiss, Sesshoumaru must have realized that he had awakened for the strength of the kiss gradually gentled to a tentative tasting and exploration. Inuyasha cracked an eye open when Sesshoumaru pulled away. The once aloof visage of the demigod had been destroyed and the amber eyes that now looked down upon him held wonder, contentment, need and some emotion that Inuyasha was having difficulty defining as it did not belong to the flawless control of the youkai above him. Lust he had expected, but not this. This manifestation of emotion went much deeper than he had ever expected possible from his mate.

For that one gift, the desire to ravage his mate ignited a blaze that roared over Inuyasha like a rampaging wildfire, searing through his veins and scorching his flesh. He almost believed that his sizzling fingertips would set Sesshoumaru’s hair afire as he reached up to tuck the silver strands behind the exquisite elven shaped ears.

“So beautiful,” Inuyasha whispered as he traced each curve, groove and bend of the pointed ear before threading his fingers through the silvery strands and pulling Sesshoumaru into a warm and tender kiss.

But the kiss belied Inuyasha's impassioned intentions. In a flash, he had flipped Sesshoumaru and straddled the pale youkai lord, suckling that enticing ear that he had been admiring only moments before. It earned a gasp that kindled a flutter of sparks in his belly. Oh, to hear the tantalizing moans, cries and whispered pleas of his mate! It was bliss and he wanted more!

To this end, Inuyasha drifted downward from the ear, watching as Sesshoumaru turned his head to the side, accommodating Inuyasha by exposing the milky line of his throat. A shiver ran up Inuyasha’s spine, forcing his eyes closed when he felt Sesshoumaru’s fingers traverse the length of his side, lightly brushing along his ribs and waist. It only encouraged him to press his groin against Sesshoumaru as he swept his tongue upward along the alabaster flesh of Sesshoumaru’s neck. With each swipe of his tongue, he was gratified to feel Sesshoumaru fighting the urge to arch off of the bed, Sesshoumaru’s hips barely tipping forward.

A devious grin pressed itself against Sesshoumaru’s neck. Fangs scraped the flesh, lightly scoring it as Inuyasha slid his hands beneath Sesshoumaru’s shoulders, wrapping his fingers around them for leverage. While gripping Sesshoumaru in his unyielding hands, he forcefully caught the flesh just below Sesshoumaru’s ear between his fangs and sucked it into his mouth, voraciously feeding at it; licking, suckling, flicking. It garnered the response that he was hoping for.

“In…yasha,” Sesshoumaru moaned as his back violently arched off the bed.

Heat washed through every pore of Inuyasha’s body as he held on to Sesshoumaru, joining the ride and grinding into Sesshoumaru’s groin, their juice-slicked erections gliding along one another. Sesshoumaru was so warm, his skin silky soft beneath Inuyasha. Inuyasha could only crave more. 

Even after Sesshoumaru had fallen back to the bed, his chest heaving, Inuyasha did not relent, moving below the area that he had just tortured. Again he rode the wave of Sesshoumaru’s torment. Had it not been for his grip on Sesshoumaru’s shoulders and his thighs squeezing Sesshoumaru’s hips, he would have most likely been thrown off. Over and over again, he pressed Sesshoumaru’s endurance, reveling in the quiet moans and gasps, and still thirsting to hear more.

Inuyasha eventually drew away. As he studied his handiwork, he had to smile. Sesshoumaru’s neck and collarbone were a landscape of small puncture wounds, red welts and light bruises. The pulse in the large veins of Sesshoumaru’s neck beat like a hummingbird’s wings, his panting short and rapid as though he were being deprived of much needed oxygen. 

Just as Inuyasha had intended, Sesshoumaru was immersed in the sensation of Inuyasha's impassioned exploration. With his head tipped back, resting in a river of silver, it was obvious that Sesshoumaru's markings had become a darker hue. His eyes were barely open and his features slack. It was obvious to Inuyasha that Sesshoumaru's consciousness was barely there.

The times when Sesshoumaru allowed Inuyasha to take him wholly and completely were a rare occurrence. Sesshoumaru letting go and allowing his body to respond however it chose was a wondrous sight and Inuyasha appreciated the trust in that one act. Why Sesshoumaru was giving himself in this particular instance, Inuyasha was not quite certain, though he speculated that it had something to do with their recent squabble. Perhaps it was a form of restitution. 

Regardless, Inuyasha loved seeing the pure abandon reflected in Sesshoumaru’s features. Inuyasha was free to do as he pleased. Rewarding his mate, Inuyasha indulged in a round of tender kisses, slowly tracing his mate’s lips with his tongue, dipping in occasionally. The taste of his lover was overpowering and he savored Sesshoumaru’s mouth with languid caresses and quiet suckling. The longer he allowed himself to enjoy this delicacy, the more his body screamed its voracious need.

Sesshoumaru’s entire body trembled as Inuyasha kissed his way down and suckled at his right nipple, nipping and teasing until it became nearly painfully hard. His legs involuntarily opened, allowing Inuyasha to slip between them. Soft lips brushed his flesh on their way to the already hardened left nipple. Wet heat encircled it and Inuyasha sucked it into his mouth. Once it was slicked, he nipped at it then soothed it with his lips and tongue. Rivers of heat flowed throughout Sesshoumaru’s body. 

It was obvious that Inuyasha was in the mood to take his time and Sesshoumaru hoped that he had the fortitude to be patient.

Cold air assaulted Sesshoumaru’s nipple, but Inuyasha warmed it with his thumb and fingers. Both were soothed while Inuyasha slowly made his way down to Sesshoumaru’s belly, his lips never once leaving the smooth expanse of milky white skin. Sesshoumaru watched and noted occasional twitches in Inuyasha’s ears. He reached down to massage the flap of the right ear. 

For a brief moment, Inuyasha leaned into the hand and glanced up at Sesshoumaru with a contented smile before skirting Sesshoumaru’s erection and dipping his tongue into Sesshoumaru’s belly button. Sesshoumaru shivered in response and dropped his hand away as he closed his eyes. 

Inuyasha’s cheek rested against the side of Sesshoumaru's shaft, the warmth sending streams of heat shooting through Sesshoumaru's veins. It was only heightened when he watched Inuyasha’s tongue swirl around in the puddle of precum before lapping at it until he was completely clean. Sesshoumaru groaned and closed his eyes again in anticipation of what was to come.

So far, Sesshoumaru hadn’t made a move to put a stop to Inuyasha’s torment and so Inuyasha continued on. Ignoring Sesshoumaru’s erection, which he would have preferred to immediately take into his mouth, Inuyasha decided to lathe the creases at the junction of Sesshoumaru’s thighs. He then ran the tip of his tongue up that single magical line between Sesshoumaru’s family jewels and entrance. 

Desire was building within Sesshoumaru. With enough inducement, Inuyasha would be allowed to take his brother in any way that he chose. He just had to ignite Sesshoumaru’s need into such a bonfire that the great lord was incoherent. Already, the responses to his treatment were increasing. Slight twitches and tremors, accompanied by gasps and moans were becoming more and more frequent while Inuyasha toyed with his lover.

While he sought to defeat Sesshoumaru’s inhibitions, Inuyasha ignored his own rising need. It was always a battle that Inuyasha very much enjoyed, and today, Sesshoumaru didn’t even seem to be fighting. As Inuyasha’s tongue journeyed everywhere but the most pertinent areas, he felt the arches of Sesshoumaru’s back. When Sesshoumaru’s hand came down, fisted in his hair, and attempted to guide him to the stone hard erection just in front of him, Inuyasha decided that a change of scenery was in order. He pried Sesshoumaru’s fingers from his hair then licked and kissed his way down Sesshoumaru’s thighs until he reached the soft, sensitive skin just behind the knees.

Sesshoumaru felt as though his body was coiling and ready to snap. Inuyasha had tormented him to the end of his limits without even touching him where he needed it most. His own eagerness to be sated showed in the clear fluid dripping onto his abdomen. He wanted, no, needed Inuyasha. 

When Inuyasha lifted Sesshoumaru's leg and began suckling on the underside of his knee, his entire body jolted. The intensity of the reaction was nearly painful. His head burned, feverish with desire, his body aching with denied completion. Wanton urges filled him as he relinquished his control in favor of Inuyasha’s purposeful cultivation of passion’s hunger. And not all of this was physical. At least a portion of his euphoria could be attributed to the undeniable affection that was more than made evident in each of Inuyasha’s touches.

The soft moans floating throughout the room had Inuyasha’s body humming with a yearning to be touched and he could no longer stand it. Tugging Sesshoumaru down the bed, Inuyasha flipped around atop Sesshoumaru, presenting his erection to Sesshoumaru. Immediately, he licked his fingers then voraciously licked up the clear fluid from Sesshoumaru’s belly just before licking the head of Sesshoumaru’s member. He didn’t hesitate to swallow Sesshoumaru’s shaft. 

In this position, it was not the least bit uncomfortable. That was the reason that he liked it so much. He could take Sesshoumaru whole and tolerate any type of movement. 

Sesshoumaru writhed, bucking his hips in an effort to gain friction. If Inuyasha could have smiled he would have. Inuyasha slid his hands beneath Sesshoumaru’s thighs as he lowered his body and, subsequently, his own throbbing shaft toward Sesshoumaru’s mouth. His eyes clenched in preparation of the heated wet warmth and he was not disappointed, a deep groan vibrating within his chest. While he slid his shaft into Sesshoumaru’s waiting throat, he completely forgot about his saliva slicked fingers. 

This was one of the most erotic activities that he enjoyed. Both of them being inside of each other at the same moment sent shivers racing along his flesh. Fire licked his skin and a feeling that he could not describe filled his belly, seeped up through his chest, and tingled in his throat. 

In Inuyasha’s mind there was almost nothing that could compare to this.

Inuyasha couldn’t hold his body still any better than Sesshoumaru as they both began to rock in rhythm to each other’s movements. He could feel everything, every contour of Sesshoumaru’s throat while comfortably gliding in and out. Inuyasha loved the feel of Sesshoumaru inside of his own mouth and throat, heavy and thick with blood, hard, hot and throbbing. It filled him up and not just physically. 

Remembering the fingers that he had prepared, Inuyasha continued his current activities while beginning to stroke down the line that began at the base of Sesshoumaru’s tightened sacs and teased at the entrance to Sesshoumaru’s body, massaging and loosening the tight, puckered flesh. As Inuyasha manipulated that tight ring, he noticed that Sesshoumaru was indeed relaxing. Sesshoumaru had even brought up his knees, setting his feet flat and had proceeded to use the leverage to lift his hips, thrusting even deeper into Inuyasha’s throat. 

Their movements became quicker, their bodies sliding along each other while the friction gave relief and at the same time, stoked the fires burning their skin. Sesshoumaru had wrapped his arm around Inuyasha’s waist and had Inuyasha trapped, but not so much that he could not move. Together they sought to sate themselves, and at the same time, hold the end at bay.

Sucking Sesshoumaru deep within his throat, Inuyasha slipped one finger into the tight entrance to Sesshoumaru’s body. The suction on his own cock strengthened and he had to try his best not to come right then. Sesshoumaru snapped his hips forward then back against Inuyasha’s finger. There was still no resistance when Inuyasha added another finger. In fact, Sesshoumaru began thrashing about, his body seemingly out of control, his hips flexing, lifting and dropping in an effort to get Inuyasha deeper into his body. Inuyasha obliged, inserted a third finger, slightly curled the three fingers and began pumping, searching for that sensitive spot. 

When Sesshoumaru’s back bowed and he shoved Inuyasha’s hips up so he could cry out, Inuyasha knew that he had found that spot. He wasn’t happy to have been so abruptly disconnected from Sesshoumaru’s mouth, but hearing the near howl was worth it. Inuyasha was no longer aware of his own needs as he hit that spot over and over while sucking hard on Sesshoumaru’s member. 

Sesshoumaru was writhing beneath Inuyasha, gasping, panting and moaning. Here and now, Inuyasha had defeated Sesshoumaru. He had his lover at his mercy. And, he would not stop until he could feel the rush of fluid tingling just under the skin of Sesshoumaru’s shaft. Only then would he relent.

The more frenzied Sesshoumaru became, the more Inuyasha’s body suffered with an all consuming desire to take or be taken. Fortunately, he would not be waiting much longer. The rush of liquid through Sesshoumaru’s shaft had become pronounced to the point that Inuyasha knew that he must stop if he wanted to engage in any other activities. 

Inuyasha quickly drew away and repositioned himself between Sesshoumaru’s thighs, hiking Sesshoumaru’s trembling legs over his shoulders. Staring down, he gazed on a most captivating sight. Sesshoumaru’s head was tipped back, lips slightly parted, skin flushed with a rosy hue, his silver mane stuck to the perspiration on his face and his hand tossed to the side of his head. His eyes were hooded and unseeing. There was little to no awareness of his surrounding as his chest rose and fell in deep pants.

Inuyasha carefully placed the tip of his shaft at Sesshoumaru’s puckered entrance and glanced up to see Sesshoumaru closing his eyes and fisting his clawed fingers into the sheets. While keeping an eye on his mate’s response, Inuyasha gradually broke through and sunk into the tight welcoming heat. The gripping warmth parted for him and Sesshoumaru succumbed so easily, spurring Inuyahsa forward. 

Withdrawing and gliding back into that tight clenching heat had Inuyasha's eyes rolling back into his head. It was exquisite, something to savor, yet something that had him quaking in an effort to deny himself completion. Taking a deep breath and bracing his arms around Sesshoumaru’s thighs, Inuyasha set a languorous pace.

This was what Sesshoumaru had decided was necessary. After their recent altercation, it would be profitable to grant Inuyasha the liberty to guide this encounter. It would help Inuyasha to settle into his new home, help him to feel as though he belonged. 

Not all power needed to reside with Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha needed to feel trusted, wanted, and loved. That would not happen if Sesshoumaru did not cede control in some areas at some times. This was only a stepping stone. 

Sesshoumaru was finding that he more than enjoyed the results. The only thing required of him was to yield his control. It was very freeing to say the least. Every touch inspired a response and Sesshoumaru held back nothing. Only for Inuyasha would he relinquish all self-control, only for his mate, his lover. 

Sesshoumaru's body moved in ways he had never experienced, his voice uttering nonsensical verbalizations. The only word to come out clearly was the name ‘Inuyasha’. Many times did that name breathe past his lips as his body writhed under Inuyasha. He felt as though he was always on the precipice of falling into fathomless oblivion. 

That Inuyasha took Sesshoumaru was of no consequence to Sesshoumaru. He only needed release, by whatever means necessary. And he would allow Inuyasha to choose the form that it took.

The sheer bliss that Inuyasha bestowed upon Sesshoumaru was indescribable. The sensation of his body being stretched and filled, Inuyasha moving in and out during this time of abandonment threw Sesshoumaru into pure and utter euphoria. His ears beat with the pulsing sound of blood rushing through his veins. His vision blurred beyond any attempt to distinguish his surroundings. But, there was always Inuyasha in the center of his state of being. Inuyasha…

“Please...Inuyasha…,” Sesshoumaru panted, entreating Inuyasha into more fervent movement, craving to be entirely consumed by Inuyasha’s passion.

Much to Sesshoumaru's relief, Inuyasha wasted no time fulfilling his request. Releasing his hold on Sesshoumaru’s legs, Inuyasha fell forward, his hands planted at each side of Sesshoumaru’s head. Instinctively, Sesshoumaru encircled Inuyasha’s waist with his long legs and reached up to draw Inuyasha down into a searing kiss. 

The desire to sink his tongue just as deep as Inuyasha was thrusting overwhelmed Sesshoumaru's senses and all he wanted was to lose himself in the taste and scent of his lover. By the time Inuyasha managed to pull free, Sesshoumaru had nearly suffocated them both and his hand fell to the side. His entire body felt weightless. And then, Inuyasha gripped his shaft.

“Inuyasha!” Sesshoumaru cried out as he threw his head back and arched from the bed, the air completely stolen from his lungs.

That was all the prompting that Inuyasha needed. He groaned as he snapped his hips forward and plunged into Sesshoumaru’s body, a reaction that he had no control over. Shimmering in a gleam of sweat, the result of self-restraint, their skin seemed to glow as they moved in a rhythm set by the height of their desire. 

The seductive sight of ecstasy playing in Sesshoumaru’s features and the siren song of his moans and pleas were just too entrancing. Earlier, it had been so enthralling that Inuyasha had become less aware of his own need, but now he was all too aware. Sesshoumaru was bucking against him, nearly contorting in an effort to force him into a deeper, harder, and faster penetration, his claws digging into the tender flesh of Inuyasha’s right hip and his back.

Inuyasha fell into Sesshoumaru’s chest while swiftly stroking Sesshoumaru’s thick shaft. His fangs found their way into the abused flesh of Sesshoumaru’s neck. Using his weight and his fangs, he managed to subdue the frenzied youkai and proceeded to thrust vigorously, his hips buffeting Sesshoumaru’s bottom, shoving them forward and jarring them until they became acutely cognizant of the very solid feature of their bodies and motion. The enhanced perception of friction threw them to the very edge of the awaiting eclipse of passion.

“Sesshoumaru,” Inuyasha murmured as he raised his head to gaze into Sesshoumaru’s amber orbs.

At the sound of amorous reverence, Sesshoumaru’s back bowed and he buried his head in Inuyasha’s hair just as the first explosion of release blew him into oblivion. Inuyasha felt Sesshoumaru’s cream splatter over his hand. Coupled with the clenching around his erection, that was all it took to throw Inuyasha over the edge and into that blinding vortex of rapture. 

Inuyasha's shaft pulsed and twitched. His body jerked as he erupted and filled Sesshoumaru with the seed of his passion, with his heart and his love. His head dropped and with their temples pressed together as they continued to ride out the fury of the violent storm that was wracking them to the core. Over and over, they arched and bowed forward and back with the wind of their pounding hearts howling in their ears, scorching their skin, and searing their veins.

Neither wanted this moment to end and so they pushed their bodies into obedience, continuing to strain against one another until both were completely spent.

With his chest still heaving, Inuyasha sank down, molding his trembling body to Sesshoumaru. The effects of their lovemaking gradually dissipated and Inuyasha rolled off of Sesshoumaru only to flop to his side and lay his head on Sesshoumaru’s left shoulder.

“Damn!” Inuyasha said as he rose up and looked at the stub of Sesshoumaru’s left arm. “Your arm really has grown just in the past hour. I’m not lying! Look!”

“Hm,” Sesshoumaru sighed, raising a brow, only now noticing the slight tenderness at the end of the stump. “And your point is?”

“Well, if sex makes it grow faster then…” Inuyasha trailed off, smirking at Sesshoumaru, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Before Inuyasha knew what had happened, he had been flipped onto his belly, yanked up onto his hands and knees, and was supporting the weight of Sesshoumaru’s body as it draped over his.

“Shall we test your theory, mate?” Sesshoumaru purred into Inuyasha’s ear.

“As many times as you want,” Inuyasha chuckled, wriggling his ass against Sesshoumaru’s hips.

And the theory was tested over and over and over…

_**THE END** _

~*~*~*~*~*~

_***Disclaimer*** _

_Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru._

~*~*~*~*~*~

**Author's Note:**

> Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.


End file.
